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是骡子是马拉出来遛遛-你真的英语好吗?(你就是我的老师)
   

毕业于英美文学和语言系快三十年,从来没有翻译过长点任何东西。现在朋友要开展览,赶鸭子上架。


我记起许多网友都认为自己英文棒,我决定找个老师 - 看看您是否有真本事?


正是因为我怕翻坏了,所以我从不敢翻译我的《论范例》!但如果你真有英文本事,我也许还真考虑请你 - 多少稿费? 有一天,我相信,《论范例》会人手一册的。


谢谢,

董亚维



=======================


Why Do We Need To Draw?

- On My Illustrations of Eva's Book "The Great Famine of China"

I have seen Eva only in her photos - so far. In 2012, Eva sent me her prose collection, "My hometown - countryside village". With strokes of her pen, her birth place was in a way materialized meandering  the earth on the yellow plateau of the Northwest of China - as if with your hand picking up any piece of dirt at will you could form a yellow figure standing in front of you. Writing about stories of those ups and downs of the lives in her hometown village, I was informed later, especially about the generation of her mother's, after she came back from America.  When I heard of that her mother was once a homeless in street, I was shocked - because I knew well while I shoot the news brief "Blazing Star", many women escaped from the west of Guansu Province to the Shanxi Province in order to survive by marriage in the later period of " The Movement of Great Leap Forward" - and Eva's mother was one of them. Due to this event probably, Eva could have touched the silenced period of 1959-1961, "The Great Famine Of China" , with her heart. Unlike the rest of us, she did not stop here but bravely following the trail of her mother's past when her mother was only a girl, and uncovered the hidden history of that period. Undoubtedly, it is not hard to imagine her sharpened sensitivity girdled with the basic concept of human rights due to years of living in America, when once more she re-entered the mythical land of hers in the past.

By the end of year 2013, Eva sent me a letter informing me that she would publish a book on the "Great Famine of China" and asked if I would like to provide some illustrations? “I will give a try”, I told her. My reply was based on the fact that I was already familiar with this theme of the "Great Famine in China". It goes back to the period of 1999 when I shoot the documentary of "Lin Zhao". In those days of interviewing locals, I realized that so-called "The Three Years of Natural Disaster" is NO disaster at all -  it is purely out of "humans" manipulation and it is entirely a tragedy caused by the political movements then: “The General Line,The People's Commune, The Great Leap Forward". A few years later, I myself made the same theme by a peasant named "Wu, Yong Quan" in the Guangshan County, Henan Province, as a documentary, recorded this event of "The Great Famine of China". Mr. Wu built a memorial for the 74 peopled starved to death in the year of 1959 - more than half of the entire population of 130 in the village at that time. Till today, it is still the ONLY memorial for those thousand of millions of people who died of "The Great Famine of China" all over China in the 3-year period. Over the years, in my interviews along the provinces of Anhui, Yunnan, Gansu, Sichun, Liaoning, etc., emerged in my head, not only by the textual data, by listening to the narration of interviewers, picture after picture of those unbearable images looms large in my memory, as a professional painter, while still making documentaries, I kept constant sketching of those events without knowing when I can actually use them for the best possible occasions.


Only after Eva sent me the 15 text paragraphs of her book for illustration did I realize then that the best  media to utilize those sketches is in the form of woodcut, which resulted in the initially current of 15 pieces of them. As best as I can possibly attempt with those paintings, it is still very hard to convince even myself whether or not this kind of art form being capable of thoroughly recalling those memories suffered through actual starvation and the terrifying periods of excruciating pains endured by the public then, neither being capable of lessening the writer's psychological torture for herself, due to the limitation in this form of art. Nonetheless, it is my belief that there must exist a channel connecting individual sensation with collective memories. Eva wrote like this:

"My sister in-law passed her night under a neighbor's roof of their house outside and woke up at daybreak to see her brother finally coming here to receive her: 'how come you are so late....?" which she assembled enough strength to utter while ending her last breath.  As another case, a little boy under the name of Wei Fu-lian ran out of home in order to survive from starvation by catching a train, but not being able to get in. As a result, he put his arm through the door handle of the car and clenched his thumb finger with his teeth tightly to prevent himself from falling under the train. More like these appeared in my interviews, such as babies biting dying mother's breasts searching for milk etc.  Various local dialects spoken from a multitude of countryside villages echoed the same proofs of those hunger related events.


More than ten thousand years have passed since drawing which accompanied humans all the way along has witnessed the visiccitudes of its modern various schools, what, however, is its inner most aesthetic strength? How shall we be able to reveal our deeply felt shock of reality? In my interviews, many so- called "Rightist Intellectuals" became numb when being violated themselves or ubiquitous violence surrounds them while their friends were decimated. They were put into such environment for hard-laborers undergoing brain-washing to implement a "change of outlook" . Anybody being capable of thinking for himself was terminated from hunger, violence, or physical hard labor. All words pronounced from them are pieces of paper from former friend's betrayals, or such "self-criticisms". All their drawings  are either political propaganda for the "Great Leap Forward" with those masters smiling to their heart-content,  or stack at the back of their former colleges.

Drawing for what? Once a "Rightist" told me after experienced such mental agony of "death" but survived eventually: "While the moment came I knew I was dying, my whole body showed a serene peace without slightest disturbance of physical hurting. All sensation had left body so the death of starvation was faced with a smile leaving this world." Drawing for what? I heard repeatedly such stories in my interviews: when passing a dying mother, the baby was still sucking milk crawling on the her bosom.  How to engrave such kind of psychological trauma?   The editor of "Blazing Star" expressed his feeling with his heart-felt words and recorded texts, with dignified speeches seeking justice in court. When Eva's little far-relative Wei Fu-Lian clenching his thumb with his teeth while hinging himself outside of that train car to avoid falling off, it reaches the limit of human capability as an animal seeking survival - how to express this kind of critical situation in drawing? For those who died of hunger, from children of countryside to the civil intellectual rightists, what is the base color of drawing? Starved to death, terrified of starvation and feeling helpless out of deep depression - what base color is able to describe them?  As the old man Wu Yong-kuan concluded: "There exists, no longer, a human society". Fearing and death have turned human's value judgment upside down.

Drawing is a sketch of one's heart all of which is the grammatical future tense of would have done.  This series of woodcuts reflects my exploration of how to reach the bottom of actual lives with this art form. Incidentally, the historian of art Mr. Li Gong-ming's selection of this outpost hall in Xiaozhou village of Guangdong Province, as my exhibition place, is, my take,  particularly meaningful - it is this place in the year of 1959,  the leashing out of the political movement of "Anti Hiding Production Quantity", then initialed from here,  Guangdong Province, spreading all over the rest of China, the so-called "experience", which eventually leads massive population to the engulfing destiny of starvation of death.

(draft)

===========

绘画何为?——关于依娃这本书的插图


到目前为止,我只是在照片上见过依娃。2012年,依娃给我寄来了她的散文集《我的乡村》,把她生长的黄土高原那沟沟坎坎写的很有质感,像是在田埂上拾起一块土坷垃,用手随性随心刻凿一下,就呈现出一个黄土色的人。后来知道她从美国又回到了家乡的沟沟坎坎里,写她母亲那辈子人的故事。当我听她说,她母亲是个乞丐的时候我心里一震,我在拍摄《星火》的时候知道,在大跃进的后期,甘肃陇西地区有很多妇女逃荒去了陕西省,在那里只要嫁个人都可以活下来。而依娃的妈妈就是逃亡中的一位。也许,正是这个缘故,她触摸到了1959年到1961年中国当代史上沉默的大饥饿。然而,依娃与众不同的是,她没有就此而止,而是勇敢独自前行,她沿着母亲还是大姑娘时的逃荒路线去实地采访。可以想象,一个生活在美国并有了基本人权意识的她,再次融入那片传说着神秘故事的黄土地时,她的不同情感。


依娃在2013年底的一次来信中说,她要出一部关于大饥荒的书了。问我可不可以为此画插图,我回信说可以试试。我这样的回答是因为,在此之前我也接触到了大饥荒。那是我在1999年拍摄寻找林昭这部纪录片时。在采访中,我逐渐知道了"三年自然灾害"不是来自"自然",而是一场惨烈的人祸。来自那场总路线、人民公社、大跃进的运动。后来我拍摄了河南光山县一位农民老伯吴永宽的纪录片,他为全村74位在1959年冬饿死的村民修建了纪念碑。而当时他的村庄只有130几人,饿死一半人还多。需要强调的是,这块纪念碑至今仍是神州大地上,为三年人为灾祸而饿死的上千万同袍所修建的唯一一块纪念碑。后来,我走访了安徽、云南、甘肃、四川、辽宁等地。随着采访的深入,在我眼前展现的不仅是文字资料,听到的不仅是被采访者的述说,还有在脑子中出现的一幅幅惨烈场景,作为一个职业的画家,我也不断在本子上画着一些草图。当时我找到了用纪录片的表达方式,但面对这些草图,我却没有找到如何用绘画语言表达这样思维。

后来依娃给我发来了15段插图的文字,这成了这组绘画的出发点。我用木刻版画的形式进行了表达。尽管这些绘画无法抵达依娃的疼痛和这些具体人的饥饿与恐怖,我也常怀疑绘画这样的局限性和表达公共记忆可能性,甚至怀疑绘画本身。依娃的文字是这样的:如,嫂子在人家家屋檐下睡了一个晚上,对来接她的哥说:"你怎么才来接我?"就咽下最后一口气。又如14岁的魏连福扒火车去逃荒,却进不了车厢,只有挂在车厢外面胳膊从把手里伸过来,用牙齿紧紧地咬住大拇指头,以防掉下去等等,还有那在吃着死去母亲奶的孩子等等,这些都是我在采访中相遇的,只是在中国大地不同的村庄由那些操着不同乡音的老乡们见证的事情。

绘画已经和人类共同走过上万年,近代各种流派又缤纷而过,但绘画本身的美学力量是什么?那震颤我们心灵的现实怎样才能表达。我在采访中,有很多右派知识分子,他们面对身边的暴力和对他们自身的暴力,面对难友的一个个死亡似乎已经麻木。他们劳作在改造思想的工地上,有思想的人已经被暴力、劳累、饥饿所消灭。我见到的文字是揭发难友的纸条、是自我检查,见到的绘画是颂扬大跃进的宣传画、是那些大师们画的喜笑颜开和揭发批判自己同伴的漫画。绘画何为?有一位死过一次的右派告诉我:当自己饿死的时候,整个身体很平静,甚至没有痛苦。大脑已经没有思想了。饿死的人是面带微笑的。绘画何为?这是我不止一次听过的故事:当走过一个已经饿死的母亲时,看到孩子还趴在母亲的尸体上吮吸着母亲的乳头。那个心里的疼痛怎样表达。《星火》里的向承鉴是用决绝的文章和记录的文字表达的,是用在法庭上义正词严的怒斥表达的。伊娃的那个小亲戚魏连福,身体悬挂在列车的车厢外,为了不使自己掉下去,他咬着自己的手指,这是人类求生的极限。绘画可以画出魏连福的生存极限吗?那些死去的,从农村的孩子到劳教的知识分子的底色画的出来吗?那是一个什么样的底色?饥饿、恐惧、精神沉沦是什么底色?按照吴永宽老人的话说:"那已经没有社会了"。恐怖和死亡已经彻底改变了价值的标准。

绘画,是心灵的草图。所有的绘画都是心灵的未完成时。这组木刻版画我对自己提出的美学方向是现场的深切性。这次,美术史家李公明先生选定了广东省的小洲村这个1959年人民公社时期的老礼堂作为我的版画展的场地,我想有其深刻的含义,因为1959年广东在大跃进的过程中,率先提出“反瞒产”,并把这个经验推向全国,把挣扎在饥饿中的农民推向了死亡深渊。


2014年1月于中国南京



 
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