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洛基山人
注册日期: 2010-05-12
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最新发布
· 过河拆桥
· 攘外必先安内
· 两害相权取其轻
· 问题的 制造者 辩论 如何 解决
· Kennedy and Trump (einmusik)
· 民主党全代会
· 命犯桃花 到 血光之灾
友好链接
分类目录
【Essay】
· 过河拆桥
· 攘外必先安内
· 两害相权取其轻
· 问题的 制造者 辩论 如何 解决
· Kennedy and Trump (einmusik)
· 民主党全代会
· 命犯桃花 到 血光之灾
· 久违了 巴黎
· 美国总统
· Morals of an alleycat .
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用户名: 密码: 您还不是博客/论坛用户?现在就注册!
     
评论:
七律【读‘贺兰’‘ 风月’‘雪葵’咏琴诗后】
   

 

      读过三位诗友‘咏大作,凑上一首,我虽也爱写几句歪诗,但并不懂平仄,朋友说可以上网查,一查才知道,此诗有多处问题,就没敢贴,但自己又不是什么真诗人,何必那样高标准呢。再说也不能‘以律害意’。首联‘客郢城’的‘郢’字出律,要和白雪声’对仗,不好改。颈联‘贺’字出律,但贺兰兄的网名也不能改,尾联,网上说‘濯’字不合平仄,‘濯缨’古人在七律中常用。我用有何不可。贺兄、曹兄、月兄等、都是律诗行家,望指教一二。

 

                 移宫换羽客郢城,流水高山白雪声。
                 始信知音清水许、华亭唳鹤任琴横。
                 山姿皎皎贺兰璧,素质亭亭风月情。
                 兼有曹兄歌大吕,沧浪一笑便濯缨

 

     附三家大作

                    贺兰山】

       柴门初扫旧封尘,掀卷残帘待客真。

      台案横琴切切意,霞边来雁拳拳心。

      登山峰险才称景,践志藏魔可卧薪。

      交友云游园夙梦,同行当是有缘人。

 

                    【曹雪葵】

                 苍天自古妒贤圣,得翼失足磨苦心。

               才瞽仙声师子野,又聋绝调贝多芬。
                焦桐总负斯文怨,属镂常伐壮士魂。

                    叔夜真通忘筌意,广陵今日有传人

                   

                  【风月】

 

               焦桐何处觅知音, 蔡氏沉沙大漠深。

              明月清风三弄曲, 高山流水万愁心。
             阳春白雪谁呼和, 下里巴人独自喑。 

            昨听子期寒夜去, 伯牙弦绝不横琴

 

     风月兄这首[沁园春】堪称精品

焦桐疏音,关山冷月,萧瑟湘灵。是溪间泉水,清清切切;楚天云岫,袅袅娉婷。松竹和弦,梅花有约,千里原驰胡马鸣。切弦处、似玉盘珠落,树里啼莺。  空城一调谁擎,纵司马万军琴自横。听胡笳谁奏,渔樵无语;广陵谁抚,白雪无凭。易水萧萧,旌旗猎猎,玉殒香消天地崩。泠泠遍、把今怀古事,尽付琴筝。 [沁园春: 古琴]

 


 
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