与妻书 (二） 林觉民 A Letter to My Wife（2） Lin Juemin 吾真真不能忘汝也！回忆后街之屋，入门穿廊，过前后厅，又三四折，有小厅，厅旁一室，为吾与汝双栖之所。初婚三四个月，适冬之望日前后，窗外疏梅筛月影，依稀掩映；吾与汝并肩携手，低低切切，何事不语？何情不诉？及今思之，空余泪痕。又回忆六七年前，吾之逃家复归也，汝泣告我：“望今后有远行，必以告妾，妾愿随君行。”吾亦既许汝矣。前十余日回家，即欲乘便以此行之事语汝，及与汝相对，又不能启口，且以汝之有身也，更恐不胜悲，故惟日日呼酒买醉。嗟夫！当时余心之悲，盖不能以寸管形容之。 I truly cannot forget you. I remember the house behind the alley— Entering through the corridor, Passing the front and rear halls, Turning three or four times, There was a small hall, And beside it, a room where we nested together. Three or four months after our wedding, Around the time of the winter full moon, Sparse plum blossoms filtered moonlight through the window— Soft shadows, faintly veiled. We sat side by side, hand in hand, Speaking in whispers, No topic left untouched, no feeling left unspoken. Now, thinking back, only tear stains remain. I also remember six or seven years ago, When I fled home and then returned. You wept and said to me: “If you ever travel far again, tell me— I wish to go with you.” I promised you then. Ten days ago, when I returned home, I wanted to tell you of this journey, But when I saw you, I could not speak. And knowing you were pregnant, I feared you could not bear the sorrow. So I drank day after day, Trying to drown my grief. Ah! The sorrow in my heart then Could not be captured by any word. ≈========================================= 吾诚愿与汝相守以死，第以今日事势观之，天灾可以死，盗贼可以死，瓜分之日可以死，奸官污吏虐民可以死，吾辈处今日之中国，国中无地无时不可以死。到那时使吾眼睁睁看汝死，或使汝眼睁睁看吾死，吾能之乎？抑汝能之乎？即可以不死，而离散不相见，徒使两地眼成穿而骨化石，试问古来几曾见破镜能重圆？则较死为苦也，将奈之何？今日吾与汝幸双健。天下人不当死而死与不愿离而离者，不可数计，钟情如我辈者，能忍之乎？此吾所以敢率性就死不顾汝也。吾今死无余憾，国事成不成自有同志者在。依新已五岁，转眼成人，汝其善抚之，使之肖我。汝腹中之物，吾疑其女也，女必像汝，吾心甚慰。或又是男，则亦教其以父志为志，则吾死后尚有二意洞在也。幸甚，幸甚！吾家后日当甚贫，贫无所苦，清静过日而已。 I truly wished to live and die with you. But in today’s world, One may die from natural disaster, From bandits, From the day our nation is carved apart, From corrupt officials who torment the people. In today’s China, There is no place, no time, where death is not possible. When that day comes, Would I watch you die with open eyes? Or would you watch me die? Could I bear it? Could you? Even if we do not die, We may be torn apart, never to meet again— Two places, two gazes turned to stone. Tell me: Has any shattered mirror ever truly been made whole again? That pain is worse than death. What can be done? Today, we are both still well. Yet countless people die who should not die, Are parted who wish not to part. Can lovers like us endure such fate? This is why I dare to follow my will and embrace death, Even if it means leaving you behind. I die with no regrets. Whether our cause succeeds or fails, Others will carry it forward. Yixin is five now—soon he will be grown. Raise him well, let him resemble me. The child in your womb— I suspect she is a girl. If she is like you, my heart will be comforted. If it is a boy, Teach him to take up his father’s cause. Then even after death, I will have two Yidongs in the world. How fortunate, how fortunate! Our family will be poor in days to come— But poverty is no sorrow. Live simply and peacefully. |
