Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi : Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George : Great. Lay it on me.

Condi : Hu is the new leader of China.

George : That's what I want to know.

Condi : That's what I'm telling you.

George : That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi : Yes.

George : I mean the fellow's name.

Condi : Hu.

George : The guy in China.

Condi : Hu.

George : The new leader of China.

Condi : Hu.

George : The Chinaman!

Condi : Hu is leading China.

George : Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi : I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George : Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi : That's the man's name.

George : That's who's name?

Condi : Yes.

George : Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi : That's correct.

George : Then who is in China?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir is in China?

Condi : No, sir.

George : Then who is?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir?

Condi : No, sir.

George : Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi : Kofi?

George : No, thanks.

Condi : You want Kofi?

George : No.

Condi : You don't want Kofi.

George : No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi : Kofi?

George : Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi : And call who?

George : Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi : Hu is the guy in China.

George : Will you stay out of China?!

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi : Kofi.

George : All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi : Rice, here.

George : Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

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