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Man vs. Woman (1) 2008-02-26 23:32:58

Gender Wars — 差異篇

男女如何看自己
http://www.ideaphotos.com/Idea-Photo...ing-Stats.html

 

 

 

原料學

 

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Hazardous materials data sheet HMDS)危險物質資料表
Element: Women
元素: 女人

Symbol: Wo 符號: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
發現者: 亞當
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6 kg, but known to vary between 40 & 200 kg
原子質量: 公認為 53.6 公斤,但可能變異度在 40~200 公斤之間
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas
含量:世界各地均有出產

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
物理性質:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
1.
表面通常由彩裝包覆
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
2.
沒事時也能沸騰(激怒);任何未知理由也能使之凍結。
3. Melts if given special treatment.
3.
用特殊方法處理可使之融化
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
4.
如果不正確使用會吃到苦味。
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
5.
以不同狀態存在於自然界中,能在純粹的金屬到普通的礦石的各種不同的狀態中發現。
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
6.
只能在正確的地方用施壓才能獲得

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
化學特性:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
1.
和金銀等貴重金屬及大範圍的寶石有很大的親和性
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2.
可吸收大量的昂貴物質
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3.
可能在沒有任何理由及預警下引起自發性嚴重爆炸
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly when saturated in alcohol.
4.
不溶於任何已知液體,但飽和的酒精能大幅提升其活性
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
5.
對男人而言是已知最強的 Money reducing agent

COMMON USES:
一般用途:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
1.
高度裝飾性,特別是擺在跑車中
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
2.
對於疏解壓力有很大的功效
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
3.
是非常有效的清潔劑

TESTS:
偵測法:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
1.
在自然狀態下發現的純質呈粉紅色
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
2.
放在另一更完美的Wo旁時會變成綠色(臉色發青)

HAZARDS:
潛在危險:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
1.
除了經驗豐富的老手外,可能具高度危險性
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
2.
同時持有一個樣本以上為違法,但數個樣本可以在不直接接觸的情形下保存在不同的場所


Element: Man


Symbol: Ego
自我
Discoverer: Eve
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 80 kg, known to vary from 45 to 250 kg.
Occurrences: Large quant
ities in all populated areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all sporting events and areas known as \"singles bars\". Extremely low quantities can be found in any location where cleaning up is required.
出現:大量出現在所有群居的區域。高濃度的沉積在所有的運\動場所及類似單身酒吧區域。極低的機率出現在需要清潔的地方。


PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
物理性質:
1. Surface often covered with hair--bristly in some areas, soft in others.
1.
表面常覆蓋毛髮--有些區域比較硬,有些地方較柔柔
2. Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense.
2.
感到不便時便達沸點,當面對邏輯和常識的時候就達凝固點。
3. Melts if treated like a God.
3.
把他當神一樣對待,就會融化。
4. Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
4.
以極端的警告處理能引起頭痛和嚴重的全身痛。
5. Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
5.
樣品能從最深度的敏感和最極端遲鈍間非常不同的狀態中被發現。
6. Becomes stubborn and unyielding when pressure is applied; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.
6.
當施以壓力時,會變成頑固的和不屈服;只有溫柔、撒嬌、奉承才會屈服

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Is repelled by concentrated quantities of precious and semi-precious metals and stones. However, is attracted to small quantities of these when viewed worn against the skin of a woman. It is believed woman\'s skin combines with the aforementioned to create a highly magnetic attraction for this element.
2. May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened.
2.
如果皮夾被開啟,可能會誘發自發性的爆炸。
3. Requires copious quantities of substances known as attention, reassurance, and stroking.
4. When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
5. Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
6. Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
6.
被包尿布的小孩,尤其是那些臭不可擋的東東打敗
7. Is rendered non-functional when confronted with the items in #5 & #6.
7.
當面對項目 #5 & #6 時即呈現無功能狀
8. Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
9. Is impervious to embarrassment.
10. Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman.

COMMON USES:
1. Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo.
2. Can be used in recreational activities.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity.
2. Reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

HAZARDS:
1. May react extremely violently when another Ego interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen.
以上: http://www.jokes.org.au/men-and-women/

 

 

解剖學

 

 

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另一ㄍ男人女人大腦版本,男生沒變,女生變粉多(老樣子)

 

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演化論

 

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Man Cycle vs Woman Cycle

Men:

(1) All men are extremely busy
(2) Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
(3) Although they dont really care for them, they always have one around
(4) Although they always have one around, they always try their luck with others.
(5) Although they try their luck w/ others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
(6) Although the woman leaves them, they still dont learn from their mistake and still try their luck with others.

Women:

(1) The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
(2) Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
(3) Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
(4) Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
(5) Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just an “old rag”
(6) Although their clothes are always an “old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them
(7) Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they dont believe you.

http://fonzation.com/blog/2007/03/27/man-cycle-vs-woman-cycle/


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Who are better friends? : Men or Women
Women :
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend\'s apartment overnight. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends, and none of them confirm that.

Men :
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend\'s apartment overnight. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends : 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

以上: http://humor-sudhir-lp.blogspot.com/2005_03_01_humor-sudhir-lp_archive.html

 

Mouse for women

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Eye test for men

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A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle

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Ray Troll\'s T-shirt design

\"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle\", and this particular fish really does look out of its element - and out of control, at that! Makes an interesting comparison to the other Sightings. I like the slightly psychedelic feel of this picture, the use of colour, and especially all the fun stuff happening in the borders. Reminds me of everything from Van Gogh to album covers to MAD magazine.

http://www.fishonabike.com/sightings.htm

 

 

 

Men vs Women - The Differences

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yDbwqa-76Y

額!差點兒忘了肥來補上這個  .......如果您不小心有耐心終於看到這兒,不知道是否表示一下意見?

話說:男、士、女士的思緒是不太一樣的,您願不願意告訴大家,直覺上您比較喜歡哪一個 模特兒所代表的 Lady Lilith(為什麼?)當然,請別忘了說您是gentlemanLady~~~ 

 

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左邊是 Fanny Cornforth,右邊是 Alexa Wilding

故事在 → 
Lilith

 

浏览(2511) (0) 评论(2)
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作者:ebola 留言时间:2008-03-31 21:33:08
Gege,

根据人们的喜好判断其性别
粉難吧! 以前學生物學自己得到一個定律,凡"生物"都有"例外"(因為例外的就是老師會考的 :D),尤其,人類的變數是這麼的多~

除非.....突然想到一個笑話,改天找到在貼出來吧!
回复 | 0
作者:gege 留言时间:2008-03-31 20:17:14
很有趣。
gege喜欢左邊(Fanny Cornforth)的Lilith,您是否可以根据人们的喜好判断其性别呢?:)
回复 | 0
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