大爆炸后的第二天早晨，我醒了，发现自己没死，很兴奋；感觉全身舒畅，思维敏捷，精力充沛，变得更加欢喜了。恰巧我哥哥从中国上海打来电话。谈了几句之后，他惊讶地对我说：“卢新（我妹妹）说你病了，我不信，所以就给你打电话了。听着！我不懂神精病，但知道，你的声音变了，像似做了心脏搭桥手术似的；开始时我都没听出来是你。你的语速特别快，我是没数，但我估计着，你的语速比平时快50-80%。你说话也太快了，我都反应不过来。另外你现在异常兴奋。这些都是精神病症状。你现在人在哪儿呢？”

The morning after the big bang, I woke up and was thrilled to realize that I wasn't dead; I felt soothed, quick-thinking, energized, and became even more joyful. It so happened that my brother called from Shanghai, China. After talking for a few moments, he said to me in surprise, "Lu Xin (my sister) said you were sick and I didn't believe him, so I called you. Listen! I don't know anything about psychosis, but I do know that your voice has changed, as if you've had a heart bypass surgery; I didn't even hear it was you at first. You were talking extraordinarily fast, I was not counting, but I estimated that you were talking 50-80% faster than usual. You're also talking so fast I can't even react. Also, you're unusually excited right now. These are all psychotic symptoms. Where are you in person right now?"

我回答：“在家里的后院儿。”

I replied, "In the backyard of my house."

哥哥立刻说：“那可不行！现在你这么兴奋，我是真不懂；但过一会儿你可能晕倒了呢！你撞了哪里，流血了，家里又没别人，那血就流干了，死了吗！赶紧回屋躺在床上。” 我向屋里走时，感觉身体渐渐地变得沉重了；全身又有了昨天的风湿症的感觉。哥哥在电话里说：“你的声音变回来了！慢慢地走，躺倒在床上。你赶紧回国吧！”

Immediately my brother said, "That's not good! Now that you are so excited, I really don't understand; but in a little while you might faint! You hit somewhere and bleed, there's no one else in the house, then the blood drains out, you die? Hurry back to the house and lie down on the bed." As I walked toward the house, I felt my body gradually become heavy; my whole body had again the feeling of rheumatism of yesterday. My brother said on the phone, "Your voice has changed back! Go slowly and lie down on the bed. You hurry back China!"

（2）病态 Sickness

我又恢复了昨天与风湿症对抗的状态。这时，我想着本书第2章《桃花劫》里算命先生的说法，“桃花运来了，谁也没办法，赶紧去娶人家的女儿入洞房，否则，你活不过一百天”。我认为自己只有一百天的寿命了，开始办签证，准备回国找刘健君结婚。我这是依照本书 2.4节《刘团长讲解桃花劫》的说法， “被人家用死不暝目诅咒了，死不了也活不长；解法就是照着人家下咒人的愿望去做。” 这时，我并不懂得桃花劫的道理。

I'm back to the state I was in yesterday when I was fighting the rheumatism. At this time, I thought about what the fortune teller said in Chapter 2 of this book, "Peach Flower Catastrophe", "When peach flower fortune comes, there is nothing anyone can do about it, so hurry up and go and marry his daughter, or else you won't live for more than a hundred days". I thought I only had a hundred days to live, and started to get a visa, back China to find Eve Liu and get married. I was following the statement in section 2.4 of this book, "Troupe Leader Liu’s Explains of Peach Flower Catastrophe," that "having been cursed by someone with the curse of Death with Eyes Open, even you are not dead, will not live long; the solution is to do what the person who put the curse on you wishes." At that time, I didn't really understand Peach Flower Catastrophe.

这时，我怀疑所有的人。我去领事馆办签证时，认为刘健君派人暗中帮助我。飞机上，我认为刘健君安排人在暗示我，如何保护我自己的心脏。那时，我时刻精神内敛，注意着自己体内风湿症的走动，不停地用真气包裹着心脏，驱赶着风湿症。

I doubted all people, when I went to the consulate to get a visa, I thought that Eve Liu sent someone to help me secretly. On the airplane, I thought that Eve Liu had arranged someone to hint to me how to protect my own heart. At that time, I was always spiritually introspective, paying attention to the movement of rheumatism in my body, and kept wrapping my heart with my true air to drive ill air away.

（3）

2011年10月，我回到了沈阳父母家，我妈妈在中国医科大学精神病院院长王哲教授的指导下，偷偷地把利培酮口服液参进了我的饮食里。利培酮对我有很多副作用，随着药剂量的加大，我觉得全身每一个器官都有功能上的毛病，每天睡15个小时以上，全身难受，除了有时运气向体外推排风湿气，没什么别的精力了。我要找刘健君，和她结婚，让她爸爸瞑目，可我说话没逻辑，家人都认为我在说疯话，没人帮我，什么事也没干成。但仿佛听说，他们询问了，说是有刘团长那么个人，神叨叨的，早就过世了。我说的那个黄老师也已经过世了。

In October 2011, I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, where my mother secretly entered oral risperidone into my diet under the guidance of Prof. Wang Zhe, director of the psychiatric hospital at Chinese Medical University. Risperidone had many side effects on me, and as the drug dosage increased, I felt that every organ in my body was functionally ill, and I slept more than 15 hours a day, my whole body was uncomfortable, and I didn't have much energy left except for using my true air to push and draining rheumatism out of my body at times. I want to find Eve Liu and marry her so that her father can rest in peace, but I speak without logic, my family thought I was talking crazy, no one to help me, nothing was done. But as if I had heard, they inquired and said that there was such a person as Troupe Leader Liu, a godly man, who had long since passed away. The Teacher Huang I mentioned has also passed away.

我委托妹妹打听几个人，回复说，“问了，没找到。” 有的，回电话的人说，“没那个人！”

I commissioned my sister to inquire about a few people, and the response was, "Asked, didn't find any." Some, who called back, said, "There's no such person!"

（4）

两周后，我的心情有些安静了，去书店买了中医针灸教材，开始按照真气的流注方向，引导全身的真气运行。风湿症暂时控制住了。

Two weeks later, I was somewhat quieter, went to a bookstore and bought a textbook on Chinese acupuncture and began to direct the flow of true air throughout my body in the direction of the flow of true air. The rheumatism was under control for the time being.

一个月后，家人告诉我，我病了，而且他们在我的饮食里放了药。我不相信，也不认为自己病了；可家人都这么说，让我吃药，我也只能顺从了。

A month later, my family told me that I was sick and that they had put medicine in my diet. I didn't believe it and didn't think I was sick; but all my family said so and told me to take the medicine, so I could only obey.

（5）巴甫洛夫楼 Pavlov Building

妹妹安排我和王哲教授见面。我请他帮忙找刘健君；他认为找她没用。但是，刚见面时，我听说他是医大的，随口问了句：“你知道巴甫洛夫楼不？” 他听了，愣住了，站了起来，思索了很久说：“我知道！可那时我只是个研究生，没资格进那个楼。”

My sister arranged a meeting between me and Prof. Wang Zhe. I asked him to help me find Eve Liu; he thought it would be useless to find her. However, when we first met, I heard that he was from the China Medical University and casually asked, "Do you know the Pavlov Building?" When he heard that, he froze, stood up, thought for a long time, and said, "I know! But at that time, I was just a graduate student, not qualified to enter that building."

事后，我回忆起了他的怪异，在互联网上查找，发现了1950年代中国关于医学哲学的争议。中国传统的医学全是唯心主义的，对马克思主义是否适用于医学进行了辩论。

Afterward, I recalled his weirdness, looked it up on the Internet, and discovered a controversy about the philosophy of medicine in China in the 1950s. Traditional Chinese medicine was all about mentalism, and there was a debate about the applicability of Marxism to medicine.

注5，我在2014年写回忆录时注意到了此事，联想起了3.4节《巴甫洛夫楼》中崔凤龙出差到医大的巴甫洛夫楼，又联想起了7.4节《刘健君给我的印象》中刘健君特别告诉我这栋楼，我得出了结论：巴甫洛夫楼就是4.5节《真人医学实验报纸新闻》中所说的女子组集中培训的地方。

Annotation 5, I noticed this when I was writing my memoirs in 2014, and associating it with the Pavlov Building at China Medical University where Uncle Dragon traveled to on business in section 3.4 “The Pavlov Building”, and associating it with the Pavlov Building that Eve Liu specifically told me about in section 7.4 “Impressions of Eve Liu to Me”, I came to the conclusion that the Pavlov Building was the place where the “Girls’ Group” was intensively trained, as described in section 4.5  “Newspaper News from the Real-Life Medical Experiment”.

（6）买心理学的书 Buy Psychology Books

父母兄妹都说我疯了，我不相信，但是找刘健君的念头渐渐地淡了。

My parents and siblings said that I was crazy, I do not believe it, but the idea of finding Eve Liu gradually faded.

我小时候，崔凤龙姨父跟我说过多次，医院85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病，前文第7章中刘健君和另一个前女友也跟我这么说过，所以我不信任精神病医生，就自己买了几本心理学的书。随后多年，我逐渐地相信了刘团长、刘建君、和那个精神病爱好者前女友的说法，有了自己的精神病治疗原则（参见10.6《治疗心病的原则》）。

When I was a child, Uncle Dragon told me many times that 85-95% of psychiatrists in hospitals do not understand mental illness. And Eve Liu and another ex-girlfriend told me about the same thing in the section 8.7, so I didn't trust psychiatrists, so I bought a few books on psychology myself. Over the ensuing years, I gradually came to believe what Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and the psychiatry-enthusiast's ex-girlfriend had told me, had my own principles to cure mental illness (see section 10.6 “Principles of Treating Mental Disorder”).

（7） 病情没好转 No Improvement in Condition

在2012年3月，我回到了多伦多，开始学习心理学和精神病学。不久，我进了SPL Consultants Ltd工作。这时，我仍有幻听、妄想、敌视、怀疑等症状；在本质上，病情没有好转。

In March 2012, I returned to Toronto and began studying psychology and psychiatry. Shortly after, I went to work for SPL Consultants Ltd. At this time, I was still experiencing hallucinations, delusions, hostility, and skepticism; in essence, my schizophrenia was not getting better.

在2012年春有冰雨，我家后院的桃树没开花。几十年来第一次，我的脸上没长桃花藓。

In the spring of 2012, there was freezing rain and the peach tree in my backyard did not bloom. For the first time in decades, I didn't have “peach flower tinea” on my face.

↪️返回第10章《宿命通》的目录↪️ Return to Catalog of Chapter 10