Troubles Are Not "Encountered" By Chance, But Carefully "Arranged"

Yesterday, a friend had a small dispute with a neighbor, called the police for help, and even prepared to take legal action. He was very upset and came to me to confide in me. Although I am not a legal professional and do not understand the whole picture of the dispute, I naturally cannot provide substantive legal advice.

But a little experience in my life may be used as a reference: many troubles are not "encountered" by chance, but "specifically arranged". To be more precise, it is a "test" set up for our growth and self-improvement.

The more timid we are, the more life will arrange for us to face conflicts and exercise our courage; the more helpless we are, the more we will be pushed into situations where we must solve problems independently; the more narrow-minded we are, the more we will be arranged to face the lessons of tolerance and understanding. It seems that there is an invisible "life course system" that tailors a set of troublesome questions for us to temper our character.

Many people say that real life is like a school, where there are always exams. After each unit is completed, students must pass the test before they can move on. The "exams" of life - those troubles and problems - are also divided into levels: elementary, intermediate, and advanced. If we can pass the elementary test, we will be assigned a higher level of challenge; if we fail to pass it, we will have to "make up the exam" repeatedly until we have learned it thoroughly.

However, there are also essential differences between life and school: in school, you don’t have to take exams after graduation; but in life, as long as you are alive, troubles and challenges will come one after another. Fundamentally speaking, either we continue to grow and transcend troubles, or we are trapped in a certain level of troubles and hesitate to move forward. People often say "the years are quiet and good", but in fact it is just a period of rest, not a permanent state. I once tried to do nothing for a week and hide at home to "avoid troubles", but I still couldn't get away and couldn't escape. Troubles would still "find the door".

Back to the neighborhood disputes, in fact, many times, it all comes down to a little misunderstanding and a little intolerance. If we are narrow-minded, small things will become big things, and small frictions will escalate into big conflicts. On the contrary, if we change our perspective and have more understanding and consideration, troubles can often be easily resolved.

The "correct solution" to this kind of trouble is often not to "sue" or "go to court", but to turn around and examine yourself and make changes in your mind. When communicating, think from the perspective of others and actively establish positive interactions, and the troubles may be naturally resolved. For example, sweeping snow for neighbors in winter and helping neighbors mow the lawn in summer are not only friendly gestures, but also a practical way of reconciliation, which can break down barriers and enhance understanding.

Many misunderstandings and frictions between people are actually the reflection of unfinished "homework" in their hearts. If we always respond to the "test" of life in a confrontational way, then this question will appear again and again until we completely master it.

If you understand this, you will understand that troubles are not "external events" but "internal homework"; not occasional conflicts, but growth arrangements. Only when we really see this clearly and adjust our cognition and change our coping methods from our own perspective, can we truly pass this level of "life test".

Troubles are not enemies, but teachers carefully arranged by life. Only when we continue to pass these "tests" can the pattern of life be opened up and the road of life can be wider and wider.

Peter Lee In Toronto