这是一部根据Lisa Genova
2007年同名小说“Still
Alice"改编的电影。大陆更忠于原篇名,翻译成《依然爱丽丝》,好像在台湾被翻译成《想念我自己》。
女主人公爱丽丝(Alice)由朱丽安·摩尔(Julianne
Moore)扮演,并因此获得奥斯卡最佳女演员。男主角约翰·摩尔(John Howland)由 亚历克·鲍德温(Alec Baldwin)扮演。
原著小说《Still Alice》封面
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爱丽丝·豪兰
(Alice
Howland) 是哥伦比亚大学语言学(Linguistics) 教授。 50岁的她不仅在所研究领域事业有成,而且有一个非常幸福的家庭。
五十岁那年,爱丽丝发现自己的记忆力越来越差,课堂上讲课不连贯,而且有时拼写不出一些自己应当熟悉的单词。有一天,她还突然在自己最熟悉的地方迷了路。她决定寻求医生帮助,医生的诊断彻底改变了她的生命,也改变了她与家人和世界的关系。她患的是早发型阿尔兹海默病
(Alzheimer's Disease 俗称“老年人痴呆症”)。更糟糕的是,当根据医生的建议,做遗传检查时她发现得知自己患的是非常罕见的常染色体显性遗传型(Autosomal
dominant) 阿尔兹海默病。她不得不把这一不幸的消息告诉丈夫及三个孩子。并对孩子们讲非常难过“我患的是遗传性阿尔兹海默病,因此你们每个人都有一半的可能性有这种基因。至于你们是否选择通过基因检测搞明白,是你们自己的决定”。
这时影片切换到三个孩子震惊与痛苦的表情。她的记忆跟不上遗忘的脚步,她逐渐失去了自己的思想,也失去了与外在世界的连结。但是,在家人的浓浓爱意陪伴下,她勇敢地为每一天而活,为当下而活。
医生向爱丽丝及丈夫约翰介绍病情
尽管影片的场景简单,但通过导演的高超编
排及演员的精湛演技,人物的性格特别时心里刻画非常鲜明深刻。若干场景及对话不仅使人感动,更使人产生联想及共鸣。比如,爱丽丝在海边漫步时关于蝴蝶的对
话。小时候当爱丽丝知道蝴蝶的生命只有几天时难过地落下眼泪。但她的母亲讲生命短暂本身不见的就是悲剧,如果你选择过好在世界上的每一天每一刻,那就是美
丽充实的人生。
女主人公爱丽丝清楚,她毕竟会有一天会连自己是谁都不知道。因此她为自己列出了一些如,姓名,家庭住址,简单单词拼写等简单的问题。她希望一旦到了无法回答这些问题的程度,她会选择有尊严地离开人世。因此她录制了一段指导她完成自杀计划的视频。
“你好爱丽丝,我就是你。我知道现在已经
不能回答这些简单问题了。我告诉你这是你患阿尔兹海默病的原因。你曾经有过非常成功的事业,美好的家庭,三个优秀的孩子。现在我指导你完成下一步计划。首
先确定你身边没有其他人。回到睡房,打开蓝色台灯下的抽屉,拿出小药瓶,把里面的药全部吞下。然后静静地躺在床上。切记不要告诉任何人”。
看到这里会让人心里流泪。自己与影片中主人公是同龄人,而且自己也经常忘事,有时也担心说不定将来自己也会患阿尔兹海默。对因此这段场景不免产生强烈共鸣。
影片最后,小女儿看护她时不断对母亲讲话。这时的爱丽丝已基本不能讲话,失去了意识。但我们似乎还能听到她重复这一个字“Love”。 这也正式是阿尔兹海默病病人超越文化,超越语言,超越疾病的心声。这也会不断提醒我们更加关爱患阿尔兹海默病的病人。
“Hi, Alice.
I'm you. And I have something very important to say to you. Huh...
I guess you've reached that point when you cannot answer any of
your questions. So this is the next logical step. I'm sure of it.
Because what's happening to you, the Alzheimer's - you could see it
as tragic. But your life has been anything but tragic. You've had a
remarkable career, and a great marriage, and three beautiful
children. All right. Listen to me, Alice. This is important. Make
sure that you are alone and go to the bedroom. In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp. Open the top drawer. In the
back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. It says
'take all pills with water'. Now, there are a lot of pills in that
bottle, but it's very important that you swallow them all, okay?
And then, lie down and go to sleep. And don't tell anyone what
you're doing, okay?”
影片的高潮应当是爱丽丝应邀在一次有关阿尔兹海默病研讨会上的演讲。当时她的病已很明显,而她准备这次仅几分钟的演讲需要花了三天时间才能写出来。以下是电影中她演讲的原文:
I will forget today, but that doesn't mean that
today didn't matter.
Good morning. It's an honor to be here. The poet Elizabeth Bishoponce
wrote: 'the Art of Losing isn't hard to master: so many things seem
filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.' I'm
not a poet, I am a person living with Early Onset Alzheimer's, and as
that person I find myself learning the art of losing every day. Losing
my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, but mostly losing memories...
All my life
I've accumulated memories - they've become, in a way, my most
precious possessions. The night I met my husband, the first time I
held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends,
traveling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything
I've worked so hard for - now all that is being ripped away. As you
can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who
can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our
strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other's perception of
us and our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous,
incapable, comic. But this is not who we are, this is our disease.
And like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression, and it
could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our
children - the next generation - do not have to face what I am
facing. But for the time being, I'm still alive. I know I'm alive.
I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my
life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things -
but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And
please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am
struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to
whom I was once. So, 'live in the moment' I tell myself. It's
really all I can do, live in the moment. And not beat myself up too
much... and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of
losing. One thing I will try to hold onto though is the memory of
speaking here today. It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by
tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here, today, like my
old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank
you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank
you.
英文摘译:在我的一生中积累了很多美好记忆,我第一次与我先生相遇的夜晚,第一次在课堂里手捧教课书的瞬间,成功的事业欣慰及国际履行体验,与儿女
一起渡过的美好时光。毫无疑问这些记忆都是我生命里宝贵的财产。但我深知这些美好的记忆已经开始离我而去,并将很快在我大脑里不复存在。不仅如此,我的未
来的言行也会在越来越荒诞可笑。但这里我必须说明,这一切只是我所患疾病的表现,而不是我本人。与其说是我在经受疾病折磨,不如说是我在与疾病抗争!
我的昨天会随风而去,而我的明天无人知晓。那我活着是为什么?我活着就是为了当下,为了宝贵的每一天,每一刻。也许我
明天就会忘记我现在站在这里演讲,但这并不意味这我可以不认真对待此时的每一刻。即使我明天会忘记今天发生的一切,但并不意味这今天不重要。因此,我今天在这里的演讲对我就如拥有这个世界这么重要,尽管现在知道它将很快在我的记忆中消逝。谢谢大家!
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