1:

"Hello,doctor, was my operation a success?"
"Sorry mate, my name's Saint Peter."

(“适所施疗或可痊我？祈太医明告。”“歉哉！吾非太医，圣彼得也。”)

2:

"What is a cow after it is five years old?"
"I don't know."
"Six years old."

（“牛五岁将何变？”“不知也。”“六岁矣。”）

3:

Did you hear about the glowworm that died trying to make love to a lighted cigar?

（传萤火之虫有争交初燃卷艾而毙者，亦事之奇尔。）

4:

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

（事既可翌，莫争今朝。）