From Book "The Imitation of Christ" Book 2, Chapter 11:

 JESUS has always many who love His heavenly kingdom, but few who bear His

 cross. He has many who desire consolation, but few who care for trial. He finds many to

 share His table, but few to take part in His fasting. All desire to be happy with Him; few

 wish to suffer anything for Him. Many follow Him to the breaking of bread, but few to

 the drinking of the chalice of His passion. Many revere His miracles; few approach the

 shame of the Cross.

Lord, if it is your will for me to carry the daily cross and that is the way you put me through trials for patience and endurance, your will be done!

My 4 years old daughter was suddenly harsh to my dad last night, I reproached her, told her to respect grandpa seriously. At night before sleep, I told her it broke my heart if she treat my dad poorly. Then she told me the reason which was pretty shocking - my dad was yelling at my son and was really mean too when there were only my son and my daugther in the morning when my husband went to walk the dog.

I was really upset and got insomnia, the first 3 years of my son's life was with my parents, who have been over-protective(my mom) and nagging and yelling(my dad) all the time, contributed the major factor that he has been so intimidated by the outside world and still working on his self-esteem issues today. I thought:"This does it! I told him a few times and he promised not do that anymore.". Filled with anger I was weaving my words together and decided that I'll have to make hard decisions if my dad doesn't back off even I talk to him again. I imagined like a drama how huge he would react if I asked him again (at the moment I was pretty angry, so I imagined I would snap at him) to guard his mouth on my son as he promised.

 Then I remembered Jesus on the cross, and the title for that is "LOVE". Also the 40 days in the wilderness that he has spent with Satan - I would really love to learn how he has stayed calm with Satan tempting him all the time – I know I am about to sin after anger if I don’t come to the Lord for help! I prayed:"Lord, guide me, tell me verses on what I should do to handle a person that is still in sin kept getting to my nerve and pushing me to the highest limit of tolerance."

Lord gave me 2 verses:

ESV Pro 12:13 "An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous escapes from trouble."

ESV Pro 12:25 "Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad."

 (Later on I learned the good word is LOVE when I said:"I love you, dad!" and hugged him full heartedly.)

At first I thought the "transgression of his lips" was talking about my dad, I thought "yes, for sure he will be punished by God". But then I realized it would have been a verse like "The revenge is on me", etc. (chuckle), these are the verses to me, God must wanted to tell me something on what to do next. Pondering more I knew God was trying to lecture me to not just throw out any hurtful words at my dad without second thought. I decided to wait till the timing is right to talk to him.

 Next day I was praying for the right timing, and I kept reminding myself - if I were to do it, I do it out of the love for everyone, not just being protective of my son and take offense toward my dad. Praise the Lord, he gave me the wisdom to find the right timing and using the right approach to talk to my dad. Basically a few steps:

 1) Facts: Lay down the facts on what happened and what I do not like that happened. (what, where, when it happened, it was like treating a child, if I don't give specifics, my dad would say:"I didn't do it.”. What I do not like - yelling and nagging.)

2) Validating: his intention was good and his mistake is understandable, Self Critisize. (Humble facts – Admit my son was not well taught when he was little, it was easy to get a grown up angry with situations, both I and his dad couldn't help yelling and being mean sometimes, we are working on it too and try to remind each other whenever we could.).

3) Emphasize Love: Stay positive with Love words (Big Hug!!! Then say:”You know I do love you and want to live with you as you wished, we got to communicate to make this work so we can live together more happily.”).

4) Expectations: to change with everyone's effort together (You know the most important thing for my son is to rebuild his self-esteem, so we should all remind each other and keep our mouth shut when we know it is going to turn into a personal attack and hurt his feelings. Always stay positive and praise him, or punish for his misbehaving taking away the things he likes to do if he does not behave, such as play dates, gifts, instead of yelling - the ideas from <> worked perfect on my son. Leave it to me the handle the punishment but I do need your help to just walk away without nagging.)

Praise the Lord my dad did have changed as well after my mom passed away, he calmly listened and kept saying:"Communication is good, I like to hear your side of opinion so I know where I did wrong and could change.".

I have never understood this verse till today from my devotions:

 ESV Pro 14:4 "Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox."

Like the Lord said, my dad will be saved as well in the future (he is under my household, that's why I got to Thank God for the best arrangement and can't simply deny him to live with us), I just have to keep up the "cleaning of manger" to get "abundant crops" eventually one day at God's timing!

 ESV Act 16:31 They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved--you and your household."