青柳诊所手记42

艾默生说：“我的花园小铲可以疗愈我所有的伤痛（All my hurts my garden spade can heal）.”

父亲生前也来过我们诊所的花园。他曾经说：“你们应该在这里种点桑树或枸杞什么的，我有时间就帮你们维护一下。”

现在我们种的桑树和枸杞都已经枝繁叶茂了，可是父亲在哪里呢？

6月16日，星期天，父亲节。这是我过的第二个没有父亲的父亲节。时不时，我会侧头去瞥一眼花园，仿佛他就站在哪个角落里朝我们微笑着。

尽管什么广告都没有做，我们的诊所一直在稳步发展着。在我们的眼里，世界上不可能有哪个诊所比我们的更可爱更温馨的了。虽然诊疗室非常小，在里面转一个身都困难。但这些小小的不便和局限在我们芬芳美丽的花园面前完全可以忽略不计了。

我们在花园里已经做了不少果树和中草药了。那天猛然发现其中一棵桑树上已经结满了红色的桑葚。我和大师兄都惊喜得睁大了眼睛。我摘了一颗紫红色的扔进嘴里。啊，我的天，世界上还有比这更甘美的果实吗？

大师兄种植的薰衣草早就开花了。阿里医生是我们的园艺导师。他帮我们培植的玫瑰也绽放了不少。刚摘下来的第一朵，我当然供放在父亲的遗像前。头几天有个患者的父亲去世了，我们摘了几朵玫瑰请她丈夫带给她。有个患者最近很忧伤，我们也摘了一朵金色的玫瑰送给她。没有花瓶，我们就用一个纸杯子装着花。

白天上班没时间管理花园，大师兄有时下了班在园里干活干到天黑。有几次我也冒着大雨去园子里给来急诊的病人采摘草药。我们种的那些枸杞，长得多活泼水灵啊。好些次我们都将修剪下来的枝条送给朋友们去煮汤喝。到目前为止，这个小小的花园已经给不少人带来了惊喜，谁说它不是跟我们肩并肩的一个亲密的疗愈伙伴呢？

最近的天气时晴时雨，温度比往年低多了。这天一个来自于埃塞俄比亚的人第一次到我们的诊所来。大师兄给他推拿，我不过是热了一个中药包放在他脚旁而已。治疗到一半的时候，我过来问他感觉怎么样，他说：“我感觉好得要哭了。”

这么冷的一个阴雨天，他从城中心坐公车到我们这里，往返至少要三个小时吧？临走时他非要多给我们二十元钱，我们不肯要，他合掌笑着说：“从现在开始，我们就是一家人了。” 望着他的背影离去时，我感觉到有泪珠在脸上流。

有时我们也带小孩子在花园里看一看走一走。有些人问：做中医的能够帮小孩子做什么呢？

我们能做的可多了：刮痧，拔罐，推拿，中药，做气功和瑜伽，帮助他们提高免疫力，对付感冒、过敏、哮喘、焦虑…..在花园里，我给他们看那满树的苹果、李子和梨，让他们触摸那戴着露水的金银花。

试过拔罐的小孩子似乎都特别喜欢。

有一个三岁的小男孩聚精会神地看着我拔罐，然后一本正经地提出疑问：“好奇怪啊，这些罐子怎么没被火熔化呢？”

一个六岁的妹妹和九岁的哥哥第一次来拔罐。我问他们谁先上，妹妹抢先举起了手。拔到一半的时候，趴着的她对在一旁紧张观看的哥哥嘻嘻笑着说：“有什么了不起呢，不过就是一点火而已！ ”

我治疗一个母亲时，她四岁的女儿总是站在我的跟前一眼不眨地看着我的一举一动。治疗完后，她问母亲：“妈妈，你感觉好一些了吗？”

妈妈说：“当然，亲爱的，安娜医生是一个很棒的疗愈师！”

“那我呢？”这个金发小女孩歪着脑袋用闪亮的眼睛看着她。

母亲弯腰给她一个吻，笑答：“你当然也是，亲爱的。你也是一个很棒的疗愈师！”

其实，我们都是很棒的疗愈师，难道不是吗？

我们的病人中也有不少是青少年。

那天一个热爱音乐的才17岁的年轻患者告诉我说，他讨厌人，觉得在这个俗世讨生活是非常没有意思的一件事。他问我如何才能拥有一个既快乐而又不妥协的人生。我带他在园子里默默地走了一圈，然后就把我写的这首诗送给他了：

乞讨

天蒙蒙亮，我就光脚启程去乞讨

我的托钵是一只竹碗，摇摇晃晃挂在脖子上

我经过许多城市和村庄

每张门，都在我刚刚赶到时砰然关上了

我乞讨的不过是一点爱和欢乐

但谁都没有多余的一勺

一个精灵招手叫我过去——

跟鸟儿、蜜蜂、小草、森林和野兽站成一排

递给我们她早已备好的礼物

分给那些远道而来的面色忧戚的阴影们

黑夜来临

我吹着口哨 踩着野菊花的芬芳回家

我的托钵那时已装满了我要的东西

但那不是乞讨得来的

Whispering of Willows (42)

By Dr. Anna Zhao (https://whisperingwillowclinic.com)

Emerson says: “All my hurts my garden spade can heal.”

My father had a chance to visit our clinic garden before he passed away. He once said, "You should plant some mulberry trees or goji berries here; if I have time, I come to give you a hand."

Now the mulberry trees and goji berries are lush and green, but where is my father?

June 16, Sunday, Father's Day. This is the second Father's Day that I spent without my father. From time to time, I turn my head to glance at the garden, wishing he would be standing in the corner, beaming.

Though we do little in terms of advertisement, our clinic has been developing steadily. In our eyes, there can be no clinic in the world that is more lovely and dear than ours. Our treatment rooms are tiny, making it even difficult to turn around in them. But these small inconveniences and limitations are completely negligible in front of our fragrant and lovely garden, surrounded by Angels and Buddhas.

Many fruit trees and herbal medicines have been planted. A few days ago, to our great joy, we spotted red mulberries appearing on one of the branches. I could not resist so I nipped a purple-red one and threw it into my mouth. Oh, Lord, is there any fruit in the world that is sweeter and tastier than this?

The lavender planted by Dr. Daniel is showing its glory under the blue sky. Our garden guru is Dr. Ali, of course. Some of the roses that he helped us plant have also bloomed. The first one I picked I put in front of my dad’s portrait. A few days ago, a patient's father passed away, so we picked a few roses and asked her husband to bring them to her. Having a patient going through a difficult time, prompted our selecting a golden rose in the yard for her. No vases, we used disposable paper cups instead.

We have no time to manage the garden during the daytime when we are at work. Sometimes, Dr. Daniel toils under moonlight after work. There were times I dashed into the garden in heavy rain, picking a few fresh herbs to boil for patients. The goji berries are flourishing, and we trim the twigs and give them to friends to make soup. So far, our small garden has brought wonderful surprises to many people. Who says the garden is not our healing partner, working with us intimately, shoulder to shoulder?

The weather is changeable these days, and it still feels cool in mid June. Today, a man from Ethiopia came to our clinic for the first time. Dr. Daniel gave him a massage, and all I did for him was placing a heated herbal bag by his feet. Half way through the treatment, I came over and asked how he was doing, all he said was: “So good I feel like crying.”

On such a cold and rainy day, this man took transit all the way from downtown to come to our clinic. It must have taken him maybe three hours for the round trip? Before leaving, he insisted on giving us an extra 20 dollars. We declined, and put it back in his pocket. With a warm smile he folded his hands and said, "From now on, we are a family." As we watched him leave, I realized tears were running on my face.

Sometimes we take children to have a tour in the garden. You may ask: “What can Traditional Chinese Medicine do to help children?”

We can do much: guasha, cupping, massage, herbal medicine, qigong and yoga, to help improve their immunity and deal with colds, allergies, asthma, anxiety... In the garden, I show them the trees laden with apples, pears or plums, and let them touch the freshly opened honeysuckle covered with dew.

Children who have tried cupping seem to like it very much.

A three-year-old boy watched me cupping without blinking, and then asked with great curiosity, "How come the cups are not melting by the fire?"

A six-year-old sister and a nine-year-old brother came for cupping for the first time. When I asked them who would go first, the sister rushed to raise her hand. Halfway through the treatment, she giggled, lying on her stomach, and comforted her brother who seemed a little nervous, "No big deal! It's just a little fire!"

When I treated a young mother, her four-year-old daughter often stands by watching intensively my every move. One day after the treatment, she asked: "Mommy, do you feel any better?"

The mother replied: "Of course, honey, Dr. Anna is a great healer!"

"What about me?" The little blond girl tilted her head at her, showing her sparkling blue eyes.

The mother bent down and gave her a kiss, smiling: "Of course you are too, honey. You are also a great healer yourself!"

She is right, we are all great healers ourselves, especially when we heal with love.  If we believe so, we are – both healers and love.

Some of our patients are teenagers.

A 17-year-old patient, with a gift for music, told me that he dislikes to associate with people and begging a living in this world seems meaningless and humiliating. He asked me how to lead a happy and uncompromising life, or if there even is such a thing. I took him for a walk in the garden, and then sent him this poem I wrote:

Begging

Hardly dawn, I was on my way begging, barefoot;

Dangling on my neck, a bamboo alms-bowl.

Hamlets and cities fleeting by,

each door shut abruptly upon my arrival.

What I begged for was a little love and joy

but none had a spoonful to spare.

A goblin beckoned me over,

queuing me with birds, bees, grass, forest and wild beasts.

handing us the gifts she long prepared

to offer to those dismal shadows from afar.

Night fell

I headed home,

whistling along the chrysanthemum scented trail,

alms-bowl filled,

but not from begging.