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One day in September 2003, at a construction site, my colleague Garry.CC. Liu came to me angrily, said, "I heard again that you don't call your dad. Your dad entrusts your neighbors and friends to persuade you, and you don't listen to anyone.”

我愣住了，明白过来后，问：“是谁让你来劝我？”

I was stunned, and after understanding it, I asked, "Who asked you to persuade me?"

刘加力（Garry.CC.Liu）愣住了，知道自己是突然说了这个话题，回答说：“谁也没让我来劝你。前天我去世嘉堡 (Scarborough)开会，休息时，有人故意在我后面说你的事。这不是他们知道我和你的关系不错，又和我不熟，就故意这么做，让我来劝你么！这事咱们全公司的人都知道了，结果我跟你连这点事都说不明白，那我是啥人呐！我还怎么做人呐！你还知道，你爸爸的身体不好，说不定哪天就咽气了。你怎么就感受不到他老人家的那片心呢！我跟你说，等他死了，你肯定后悔，到那时，你肠子悔青了也没用！我还听说你爸爸知道你在加拿大生活得不开心，想尽办法来帮你，可是你就是不接受！这爹跟儿子打架，儿子生气到你这种程度的，我长这么大，就从来没听说过！”

Garry.CC.Liu was stunned, knowing that he suddenly mentioned this topic, and replied: "No one asked me to persuade you. I went to Scarborough for a meeting the day before yesterday. During the break, someone deliberately talked about you behind me. Isn’t this because they know that I have a good relationship with you and they are not familiar with me, so they did this deliberately to asked me to persuade you! Everyone in our company knows about this, but I can’t even explain this to you, so who am I? How can I be a human being! You also know that your father's health is bad, and he might die at anytime. Why can't you feel the old man's heart? Let me tell you, when he dies, you will regret. By then, it will be useless even if you regrated your intestines into blue! I also heard that your father knew that you were unhappy living in Canada and tried his best to help you, but you just refused to accept him! A father fights with his son, and the son is as angry as you are. I have never heard of it in my whole life! "

刘加力和我一样，都是老实人，生气脸就红。这时，他激动得像是要哭了似的。我赶紧说：“我知道了，回家就给他打电话。过一段时间，回去看他。”

Garry like me, is an honest person, and his face is red when he is angry. At this time, he was so excited that he seemed to cry. I hurriedly said, "I know, I'll call him when I get home. After a while, I go back to see him.”

他走了，一会儿又回来了，说：“他们没说你爸爸病危，你回家的事可能也用不着那么着急。我看你脸色不好，像是病了。我已经跟工地的经理说了，你把这里的工作交给我。今天，你早点回去，好好休息休息！”

He left and came back after a while and said, "They didn't say that your father was critically ill, so you probably didn't need to be in such a hurry to get home. I see that you don't look good, as if you are sick. I have already told the manager of the construction site. Now, leave the work here to me. Today, you go back early and have a good rest!"

9.4、我抑郁了.jpg

（2）

回家的路上，我把车开到一个空停车场，然后放声大哭。这时，我虽是怀疑，但认为我以前在和平房产局（参见第6章）和在拓疆房地产公司（参见9.1节）工作时，背后有刘团长的帮助。我出国后，没有了他的帮助，两三年了，连个正经的工作都找不着。我回国去看望他，说什么呀！？没脸去见他！我又想：这是刘健君到现在还没找着对象，还结婚后离婚吗！？老头子又想起我来了，又闹心了！可是我已经结婚了，还能怎么办！我失声哭过后，全身舒服了，忽然想：老头子这是又玩什么花样？你不是要用 “死不瞑目”（参见2.4节《刘团长对桃花劫的讲解》）诅咒我么，一辈子不能和我见面吗?

On the way home, I pulled into an empty parking lot and let loose. At this point, although I was skeptical, I thought that when I used to work at Heping Housekeeping Bureau (see Chapter 6) and at TJ Real Estate Ltd (see Section 9.1), I had the help of Troupe Leader Liu. After I left China, without his help, I couldn't even find a decent job for two or three years. When I went back to China to visit him, what did I say? I didn't have the face to see him! I also thought that this is Eve Liu so far has not found a partner, but also married and then divorced! The old man remembered me again, and disturbed! But I'm already married, what else can I do! After I lost my voice and cried, my whole body comfortable, suddenly thought: the old man this is again playing what tricks? Aren't you going to curse me with “To Die with Eyes Open”, and not be able to see me for life?

注9.4-2，就在这时，“死不瞑目”这个诅咒从我的无意识跳到了意识。我感觉刘团长是在诅咒我，但我并没有回忆出什么证据，只是隐约地感觉我在第6章《和平房产局》时，也是他在背后帮助我。

Annotation 9.4-2, just at this moment, the curse of “To Die with Eyes Open” jumped from my unconscious to my conscious mind. I felt that Troup Leader Liu was cursing me, but I did not recall any evidence of this, except that I had a vague feeling that he was also behind me in Chapter 6 “Heping Housekeeping Bureau”.

（3）

一天夜里，我妻子突然对我说：“你怎么了？三更半夜不睡觉，在那里唉声叹气！”

我说：“我什么也没想。”

妻子说：“我都看得很清楚，自从我说我怀孕了，你就不开心了，一天天的总是闷闷不乐，在那里发呆。”

这时我才意识到，两周前和刘加力谈话后，我的全身都像是有沉重的感觉（注3），不一样，心情也不一样。将有孩子了，我和妻子商量换家公寓住。我也打算找份新工作，离开这家岩土顾问公司，那老头子（刘团长）就找不着我了。

One night, my wife suddenly said to me, “What's wrong with you? Not sleeping in the middle of the night, sighing there!”

I answered, “I'm not thinking about anything.”

My wife said, “I can see it all very clearly, ever since I said I was pregnant, you've been unhappy, and you're always moping around day after day.”

At this time, I realized that two weeks ago after talking to Garry, my whole body is like a heavy feeling (Annotation 3), different, and different mood. There will be a child, and my wife and I are discussing a new apartment to live in. I was also planning to find a new job and leave this geotechnical consultancy, so that old man (Toupe Leader Liu) wouldn't be able to find me anymore.

注9.4-3，当时我不懂，现在想来，那时我患了抑郁症。

Annotation 9.4-3, I didn't understand it at that time, but now I think that I suffered from depression at that time.

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