與妻書 (二） 林覺民 A Letter to My Wife（2） Lin Juemin 吾真真不能忘汝也！回憶后街之屋，入門穿廊，過前後廳，又三四折，有小廳，廳旁一室，為吾與汝雙棲之所。初婚三四個月，適冬之望日前後，窗外疏梅篩月影，依稀掩映；吾與汝並肩攜手，低低切切，何事不語？何情不訴？及今思之，空餘淚痕。又回憶六七年前，吾之逃家復歸也，汝泣告我：“望今後有遠行，必以告妾，妾願隨君行。”吾亦既許汝矣。前十餘日回家，即欲乘便以此行之事語汝，及與汝相對，又不能啟口，且以汝之有身也，更恐不勝悲，故惟日日呼酒買醉。嗟夫！當時余心之悲，蓋不能以寸管形容之。 I truly cannot forget you. I remember the house behind the alley— Entering through the corridor, Passing the front and rear halls, Turning three or four times, There was a small hall, And beside it, a room where we nested together. Three or four months after our wedding, Around the time of the winter full moon, Sparse plum blossoms filtered moonlight through the window— Soft shadows, faintly veiled. We sat side by side, hand in hand, Speaking in whispers, No topic left untouched, no feeling left unspoken. Now, thinking back, only tear stains remain. I also remember six or seven years ago, When I fled home and then returned. You wept and said to me: “If you ever travel far again, tell me— I wish to go with you.” I promised you then. Ten days ago, when I returned home, I wanted to tell you of this journey, But when I saw you, I could not speak. And knowing you were pregnant, I feared you could not bear the sorrow. So I drank day after day, Trying to drown my grief. Ah! The sorrow in my heart then Could not be captured by any word. ≈========================================= 吾誠願與汝相守以死，第以今日事勢觀之，天災可以死，盜賊可以死，瓜分之日可以死，奸官污吏虐民可以死，吾輩處今日之中國，國中無地無時不可以死。到那時使吾眼睜睜看汝死，或使汝眼睜睜看吾死，吾能之乎？抑汝能之乎？即可以不死，而離散不相見，徒使兩地眼成穿而骨化石，試問古來幾曾見破鏡能重圓？則較死為苦也，將奈之何？今日吾與汝幸雙健。天下人不當死而死與不願離而離者，不可數計，鍾情如我輩者，能忍之乎？此吾所以敢率性就死不顧汝也。吾今死無餘憾，國事成不成自有同志者在。依新已五歲，轉眼成人，汝其善撫之，使之肖我。汝腹中之物，吾疑其女也，女必像汝，吾心甚慰。或又是男，則亦教其以父志為志，則吾死後尚有二意洞在也。幸甚，幸甚！吾家後日當甚貧，貧無所苦，清靜過日而已。 I truly wished to live and die with you. But in today’s world, One may die from natural disaster, From bandits, From the day our nation is carved apart, From corrupt officials who torment the people. In today’s China, There is no place, no time, where death is not possible. When that day comes, Would I watch you die with open eyes? Or would you watch me die? Could I bear it? Could you? Even if we do not die, We may be torn apart, never to meet again— Two places, two gazes turned to stone. Tell me: Has any shattered mirror ever truly been made whole again? That pain is worse than death. What can be done? Today, we are both still well. Yet countless people die who should not die, Are parted who wish not to part. Can lovers like us endure such fate? This is why I dare to follow my will and embrace death, Even if it means leaving you behind. I die with no regrets. Whether our cause succeeds or fails, Others will carry it forward. Yixin is five now—soon he will be grown. Raise him well, let him resemble me. The child in your womb— I suspect she is a girl. If she is like you, my heart will be comforted. If it is a boy, Teach him to take up his father’s cause. Then even after death, I will have two Yidongs in the world. How fortunate, how fortunate! Our family will be poor in days to come— But poverty is no sorrow. Live simply and peacefully. |
