1.  If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.

2.  What makes men chase women they have no intention of marring?

      The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

3.  Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

      They are hard to get started,emit foul odors,and don't work half the time.

4.  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

     One. Men will screw anything.

5.  Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?

     Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole