STEPHEN: MR.PRESIDENT, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SIR.
史蒂芬：總統先生，很高興又見到你了。
OBAMA: STEPHEN …
奧巴馬：史蒂芬…
STEPHEN: ALWAYS THE BEST.
史蒂芬：頂級的。
OBAMA: HOW DO YOU GET IN HERE?
奧巴馬：你是怎麼進這裡來的？
STEPHEN: OH, JUST – YOU KNOW, I’M ALWAYS – INTERESTED IN TALKING TO THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. LOOK, I AM SO THRILLED TO JOIN YOU HERE AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY AND THE STUDENTS OUT THERE TAKE PART IN THE WHITE HOUSE FRONTIERS CONFERENCE. YOU TOO WILL SOON BE LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB. ISN’T THAT INTERESTING?
STEPHEN: AND I AM HONORED THAT YOU ASKED ME HERE TO HELP.
史蒂芬：很榮幸你求我給你幫忙。
OBAMA: STEPHEN, I DIDN’T ASK YOU HERE FOR HELP. I STILL DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GOT IN HERE.
奧巴馬：史蒂芬，我沒有求你幫忙。我還是弄不清，你到底是怎麼進到這裡的？
STEPHEN: IT’S OKAY TO BE NERVOUS, ALL RIGHT? WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A SEAT?
史蒂芬：你那麼緊張是可以理解的。你坐下來好不好。
OBAMA: I’M ALREADY SEATING.
奧巴馬：我坐着呢。
STEPHEN: GOOD.
史蒂芬：那就好。
OBAMA: HUH…
奧巴馬：呵…
STEPHEN: SEE IT’S STARTING OFF VERY WELL ALREADY, AND I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD START WITH A PRACTICE INTERVIEW AND I’VE GOT JUST THE MAN WHO CAN HELP. EXCUSE ME JUST FOR A SECOND.
STEPHEN: ALL RIGHT. THIS IS GOING TO GO VERY WELL.
史蒂芬：很好，一切都會很順利。
OBAMA: ARE YOU …
奧巴馬：你是 …
STEPHEN: OKAY.
史蒂芬：好了。
OBAMA: ARE YOU INTENDING TO HELP ME SHARPEN MY SKILLS WHEN I GO IN FOR AN INTERVIEW? IS THAT YOUR INTENTION HERE?
奧巴馬：你是打算幫我改進我應付招聘應試的能力。這是你來這裡的目的？
STEPHEN: IT’S WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING.
史蒂芬：我是吃這碗飯的。
OBAMA: OKAY.
奧巴馬：明白了。
STEPHEN: WE’RE HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO FOR A LIVING, OKAY?
史蒂芬：我們要找出你將來怎樣討生活的路，好嗎？
OBAMA: OKAY, LET’S TRY IT OUT.
奧巴馬：好，那我們就試試。
STEPHEN: 55, TOUGH TIME TO START OVER FOR A MAN. OKAY. I HAVE A COPY OF YOUR RESUME HERE. WHY DON’T YOU HAND IT TO ME AS IF YOU WERE APPLYING FOR A JOB? GO AHEAD AND DO IT.
STEPHEN: CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS? AND KEEP IN MIND IT’S IMPORTANT TO DESCRIBE THEM IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT HIGHLIGHTS HOW YOUR EXPERIENCE MIGHT BE RELEVANT TO A POTENTIAL EMPLOYER.
史蒂芬：你能告訴我你都有那些業績？記住了，講述時把亮點放在與將來工作有關的經驗上。
OBAMA: OKAY, WELL I BROKERED INTERNATIONAL DEALS THAT SLOWED THE IMPACT OF CLIMATE CHANGE AND PREVENTED IRAN FROM ACQUIRING A NUCLEAR WEAPON.
奧巴馬：好，我主導了減輕氣候暖化對世界的危害和防止伊朗擁有核武的協議。
SETPHEN: OKAY, LET’S CHANGE THAT TO “PROFICIENT IN MICROSOFT EXCEL,” ANYTHING ELSE?
史蒂芬：好的，我們把它改成你有熟練操作微軟EXCEL的能力。
OBAMA: WELL, I REOPENED RELATIONS WITH CUBA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 50 YEARS.
奧巴馬：50年來第一次，我又開通了和古巴的關係。
STEPHEN: I’D CALL THAT ONE “CONVERSATIONAL SPANISH,” SI?
史蒂芬：我把它歸為精通西班牙口語。
OBAMA: OKAY.
奧巴馬：中。
STEPHEN: IT SAYS HERE – LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT. IT SAYS HERE YOU SAVED THE AMERICAN AUTO INDUSTRY.
史蒂芬：這裡說，讓我搞准了，簡歷上說你救了美國的汽車工業。
OBAMA: YEAH, BUT NOBODY BELIEVES IT. CHANGE THAT TO “DRIVES STICK.”
奧巴馬：是呀，但是沒人信。把它改成我能開手動車好了。
STEPHEN: OH, THAT’S GOOD, THAT’S GOOD. IN CASE YOU WANT TO BE A LONG HAUL TRUCKER. OKAY. IT ALSO SAYS HERE YOU – YOU HELPED TENS OF MILLIONS OF AMERICAN WITH THEIR HEALTHCARE.
史蒂芬：啊，很好。或許你想當大卡車司機。這裡還說你幫千萬美國人拿到了醫療保險。
OBAMA: YOU BET.
奧巴馬：當然。
STEPHEN: OKAY, LET’S TEST THAT OUT. IT HURTS WHEN I DO THIS?
史蒂芬：那好，考考你。（史蒂芬做搖胳膊的動作）我這樣做會感到疼。
OBAMA: DON’T DO THAT.
奧巴馬：不要做那樣的動作。
STEPHEN: OKAY. GOOD. UH, DO YOU HAVE ANY AWARDS OR COMMENDATIONS?
史蒂芬：好，你得到過任何獎勵和嘉獎嗎？
OBAMA: WELL, I HAVE ALMOST 30 HONORARY DEGREES AND I – I DID GET THE NOBEL PEACE PRICE.
奧巴馬：我有大約30個榮譽學位。我還得了諾貝爾和平獎。
STEPHEN: OH, REALLY? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
史蒂芬：是嗎？你做什麼了得到的諾貝爾和平獎？
OBAMA: TO BE HONEST, I STILL DON’T KNOW.
奧巴馬：說實話，到現在我還不知道。
STEPHEN: OKAY, GOOD. ALL RIGHT AND HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO FIRE ANYONE?
史蒂芬：好，你是否曾斃（炒過別人的魷魚）過人？
OBAMA: NO, I USUALLY LET SEAL TEAM SIX HANDLE THAT.
奧巴馬：我一般都是讓第六海豹隊去做。
STEPHEN: OKAY, OUT SOURCING. OKAY, GOOD; NOW, SOCIAL MEDIA, VERY HOT. DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT? LIKE TWITTER?
史蒂芬：啊哈，外包。好，行。社交網絡現在是熱門。你有參加的經驗，譬如，TWITTER？
OBAMA: WELL, I HAVE 77 MILLION FOLLOWERS. DOES THAT COUNT?
奧巴馬：啊，我有七千七百萬粉絲，算嗎？
STEPHEN: THAT’S VERY IMPRESSIVE. HOW DO YOU GET SO MANY?
史蒂芬：好厲害，你是如何擁有那麼多粉絲的？
OBAMA: EXECUTIVE ORDER.
奧巴馬：政令。
STEPHEN: REALLY?
史蒂芬：真的嗎？
OBAMA: AND PHOTOS OF CATS.
奧巴馬：還有那些貓的照片。
STEPHEN: OH, SMART. NOW, THESE DAYS EVERY BUSINESS WANTS TO APPEAL TO THE MILLENNIALS. YOU KNOW WHAT MILLENNIALS ARE.
史蒂芬：英明。還有，現如今所有行業都重視招引00後。你知道什麼是00後嗎？
OBAMA: I THINK SO.
奧巴馬：我想我知道。
STEPHEN: OKAY. HOW DO YOU PLAN TO GET THEIR ATTENTION?
史蒂芬：那好，你如何引起他們的注意？
OBAMA: WELL, I TELL THEM STRAIGHT UP THAT THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF THEIR LIFETIMES, THAT THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE HISTORY. AND THAT THE RESULTS IN NOVEMBER COULD CHANGE THEIR LIVES FOREVER SO THEY HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND VOTE.
STEPHEN: I’M SORRY I DIDN’T CATCH ALL OF THAT. DID YOU KNOW THERE’S A SNAPCHAT FILTER THAT GIVES YOU A FLOWER CROWN?
史蒂芬：（假裝沒聽，玩他的手機）對不起，我沒聽你說什麼。你知道嗎，在手機上你可以給人套上花冠？
OBAMA: OF COURSE I KNOW THAT, STEPHEN.
奧巴馬：我當然知道。
STEPHEN: OKAY. LET’S BE HONEST WITH OUTSELVES, OKAY? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS?
史蒂芬：好了，讓我們都誠實一些。說說你最大的毛病。
OBAMA: WELL, SOMETIMES – WHEN I TALS – I TAKE – TOO MANY PAUSES.
奧巴馬：（不時不斷停頓地說）有時，我講話時，中間有太多的停頓。
STEPHEN: OKAY. IN THREE WORDS OR LESS WHAT’S A COMMON CRITICISM YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS IN THE WORKPLACE?
史蒂芬：好，用三個字，表達你對同事常有的不滿。
OBAMA: I CANNOT STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE REDUCE COMPLEX IDEAS TO SOME SIMPLISTIC CATCH PHRASE.
奧巴馬：我無法忍受當人們用過分簡單的詞彙來表達十分複雜的問題。
STEPHEN: WE CAN’T ACCEPT THAT ANSWER.
史蒂芬：我們不能接受這個答案。
OBAMA: YES WE CAN.
奧巴馬：當然能。（這正是奧巴馬競選時用的簡單的詞彙，口號）
STEPHEN: OKAY. LET’S SEE, ALMOST DONE. DO YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE? AM I KEEPING YOU FROM SOMETHING?
史蒂芬：好，馬上就完了。你很忙嗎？我是不是纏住你而誤了你的事。
OBAMA: YOU ARE.
奧巴馬：是的，你耽誤了我。
STEPHEN: OKAY. IS THERE ANYONE WE CAN TALK TO FOR A CHARACTER REFERENCE?
史蒂芬：好，有沒有人可以為你提供佐證？
OBAMA: I KNOW SEVERAL TURKEYS THAT OWE ME A FAVOR.
奧巴馬：我知道有幾隻火雞欠我的好處。（註：幾年來，感恩節時奧巴馬免殺了幾隻火雞）
STEPHEN: ALL RIGHT. GOOD TO KNOW; AND HOW DO YOU LIKE TO SPEND YOUR TIME? DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?
史蒂芬：好，了解了。你是怎麼消磨時間的？你有業餘愛好嗎？
OBAMA: YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY LOVE DOING? IS ENCOURAGING THE YOUTH OF AMERICA TO GET OUT AND VOTE THIS NOVEMBER SO THAT THE GOOD WORK THAT WE’VE DONE OVER THE PAST EIGHT YEARS CAN CONTINUE ON INTO THE FUTURE.
STEPHEN: ALL RIGHT. AND – NOW SIR, BECAUSE WE ARE ON A NETWORK TELEVISION SHOW, I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO ENDORSE A CANDIDATE RIGHT NOW. BUT I DO – I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR CHOICE OF SNACKS. COULD I DO THAT?
STEPHEN: ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TWO CHOICES FOR YOU HERE. WOULD YOU CARE FOR AN EXTRA FIBER NUTRIENT BAR, WHICH HAS TRAVELED TO MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED COUNTRIES, OR THIS SHRIVELED TANGERINE COVERED IN GOLDER RETRIEVER HAIR, FILLED WITH BILE THAT I WOULDN’T LEAVE ALONE WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE?
OBAMA: WELL, I THINK I’LL GO WITH THE FIBER NUTRIENT BAR.
奧巴馬：我想我選那個有營養和大量纖維的餅條。
STEPHEN: INTERESTING. OKAY. SO, ULTIMATELY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
史蒂芬：有意思。那好，你最終想要什麼？
OBAME: DONE WITH THIS INTERVIEW.
奧巴馬：結束這個採訪。
STEPHEN: OKAY, GREAT. BEFORE WE WRAP UP ANY QUESTIONS FOR ME?
史蒂芬：結束前有問題要問我嗎？
OBAMA: I’M STILL WONDERING HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
奧巴馬：我還是弄不清你是怎麼進來的。
STEPHEN: THAT’S AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. WE LIKE THAT, INQUISITIVE， OKAY, FANTASTIC. WELL, THAT ALL CHECKS OUT, MR. PRESIDENT. WE WOULD LIKE TO OFFER A POSITION. BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO HAVE THE MANDATORY COMPANY PHYSICAL. IF YOU’LL JUST – RELAX AND PUT ON THAT GOWN OVER THERE WE WILL GET GOING.
