一九九八年春，在我的論文答辯會上，評委們吵起來了，還有一個教過我的女教授哭了。接着他們討論我的論文是不是抄來的。幾個教過我的說，沒見過。院長說：“這還得問導師！”

我的導師黃本和說：“他原來的底稿有一寸多厚，一百來個新公式。我告訴他，挑有把握的說，簡練些，用不着寫那麼多。他挑了十來個公式，論文就變成這樣了。”

院長說：“啊！你幫着改的。”

我導師轉過身了：“我干那個幹嘛！我就改了些錯別字。”

院長笑咧咧地說：“還有錯別字！”

In the spring of 1998, at my dissertation defense, the judges got into a fight and a female professor who had taught me cried. Then they discussed whether my thesis had been copied. Several of those who had taught me said they had never seen it. The dean said: "The thing, we have to ask his advisor!”

My advisor Benhe Huang said: "His original draft was over an inch thick, with a hundred or so new formulas. I told him to pick the ones he was sure of, to be concise, not to write so many. He picked about ten formulas, and the paper turned out like this."

The dean said: "Ah! You helped change it."

My advisor turned around: "What did I do that for! I just corrected some typos."

The dean grinned and said: "And typos!"

我導師和院長吵起來了，砸桌子後，走了。一個老師告訴我，快去拽他回來！答辯會，導師不能缺席。我出去拽他，他說，他們太欺負人了。我說，你就再坐會兒，若不然，我的答辯不就得等下次了。他對我說，“哪兒有不通過的！” 說着，他蹦起來朝屋裡喊，“他的博士生啥樣啊！” 就離開了。

我回到答辯會，評委還有幾個人提問。一個教過我的教授對我說：“你說得夠多了！其它的問題你就回答：沒考慮過。”

院長說：“算了，這個就先放下吧！照這樣超時諍論下去，咱這答辯工作兩個星期也搞不完。叫下一個上台！”

My advisor and the dean got into an argument, slammed the desk, and left. A teacher told me to go drag him back! The advisor can't be absent at a defense meeting. I went out to drag him, but he said, "They're being bullies. I said, "Just sit down for a little while longer, or else my defense will have to wait until next time. He said to me, "There's no such thing as not passing!" With that, he jumped up and yelled into the room, "What about PhD students theirs!" And he left.

I came back to the defense meeting and there were a few more questions from the judges. One of the professors who had taught me said to me, "You've said enough! For the rest of the questions, you just answer haven't thought about it."

The dean said: "Forget it, let's drop this one! If we go on like this, we won't be able to finish the defense in two weeks. Call the next one to the stage!"

8.10-2 無不知而舍 No Unknown is Abandoned

一天，導師黃本和找我談話，說他可以推薦我去一個煤碳研究所，說那兒沒什麼出息，但一輩子穩定。隨後他說：“他們評你的論文為A，你沒什麼感覺，但這A在許多研究生中爭得厲害。咱院這屆的畢業生中出來了幾個好的。可能你也聽說了，有幾個人的碩士論文中有多篇在國內外的期刊發表了。評委給了你個A，卻給他們B，你知道為什麼嗎？”

我表示不知道，沒想過。

導師說：“這我知道！並不是你的論文有多好，這是他們想招你讀他們的博士。”

我回答：“我是分院專科畢業的，各方面的基礎真的很差。”

導師說：“這，他們都知道，已經考慮了你的背景。他們給你A，是開會舉手表決，一致通過的，都對你有信心。這裡面有個原因：科研人員出成果與否，與性格有關。他們認為你有搞科研的性格特質（注2）。你有這性格，如果肯努力用功，你成功的幾率比他們那些好學生高兩、三倍。”

One day, my advisor Huang came to talk to me and said that he could recommend me to go to a coal research institute. He said that there was no future there, but that it would be stable for the rest of my life. Then he said: "They rated your paper as an A. You don't feel much about it, but this A is very competitive among many graduate students. There are several good graduates in our school this year. Maybe you have heard of it, there are several people whose master's thesis has been published in domestic and foreign journals. The judges gave you an A, but they gave them a B. Do you know why?"

I stated that I didn't know and hadn't thought about it.

My advisor said: "I know this! It's not that your dissertation is so good, it's that they want to recruit you for their PhD."

I replied: "I'm a college graduate and have a really poor foundation in all areas."

My advisor said: "That, they all know it and have considered your background. They gave you an A. It was a vote by show of hands at a meeting, and it was unanimous, and they all have confidence in you. There's a reason for this: whether a researcher produces results or not is related to personality. They think you have the traits (note 2) to do research. You have this trait, if you are willing to work hard, your chances of success are two or three times higher than their good students."

注8.10-2，這個適合搞科學研究的特質是什麼？2014年我在寫回憶錄時注意到了這個問題，認為是圖像思維模式，神經質特質，和誠實的綜合體現。這個特質在佛教中被稱作“無不知而舍，無知而不舍”，是神佛十八不共法（參見15.1.3）之一。這個特質被列為了神佛的不共法的原因，作者我認為是神或佛的個人生活經歷使他們的這個特質特別強烈而且名副其實。例如插圖8.10-1至22是墨西哥（亦作雨神，特拉洛克，約活躍在公元1285-1345年，參見第18章）畫的生命之樹（亦作三千大千世界）。畫生命之樹是他的大學和研究生時期的研究課題（參見18.2.4節）。插圖35是流亡國外的墨西哥，圖中的三根權杖表示他還在尋找生命之樹的樹幹。圖37是約40歲的墨西哥，他仍在改進生命之樹樹幹的設計。圖37中，若把半月臉（代表墨西哥，特拉洛克）放在四禪天（即插圖5），腐屍蟲（代表胃腸潰瘍）會叮他，即會引起他的妻子翠玉女不高興，會加劇他的胃腸潰瘍。他手中的大茶壺表示他患有胃腸潰瘍，需要不斷地喝水來沖淡有刺激性的胃腸分泌。

Note 8.10-2, what is this trait that makes one suitable for scientific research? I noticed this question when I was writing my memoir in 2014, and I think it is a combination of image thinking mode, neuroticism, and honesty. This quality is called "no unknown is abandoned; no having-known is not abandoned" in Buddhism and is one of the Eighteen God Buddha Uncommon Laws (cf. v. 15.1.3). The reason why this characteristic is listed as a unique law is that the personal life experiences of gods or Buddhas make this trait particularly strong and worthy of their name. For example, illustrations 8.10-1 to 22 are the paintings of the Tree of Life (aka. Three-Grand Great-Grand Worlds) by Mexico (aka. the Rain God, Tlaloc, active around 1285-1345 CE, see Chapter 18). Painting the Tree of Life was his research topic during his college and graduate school years (cf. v. 18.2.4). Illustration 35 is Mexico in exile, and the three scepters in the picture indicate that he is still looking for the trunk of the Tree of Life. Illustration 37 is Mexico at about 40 years old, and he is still improving the design of the trunk of the Tree of Life. In Illustration 37, if the crescent face (representing Mexico, Tlaloc) is placed in the fourth meditation sky (i.e. illustration 5), the carrion beetle (representing gastrointestinal ulcer) will bite him, which means that it will make his wife, Chalchiuhtlicue, unhappy and aggravate his gastrointestinal ulcer. The large teapot in his hand indicates that he suffers from gastrointestinal ulcers and needs to drink water constantly to dilute the irritating gastrointestinal secretions.

我問：“我的性格有什麼特別的？”

導師說：“我也不太明白，說不好；不過，這一點你不用懷疑。你知道，咱院博士的名聲還可以，拿得出手。”

我回答：“我聽說了。他們是中國唯一的岩石力學博士後流動站，從五十年代就是世界一流的了。據說，咱院的博士在全世界都受歡迎。就因為他們，漢語已經成為了這個行業的第二語言。”

導師說：“哪有那麼好！就是還行。另外，博士還是某些人觀念中一輩子的榮譽。”

我回答：“博士是好聽。如果我讀博士，都得從頭開始學，人家讀兩、三年，我得讀五、六年。”

I asked: "What's so special about my personality?"

Adviser said: "I don't quite understand, I can't say; however, you don't have to doubt this. You know, the reputation of the PhD of our school is not bad to take."

I replied: "I've heard about it. They are the only post-doctoral mobile station for rock mechanics in China and have been world-class since the 1950s. It is said that the doctors from our institute are popular all over the world. Just because of them, Chinese has become the second language of this profession."

Adviser said: "It's not that good! It's just okay. Besides, a PhD is still a lifetime honor in some people's conception."

I replied: "A PhD is nice to hear. If I were to do a PhD, I'd have to learn it all from scratch; people do it for two or three years, I'd have to do it for five or six."

導師說：“你還這麼想！不過，五、六年拿個博士也挺好！值得！”

我說：“能成功當然好。如果我失敗了呢！我聽說了，他們搞的那套理論，全世界就三百多個人懂。如果我整不明白，這輩子就毀了。”

導師說：“沒你想的那麼難！如果整不明白，你那碩士論文改改，就能博士畢業了；然後，到哪個學校當個老師，跟我一樣。他們那東西，我就不懂。”

Adviser said: "You still think so! But it's good to get a PhD in five or six years! It's worth it!"

I said: "Of course it's good to succeed. What if I fail! I've heard that the theory they're working on is understood by only 300 people in the world. If I don't understand it, my life will be ruined."

Adviser said: "It's not as hard as you think! If you don't understand it, you can just change your master's thesis and graduate with a doctorate; then, you can become a teacher in any school, just like me. I don't understand their stuff."

我說：“祝老師你可能不知道，學習中，如果我搞不懂，感覺難受，總是放不下，吃不好，睡不着。如果我整不明白，那我這輩子就毀了。讀博士風險太大了，我不讀。”

導師說：“我說了，你可以考慮混個博士。你要混，對於你來說，博士不難！”

我說：“我琢磨過這事，也想過為什麼我做事總是那麼難？我發現，我什麼問題都放不下，混，我是學不會了，就只能找個不用腦的行業。我混了個碩士，是為了不讓別人瞧不起我；如果我再混個博士，連我自己都瞧不起我自己了。”

I said: "Teacher Zhu, you may not know, in the study, if I can not understand, I feel difficult, always can not let go, can not eat well, can not sleep. If I can't understand, my life will be ruined. Studying a doctorate is too risky, I do not want to."

Adviser said: "I said, you can consider playingly get a doctorate. For you, deceitfully getting a PhD is not hard!"

I said: "I've mulled over this and wondered why it's always so hard for me to do things. I realized that I can't let go of any problems! Fooling around is a hard thing for me to learn. So, I'll just find an industry that doesn't use much brain. I deceivingly get a master's degree, so that I wouldn't let others look down on me. If I fool around again to get PhD, even I myself would look down on myself."

導師感嘆道：“真他媽地！”

我驚訝地問：“怎麼了？”

導師說：“他們就是跟我這麼說的，如果你同意讀博士，就不會混。我就不信！”

我驚訝了，問：“混的人多了！他們以前都沒見過我，就在答辯會上看見我一次，他們都看出來了！”

導師說：“對！他們大部分人就只在答辯會上看見了你那一次，就看出來了，說你就是不會混的性格。看來我是真不行，我都認識你五、六年了，什麼也沒看出來！”

Adviser exclaimed: "Holy shit!"

Surprised, I asked: "What's wrong?"

Adviser said: "That's what they told me, that if you agree to do a PhD, you won't be fooling around, I just didn't believe it!"

I was surprised and asked: "There are a lot of people who are fooling around! They've never even seen me before, saw me just once at the defense meeting, said they that I am not a fooling around person!?”

Adviser said: "Right! Most of them just saw you that one time at the defense meeting, and they saw it and said you just don't have the personality to fool. It seems I'm no good, I've known you for five or six years and I didn't see anything!"

8.10-3 為浪蕩公子平反 Vindication of the Playboy

一天，李國輝站到了寢室的中央，頗有感慨地說：“我要講講什麼是一俊遮百丑。我師母親自給盧岩平反，讓我向咱院的各個寢室傳達。” 他師母是我們院長夫人，資源土木工程學院的秘書，負責管理我們研究生。

他說：“昨天，在咱院的組織工作會上，我師母鄭重宣布：‘以前，我老說盧岩是咱院的浪蕩公子。結果，人家的論文在咱院的論文評定委員會上，三十三位評委意見一至，全都給評優。人家是下了真功夫的，這肯定假不了。我號招咱全院的學生，以盧岩為楷模，端正態度，努力地真心做學問。以後，誰也不許再叫他浪蕩公子了。’”

One day, Guohui Li stood up in the center of the dormitory and said rather emotionally: "Today, I'm going to talk about what is “one handsomeness covers up a hundred uglies”. My teacher mother personally vindicated Luyan and asked me to convey it to all the dormitories in our institution." His teacher's mother is our dean's wife, the secretary of the institute of Resource Civil Engineering, responsible for managing our graduate students.

Li said: "Yesterday, at the organization meeting of our institute, my teacher mother solemnly announced: 'In the past, I always said that Luyan was the prodigal son of our institute. As a result, his thesis was evaluated by the thesis evaluation committee of our academy, and all the thirty-three evaluators were unanimous in their opinions, and all of them gave him an excellent grade. He has put in real effort, it's not fake. I call on all the students at this institute to take Luyan as a model, to correct your attitude, to work hard and sincerely on your studies. From now on, no one should call him a prodigal son anymore.'"

8.10-4 賜福 Blessing

一天，我在食堂遇見了住八舍時的室友，那個來自國務院的警察，他向我道喜。我問他我有什麼喜事？連他都知道了。他說：“我都聽說了，你的畢業論文寫得不錯，受到了讚賞。”

我沒感覺，回答：“這點兒事算什麼！”

他說：“怎麼是這點兒事呢！研究生不就是這麼回事嗎！得到了那幫人的讚賞，一輩子想起來都是高興的事。人家賜福給你了。”

我愣住了，明白之後說：“有道理，要不是聽你說了，我沒注意到。”

他說：“你在和平房產局幹得挺好；在東北大學，你又提前一年畢業，還整成這樣！你確實有與眾不同之處，我就是瞪着眼睛看不見你是咋整的（注4）？”

我迷惑地回答：“我也不知道，我真的什麼都不知道！你怎麼樣？什麼時候答辯？”

他回答：“我還比你早來幾個月呢！到現在，他們還不讓我準備博士論文。答辯，還沒日程。”

注8.10-4，2014年，我寫完回憶錄後才明白，這是劉團長指使他（來自國務院的警察）和祝老師等人支持我的成果。

One day, I met my roommate from the eighth dormitory, the policeman from State Council, in the cafeteria. He congratulated me. I asked him what good news I had, even he knew about it. He said, "I heard that your graduation thesis was well written and was praised."

I didn't feel anything and replied, "It's nothing!"

He said, "Why is it just this little thing? Aren’t that what graduate students being like? You will be happy to think about the praise of those people for the rest of your life. They have blessed you."

I was stunned, and then I said, "That makes sense. If I hadn't heard you say it, I wouldn't have noticed it."

He said, "You did a great job at the Heping Real Estate Bureau. You graduated a year early at Northeastern University, and you looked like this! You are indeed different. I just can't see how you did it (4) even with my eyes wide open."

I replied in confusion: "I don't know either, I really don't know anything! How are you? When will you defend your thesis?"

He replied: "I came here a few months earlier than you! Until now, they still won't let me prepare my doctoral thesis. There is no schedule for the defense yet."

Note 8.10-4, It was not until I finished writing my memoirs in 2014 that I realized that this was the result of Troupe Leader Liu instructing him (the policeman from State Council) and Teacher Zhu and others to support me.

8.10-5 命運 Fate

一天晚上，我在機電管遇到了祝老師（我和劉健君的介紹人）。他鄭重地對我說：在我和劉健君婚姻的事情上，他失敗了，但還是很感謝我；以後我有事去求他，他一定會盡力幫助。隨後，我茫然地想了幾次 “他們對我做了什麼？他怎麼失敗了呢？”此後的很多年，我都偶爾會想起國務院警察說過的 “劉團長一定會成功”，什麼事一定會成功？我都沒想明白直到2014年寫完我的回憶錄。

注8.10-5，什麼事？劉團長一定會成功。答：我和劉健君一定會成為夫妻。本書的第一章述說了劉團長為我和他的女兒劉建君定了娃娃親，並為我做了肉眼通，遺留下了精神病潛伏症。7.3節述說了我和劉建君相親，被她創傷了，激活了我的精神病潛伏症。本章的8.1至8.7節述說了劉團長設計，讓我受到了驚嚇，以至於有了精神病發作的跡象。精神病是生命之樹上的異熟果（參見11.6.1節），此後五年、十年，或什麼時候，精神病的異熟果成熟了，我就會墮入地獄。插圖35是墨西哥畫的他自己，那時他正從納瓦特國逃離到國外，可是無論他逃到哪裡，成熟後的精神病異熟果都會落在他的筐里，他就會墮入地獄。當然，整瘋我盧岩不是劉團長的最終目的，治療我的瘋病的唯一方法是和劉建君結婚，劉團長的最終目的是讓我們倆把這件事寫成書，利樂眾生。

One evening, I met Mr. Huang (the person who introduced Eve Liu to me) at the Electromechanical Building. He told me solemnly that he had failed in my marriage to Liu Jianjun, but he was still very grateful to me; if I asked him for help in the future, he would do his best to help. Afterwards, I thought about it several times in confusion, "What did they do to me? How did he fail?" For many years afterwards, I would occasionally think of what the State Council police said, "Captain Liu will definitely succeed." What will succeed? I didn't figure it out until I finished writing my memoirs in 2014.

Note 8.10-5, what is it? Troupe Leader Liu will succeed. Answer: Eve Liu and I will become wife and husband. The first chapter of this book tells that Troupe Leader Liu arranged a marriage for me and his daughter Eve Liu, and made “Flesh Eye Through” on me, which left me with latent psychosis. Section 7.3 tells that I went on a blind date with Eve Liu, was traumatized by her, and activated my latent mental illness. Sections 8.1 to 8.7 of this chapter tell that Troupe Leader Liu scared me on purpose, so that I showed signs of psychosis. Mental illness is a mutant fruit (cf. v. 11.6.1) of the tree of life. Five years, ten years, or whenever, the fruit of mental illness will mature, and I will fall into hell. Illustration 35 is a Mexican painting of himself. At that time, he was fleeing away from the country of Nahuatl. However, no matter where he fled, the ripe fruit of mental illness would fall into his basket, and he would fall into hell. Of course, driving me, Luyan, crazy is not Troupe Leader Liu's goal. The only way to cure my madness is to marry Eve Liu. Troupe Leader Liu's goal is for the two of us to write this affair into a book to benefit all sentient beings.

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