本章目录 Contents of this Chapter：5.1 性格测试 Personality Test；5.2 在集市打架 Fighting at Market；5.3 威仪路 Majesty Road；5.4 刘团长其人 Troupe Leader Liu；5.5 多重性格 Multiple Personalities；5.6 特殊的新政策 Special New Policy

1991年秋，我入学东北大学辽宁分校工民建专业。21岁，我才上末等学校的大专，看到同学们的流氓习气，我感到耻辱和失望，却又不得不接受我就是这类混混的现实。我的内心凄凉，终日闷闷不乐，感觉自己生活得像一只老鼠，躲在阴暗里，见不得人。

In the fall of 1991, I enrolled in the Liaoning Branch of Northeastern University, majoring in civil engineering. At 21 years old, I just went to the lowest level of the school's junior college. Seeing the hooliganism of my classmates, I felt shame and disappointment, but had to accept the reality that I was this kind of punk. My heart is bleak, moping all day long, feels like living like a rat, hiding in the shadows, timid to be seen by people.

（1）

我想去崔凤龙姨父在抚顺的家看看，向我妈询问他的地址。妈妈愣住了，过了一会儿，说：“他半年前就过世了，你那时身体不好，怕影响你学习就没告诉你。”我呆住了，回忆起了前文4.10节，他那是在死前向我告别。

I wanted to visit Uncle Dragon’s home in Fushun and ask my mother for his address. My mother was stunned, and after a while, she said: "He passed away half a year ago. You were in poor health at the time, so I didn't tell you for fear of affecting your studies." I was stunned, and recalled the previous section 4.10, what he was saying goodbye to me before he dies.

妈妈说：“他那次回来就与以往不同，说有些话要对你说，有些事要示范给你看，说你将来用得着。你那时有病，我和你爸都不同意他去黑山看你。他就同意让你爸代替他说给你听，表演给你看。这俩人就在这屋里一直排练到半夜。可第二天，他又改主意了，对你爸不放心，要自己给你表演，真生气了！你爸爸就送他去你那里了！他对你说的话，和表演的事（参见4.10节《遗嘱》），你不都记住了吗！？”

Mom said: "He came back differently that time, saying that he had something to say to you, something to demonstrate to you, saying that you would need it in the future. You were sick at the time, and neither your father nor I agreed that he should visit you in Black Mountain. So, he agreed to let your father speak to you and show you instead. The two of them rehearsed in this house until midnight. But the next day, he changed his mind and got really mad at your dad for wanting to perform for you by himself! So, your dad sent him to your place! Don't you remember everything (see section 4.10 Wills) he said to you, and the performance!?"

我感觉胸部以上都很难受，平淡地说：“我记得。”

妈妈说：“我都看出来了，你和他的感情深，想哭就哭吧！因为这事哭，不丢脸；哭出来就好了。”

我哭了之后，的确感觉好多了。

I felt very uncomfortable from the chest up and said flatly: "I remember."

Mom said: "I can see it all, you're deeply attached to him; cry if you want to! There's no shame in crying because of it; just cry it out."

I did feel better after crying.

（2）

一天傍晚，我和同学一起去图书馆上晚自习。当我们走到建筑馆楼前时，我们看见很远的西面，在路上有一群人在跳舞，都是二十左右岁的男青年，手拉手地围成一个圈儿，一边围着他们自己的圈儿跑跳，一边笑着，喊着 “笑一笑” 等口号。每当碰见走路的人，他们就把行人套在圈儿里，请求行人和他们一起蹦跳。我们看着他们跑近了，发现他们实际上有很多伙儿人，围着每一个路过的人跳舞，也包括我和我的同学。

One evening, I went to the library with my classmates for an evening study session. As we walked to the front of the building of the Architecture Hall, we saw far to the west, on the road, a group of people dancing, all young men in their twenties, holding hands in a circle, running, and jumping around their own circle while laughing and shouting slogans such as "Smile." Whenever they bumped into someone walking, they lassoed the pedestrian into the circle and begged them to jump with them. As we watched them run closer, we realized that they actually had a lot of gangs dancing around everyone who passed by, including me and my classmates.

他们过去了。我和同学们互相问：“这是怎么回事儿？”没人知道。车志刚说：“我看就是一群疯子在作怪！” 我说：“像是电影电视里巫术的聚魂，或者除魔仪式。”但是，我感觉这是上帝最喜欢的宇宙舞，沈阳还有人研究神！他们的舞蹈和气氛具有强烈的感染力，让我想起了少年时代类似的游戏情景，很高兴。事后，我时常回忆起这件事，每次都让我感觉欣慰和迷惑：沈阳有人研究上帝！

They went over. My classmates and I asked each other: "What's going on?" No one knew. Zhigang Che said: "I think it's just a bunch of crazy people acting up!" I said: "It's like a witchcraft gathering souls in movies and TV, or a demon removal ritual." However, I feel that this is God's favorite cosmic dance, and there are people in Shenyang who study God! Their dance and atmosphere were so infectious that they reminded me of similar playful scenarios from my teenage years with great delight. Afterwards, I recalled this event from time to time, and each time I felt relieved and perplexed: there are people in Shenyang who study God!

注5.0，从我入学初中、高中、大学、研究生时期，都有怪事发生来判断；这是刘团长为了庆祝我上大学而举行的大街舞会。

Annotation 5.0, judging from the facts that strange affairs happened to me during my enrollment in middle school, high school, college, and graduate school; this was a street dance held by Troupe Leader Liu to celebrate my attendance at college.

↪️返回《卢岩回忆录》的目录↪️Back to Catalog of Luyan’s Memoir