父亲是2012年元月二日下午5时走的。他在世时，我们很少相聚， 也从未亲近过。因他对我动辄打骂，我从小怕他，进而由害怕生厌恶，由厌恶生蔑视，一生都觉得他不是个正常父亲。可是，自他去世後，我每次想到他，都倍感他亲切可敬，每次都眼泪转角。我理解， 这便是人间亲情。我用英文写过上十首诗专门纪念他，大概因情真意切，都被较为著名的英文文学杂 发表过。
日前在网上浏览，偶然发现以下这首诗竟然获美国著名文学杂 《莫比尔诗刊》提名为全美著名“小推车”文学奖2012年候选诗，虽最终未能获奖，足已令人欣慰。现将原诗及中文译文贴出，可为分享，也为存档，更为对亡父的怀念。
Kinship: For Yuan Hongqi
Yes, we are father and son, but so often
Did I doubt this simple small biofact:
We could never say more than three short
Sentences to each other when we met, nor
Did we meet more than three times per year
Before I managed to flee a thousand miles
Away from you, and later ten thousand away
From your village on this world's other side
Like other Chinese fathers, you never said
You loved me, gave me a hug, or touched me
Unless it was a cutting pinch in the arm
Or a heavy hit on the butt, (always in surprise)
While my peers kept bragging aloud
About their great fathers, grandfathers
I looked down upon you, not because of
Your slight stature, but because of your
Smaller personality, constantly calling you
"A Buddha outside, a Devil at home"
(Of course behind your back), so I used to
Feel guilty, fearing I could never shed
Any teardrops when you die, just as every
True Confucian son is supposed to
Unlike me and my son, with a big store of
Co-memories ready to share, to cherish
We were born enemies, karma-determined
In our former lives, just as you had explained
To my mother, (who would be busy filling
In each new crack on our wall, with a big pail
Of muddy mixture every time we met)
Yet ever since your death at the dawn of 2012
I have been haunted by your image, kindly
Smiling, and even sobbed my heart out
While dreaming last night: are you there, Dad?
[First published in Mobius: The Poetry Magazine]
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我一共5次被提名获美国著名“小推车”文学奖。以下顺便贴出存档∶∶
1. "Kinship: for Yuan Hongqi." nominated by Mobius for a Pushcart Prize for 2012 [链接link:: http://www.mobiuspoetry.com/prizeawards.htm];
2. "SAWS: A Seasonal Poem," nominated by Wilderness House Literary Review for a Pushcart prize for 2011. [链接 link:: http://www.fictionaut.com/forums/general/threads/1448];
3. "Word Collage: A Democratic Poem," nominated by Carcinogenic Poetry (Virgogray Press) for a Puschcart prize for 2010. [链接 link:: http://virgograypress.com/2010/11/25/2010-virgogray-press-pushcart-prize-nominees/];
4. "S. E. W. N," nominated by Blue Fifth Review for a Pushcart Prize for 2009. [链接 http://samofthetenthousandthings.blogspot.com/2009/11/bfrs-pushcart-nominations.html]. Also, originally published by BFR, my poem "Last Single Sale" was selected for inclusion in Best New Poems Online;
5. "Chansons of a Chinaman," nominated by my first poetry book publisher Leaf Garden Press for a Pushcart Prize for 2009. [链接 link:: http://leafgardenpress.blogspot.com/].
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