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百草园  
碧绿的莱畦,光滑的石井栏,高大的皂荚树,紫红的桑椹  
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百草园
 
注册日期: 2008-11-09
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最新发布
· 获奖散文:冰糖葫芦
· 走入美国教育16:美国孩子的打工
· 获奖小说:《西嫁娘》
· 走入美国教育15:利用学校资源
· 走入美国教育14:望子成龙--女儿
· 走入美国教育13:生日爬梯的变迁
· 走入美国教育12:加拿大野生动物园
友好链接
· 阿黛:惠风山庄
· 在水一方:在水一方的博客
· 林贝卡:林贝卡
· 转悠:没事瞎转悠
· 写点儿什么:写点儿什么的博客
· 快乐小店:快乐小店的博客
· 冬青:冬青的博客
· 虔谦:虔谦:天涯咫尺
· 椰子:椰风阵阵,思绪如河
· 山梓:山梓的博客
分类目录
【走入美国教育 I】
 · 走入美国教育9:孩子需要督促写作业
 · 走入美国教育8:妈妈,我什么时候可
 · 走入美国教育7:飘游在西方世界的中
 · 走入美国教育6:可爱的复活节兔子
 · 走入美国教育5:美丽快乐的牙仙子
 · 走入美国教育4:万圣节拾趣
 · 走入美国教育3:教育,为了每一个孩
 · 走入美国教育2:校车·阅读·图书馆
 · 走入美国教育1:初遇美式教育评估
 · 《走入美国教育-- 藤儿藤女成长录》
【走入美国教育II】
 · 走入美国教育16:美国孩子的打工和
 · 走入美国教育15:利用学校资源
 · 走入美国教育14:望子成龙--女儿学
 · 走入美国教育13:生日爬梯的变迁
 · 走入美国教育12:加拿大野生动物园惊
 · 走入美国教育11:渴望宠物
 · 走入美国教育10:美国初中卫生课
【乖女憨儿(3)】
 · 教育,为了每一个孩子
 · 学前班和它开启双眼的阅读
 · 美国学前班入学评估
 · 谈对孩子学习的引导
 · 美国初中卫生课
 · 儿子今天高中毕业
 · 爱深深,儿子做晚饭(组图)
【乖女憨儿 (2)】
 · 美国高中的节日闹剧(组图)
 · 儿子浅谈美国政府和宪法运作
 · 美国高中物理课的小项目
 · 美国孩子一生一次的舞会(图)
 · 可爱的复活节兔子
 · 美丽快乐的牙仙女
 · 渴望宠物(续完)
 · 渴望宠物
 · 生日Party的变迁
 · 爬天梯---儿子拿驾照
【乖女憨儿 (1)】
 · 儿子今天考SAT
 · 望子成龙--儿子学艺
 · 望子成龙--女儿学艺(下)
 · 望子成龙--女儿学艺(上)
 · 走访美国名校—儿子看大学
 · 妈妈,我什么时候可以有男朋友?
 · 孩子们心目中的快乐时光
 · 女儿的青蛙故事
 · 孩子们的圣诞老人
 · 这样的卫生课
【女儿的婚礼】
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:婚礼花絮
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:美丽的婚礼
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:Rehearsal晚宴
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:抵达Grand Teton
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:婚礼的筹备
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:习俗和选择
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:相爱到订婚
 · 那场美丽的婚礼:妈妈的感慨
【77级的故事】
 · 77级,海外游轮聚会(下)
 · 77级,海外游轮聚会(上)
 · 77级,最后的大字报
 · 77级,江二哥有缘“小屁孩”
 · 77级,我的第一张火车票
 · 77级,“书”写往事
 · 今年我们重相聚—77级同学聚会
【出版的书籍】
 · 《走入美国教育-- 藤儿藤女成长录》
【美国生活(9)】
 · 今天威州是“北极旋涡”
 · 昂贵的公司节日晚餐
 · 我的第一位英语老师
 · 旧金山, 情丝万万千
 · 感恩2018
 · 银湖沙戈国家公园-银湖篇
 · 银湖沙戈国家公园-沙漠篇
 · 威斯康辛·冦勒
 · 为“吃”几番竟折腰
 · 枝繁叶茂百草园
【美国生活(8)】
 · 芝加哥植物园
 · 芝加哥,不同凡响的城市
 · 玩嗨了,Pokémon Go
 · 枪,让子弹飞
 · 加拿大野生动物园,惊魂一刻
 · 美国生活,简单多彩
 · 咋总赶不上点儿呢?
 · 跟你分享人生的黄金时段
 · 一封职场告别信
 · 美国做义工,中国学雷锋
【美国生活(7)】
 · 国内亲友来美国购物
 · 隔海难孝父母恩
 · 当年公子哥,今日才情郎
 · 感恩2015
 · 二人世界佛州行(下)
 · 二人世界佛州行(上)
 · 不懂美国医疗系统的一场虚惊(下)
 · 不懂美国医疗系统的一场虚惊(上)
 · 接受美国警察的调查
 · 向911呼救
【美国生活(6)】
 · 新年快乐,家宴待客
 · 美丽的家园
 · 索要甜点,美国人就是这样长胖的
 · 冰天雪地----2014
 · 珍惜生命、享受亲情
 · 新版:塞翁失马焉知非福
 · 请问你老公的性别?(纪实笑话)
 · 鲜花☆美酒☆佳肴
 · 老爸也要玩电脑
 · 请你站到讲台上
【美国生活(5)】
 · 美国变穷了?还是时代变了?
 · 我们去吃麦当劳!
 · 秀秀俺的新玩具
 · 孩子多大出国留学最好?(四)
 · 孩子多大出国留学最好?(三)
 · 孩子多大出国留学最好?(二)
 · 孩子多大出国留学最好?(一)
 · 请你自己烤牛排(组图)
 · 回首2012
 · 美丽的房子,幸福的人生
【美国生活(4)】
 · 芝加哥-北国饭店 烧烤-远足
 · 浅谈美国的医疗系统(下)
 · 浅谈美国的医疗系统(中)
 · 浅谈美国的医疗系统(上)
 · 有朋来自远方?(图)
 · 警报,小心美国骗子!
 · 围城里的分界线
 · 家有机器人--宠物荣芭
 · 金发碧眼的潘金莲(下)
 · 金发碧眼的潘金莲(上)
【美国生活(3)】
 · 网络时代,没有网络服务
 · 我涉及的异国婚姻
 · 美国中部风土人情--各种欢庆集会
 · 美国中部风土人情--威州花旗参
 · 婚礼进行曲
 · 三十年回首--大学同学聚会
 · Super Bowl, Packers 赢了!
 · 瑞雪兆丰年,暴风雪席卷威州(组图
 · 美国为什么要业务输出?
 · 为朋友,为我们自己
【美国生活(2)】
 · 咄咄怪事,买车难!
 · 从两件小事看在美国入乡随俗
 · 拯救美国
 · 差点当了法庭陪审员
 · 中国也能有校车吗?
 · 三个女人一台戏(附食谱)
 · 胜利,得之不易
 · 美式足球俱乐部(附图)
 · 万圣节拾趣
 · 错鞋记
【美国生活(1)】
 · 千里姻缘一线牵
 · 教你买车一招
 · 上门的骗子
 · 客串售房代理人
 · 在美国路遇警察 (3)
 · 在美国路遇警察 (2)
 · 在美国路遇警察(1)
 · 我的两位英语老师 (下)
 · 我的两位英语老师 (上)
 · 为“吃”几番竟折腰
【忆海拾贝 1】
 · 忆海拾贝(9)--人贵在有自知之明(图
 · 忆海拾贝(8)--文革这样进入我的生活
 · 忆海拾贝(序)
 · 忆海拾贝(7)--千姿百态的保姆
 · 忆海拾贝(6)--幼儿园的日子
 · 忆海拾贝(5)--淘气的弟弟
 · 忆海拾贝(4)--大杂院的芸芸众生
 · 忆海拾贝(3)--慈爱姑姑
 · 忆海拾贝(2)--小小女孩要回家
 · 忆海拾贝(1)--我的外婆
【忆海拾贝 2】
 · 忆海拾贝(19)--福祸双依读小说
 · 忆海拾贝(18)--忆奶奶[姐妹篇]
 · 忆海拾贝(17)--少年不知愁滋味
 · 忆海拾贝(16)--什么是为人师表
 · 忆海拾贝(15)--回城上学
 · 忆海拾贝(14)--燕儿姐姐
 · 忆海拾贝(13)--文革举家走五七(下)
 · 忆海拾贝(12)--文革举家走五七(上)
 · 忆海拾贝(11)--琴,我的大嫂
 · 忆海拾贝(10)--亲历凶杀案
【忆海拾贝 3】
 · 忆海拾贝(上部完)--77年考大学(下)
 · 忆海拾贝(26)--77年考大学(上)
 · 忆海拾贝(25)--青年点:不舍猪倌
 · 忆海拾贝(24)--青年点:无泪爱歌
 · 忆海拾贝(23)--青年点:群架英雄
 · 忆海拾贝(22)--青年点:艰苦历练
 · 忆海拾贝(21)--文革时期的中学生
 · 忆海拾贝(20)--七十年代搞对象
【忆海拾贝 4】
 · 77级大学生活:毕业分配
 · 77级大学生活:考研始末
 · 77级大学生活:四年寒窗
 · 77级大学生活:生死之恋
 · 77级大学生活:寝室趣事
 · 77级大学生活:一字情书
 · 77级大学生活:抗食学潮(组图)
 · 77级大学生活:农场劳动
 · 77级大学生活:初入校门
【忆海拾贝 5】
 · 我的父亲母亲(3)
 · 我的父亲母亲(2)
 · 我的父亲母亲(1)
 · 练汉字
 · 忆海拾贝终结篇--踏出国门(下)
 · 忆海拾贝终结篇--踏出国门(上)
 · 养儿,方知父母恩
 · 忆海拾贝(39)--大学老师
 · 父母“包办”的婚姻
 · 怀念我的导师
【新忆海拾贝 1】
 · 忆海拾贝:文革这样进入我的生活
 · 忆海拾贝:二伯的经历
 · 忆海拾贝:快乐的孩提时代
 · 忆海拾贝:千姿百态的保姆
 · 忆海拾贝:幼儿园的日子
 · 忆海拾贝:淘气的弟弟
 · 忆海拾贝:大杂院的芸芸众生
 · 忆海拾贝:慈爱的姑姑
 · 忆海拾贝:小小女孩要回家
 · 忆海拾贝:我的外婆
【新忆海拾贝 2】
 · 忆海拾贝:文革时期的中学生
 · 忆海拾贝:福祸双依读小说
 · 忆海拾贝:忆奶奶【姐妹篇】
 · 忆海拾贝:少年不知愁滋味
 · 忆海拾贝:什么是为人师表
 · 忆海拾贝:回城上学
 · 忆海拾贝:七十年代搞对象
 · 忆海拾贝:燕儿姐姐
 · 忆海拾贝:举家走五七
 · 忆海拾贝:亲历凶杀案
【新忆海拾贝 3】
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--一字情书
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级-- 抗食学潮
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--农场劳动
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--初入校门
 · 忆海拾贝:好友妍平
 · 忆海拾贝:七七年考大学
 · 忆海拾贝:青年点--不舍猪倌
 · 忆海拾贝:青年点--无泪爱歌
 · 忆海拾贝:青年点--群架英雄
 · 忆海拾贝:青年点--艰苦历练
【新忆海拾贝 4】
 · 忆海拾贝:踏出国门(上)
 · 忆海拾贝:养儿,方知父母恩
 · 忆海拾贝:大学老师
 · 忆海拾贝:父母“包办”的婚姻
 · 忆海拾贝:怀念我的导师
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--毕业分配
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--考研始末
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--四年寒窗
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--生死之恋
 · 忆海拾贝:七七级--寝室趣事
【新忆海拾贝 5】
 · 三生三世同学情
 · 万维九年 《忆海拾贝》
 · 忆海拾贝--大伯,永远的绅士
 · 忆海拾贝:踏出国门-完结篇
【小说】
 · 获奖散文:冰糖葫芦
 · 获奖小说:《西嫁娘》
 · 姐妹花(完)
 · 姐妹花(4)
 · 姐妹花(3)
 · 姐妹花(2)
 · 姐妹花(1)
 · 初恋
【阳春白雪【诗词】】
 · 老公咏雪赋诗(外一首)
【女儿上大学】
 · 女儿上大学--“合家欢乐”庆毕业
 · 女儿上大学--“爱心深厚”做义工
 · 女儿上大学--“快乐无比”去跳舞
 · 女儿上大学--“千思百虑”选专业
 · 女儿上大学--“拳拳孝心”打电话
 · 女儿上大学--“勤工俭学” 爱劳动
 · 女儿上大学--“挑肥拣瘦” 交朋友
 · 女儿上大学--“初生牛犊” 选难课
 · 女儿上大学--“心惊肉跳” 吃洋饭
 · 女儿上大学--“一针见血” 译中文
【微博I】
 · 第二件广彩收藏品(图)
 · 我的第一件收藏品(图)
 · 百草园里的春天
 · 午夜惊魂(图)
 · 本周流水账(图)
 · 新年减肥记(微博)
 · 万花筒
 · 有点儿失落(微博)
 · 挣稿费了(微博)
【微博II】
 · 心情
【儿子上大学 II】
 · 儿子大学毕业
 · 儿子上大学(11) 美国孩子的打工和
 · 美国大学新生入学感触
【儿子上大学 I】
 · 大学新生家长周末(Family Weekend
 · 儿子上大学(9)放手让小鹰飞翔
 · 儿子上大学(8)初谈选专业
 · 儿子上大学(7)大学育儿也教母
 · 儿子上大学(6)大学室友
 · 儿子上大学(5)重新认识儿子
 · 儿子上大学(4)选课的挑战
 · 儿子上大学(3)初入校门
 · 儿子上大学(2)起飞之前
 · 儿子上大学(1)分享心灵鸡汤
【读书园地】
 · 推荐,《你若安好,便是晴天》
 · 新书《教育、还可以》深受欢迎
 · 不一样的作家,《挪威的森林》
 · 推荐给孩子的父母--《孩子你慢慢来
 · 《山楂树之恋》,世间有真爱
 · 推荐好书--《明朝那些事儿》
【申请大学】
 · 美国大学发榜,top大学录取率下降!
 · 在美国,申请大学三部曲--录取
 · 在美国,申请大学三部曲--申请
 · 在美国,申请大学三部曲--前奏
【老美的孩子们】
 · 俩姐妹,两命运—介绍美国孩子
 · 你的孩子开车吗?
 · Ron 的女儿上大学
【自画像】
 · 吝啬书奴
 · 爱看书
【旅游漫记(1)】
 · 东海岸游记:长木花园
 · Emergency Exit Only译文集锦
 · 东海岸游记:首都华盛顿
 · 东海岸游记:历史古都费城
 · 东海岸游记:不同凡响的纽约
 · 阿拉斯加Cruise旅游一点经验
 · 美哉,阿拉斯加 (2)
 · 美哉,阿拉斯加 (1)
【旅游漫记(2)】
 · 芝加哥一日游(吃,照片)
 · 芝加哥一日游(玩,照片)
 · 游海玩水—墨西哥Cancun行(3)
 · 美味佳肴--墨西哥Cancun行(2)
 · 冬日夏游--墨西哥Cancun行(1)
 · 犹他之花(3)--Zion国家公园
 · 犹他之花(2)--Bryce Canyon国家公
 · 犹他之花(1)--Arches国家公园
【旅游漫记(3)】
 · 飞向阳光,游玩迈阿密(下)
 · 飞向阳光,游玩迈阿密(上)
 · 特别回国游 - 难忘秀水街
 · 特别回国游 - 北京三日游
 · 特别回国游 - 故乡的亲情
 · 特别回国游 - 全家福专集
 · 特别回国游 - 英文旅游团
 · 佛州之旅:阳光海滩
 · 佛州之旅:美,色彩斑斓
 · 佛州之旅:遭遇热带风暴
【旅游漫记(4)】
 · 2016梦之旅(5)初游丹东
 · 2016梦之旅(4)回首知青
 · 2016梦之旅(3)中学聚会
 · 2016梦之旅(2)台北漫游
 · 2016梦之旅(1)祭悼外公
 · 鲜花烈日死亡谷
 · 滚滚红尘赌城行
 · 老友重逢,专访加州府
 · 浅尝豪饮,醉品纳帕谷
 · 光阴似箭,又见旧金山
【旅游漫记(5)】
 · 人间仙境,加斯珀国家公园(3)
 · 人间仙境,班芙路易斯湖 (2)
 · 人间仙境,班芙国家公园游 (1)
 · 绿湾城,身边的风景
【医学院】
 · 介绍医学院学习的经验 – by wowo
 · 如何迈进美国医学院的大门--天择续
 · 如何迈进美国医学院的大门(下)
 · 如何迈进美国医学院的大门(中)
 · 如何迈进美国医学院的大门(上)
【中国行 I】
 · 参加国内旅游团的一点体会
 · 盛夏骄阳西安行--明城墙、大雁塔、
 · 盛夏骄阳西安行--永泰公主墓、乾陵
 · 盛夏骄阳西安行--兵马俑、骊山、华
 · 又回故里 -- 舔犊父母心
 · 又回故里 -- 重游母校东大
 · 又回故里 -- 怀旧一日游
 · 在国内吃“包肥”(buffet)
 · 初次回国探亲记
【中国行II】
 · 回家过年
 · 无梦也要飞翔
 · 感叹,国内医院的管理(下)
 · 感叹,国内医院的管理(上)
【食谱 I】
 · 北京小吃: 豌豆黄(组图)
 · 老少中外皆宜的煎鸡片
 · 油条、豆浆(图及做法)
 · 牛筋煲萝卜、橄榄球(图)
 · 感恩节的家宴(组图,附烤火鸡秘方
 · 老中老外都爱的甜点--Trifle
 · 烤小红土豆(Roasted Red Potatoes
 · 酥皮点心(图)
 · 翠华排骨
 · 年糕
【食谱 II】
 · 东北小吃--豆腐脑的做法(组图)
 · 发面大饼来了!
 · 下酒小吃Crescent dog做法(图)
 · 胡萝卜蛋糕做法(图)
 · 辞旧迎新的party
 · 经典法式海蚌(Mussels)做法
【房地产故事】
 · 美国洋房梦(完)
 · 美国洋房梦(2)
 · 美国洋房梦(1)
 · 房地产小故事--警民合作,驱房客
 · 房地产小故事--左审右查,招房客
 · 房地产小故事--堤内损失,堤外补
 · 房地产小故事--有福同享,好朋友
【工作在美国 I】
 · 在美国上班二三事-- 今年的圣诞Par
 · 在美国上班二三事-- 猎人
 · 在美国上班二三事—— 读书班
 · 在美国上班二三事—— 好老板,坏老
 · 在美国上班二三事-- 开会
 · 在美国上班二三事—— 凑份子
 · 在美国上班二三事—— 老美过生日
 · 在美国上班二三事—— 卖年糕
【工作在美国 II】
 · 在美国找工作
 · 身在裁员风暴中
 · 感受不同的美国裁员风暴
 · 同事凯莉,追自己梦想
 · 同事瑞斯,要一份真情
 · 经济复苏的信号
 · 打扫键盘下面的卫生
 · 不用Internet的老美
【野营趣事】
 · 夏日野营 - 人“熊”较量 (图)
 · 夏日野营 - 浪里“逃”生 (图)
 · 夏日野营 - “抢”拍日出(图)
【开博有益I】
 · 四年与今天
 · 也给万维网管提一点小建议
 · 家宴致谢 写博三年
 · 开博两年,老公、朋友、和我的博客
 · 休博
 · 靓丽美眉,请入园登记
 · 开博一年 -- 写博N阶段(图)
 · 更名启事---百草园=欣岸
 · 开场白
【开博有益II】
 · 侃侃博客与微信
【春节快乐】
 · 大家都来抢红包!
 · 海外华人春晚(组图)
 · 美国小城华人春晚会(图)
 · 拜年红包的小故事(美国)
 · 咱们一起过春节
【圣诞节】
 · 家中的圣诞(组图)
 · 2009-家中的圣诞(图)
 · 送你一个银色的圣诞
 · 在美国上班二三事-- 圣诞 Parties
【转帖(I)】
 · 无价之宝的画--周五一笑
 · 耶鲁教授AmyChua《为什么中国妈妈这
 · 帮我买个单 ---中国社会结构缩影
 · 一样的历史 不一样的历史--我读《麻
 · 周五一笑:中国怎能不强大(外一篇
 · 我们热爱计算机-Computer Addicts(
 · 漫画笑话(组图)
 · 别在网上表错情(ZT)
 · 笑话(ZT)-祝大家周末开心
 · 2009一学生高考牛文曝光 (ZT)
【转帖(II)】
 · 美国实力最强的十所私立高中
 · 5分钟学会最潮的25种围巾系法
 · 关于女人男人(转帖,不黄)
 · 佳文共享--The Cab Ride
【左邻右舍】
 · 今年的美城大游行(图)
 · 美城大游行
 · 信箱
 · 我的美国芳邻们
存档目录
11/01/2019 - 11/30/2019
03/01/2019 - 03/31/2019
02/01/2019 - 02/28/2019
01/01/2019 - 01/31/2019
12/01/2018 - 12/31/2018
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10/01/2018 - 10/31/2018
09/01/2018 - 09/30/2018
06/01/2018 - 06/30/2018
05/01/2018 - 05/31/2018
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02/01/2018 - 02/28/2018
12/01/2017 - 12/31/2017
11/01/2017 - 11/30/2017
10/01/2017 - 10/31/2017
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07/01/2017 - 07/31/2017
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12/01/2014 - 12/31/2014
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08/01/2014 - 08/31/2014
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03/01/2014 - 03/31/2014
02/01/2014 - 02/28/2014
01/01/2014 - 01/31/2014
12/01/2013 - 12/31/2013
09/01/2013 - 09/30/2013
08/01/2013 - 08/31/2013
07/01/2013 - 07/31/2013
06/01/2013 - 06/30/2013
05/01/2013 - 05/31/2013
04/01/2013 - 04/30/2013
03/01/2013 - 03/31/2013
02/01/2013 - 02/28/2013
01/01/2013 - 01/31/2013
12/01/2012 - 12/31/2012
11/01/2012 - 11/30/2012
09/01/2012 - 09/30/2012
08/01/2012 - 08/31/2012
07/01/2012 - 07/31/2012
06/01/2012 - 06/30/2012
05/01/2012 - 05/31/2012
04/01/2012 - 04/30/2012
03/01/2012 - 03/31/2012
02/01/2012 - 02/29/2012
01/01/2012 - 01/31/2012
12/01/2011 - 12/31/2011
11/01/2011 - 11/30/2011
10/01/2011 - 10/31/2011
09/01/2011 - 09/30/2011
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07/01/2011 - 07/31/2011
06/01/2011 - 06/30/2011
05/01/2011 - 05/31/2011
04/01/2011 - 04/30/2011
03/01/2011 - 03/31/2011
02/01/2011 - 02/28/2011
01/01/2011 - 01/31/2011
12/01/2010 - 12/31/2010
11/01/2010 - 11/30/2010
10/01/2010 - 10/31/2010
09/01/2010 - 09/30/2010
08/01/2010 - 08/31/2010
07/01/2010 - 07/31/2010
06/01/2010 - 06/30/2010
05/01/2010 - 05/31/2010
04/01/2010 - 04/30/2010
03/01/2010 - 03/31/2010
02/01/2010 - 02/28/2010
01/01/2010 - 01/31/2010
12/01/2009 - 12/31/2009
11/01/2009 - 11/30/2009
10/01/2009 - 10/31/2009
09/01/2009 - 09/30/2009
08/01/2009 - 08/31/2009
07/01/2009 - 07/31/2009
06/01/2009 - 06/30/2009
05/01/2009 - 05/31/2009
04/01/2009 - 04/30/2009
03/01/2009 - 03/31/2009
02/01/2009 - 02/28/2009
01/01/2009 - 01/31/2009
12/01/2008 - 12/31/2008
11/01/2008 - 11/30/2008
网络日志正文
耶鲁教授AmyChua《为什么中国妈妈这样出色》 2011-01-13 18:26:55

在这里贴耶鲁教授Amy Chua的这篇文章,论述和对比中国妈妈和美国家庭对孩子的教育方式。

 

她讲的有一些道理,但我无法完全赞同,尤其是在描述中国家庭对待孩子的方式上,我认为是她自己的经历,代表一些中国家庭的倾向,不能一概而论。

 

   我的一个美国同事,今天把这篇文章的link送给了我。为此她还跟我认真地讨论了,关于中国妈妈如何教育孩子的问题。非常可悲,美国人现在认为Amy笔下的中国妈妈,代表了我们全体中国妈妈。诸不知,这就是Amy本人的成长经过,或者她截取的一些个例,根本无法代表所有中国妈妈。

 

  

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

 

By AMY CHUA

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests.

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

I've thought long and hard about how Chinese parents can get away with what they do. I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets.

First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western parent will most likely praise the child. The Chinese mother will gasp in horror and ask what went wrong. If the child comes home with a B on the test, some Western parents will still praise the child. Other Western parents will sit their child down and express disapproval, but they will be careful not to make their child feel inadequate or insecure, and they will not call their child "stupid," "worthless" or "a disgrace." Privately, the Western parents may worry that their child does not test well or have aptitude in the subject or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and possibly the whole school. If the child's grades do not improve, they may eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's credentials.

If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.

By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.

Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children. It's just an entirely different parenting model.

Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.

Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.

"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.

"You can't make me."

"Oh yes, I can."

Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that.

Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.

"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."

Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire" and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua.

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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 16:24:37
欢笑,这个话题很大,其实,我们无法否认,中国家庭是非常注重孩子的教育和培养,做父母的倾注了精力和开支,都是望子成龙。这点是比美国人要强。可我们不是像AmyChua说的那样的暴力、压迫型的父母,她的文章的叙述太过激。
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作者:华欢笑 留言时间:2011-01-14 13:55:25
谢谢ZT这篇文章,看过有关报道,但是没有引起我的注意。通读了你转载的这篇文章,Amy的育儿观,教育观旗帜鲜明,个人认为还是有一定代表性;但是绝对代表不了中国母亲。不否认,Amy是一个受过良好教育,一个很有个性的知识女强人。我不完全赞成她的观点,对孩子的教育,管理有些太苛刻,过于严厉了。对于教育的成功与否,每个人的目标不一样,也很难下定义。文章有些自我陶醉,自我感觉良好的成分。这是一个大的辩论题目,几句话很难讲清楚。感谢转载。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 10:09:11
夏子,找到了中译文,请看海云的博客。
“http://blog.creaders.net/Beautyinautumn/user_blog_diary.php?did=77251”
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 10:02:50
好吃,Amy自己好像并不觉得她折磨了孩子,或者被折磨过。去看看她和女儿们的照片,美滋滋地弹琴拉琴呢。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:56:44
夏子,我也不知道Amy的文章中译文在哪儿,帮你问一下。

请知道AmyChua文章译文的博友,告诉一下那篇文章的链接。多谢!
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:50:47
冬儿,大家一起写反驳的文章好吗?
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:49:39
五彩,俺琢磨半天,不知道Chua是啥字,原来Amy姓蔡。唉,像皇城说的太功利了。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:47:29
在水,问题在于,Amy的书和文章现在风靡美国,给华人造成很大的影响。老美们纷纷认为,我们就是这样压制孩子的。跟我讨论这篇文章的老美,由此,还推广至其他的事情,昨天我花了半个小时,让这个老美明白,这只是个例。不知道我们如何让全体老美明白,这只是Amy家庭的情况。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:43:16
皇城,你的问题问的好,这恐怕只有Amy才能回答你了。不过我的理解,Amy本人和她教育孩子的方式就是如此,如果你去这篇文章的出处,“http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read#articleTabs_comments”
你会看到Amy及她的两个女儿在弹钢琴,拉小提琴。她以自己的一己之见,居然推广至全体中国家庭!
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-14 09:37:54
琴韵,非常赞同你的提议,我本来是想收集一些资料,反驳一下这个有狭隘偏见的Amy,现在想是否大家开始一个共同的讨论,一起跟这个Amy讨论一下,真正中国家庭教育孩子的方式,不是Chua的方式。
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作者:好吃 留言时间:2011-01-14 06:19:52
这个Amy是个病态的女人,折磨自己的孩子, 还把中国妈妈给Stereotype了,
其实给孩子自由空间的中国妈妈也很多。
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作者:夏子 留言时间:2011-01-14 01:10:54
雨露说:“前两天万维网还转载了她文章的中文翻译呢”,不知在哪儿?
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作者:老冬儿 留言时间:2011-01-14 00:02:18
读了前几段,这家的孩子好可怜哦。
是得有人出来为中国妈妈正名。
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作者:五彩 留言时间:2011-01-13 23:51:26
咱中国妈妈是优越,但不是像蔡美儿那样的"优越", 就当长见识了。
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作者:在水一方 留言时间:2011-01-13 23:13:31
这种文章就像前几年国内出过一本书,好像是叫<我是怎样培养孩子进哈佛>一样很没无聊.中国妈妈注意培养孩子是不假,但大多数没像Amy Chua写的那样,这只能说是她自己的育儿经,不代表是大家都如此吧.
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作者:皇城根儿 留言时间:2011-01-13 23:07:33
显然,那位耶鲁华人妈妈对成功的理解是很功利的。功利原则不是不可以,比竟这是社会评价所谓成功的原则,如果她也是从社会功利的焦点出发。其实扪心自问一下自己,多数中的我们不都是从功利的角度评价一个人的社会成功吗?

读者以为,无论干什么,如果从训练意志的角度出发,家长对孩子的某种限制行为可以理解。但读者总是无法理解的是,为什么这个限制一定是从“弹钢琴”这类“俗”得不能再俗的方式开始。如果自己的有限经历和无能无法给自己的子女找到一个锻炼意志的最好和最有效的方式,那也只能说这位家长对成功的理解和训练方式即便是从功利的角度出发,也是很俗的那一种。

由此读者不由得出这样一个疑问,在国人成功的概念里,即使从功利的角度出发,多数也都是那种自以为很阳春白雪的“大俗” --- 附庸风雅---呢?
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作者:琴韵 留言时间:2011-01-13 22:55:09
建议哪位在美国的高手再写一篇驳击 Amy 的文章发表一下,为中国妈妈正名。中国妈妈是优秀的,是出色的,但不是 Amy 笔下的老虎样儿!
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 21:45:24
木兰,看来大家的观点一样,这篇炒作的文章,不能代表中国家庭,只是可悲的是,现在美国人都认为这是我们的孩子们上好大学,取得好成绩的原因。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 21:40:36
雨露,我这几天就一心写我的《忆海拾贝》,除了看了一些朋友的博文,没怎么逛万维,今天这篇文章砸到我头上,才发现大家都在讨论这个话题,所以干脆贴出原文来。实在不是对国人褒奖的文章。
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作者:木兰 留言时间:2011-01-13 21:08:28
我也是不太看得下去,我想也许她的原意是孩子需要管教,不能任其为所欲为吧。但是口气和态度都像是管理机器人似的。假如她的孩子进了个天才班什么的,还能是第一吗?
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 21:05:35
枫苑梦客,我今天就感觉到非常难堪,因为这个给我link的老美,我们几天前还在讲两家孩子今年申请大学的事情。现在,就是我的儿子能进好大学,她也会认为是我们暴力压迫孩子的结果。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 21:02:39
转悠,你还敢不往下读,小心错过教育孩子的高招!:)
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作者:雨露 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:37:07
百草,

很热门的话题。 前两天万维网还转载了她文章的中文翻译呢。
其实,据我所知,家里有条件的美国妈妈,对孩子的培养和要求一点不比所谓的“中国妈妈”低。 而且,他们对孩子有很多规定, 多是做人方式方面的。我可以感觉到,这样被约束出来的孩子,当着大人一套,背着又是一套。。。很会做表面文章。总之, 跟他们相比,我看我更像Amy说的“美国妈妈".
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作者:枫苑梦客 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:35:32
百草,

我相信不少中国母亲对这样“被代表”会感到委屈,甚至不满。我认为那篇文章有夸张的成分,目的是为了强调到极端,以便制造轰动效应。现在看来这个目的是达到了。不过作者说那不是她的本意。可以想象以后中国母亲们见到老外可能要费些解释的功夫了。
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作者:转悠 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:34:12
就读了前面几段,就没再接着读。。。觉得好像和自己关系不大,呵呵。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:28:54
春阳,我是试了两遍,才把这篇文章读完的。Amy的一个理念我赞同,孩子很小的时候,不能完全听他们的,父母要给予一定的引导。但像她描述的,中国妈妈完全是可怕的暴君、独裁了,太偏激了。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:25:33
桑妮,问题就在这儿,美国人现在就认为所有的中国家庭都是这样push孩子的。我得到这篇文章是从美国同事手里(也是一个孩子妈妈),她还认真地找我谈孩子的教育问题,让人哭笑不得。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:22:47
怡然,非常赞同你的观点,这个Amy是在炒作。不过以这种方式来搞红自己,有一点让人无法接受。
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作者:百草园 留言时间:2011-01-13 20:20:14
老木, 跟你有一样的感觉。某些事情,中国家长是比美国家长管的严一点,但Amy写的,难让人赞同。

知道吗,我们最后悔的是,没让孩子从小就参加Drama club!
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作者:春阳 留言时间:2011-01-13 19:54:48
我觉得这女人就是个疯子。同意老木,我一看到这不准,那不准,就觉得那俩孩子到她家真是误入歧途啊。我的孩子们把那些不准都做了。我女儿也到林肯中心,卡内基音乐厅弹过琴,得过奖,可是能说明什么呢?她成功啦?我成功啦?后来我女儿不弹琴了,就不成功了?
人生是一条长长的路,怎么能说孩子得个什么奖,上个什么名校就算成功呢? 虚荣,无聊的虚荣!还出色呢?(不好意思,我很少见过这么无。, 无。,无。,。。的人。)
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作者:桑妮 留言时间:2011-01-13 19:11:10
在这个妈妈眼里,我这样的妈妈大概非常非常失败,她不许孩子做的事我的孩子都在做。

有个中国朋友娶了个白人太太,那太太和家人安排了个中国式的婚礼,其间许多礼仪是这个朋友和在场所有中国朋友从未听说过的。我想那是白人心目中的中国婚礼,和真正的中国婚礼无关。

这个中国妈妈在美国长大,嫁给美国人,她写的中国妈妈是她理解的中国妈妈,好像和我这样的中国妈妈无关。

她的文章引来有许多反面意见,许多反面意见来自中国妈妈和亚裔妈妈。好想赞同的不多。
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作者:怡然 留言时间:2011-01-13 19:09:47
百草:
Amy Chua 的新书《Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother》里,更详细地阐述了她的教育理念。其实我觉得她是在借媒体炒作新书,当然现在是最佳时机,正赶上美国教育界上上下下改革的呼声甚高。
谢谢你的转贴。
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作者:新中国木乃伊 留言时间:2011-01-13 18:50:51
I only read the first a couple of paragraphs .. such as "Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

...."

Forgive me, but she feels like a maniac ... (Sorry.)
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