“爸爸，”兒子止住笑說，“假如陌生人是一位外國人，那可怎麼辦呢？”
“外國人？”
“對啊。假如有一位外國人走過來問我，說：‘Hi Kid, who is that guy over there? That weirdo, as you can see from here, is wearing something stupid on his neck. Why is he drawing so much attention and respect from the crowd? Is he a famous clown or what?’ 那我該怎樣回答他呢？”
父親猶豫片刻，說：“你呀，假裝沒聽清或聽懂他說的話，對他說：‘Say that again.’ 外國人就會重複一遍他剛才說過的話。然後你再大一點兒聲說：‘Say that again！’那老外就又重複一遍。然後你更大聲說：‘Say that again！！！’老外不明故里就又重複一遍。這個時候，還沒等他把話說完，你就啪！ 啪！ 啪！。 。。 啪！ 啪！ 啪！”
“爸，你啥意思啊？”
“啥意思？扇他大耳光子唄。啪！啪！啪！叫你不認識我圍脖男！啪！啪！啪！叫你不認識我圍脖男！。。 。”
“爸爸，至於嘛，人家是老外啊。而且人家是問我不是問你呀。”
“Just kidding.”父親回過神兒來說，“問你？呃。。。有簡單的和複雜的兩種回答方式。簡單的，就是假如你懶得理他，你就說：‘Excuse me, sir. Can you speak Chinese? I don’t understand a single word you‘ve just said, ‘cause I don’t speak any English. ’”
兒子聽了，咯咯咯地笑了起來，說：“成。那複雜的呢？”
“複雜的，就是在回答他時，要對他同時進行批評教育。你不妨這樣回答他：‘Sir, you seem to be an educated and intelligent man, but how come that you don’t recognize this gentleman, one of our most popular individuals in the nation, one of our most talented singers, Comrade Wei, Wei BoNan to be exact? What a shame! You better think before you say something stupid, or you might get somebody offended and get yourself into trouble. 。。。Hey, next time if you want to go to another country for a visit, you better do some homework before you go, all right?”
兒子笑得更歡了。父親也抿不住嘴得意地笑了。
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