看到马黑的《紧急通知》，记起了前两日因冰雪灾而被迫宅了几天的娇贵美国南方人（俺算一个哈）的一则情人节搞笑幽默。原来佐治亚州 Oconee 县的警长为消除无聊提高士气而在“非死不可”上发了这样一条告示：

The Oconee County County Sheriffs Office announces that Valentines Day has been CANCELLED from a line North of I-16 to the Georgia/Tennessee border.
Men who live in the designated "NO VALENTINES DAY ZONE" are exempt from having to run out and buy lottery scratchers and Hershey bars from the corner stores until February 18, 2014, due to ice, snow, freezing rain.

此“告示”引起了轰动，各主流媒体纷纷报道，为无奈的气候增添了一丝 silver lining. （登录 https://www.facebook.com/oconeesheriff 看更油墨的回复！）

呆七郎一看到此告示，马上表示坚决执行：本情人节不提供红玫瑰！

七嫂气得一晚上生闷气，致使她第二日（情人节）一早到处找不到给员工买的爱心巧克力，硬是罚七郎碾着马路上的残冰，去超市重购！

（男生们记住：太太们是不能得罪滴；她们永远不会忘事，更不会有错!）

下面是CNN的报道:

Georgia sheriff cancels Valentine's Day because of snow -- and boredom

By Ben Brumfield, CNN, updated 7:46 AM EST, Thu February 13, 2014

(CNN) -- By pronouncement of the sheriff, there will be no Valentine's Day this Friday. That is, if you live in Georgia, north of Interstate 16 and have to drive to get a gift.

Oconee County Sheriff Scott Berry has designated northern Georgia a "NO VALENTINES DAY ZONE" in a post on the department's Facebook page Wednesday night.

Men are "exempt from having to run out and buy lottery scratchers and Hershey bars from the corner stores until February 18, 2014, due to ice, snow, freezing rain," the tongue-in-cheek post said.

It's all in fun. But rescheduling the festival of lovers to Tuesday would give the ice storm-battered region time to get roads back to normal and make Valentine's a safer affair.

Cutting the monotony

Though it sounds like a pretty practical safety suggestion to motorists, it was more likely something else that drove Sheriff Berry to the decision.

"I think he was just trying to cut the monotony," dispatcher John Ogle told CNN.

Deputies have been practically snowed in at the office for a marathon 34-hour shift, and the sheriff wanted to give them something to smile at, Ogle said.

But not just them.

"I think he was just trying to give our spouses a little laugh," he said.

Ogle's spouse was unimpressed.

"My wife told me it didn't apply."

No excuses

Women, who saw the Facebook post, lined up to playfully oppose the sheriff's order.

'No excuses!' was their refrain.

"Not my man cause it is my birthday also," commented Glenda Robertson, "so he is not going to get away with this excuse lol."

Men, predictably, backed the lawman.

"T H A N K Y O U !" said Ken Darsey's comment, leaping off the page.

"Can you make sure my wife gets a copy of this memo?" wrote Mark Martin.

Other women warned: You knew the day was coming, and you knew the weather forecast. You should've planned ahead.

Ogle, the sheriff's dispatcher, did.

"Mine's covered. I told her her gift is in the top dresser drawer," he said.

But for those who didn't manage a gift due to the ice and snow, commenter Bo Edwards has a suggestion for what they can tell their loved ones:

"It's the thaw(t) that counts...."