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文章評論 |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-03-20 18:31:45 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-03-13 07:43:23 |
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"Mastering" is impossible in networking, because it depends not only on one's skill. Keeping one's eyes on the ball in social networking is the only thing one may do -- 不是說“謀事在人，成事在天”嗎？任何事情，都沒有必要追求完美, 也不可能！
BTW, 成功可以追就但不可強究! 成功是幸福的標誌；幸福也算是一種成功。成功的人不一定是最幸福的人，但成功就是成功。俗話說，行行出狀元。即使不是最幸福的人，成了一行的狀元當然算成功。幸福也算是一種成功，但不能算是真正的(from "truly")成功。因為成功是相對很多的不成功而言；不成功的“幸福”卻是幾乎人人都可以有的。世上很少有人願意承認某種失敗，這是心理上的需要。所以說"平安就是福"。本人覺得如果一個人達到了多少年奮鬥的目標，甚至得到大大超過預期的結果，那就是巨大的成功。“甜酸苦辣都嘗過，德高望重美名生。” 當然或許也會有人恭維有人忌恨。世上沒有完美的事，所以絲毫沒有必要追究完美，更不必計較。這一點影響了我對教育的見解。“學而優則仕”在現代來解釋，這個“學”不一定指學堂里的學，這個“仕”也不是官場中的仕。這裡的“優”本人的理解就是指成功。首先是在“學”(主要是自學的能力上，因為只有具備自學的能力才算)上面講優秀，然後是在事業上成功。成功的人比不成功的人或許有更多的敵人，但這是人性使然。當然，在教育上是"千個師傅千個法" -- "All's well that ends well"，看人生是“仁者見仁，智者見智”。不必在意， 更不必計較！ |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-03-12 18:43:45 |
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li15,
Yes,networking is one of the most important skills that people need to master to be truly successful. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-03-12 07:35:26 |
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The first "him/her" should be "he/she" in my last comment, sorry. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-03-12 07:31:45 |
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鶯歌燕語,
As you said, "if kids are raised [raising] by loving, educated and hard-working parents and going to a reasonable school in the States, they would turn out fine even if yu (that is from South) leave them to their own device." I might say that “reasonable school” is not as important as some people think. The child knows that him/her is loved; parents' hard-working tells him/her already what to do. We never have any problem with our son at all. I am sure your daughters are wonderful with you such a lovely, talent and caring mother.
I remember that you mentioned that your daughters playing piano. When our son questioned why I wanted him to play tennis, I said because I did not have chance and I hoped that he had a chance in everything. He learned other sports by himself and exercise everyday and grows a little bit like an athlete. He learned some dance by himself (I mean that we did not even mention to him before he asked for money to pay some dancing classes) and participated in every year's show of the Asia Students Association in college. He played violin in middle and high schools (as the first violinist in middle school and the “co-first” in junior high. That principal tried to keep him by “co-first”, but, he left that high school after he found from a friend about a special residential high recruiting only top students that-state wide with nearly 10 percent graduates going to top private universities and more than 80 percent graduates going to the best public university in that state. That senior high school is a small, public and free in tuition and board at that time but was planning to charge. Though, I do not know whether he would be more successful yet, I hope he would – perhaps, not academically, which is okay with us). He does have a better chance, but, he still have a long way to go. It is up to him. I know that if one does well and makes friends, there may be some people willing to help as in my personal experiences. THIS IS ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT SKILL IN THE SOCIETY.
Your daughters are very young, as in the way you are writing? I read from your another blog that you had lived (or are living) in DC area? I went there in the last October to meet my college roommate, when he came to the world bank conference last year. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-03-07 17:51:44 |
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li15,
You must be a proud parent. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-03-05 10:12:16 |
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鶯歌燕語,
My son is a grown-up with a senior management position at a top 500 place which helps him with time breaks to continue in graduate program without paying in a nearby top public university after he took GRE with an almost perfect score and was offered the manager position more than a half year before he graduated from a top private university with 2 bachelor degrees. He is far away from us, but, we recently sold the house and moved toward his place and settled down nearby (by "god"'s wish). He is very independent; we do not worry about him at all. BTW,we had lived in 4 different states before we finally settled down, my academic career still involves traveling frequently.
However, I do not have time (or interest -- I do not want to be a public person) to start a blog. I just received a message from my roommate in college from Beijing this morning about this issue too. His blog is very populous in China with his fame and position. Again, I will not start a blog. Thank you for saying that, though. Have a nice weekend. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-03-05 06:40:32 |
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li15,
How old is your son now? Did you get any chance to discuss your child raising style with him? May be you should start your own blog and write your experience down.
However, I think if kids are raising by loving, educated and hard-working parents and going to a reasonable school in the States, they would turn out fine even if you leave them to their own device; in fact, they probably would be more successful since they are more independent and mature. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-03-04 12:39:11 |
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鶯歌燕語,
You are welcome. I only do not know if I might say something useful to anybody. Here are more:
專注力：能靜下來, 不受干擾的能力。We always asked our son to keep doing for long enough whenever he started on a task.
韌性：持久力，耐力,百折不饒。Once, he said to me, "You think it's so easy to get all A's there (a top private research university)?" I replied, "I would not remind you of keeping to excel yourself if it is easy."
獨立性：不在乎別人說三道四。
淡泊名利：不記較一時的得失。He actually did much worse the first time when he were away from us in a special kind of high school. I smiled and only said, "See! I told you. You would not be doing as well as you could when we were not there for you everyday." He smiled back and promised that he would do much better because of that mistake (he enjoyed too much freedom the first time by having too many friends). Well, he always did well after that.
We never acted like Tiger mom. We actually always smiled toward him with more encouragement rather than punishment.
We are always very firm though on what he should do. He was allowed to choose any friends, but we paid attention on who they were and asked about his friends occasionally. Having different kinds of friends is actually an important part for a child's future in the society.
I remember that I bought 5 books for us about raising a child and more than 50 picture books for our son before he went to school. He remembered every word in all of those books (without writing) then in China. That explains why he was in a gifted class since the second year in the second grade here in USA. He came to USA one month after the first semester in the first grade.
This is one of the reasons I feel too difficult for me to write down. Too much serious thinking is needed for me. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-03-03 18:29:36 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-27 07:27:27 |
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I do not have time to write down； it would need a lot of serious thinking. Therefore, I just write something here (maybe) first: 少年立志，自尊，自強，獨立性，自制能力，自學能力，隨遇而安的性格，廣泛的興趣，趨於完整的人格，交往能力 (I did not mean 交際), 眼光或洞察力，勇氣，勇於探索的能力。What parents can do is 幫促 ( not only help) 其子女找到她們喜歡的
並能夠達到的人生目標。Of course, no parents can be sure that they do everything correct. 所以說，“盡人事，知天命。”
自學能力! 自學能力猶為重要。 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-27 07:27:13 |
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I do not have time to write down； it would need a lot of serious thinking. Therefore, I just write something here (maybe) first: 少年立志，自尊，自強，獨立性，自制能力，自學能力，隨遇而安的性格，廣泛的興趣，趨於完整的人格，交往能力 (I did not mean 交際), 眼光或洞察力，勇氣，勇於探索的能力。What parents can do is 幫促 ( not only help) 其子女找到她們喜歡的
並能夠達到的人生目標。Of course, no parents can be sure that they do everything correct. 所以說，“盡人事，知天命。”
自學能力! 自學能力猶為重要。 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-27 06:46:20 |
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有人說過﹐"教育的目的是為了培養聖人。" 文革中也提到了類似的一點,不要讀死書和不要死讀書。真正優秀的學生是不太依賴老師的。It depends on one's talent, not only on competence. Today's 聖人: A person who may contribute, with one's talent, to the society significantly. However, the society also needs those who can contribute by hard working. Do not mention that a person who has talent must work hard too.
一般而言，因人 (child, teacher, -- not only child)，因時，因地施教。不光是因材施教。水到渠自成，不拔苗促長恐怕是第一要點。But, discipline is still very important. The question is "how to discipline". |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-02-26 19:32:16 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-25 15:51:13 |
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You might also be interested in the following article, at this creaders.net, in case you had not taken a look:
http://blog.creaders.net/shengleiwu/user_blog_diary.php?did=77762
I usually only read without writing a comment. I did post
a short comment there. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-02-25 05:05:43 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-24 06:37:04 |
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I still do not have time to write, because it is not clear to me what to write. You may be interested in reading an article on sina:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4e37057b0100oizc.html?tj=1 |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-02-17 16:41:00 |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-16 14:26:34 |
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鶯歌燕語,
I am not an educator either(neither am I an educator);though, education is one of my minor interests without any FORMAL TRAINING. The question you asked is beyond I can answer.But, I do not worry about the situation and I AM optimistic. It is not practical or necessary if we want all parents to be able
to do the best for their children. I may try to write down more during my spare time and post another comment in, say, one or two weeks, since I do like the discussion in this category. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-02-16 05:45:41 |
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li15,
Well said!
Do you think Chinese parents as a whole doing a good job raising our kids? I see serious problems as we emphasize too much on academic and other solitary skills such as piano. Risk taking, networking abilities to name a few are far more important than “hard” skills once the youngsters entering the society, even in academic fields.
BTW, I am not an educator neither. It's just truly breaking my heart to watch the way we raise our next generation. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-15 17:47:55 |
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Exactly. Education does not mean only academic
education. Helping youngsters in building their
self confidences, preparing them to be perseverant,
and, supporting them for setting reasonable
expectations and goals in their lives are among
other difficult and important things for parents
and teachers. I guess that the specific methods
or techniques seriously depend on each individual
person. That is where parents may do more than
teachers. (BTW, my field is not in education.) |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-02-14 06:35:12 |
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li15,
Thank you for your comments!
I agree with you that there is no unique way to raise a child.
To be successful, education is essential; however, formal education is not. To become a serious scholar, one also needs abilities beyond academic, unfortunately. This is where our Chinese parents as a whole failed left to right. |
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作者：li15 |
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留言時間：2011-02-11 19:49:36 |
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I worked as a visiting assistant professor at that university that black graduated from. There is some political reason for a black to be in his place,
besides scholarship and talent. But, to be a serious scholar, his education was not good enough.
I do agree that some parents do not know the right way
to help their children in life, but serious discipline
is not the problem. 千個師傅千個法; the answer is not unique. Many Americans do very well in this aspect too,
my former adviser and his wife were examples. There
was an article on the local newspaper about several students in the same area with the pictures of their
son and our son,who were from different schools when
I was finishing my degree. |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-01-30 06:50:52 |
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作者：又一蠻夷 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 20:26:14 |
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那天我在上班的路上也聽了那段 NPR 的節目。“和我奶奶一樣，有一對三寸金蓮”，不過呀，三寸金蓮小，橫量，奶奶孫女就全照顧到了:-) |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 19:45:30 |
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曉竹，
蝦研所放假馬上要結束了，在做準備工作呢。
新年快樂！ |
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作者：曉竹 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 19:28:29 |
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這樣的跳躍性思維很有意思，蝦研所的新方向 :-)
祝你們全家新年快樂，順心如意！ |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 17:12:30 |
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冬兒，
我這准“圍脖”是超膘滴。好像字數不能過一百四吧。
馬黑，
許多人都不會忘記那天。我因為剛從佛羅里達回來，遠遠地見過那架飛船，所以特別關注。 |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 17:08:52 |
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轉悠，
肯定不是乖寶寶，沒人見過像老太太一樣的寶寶吧？
歡笑，
是啊，1月28日的那個爆炸最好永遠不要再見了。 |
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作者：鶯歌燕語 |
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留言時間：2011-01-29 17:05:10 |
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雨露，
我在美國生活的日子比在中國多了。那年我在學校念書，利用寒假，去了一次佛羅里達，見見米老鼠，也去航天中心開開眼。
歐陽，
是啊，這創新精神是越“培養”就越沒了。另外，興趣這東西好像也是一樣，家長越培養，呵呵，就越反感。 |
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