2006
I had not talked with you for a long time.
Recently, I thought of you occasionally and planned to give you a call in a few weeks in late December.
Last week I even mentioned to my brother that I would give you a call soon.
I always assumed that I would see you many times either in ..., ... or ....
I imagined visiting you and you visiting me.
You are still young, at your golden age.
You are tall and strong.
You have your unique manner and warmth, and friends love you.
You are a friend of my brother and were like my big brother.
In our teenage, you saw value in me and tried to take care of me.
As I grow up, I feel you as a dear special friend.
I happened to stay up after midnight one night ago and suddenly received an email from you.
It was written and sent to friends by your wife, declaring your death the week before.
I couldn’t believe it. I felt it’s like a joke.
I shivered for a moment and felt cold.
I talked to your wife on the phone, learning about the events surrounding your death.
I couldn’t sleep.
The next morning, I saw the note on my desk that I had written a week or so ago.
I saw your name on the note, along with the names of a few other friends that I plan to call.
You keep coming to my mind.
I still cannot believe you no longer exist in this world.
You have so many years to come and to live.
I wish you could live your life till its natural end.
If money were able to have you back alive, I would pay whatever it costs even if it means I would have to spend the rest of my life in debt.
It’s hard to accept this as a fact.
It’s a great sad regret that you just so immaturely died, leaving behind you your wife, your two-month-old son, and you parents who are visiting you, leaving behind you all of those who love and care about you.
Life is given. Life is taken. The world reveals its ugly truth.
Life is never secure. We never have secure ground underneath our feet.
Someday I’ll visit your wife and son, either in China or Australia.
And we’ll together remember you.
We know you didn’t wanna die.
We know, and you know, the world is not rational.
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