好诗是怎样炼成的

雨斤

人言，高手在民间。此话不虚。

洒家今天一时兴起，胡诌了几句英文。幸遇贾舟子老师拨冗指教，获益匪浅。

横线划掉的，是我的原文。再次感谢贾老师的妙语点拨！

A night at the maple bridge

By J. Zhang

Crows cry sadly sorrowfully 

in the frosty dark night

after moon long set

With all the worries in mind

I cuddled up on my parked anchored boat

trying hard to fall asleep

but without success up until in vain‘til midnight  

only to hear the far reaching sound

of the time broadcasting telling bell 

from the nearby chill mountain temple

(雨斤 贾舟子 合译）

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