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俞先生创造了一个宏大社会科学理论体系,无论学术界是否鉴定,可确信此理论体系成立。  
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请英文好网友帮忙修改译文 2014-12-13 09:10:34
 

以下是本人4年前替一家公司翻译的一篇网络博文。如果有网友英文水平高,请提出修改意见。哪怕是针对一个自然段提出修改意见也可。本人愿意学习。欢迎指正。谢谢。

 

 

网友们你们不要被这个人小人骗钱,他是个赌鬼,骗了我姐姐很多钱,114557067.1933678027.1448207628.千万不要上当,不是男人的人...甩逼男人,不要脸吃女人的用女人的,没有用的人,所有人都知道他没有用,身边没有人看的起他这个不要脸的男人,骗子,贱  ,贱。

Online friends, do not be defrauded by this base person of your money. He is a gambler and has defrauded my elder sister of a lot of money of her. 114557067.1933678027.1448207628. Never let yourself be fooled. A person who is not a man is a foolish man. He is a shameless person who eats the foods of a woman and uses the things of a woman. He is a useless person. All know that he is useless. Nobody around him thinks highly of him, a shameless man, a defrauder, because he is mean, mean.

不要脸的骗子。

A shameless defrauder.

他还我毁了一生,他的所有罪行,所有人知道,还有派出所也去了无数次,他欠钱不还,什么毒是吃女人喝女人的,

He has also ruined all my life. All his crimes are known by all. In addition, he has gone to the police station for countless times. He fails to repay the money he owes. All he eats and drinks are provided by a woman.

连抽烟,买衣服钱都没有,用我信用卡,我身边所有人都知道,他没有朋友,连亲人都看不起他,一个烂赌鬼把家里房子卖了,还和老婆在外害人,

He even has no money to buy cigarettes and clothes. He uses my credit card. All around me know that he has no friend. Even his relatives look down upon him. A down-and-out gambler has even sold the house of his family. He and his wife even victimize others outside.

我姐姐在被他一次次利用,他没有钱就知道找我姐姐,现在债还乐,想害我姐,一次次不守信用,还被派出所人说他不是好东西,

My elder sister is utilized by him time and again. Once he has run out of money, he will refer to my elder sister. Now as the debt has been paid out, he thinks of victimizing my elder sister. He fails to keep his promise time and again. He even gets into such a situation that the men from the police station said that he was not a good guy.

现在他想找化工方面的工作,希望全世界不要被他骗了,我姐姐那么帮他,为他抛下一切,

Now he wants to seek a job in the respect of chemical industry. I hope that the whole world will not be cheated by him. My elder sister discarded all in order to make such an effort to help him.

现在他毁我姐姐一生,我希望朋友替我姐姐讨回公道,人在做,天在看,一切他们会有报应,骗我姐姐的私房钱,不知道亏欠我姐姐多少,

Now he has ruined all life of my elder sister. I hope that my friends can do justice for my elder sister. The man is acting and the heaven is watching. He will have the retribution for all of these matters. He defrauds my elder sister of her private savings. Nobody knows how much he owes to my elder sister.

现在我姐姐被害住医院,还在抢救,他简直不是人,一个狗不如的畜生,只会躲在女人裤裆的贱人,他身边所有朋友都劝我姐姐被他骗钱还不知道,还被搞得住院为这样的人,我实在看不过去为我姐姐公布这个虚伪的人卑鄙的行为,马上我们还要为我姐姐上法制现场,让这种人一切罪行公布全世界!

Now my elder sister is hospitalized because of being victimized. She is still being rescued. He is simply not a man. He is a beast and he is even not as good as a dog. He is a base person able to do nothing but to hide himself under the trouser seat of a woman. All friends around him dissuade my elder sister from being defrauded by him of her money unknowingly. She even gets into such a situation of being hospitalized for such a man. I really cannot bear the sight of this and want to publicize the base act of such a hypocritical man for my elder sister. We will soon go to the site of the legal system for my elder sister so that all the crimes of such a man are publicized to the whole world!

(备注:非本人所发,帮朋友发的,只希望各为朋友帮忙,谢谢》)

(Remarks: Not published by the author herself. Instead it is published by a friend of her. It is only hoped that all friends can give a hand. Thanks.)

 

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作者:Pascal 留言时间:2014-12-14 18:34:11
谢谢俞先生指正。尽管没有文字明确表述,再看前半句,未言之意却是去一次就被拘留一次,直至无数次的被拘留,而绝对不是什么被问话、被传讯、被警告、被勒令、被恫吓、
被呵斥、被诈供。

言多必失,字多必误,漏洞百出,败笔连篇,让俞先生见笑,还请随时、随意、随情绪、
随心境地就原本就是仅供参考的拙文逐字驳斥、逐句批判。

另,难怪开博以来从未见过正牌货美国工科教授的发言,按名索骥,原来是歇笔十个月,
宅家忙着 —— 手抽筋呢。呵呵。谢谢教授同志的重要批示。
回复 | 0
作者:起码货美国工科教授. 留言时间:2014-12-14 17:21:05
中美两国的文化不同,很多东西只能翻译个大概。
在大部分情况下,用计算机翻译就足够了。比如
“助理教授,教授,市长,退休工资”等等的词,
你翻译得再精确,中美两国的意思还是不一样的。

两位老兄太较真了!!!
回复 | 0
作者:俞先生 留言时间:2014-12-14 09:14:50
还有,他去了派出所几次,应该是指被派出所抓去几次。不应该是被召唤去派出所几次。所以,本人的译文中就没有这个表示,而是被detained。就是拘留。个人觉得,准备表达原文是首要条件。
回复 | 0
作者:俞先生 留言时间:2014-12-14 09:07:18
谢谢以上Pascal的指正。你运用的词汇比我更丰富。这一点应该向你学习。

本人应客人的要求翻译。通常就是逐字逐句翻译。如果句型结构变动大,客人可能会提出问题。那天争论的焦点就是句型结构。我是将句型重新组合翻译的。原文中是几个短的中文句子。我看可以组合成一个长句子。他要求用短句子。就是一个一个的独立的短句子。声称英文的句子结构也是短句子。和中文一样。这是本人不能苟同的。
回复 | 0
作者:Pascal 留言时间:2014-12-14 00:14:33
不要脸的骗子。

You brazen bamboozler. / An impudent swindler.

余华 “ China in Ten Words " 一书中的第十个词 —— 忽悠,由译者美国人定稿为:
bamboozle.

他还我毁了一生,他的所有罪行,所有人知道,还有派出所也去了无数次,他欠钱不还,什么毒是吃女人喝女人的,

He has also ruined all my life. All his misdemeanors and crimes are well known to everybody. Besides, he has been summoned to go to the local police station for countless times. A deadbeat as he is, all of his boarding and lodging are intrusively dependent upon a woman.

( 这是几句语无伦次的表达。)请看《美国之音》网站中 deadbeat 一词的使用:

http://www.51voa.com/Voa_English_Learning/Learn_A_Word_22399.html

英语习惯说,be well known to everybody 不信,请查阅:

https://www.google.ca/?gfe_rd=ctrl&ei=eUQdU4HlH4mN8Qfx7IHABg&gws_rd=cr#q=well+known+to+everybody

连抽烟,买衣服钱都没有,用我信用卡,我身边所有人都知道,他没有朋友,连亲人都看不起他,一个烂赌鬼把家里房子卖了,还和老婆在外害人,

He himself can't afford even cigarettes and clothes and has had to use my credit card. All of my friends and acquaintances are well aware of the fact that being friendless and looked down upon by his relatives, such a down-and-out gambler like him sold out of the house of his family and is still doing harm to other innocent people with his wife.

随着一段段细看下来,那位高中白人好像并没有刻意制造冤假错案。当然,他肯定要言过其词,故意夸张。
回复 | 0
作者:Pascal 留言时间:2014-12-13 22:21:32
Mind you Netizens, do not get defrauded of your hard-earned money by this little scoundrel, who is nothing but a hardened gambler, having had cheated my elder sister out of a lot of her money. Never let yourself be fooled by this unmanly, nonsensical and good-for-nothing deadbeat, sponging on his woman shamelessly. Everyone around him shows no respect at all for that worthless hoodwinker, who is nothing short of being mean and nasty all the time.

甩逼: 南京话

吃软饭的男人:http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/trans/2013-04/12/content_16396684.htm

通篇都是泼妇/泼男骂骂咧咧,所以,切忌书面语,切忌文绉绉,借以体现淋漓尽致的痛快感。尽管中文前后都是一个骗字,英文尽量替换其它近义词使用,以避免词汇贫乏、语言干瘪、呆板的感觉。俞先生译文乍看可以,细究起来,是有一点儿那位高中毕业程度的白人所言的中式味道。不会是使用谷哥一秒钟完成中翻英之后,再把英文捋顺了吧。中英两种文字,句句对应,看似精准,读起来,就有点儿不是英文习惯表达的那个味儿。有时,不妨打散中文结构,重新组合,或替换、或颠倒、或倒装。

后面的段落,仍在继续中。

另请参阅英文翻译由母语专家字斟句酌、千锤百炼、绝对忠实于中文、又绝对属于地道英文习惯的语录翻译这一段中五种人的绝妙处理:

白求恩同志毫不利己专门利人的精神,表现在他对工作的极端的负责任,对同志对人民的极端的热忱。每个共产党员都要学习他。……我们大家要学习他毫无自私自利之心的精神。从这点出发,就可以变为大有利于人民的人。一个人能力有大小,但只要有这点精神,就是一个高尚的人,一个纯粹的人,一个有道德的人,一个脱离了低级趣味的人,一个有益于人民的人。

——《纪念白求恩》(一九三九年十二月二十一日),《毛泽东选集》第二卷第六五三——六五四页

Comrade Bethune's spirit, his utter devotion to others without any thought of self, was shown in his boundless sense of responsibility in his work and his boundless warm-heartedness towards all comrades and the people. Every Communist must learn from him. We must all learn the spirit of absolute selflessness from him. With this spirit everyone can be very useful to the people. A man's ability may be great or small, but if he has this spirit, he is already noble-minded and pure, a man of moral integrity and above vulgar interests, a man who is of value to the people.

― "In Memory of Norman Bethune" (December 21, 1939), Selected Works, Vol. II, pp. 337-38.*

顺便请看一眼与此无关的修正案例,同本篇一样,都是仅供十年下来如此辛苦坚持翻译为生的俞先生参考而已:

http://blog.creaders.net/educationalquest/user_blog_diary.php?did=199652
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