Saturday June 3, 1989 8 p.m.

1989年6月3日，星期六，晚8:00

 

It’s still light outside. I haven’t slept in 48 hours. I feel like I’m moving in slow motion.

All I want to do is lie down, but I know I have to keep working.

 

外邊天還亮着。我已經有48小時沒合眼了。我感覺自己進入了慢動作狀態。我只想

躺下來。可我知道我得繼續工作。

 

The UPI office telephone rings. UPI bureau chief David Schweisberg picks it up then

barks, “Savitt, it’s your girlfriend.” Dede and the U.S. ambassador’s wife Mrs. Bette Bao

Lord are in the CBS headquarters. The office takes up the entire tenth floor of the

Shangri-La Hotel in the northwest university district.

 

合眾國際社（UPI）辦公室的電話鈴響了。

UPI分社社長Schweisberg接起電話大喊：

“Savitt，你女朋友的。”Dede和美國大使夫人包柏漪正在哥倫比亞廣播公司（CBS）

總部，它設在北京西北的學院區香格里拉飯店的

10樓，辦公室占了整整一層。

 

“Wei! Wei! Hey! Hey!” I grunt the standard Chinese telephone greeting to try to lighten

the mood with humor.

 

“喂！喂！嘿！嘿！”我用中文咕噥着電話問候，想用幽默讓心情輕鬆些。

 

“Don’t joke,” Dede says. “You have to get to the west end of the Avenue of Eternal

Peace right away. The troops and tanks are moving. They have orders to clear Tiananmen

Square before dawn.”

 

“別開玩笑，”Dede說，“你馬上到長安街西頭去。部隊和坦克已經出動了。他

們接到命令要在凌晨前對天安門廣場清場。”

 

 “Cao, Fuck!

 

“肏！”

 

“Thanks for your help,” I add and hear her tell me: “Be careful” as I hang up.

 

“謝謝你幫忙，”我補充了一句，掛電話時聽見她說“小心點兒”。

 

I grab my camera bag and motorcycle helmet, shove my brick-sized cell phone into the

pocket of my dad’s old army jacket I wear for good luck, and call out: “The troops are

moving, I’m heading west.”

 

我抓起相機包和頭盔，把磚頭大小的手機塞進我爸的舊軍裝口袋裡，平時我穿它是

為圖個吉利。我喊了一聲：“部隊出動了。我去西邊兒了。”

 

“Keep your phone on,” I hear Schweisberg say as I sprint out the door.

 

“手機開着，”衝出門時Schweisberg對我說。

 

I hop on my motorcycle, kick start the engine and speed out the front gate of the

diplomatic compound. It’s 10 km. (6.2 miles) to the west end of the city. I’ve made the

ride in less than 15 minutes with no traffic. But now the streets are packed with people

moving concrete lane dividers into the roadway to block the troops from entering the city.

 

我跳上摩托車，踩着了油門，衝出外交公寓。城西頭離這裡有

10公里（6.2英里）。

街上沒車時，我用

15分鐘就能騎到。可現在街上全是人。為了阻擋部隊進城，他們

把水泥隔離墩都挪到了馬路中間。

 

No car can get through this. Other journalists are going to have a hard time getting to the

front line.

汽車是根本開不過去的。其他記者要想到前線去會很艱難。

 

Public loudspeakers at every intersection repeat the martial law warning: “Citizens are

forbidden to enter the streets or Tiananmen Square. Violators will be responsible for their

own fate. Should anyone ignore this order, the martial law troops, people’s armed police

and public security officers will use whatever means necessary to enforce it.”

 

每個路口的大喇叭都在不停地重複着戒嚴令的緊急通告：“全體市民們，請你們不

要上街去，不要到天安門廣場去。凡不聽勸告的，將無法保證其安全，一切後果完

全由自己負責。戒嚴部隊、公安幹警和武警部隊有權採取一切手段強行處置。”

 

I steer into the bike lane and weave through the crowds heading for Tiananmen.

 

我轉到自行車道，在往天安門方向走去的人群中穿梭。

 

The Square is packed with people. I never knew how festive a revolt could be. People are

smiling, laughing and talking about their hopes for the future. But I see in their eyes

fierce determination to hold the heart of the city through the night.

 

廣場上擠滿了人。我還真不知道反抗活動可以這麼富有節日氣氛。人們面帶微笑，

笑談着對未來的希望。從他們的目光里，我看到他們下定了決心，要通宵占領這個

城市心臟。

 

leave the Square the number of people in the street thins out. I veer back onto the main

road and pick up speed. The landmarks tick by a kilometer apart: Tiananmen Rrenda

Huitang (Gate of Heavenly Peace Great Hall of the People) West Road. Xinhua (New

China) Gate. Liubukou (Six Ministries Street Mouth). Xidan (West Monumental Arch).

Minzu Gong (National Minorities Palace). Fuxing (Glorious Revival) Gate—the entrance

to the old Imperial city. Muxidi—the site of high officials’ residences, including the

Communist Party Secretary’s chief of staff and his family. I finally arrive at

Gongzhufen—“Tomb of the Princesses” 1—where the Third Ring road turns south toward

the military camps where I know the tanks and troops are billeted.

 

天安門城樓上高懸的毛主席像在我身旁掠過。離開廣場時，街上的人少了下來。我

又上了主車道，開始加速。一個個路標被我甩在身後：人大會堂西路、新華門、

六部口、西單、民族宮、復興門、木樨地—這兒有一棟部長樓，共產黨總書記的

政治秘書鮑彤一家就住在這樓里。我終於到達了公主墳。從這裡上三環往南走就是

兵營，部隊和坦克都駐紮在那兒。

 

It’s taken more than an hour to get here. The sun has set and the sky is now completely

dark. The grassy roundabout is filled with people sitting in circles. Individuals move from

group to group, gathering information and speculating about what the government is

going to do. Contrary to the festive mood in the Square, this crowd is on edge.

 

我花了一個多小時才到達公主墳。太陽下山了，天完全黑了下來。環島草地上坐滿

了人，他們圍成圈。幾個人在人群中走來走去搜集信息，猜測政府下一步會採取什

麼行動。跟廣場上的節日氣氛不同的是，這群人顯得非常緊張。

 

I feel my cell phone vibrate and pull it out. It’s Dede.

 

手機震動了。我接起來，是Dede打來的。

 

“Where are you?”

 

“你在哪兒？”

 

“Gongzhufen.”

 

“公主墳。”

 

 “The troops and tanks are coming up the road toward you.”

 

1The favored third and fourth daughters of the Qing dynasty Jiaqing emperor (17601820).

 

 “部隊和坦克正在往你的方向進發。”

 

 “Thanks,” I say and shove the phone back in my pocket.

 

“謝啦，”說完我就把電話塞進了口袋。

 

Mrs. Lord and Dede’s intelligence is again unerring. I ride my bike south with the lights

out to avoid detection. I hear a low rumble grow louder, and as I come over a rise I see a

line of battle tanks, armored personnel carriers, and thousands of soldiers with bayonet-

tipped assault rifles coming toward me. It’s the most terrifying sight I’ve ever seen.

 

這次，包柏漪夫人和Dede的情報再次準確無誤。我騎上摩托往南走，為了不被發

現，我滅了燈。就在這時，隆隆聲越來越響。我來到高處，看見一排坦克、裝甲車

還有幾千名端着刺刀衝鋒鎗的士兵朝我的方向行進。我這輩子都沒見過這麼嚇人的

場面。

 

 

I whip my bike around and speed back toward the intersection.

 

我掉轉車頭，加速朝路口騎去。

  

“Dabing laila!—The soldiers are coming!” I cry as loud as I can.

 

“大兵來啦！”我拼命高喊。

 

I hide my bike in a clump of bushes. I’m still wearing my motorcycle helmet, and my

bandana covers my mouth and nose. Only my eyes are visible, no one can see I’m a

foreigner. Suddenly anti-riot troops in black uniforms with metal shields and steel

helmets pour into the roundabout from all sides. People start running. I hear the thud of

wooden truncheons smacking skulls.

 

我把車藏到矮樹叢下。頭盔還戴在腦袋上。我用大手帕把嘴和鼻子都捂上，只露出

眼睛，沒人能看出我是外國人。突然，身穿黑制服、手拿盾牌、帶着頭盔的防暴警

察從四面八方衝進圓形地帶。人們跑了起來。我聽到木棍打到頭蓋骨的噗噗聲。

 

 

 

“Faxisi—Fascists!” “Gou—Dogs!” “Chusheng—Beasts!” onlookers yell. Then the

people start fighting back. Young men break sidewalk flagstones into jagged chunks and

hurl them at the soldiers.

 

“法西斯！”“狗！”“畜牲！”旁觀的人高喊着。這時，人們開始反擊。年輕人

把地磚砸碎，朝士兵扔去。

 

until he falls to the ground. I run to help him, but can’t get close as the crowd closes in.

They look like they’re beating him to death.

 

一名防暴士兵被困在鐵欄杆上。人們往他身上扔磚頭和石頭，他倒在了地上。我跑

過去想幫他，可他被層層包圍，他們快要把他打死了。

 

Then I hear the unmistakable sound of machine gun fire. Pop-pop-pop. Steady bursts of

three shots that I know means the rifles are on semi-automatic. Red and green tracer

bullets streak through the sky. It’s eerily beautiful. I can’t help thinking of the lines from

the Star Spangled Banner: “And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air.”

 

這時，我清清楚楚地聽見機槍聲，“啪、啪、啪”一連三發子彈，說明這是半自動

步槍。紅紅綠綠的曳光彈划過夜空，有着一種詭異的美。這不由讓我想起美國國歌

“星條旗永不落”里的歌詞：“烈火熊熊，炮聲隆隆。”

 

Suddenly a man next to me spins and falls to the ground. I see a red stain spread across

his t-shirt. “Are they rubber bullets?” I ask a guy running by.

 

突然，我身旁一名男子打着轉，倒在了地上。他的背心上一大片紅漬。“他們用的

是橡皮子彈？”我問身邊跑過去的一個男人。

 

“Rubber bullets?! Fuck no, they’re live rounds.” He knows what he’s talking about,

everyone here does mandatory military training and is familiar with these weapons.

 

“橡皮子彈?! 別逗了！真槍實彈！”他說的沒錯。他們都受過軍訓，對這些武器

門兒清。

 

Then the tracer fire moves from over our heads directly into the crowd. People start

falling all around me. I hear the ppppzzzzhhhh ppppzzzzhhhh ppppzzzzhhhh of high-

velocity rifle bullets buzzing past my head. A tear gas canister explodes next to me and I

fall to the ground. My eyes are burning and tearing. Gasping for air, I lie paralyzed on the

pavement for several minutes. When I can finally see again the tanks and troops are

moving toward the next intersection, Muxidi.

 

曳光彈從頭頂落入人群，周圍的人紛紛倒下。高速步槍子彈從耳邊呼嘯而過，催淚

瓦斯彈在身旁爆開來，我倒在地上，眼睛燒灼般疼痛，眼淚直流。我癱瘓地躺在便

道上，大口喘着氣。幾分鐘後，我恢復了視力，看到坦克和部隊已經向下一個路口

木樨地進發了。

 

I call in the first confirmed death after 10 p.m. I can barely be heard above the din of

gunshots.

 

己的說話聲了。

“Dave,” I say when I hear my boss’s voice, “they’re firing into the crowd and a guy’s

dead.”

 

“大衛，”我聽見老闆的聲音，跟他說，“他們在朝人群開槍，一個男的已經死

了。”

 

“How do you know he’s dead?”

 

“你怎麼知道他死了？”

 

“Because his brains are splattered on the pavement.”

 

“他的腦漿濺了一地！”

 

 

 

電話斷了。

 

with blood. I tell him I’ll take him to Fuxing Hospital, a mile away at Muxidi Bridge.

 

一個和我年紀相仿的人朝我一瘸一拐地走來。他的大腿中了槍，褲子都被血滲透了。

我跟他說我帶他去復興醫院，它就在木樨地附近。

 

I pull my bike out of the bushes and help him straddle the seat. As he leans against me I

feel his blood seep into my clothes. I speed off in the bike lane. The tanks and troops are

advancing down the main road beside us less than 20 meters away. They’re firing into the

crowd ahead. If they turn their guns sideways we’ll both be killed.

 

我把摩托從矮樹叢中拉出，幫他跨上座位。他靠在我身上，我能感覺到他的血滲到

我的衣服上。我在自行車道上快速出發。在離我們不到

20米的路旁，坦克和部隊在

行進，朝他們前面的人群射擊。如果他們把槍口調到側面，我們倆肯定會被打死。

 

We pass bicycles and flatbed tricycles transporting the wounded.

 

 

 

The sight shocks me. The entrance corridor is filled with gunshot victims. Most aren’t

being treated. Some are hooked up to IVs. A handful are covered with bloody white

sheets, obviously dead.

 

我快速來到醫院門口，放下摩托車支架，扶着傷者走了進去。這裡的場面讓我震驚。

門口的走廊里擠滿了被子彈打中的傷員。多數人還在等候治療。有的掛着點滴，四、

五個人的身上覆蓋着有血跡的白單子，他們顯然已經斷氣了。

 

 

 

“救命！”我大叫起來。

 

A nurse wearing a surgical mask runs over and we ease the guy onto the floor.

 

一位戴着口罩的護士跑過來，跟我一起把傷者放到地上。

 

“He needs to be treated!” I shout.

 

“他需要治療！”我大聲喊着。

 

“No one’s available. The doctors are all operating on the worst injured. We aren’t

prepared to handle this many wounded.”

 

“現在沒人。醫生全都在給受傷最重的做手術。一下子這麼多受傷的，我們對付不

過來。”

 

I know from my wilderness survival training that the biggest danger of massive trauma is

blood loss. If they don't get transfused quickly the victim “bleeds out.” That’s what’s

happening here. This hospital won’t have enough blood for all these people.

 

我受過野外生存訓練，知道大面積受傷的人最怕失血。如果不趕緊輸血，傷者會

因失血過多而死去。這就是眼下正在發生的事情。這家醫院血源不足，沒辦法給這

麼多人供血。

 

“How many wounded?” I ask the nurse.

 

“有多少受傷的？”我問護士。

 

“All the operating rooms are full. So is the taipingjian—rest-in-peace room.” Rest-inpeace

room is the Chinese word for morgue. There must be scores injured and dead.

 

手術室都滿了，太平間也滿了。這裡的死傷人數起碼有幾十個。

 

I step back through the bodies in the entryway. The stench of blood and open wounds

sickens me.

 

我從躺在入口處的那些身體中走出來。血腥的氣味和傷口的惡臭令人作嘔。

 

There’s nothing more I can do here. I should be out reporting.

 

我在這兒幫不上忙。應該到外面去報道。

 

I run outside, hop on my bike and take off after the tanks.

 

我跑出去，跳上摩托，跟在坦克後面，上了路。

 

The carnage I just witnessed at Gongzhufen repeats itself at Muxidi. Anti-riot troops try to

clear the intersection and are attacked by citizens throwing stones, bricks, bottles and

now flaming Molotov cocktails. The soldiers open fire again and all around me people

drop to the ground bleeding.

 

在公主墳目睹的大屠殺在木樨地重演。防暴部隊想打開一條路，市民們向他們投

擲石塊、磚頭、瓶子、燃燒彈。士兵再次向市民開火，周圍的人紛紛倒下，在地上

流着血。

 

“Get her to the hospital immediately or she’ll die,” I yell to a group carrying an injured

young woman.

 

一群人正在運送一名受傷的女孩。我朝他們喊: “趕快把她送醫院，要不她就死

了。”

 

 

The tragic scene repeats itself all the way down the Avenue of Eternal Peace. Thousands

of enraged citizens fill the streets, massing spontaneously at each intersection to resist the

assault on their city. Incapable of clearing them with tear gas and batons, the soldiers

shoot their way through the crowds and dozens if not hundreds fall at every crossroads.

 

長安街一路上，悲慘的場面不斷出現。成千上萬憤怒的市民湧向街頭，自發地集結

在每個路口，抗議軍隊襲擊城市。士兵因無法用催淚彈和棍棒驅趕人群，他們就一

路開槍，殺出一條路，每個十字路口都有起碼幾十人倒下。

 

Fuxing (Glorious Revival) Gate. Minzu Gong (National Minorities Palace). Xidan (West

Monumental Arch). Liubukou (Six Ministries Street Mouth). Xinhua (New China) Gate.

Tiananmen (Heavenly Peace Gate). Renminda Huitang (The Great Hall of People) West

Road. The macabre dance continues. I ride the entire length of the Avenue of Eternal

Peace on the sidewalk, as far from the troops as I can get while still catching the action

with my camera. Famed photojournalist Robert Capa advised: “If your photographs aren't

good enough, you're not close enough.” He’s right, but if I get too close the nervous

soldiers will fire at me. The tension sharpens my senses and etches every moment into

memory.

 

從復興門、民族宮、西單，到六部口、新華門和人大會堂西路，令人毛骨悚然的

場面一直在持續。一路上，我只能在便道上騎車，離部隊遠點兒，儘量把眼前發生

的一切用相機拍下來。Robert Capa是位有名的新聞攝影師。他曾說過：“照片拍

得不好，是因為距離不夠近。”沒錯。可如果我離得太近，緊張的士兵會朝我開槍

的。緊張讓我感覺靈敏。我把眼前的一切都銘刻在腦海里。

 

On numerous occasions I make eye contact with soldiers less than 20 meters away. They

point their rifles at me several times, but for some reason don’t shoot. I guess they’re

exclusively focused on getting to the Square so nothing else matters.

 

好幾次，我都和距離20米以內的士兵對視。好幾次，他們都用步槍指着我。可不知

為何，他們並未開槍。他們一心一意要到達廣場，別的對他們大概沒那麼重要。

 

They finally arrive at Tiananmen just after midnight. The tanks and troops begin to fan

out and surround the 10-acre square. They line up in straight rows, apparently awaiting

orders for the final assault. When the cordon closes the thousands of students and citizens

will be trapped in the square.

 

坦克和部隊於午夜時分到達廣場。他們列成扇形，把占地

10英畝的廣場包圍起來。

士兵們排列成行，顯然是在等待最後進攻的命令。待警戒線縮小時，成千上萬的學

生和市民就會被困在廣場上。

 

This is my last chance to join them. I race ahead of the tanks to an alley called Zhengyi

Lu—Justice Lane, southeast of the square. It’s part of the old Legation Quarter. 2 I lived

in this neighborhood for several years and visit close friends here regularly. I know the

streets well. I ride down the pitch-dark alleyway with my lights out, park my bike in a

dark corner where I can retrieve it later, and run onto the square just before the tank line

closes.

 

要想加入他們的隊伍，這是我最後的機會。我衝到坦克前面，駛入廣場東南角的正

義路。這是過去的使館區。我曾在附近住過幾年，也常去周圍的朋友家串門，對這

一帶的街道瞭如指掌。關上車燈，我騎進了漆黑的胡同。把車放在一個過後能找到

的陰暗角落後，就在坦克封場之前趕回了廣場。

 

An emergency notice broadcasts continuously from public loudspeakers on the Square:

“City residents and students, a counterrevolutionary rebellion has taken place in Beijing.

A small number of terrorists has incited students to violently attack the Great Hall of the

People and throw rocks and Molotov cocktails at PLA soldiers and the people’s armed

police, injuring many! Students and residents are asked to leave the Square immediately

or you will bear the consequences of your actions.”

 

廣場上大喇叭里反覆播送着緊急通告：“全體市民們：首都今晚發生了嚴重的反革

命暴亂。暴徒們猖狂攻擊解放軍指戰員，搶軍火，燒軍車，設路障，綁架解放軍官

兵，妄圖顛覆中華人民共和國，推翻社會主義制度

……凡在天安門廣場的公民和學生，應立即離開，以保證戒嚴部隊執行任務。凡不聽勸告的，

 

2 Where the Boxer Rebellion (1897-1901) Foreign Legation 55-day siege took place.

 

 

thousand students and citizens remain here. Those nearest look at me like they’re seeing a

ghost. I look down and see I’m covered with blood. Then I remove my bandana. They’re

even more shocked to see I’m a foreigner.

 

我匆忙趕到廣場中心的紀念碑。幾千名學生和市民還聚集在這裡。周圍的人看着我

好似看見了鬼。我低頭一看，原來自己衣服上都是血。我把大手帕摘下來，他們就

更吃驚了，原來還是個老外！

 

“Zenme hui shi What happened?” they ask.

 

“怎麼回事兒？”他們問。

 

 “What happened? Don’t you know?! They’re shooting everyone in sight!”

 

“怎麼回事兒？你們真不知道？他們見人就開槍！”

 

The students on the Square don’t know what’s occurred outside Tiananmen. I’m the first

to bring the tragic news. I’m quickly surrounded and recount everything I’ve witnessed.

 

廣場的學生們完全不知道廣場外邊發生的事情。他們從我這裡第一次聽到這悲慘的

消息。他們圍攏過來。我把自己目睹的一切跟他們說了一遍。

 

Now they’re scared.

他們開始害怕起來。

 

“Do you think they’ll shoot us?”

 

“他們會對我們開槍嗎？”

 

I shake my head but remain silent.

 

我搖搖頭，沒吭聲。

 

 

學生們在紀念碑大理石台階上又坐下來。看得出，他們很震驚。

 

I sit with them and take a much-needed rest.

 

 

“民不畏死, 乃何以死懼之! Minbuweisi, naiheyisijuzhi The people aren’t afraid to die,

how can you threaten us?” a female student cries, shaking her fist at the tanks and

soldiers surrounding the Square. This gesture of defiance heartens her classmates.

 

“民不畏死，乃何以死懼之！”一個女生哭喊着，向包圍廣場的坦克和士兵揮舞着

拳頭。這個挑戰的舉動給同學們鼓起了勇氣。

 

“I was just accepted to medical school. This is an inconvenient time to die!” a male

student jokes, and the laughter of his classmates relieves the agonizing tension.

 

“我剛被醫科大學錄取。現在死可不是時候！”一名男生開起了玩笑，其他同學也

笑了起來。他們的笑聲讓緊張的情緒有所緩解。

 

We sit facing the massed tanks and troops from midnight until 4 a.m. Blinding floodlights

I’ve never seen turned on before illuminate the Square. I hear the sound of gunfire and

see tracer bullets flying overhead. Street battles continue on the roadways adjacent to

Tiananmen.

 

我們面對多輛坦克和大批士兵，從半夜一直坐到凌晨4：00。大燈亮了，一下子照

亮了廣場，非常刺眼。我從沒見過這麼讓人目眩的燈光。我聽見槍聲，曳光彈在頭

頂飛過，天安門附近馬路上的戰鬥仍在繼續。

 

Finally a young professor from Beijing Normal University, Liu Xiaobo,3 persuades the

students that they don’t have to die here. He receives their permission to negotiate a

settlement. We watch him cross no-man’s land between us and the troops and talk to the

soldiers. We’re afraid he’s going to be killed, beaten, or arrested, but he returns after half

an hour and reports that he’s made a deal. The Martial Law troops will allow a one-time

exit out the southeast corner of the Square. But anyone who stays behind won’t be

protected.

 

3Who in 2009 becomes the Nobel Peace Prize winner and is serving an 11-year prison

sentence for subversion.劉曉波是2009諾貝爾和平獎獲獎者。他因叛國罪被判11年，

最後，北師大年輕教授劉曉波3出來勸說學生，告訴他們不要在廣場做無謂的犧牲。

經學生允許，他去與戒嚴部隊商談和解。我們看着他穿過在學生和部隊之間的那片

無人地帶，跟他們談判。我們擔心他會被槍殺、毆打或逮捕。半小時後，他回來了。

條件談成了。戒嚴部隊允許學生從廣場東南角一次性撤出，但留下不走的將不會受

到保護。

 

The protest organizers, now led by 21-year-old “commander-in-chief” Chai Ling,

gather to discuss their response. There’s intense disagreement. Some want to leave and

live to fight another day. Others want to occupy the Square to the end.

 

學運組織者在21歲的“總司令”柴玲的帶領下，討論着他們應如何回應戒嚴部隊的

和解條件。爭論異常激烈。有人主張撤離，活下來繼續鬥爭。其他人則主張在廣場

占領到底。

 

“How about a compromise,” Chai Ling proposes, “Those who want to leave can leave,

those who choose to stay can stay.”

 

“妥協一下吧，”柴玲建議說。“想走的就走，想留的就留。”

 

They all agree and communicate their decision to Professor Liu, who goes back and

conveys it to the troops. An agreement is finalized. The students are promised safe

passage out the southeast corner of the Square.

 

他們一致同意，並把這一決定告訴劉曉波。劉再把這個信息轉到給戒嚴部隊。協議

最終達成。部隊保證在廣場東南角給學生打開一條通道。

 

Tiananmen has been occupied nonstop for almost eight weeks. Beijing police stopped

working a month ago and the capital’s crime rate went down. It’s the closest thing to pure

communism I ever expect to see. Now it’s ending this tragic way. It feels like the death of

idealism and innocence.

 

至此，天安門已被占領近八個星期了。北京的警察早在一個月前就不上班了，首都

的犯罪率都下降了。這種類似於純粹共產主義的東西是我不曾期待會親眼見過的。

 

 

4:30 a.m. June 4, 1989

1989年6月4日，凌晨

4：30

The students link hands, form two columns, and walk toward the southeast corner of the

square. They circle around the east side of Chairman Mao’s Mausoleum. I walk alongside

them. But before all the students make it off the monument, the troops start moving.

Their first target is the Goddess of Democracy statue facing Chairman Mao’s portrait at

the front of the square. A tank rolls forward, topples the statue and crushes it.

 

學生們手拉手，排成兩列縱隊，向廣場東南角走去。他們圍在毛主席紀念堂東邊。

我走在他們旁邊。在學生還沒有全部從紀念碑撤出時，部隊就開始行動了。他們第

一個目標就是矗立在廣場前方、面對着毛主席像的民主之神鵰塑。坦克向前開進，

推倒了雕像，將它碾碎。

 

 

 

Then all the tanks and troops move toward the tent city standing between them and the

Monument. The scene resembles what I witnessed earlier in the night—people running

chaotically ahead of the armored vehicles and soldiers, shouting, and the staccato burst of

gunfire.

 

接下來，坦克駛向立在部隊和紀念碑之間的帳篷群。早些時候的景象再次重演。人

們在裝甲車和士兵前面亂跑，叫喊。槍聲時而響起。

 

 

Internationale on the public address speakers they installed when the protests started. I

pay attention to the words for the first time: “This is the final struggle. Let us group

together and create a brighter future for humanity.”

 

留在紀念碑上的學生開始播放“國際歌”，那些大喇叭是學生靜坐開始時安裝在廣

場上的。我第一次認真聽它的歌詞：“這是最後的鬥爭，團結起來到明天！”

 

The tanks roll over the tents, probably killing people inside, and toward the monument.

Soldiers fire at the speakers to stop the music. Bullets crash into the metal but the music

continues for what seems like minutes. Then the speakers start to drone and finally go

silent.

 

坦克把帳篷一個個推倒，從上面碾過去。如果帳篷里有人，肯定被軋死了。坦克駛

向紀念碑。士兵朝大喇叭開槍，企圖讓歌曲停下來。子彈打碎金屬，歌聲仍繼續了

幾分鐘。接下來，喇叭發出嗡嗡聲，歌聲最終斷了。

 

The sky is getting light as I leave the Square with the students. We pass through an

opening the soldiers make and the line of tanks and troops closes behind us.

 

在我們後面。

 

We head west and begin the 7.5-mile walk back to the Haidian university district.

 

我們朝西行進，開始步行7.5 英里，回到位於海淀的學院區。

 

At the first intersection, Liubukou, we turn north. Walking up the narrow alley, we see a

line of troops pour in from the Avenue of Eternal Peace and head toward us. They fire

tear gas and we fall to the ground. Then I hear the terrifying rumble of tanks. There’s no

place to run. I claw my way over a street divider just in time. Those who remain behind

are crushed.

 

我們走到第一個十字路口六部口時，向北拐，走在窄窄的街上。部隊從長安街轉進

六部口，走向我們。他們開始放催淚彈，我們都趴在了地上。就在這時，我聽到可

怕的轟隆隆的坦克聲。我們無處躲藏。我趕緊爬到隔離墩旁，躲過了坦克。原地沒

動的，都被坦克車碾過。

 

 

I’ve taken enough risk. I run back to Justice Lane and get my motorcycle. Then I speed to

catch up with the survivors continuing their march to campus. I offer a ride to a female

student who looks too exhausted to walk. She gratefully accepts.

 

我已冒了太多的險。我跑回正義路拿我的摩托，然後加速趕上這些倖存者，繼續跟

他們步行回校。一名女生累得走不動了。我讓她坐上我的摩托。她感激地坐了上來。

 

We retrace my path of the night before. Riding west on the Avenue of Eternal Peace, the

scene resembles a war zone. Burned-out tanks, smoldering military vehicles, articulated

bus shells, dead bodies. The stench of fire and death is overwhelming.

 

我們在我昨晚的來路上往回走，西行的長安街就像戰場，馬路上有燒焦的坦克、冒

煙的軍車、鉸接式公共汽車只剩下了空殼，屍體橫七豎八。

 

night’s violence. Even the high officials’ residences have dead and wounded out in front.

People gather in groups on the street wailing at the tragedy and yelling angry epithets.

  

整個長安街一片混亂。木樨地的景象是昨晚暴力的結果，就連高幹樓前面都有死傷

者。面對這悲慘的景象，人們哭着、叫罵着。

 

“Liumang Zhengfu—Criminal Government!” One man’s words sum up the sentiments of

all.

“流氓政府！”一位男士的話代表了大家此時的情緒。

 

Xiao Hong (Little Red), the girl on my bike, weeps softly behind me.

 

小紅坐在我的車後，輕聲地啜泣。

 

The overcast sky mirrors the desolation around us. Suddenly a smoldering military

vehicle’s gas tank catches fire and kaboom! it explodes. We both jump at the loud noise.

 

陰沉的天空反射出周圍的淒涼景象。這時，一輛冒着煙的軍車的油箱突然着火，轟

隆一聲爆炸了。巨大的爆炸聲把我們都嚇了一大跳。

 

I finally make it to the entrance of Beida (Beijing University). For the first time I’ve ever

seen there are no guards on duty at the gate. Outside the university health clinic dead

students are on display. They’ve been shot to death, parts of their heads and bodies blown

off. The dozen corpses are laid out on blocks of ice. People are whispering and crying.

Xiao Hong doesn’t even look. In a barely audible whisper she thanks me for the ride and

returns to her dorm.

 

我們終於走到了北大校門。門口沒有站崗的保安，這還是頭一遭。學校醫務室外面

排放着死去的學生。他們是被槍殺的。有的人的身體和腦袋都不見了。十幾具屍體

放在冰塊上。人們在小聲議論，有人在哭。小紅連看都沒看上一眼，她用我幾乎聽

不見的聲音向我道謝後，就回宿舍了。

It’s afternoon now. My cell phone battery is dead, so I can’t call in any more reports. I

decide to go back to the office.

 

時間到了下午。我的手機已經沒電了。我沒法打電話匯報。我決定回辦公室去。

 

I ride back downtown on the Ring Road. As opposed to the city streets, the highway is

free of wreckage. But tanks and soldiers have set up checkpoints at every overpass. When

they see that I’m a foreigner they wave me through.

 

我騎在環路上。跟市區馬路不同的是，這裡沒有殘骸。但坦克和部隊在每個立交橋

上都設了檢查站。他們見我是外國人，揮了揮手讓我過去。

 

Mark, Delhi bureau chief Jonathan Landay and our local staff are huddled over

computers pounding out stories. The room is choked with cigarette smoke. When they

see me they all jump up at once.

 

我回到UPI辦公室，跌跌撞撞地進了門。副主任Mark、駐德里的主任Jonathan

Landay和本地雇員都正趴在電腦前拼命地寫報道。房間裡香煙的煙霧繚繞。他們看

到我，一個個都跳了起來。

 

“When we didn’t hear from you we thought something terrible happened!” Dave says.

 

“沒你的消息，我們以為你遇上大麻煩了！”大衛說。

 

“My cell phone battery died this morning while I was on the Square.”

 

“今天早上在廣場的時候我的手機就沒電了。”

 

They all look at me strangely. I glance down and see that my clothes are ripped and

covered in blood.

 

 

“Are you hurt?” Dave asks.

 

“你傷着了嗎？”大衛問我。

 

“No, this is other people’s blood.”

 

“沒有，這都是別人的血。”

 

 They guide me to a chair and someone hands me a cup of tea. I gulp it down. I haven’t

had any water, never mind eaten, in 24 hours. I’m exhausted and numb. But I give them a

rundown of everything I witnessed. I find out that what I saw took place all across the

capital. There was a massacre in Beijing. The Chinese Red Cross reported 2,000 dead,

with a detailed breakdown of casualties hospital by hospital. Then the military moved

into all medical facilities before dawn, stopped the counting and even fired on medical

personnel who were trying to help the wounded.

 

他們讓我坐下來，遞給我一杯茶。我一飲而盡。我已經有一天一夜沒吃沒喝了。可

我累得都麻木了。我簡單地給他們講述了我親眼所見的一切。原來我所見到的在整

個首都都發生了。一場大屠殺已在北京發生。根據中國紅十字會統計，死亡者有兩

千，每個醫院的死傷人數都詳細列出。部隊在黎明前又去了所有醫院，禁止清點死

傷人數，他們居然還向醫護人員開槍。

 

When I hear this news I start to cry. But then I compose myself and finish my account.

 

我聽到這個消息，一下子哭了起來。但我馬上振作起來，繼續說下去。

 

I haven’t slept in 72 hours.

我已有72小時沒合眼了。

“Is it okay if I go to sleep?” I ask.

 

 

“Sleep. Sleep,” Dave tells me. “We’ve got things covered and this story is just starting.”

 

“睡覺去，睡覺去，”大衛說。“這兒的活兒有人干，故事才開始。”

 I stagger across the hall and push open the door of my apartment. I collapse on the bed in

my bloodstained clothes and fall into a deep sleep.

 

我跌跌撞撞地走在過道上，打開公寓門，連血衣都來不及脫，就一頭倒在床上，沉

沉地睡着了。