緊隨着那個不眠之夜，我遺失了一段時間的記憶。不過我並沒有因為環境的變化感覺詫異，說明我那段時間還在現實生活中。或者可能是我的性格轉換了，我是個多重性格的人，前面發生的事被淡化了。有記憶時，我忽然看到陽光照射在寢室的窗台上，感覺溫暖。我走過去，伸手到陽光里，感覺到了陽光的溫度。春天來了，我向窗外望。

室友回來了，歡喜地說：“我聽說你這床位的那個人要回來了，你會搬到一樓。將來，九月，你會隨着新生入學，住到三捨去。”

表姐王剛告訴過我，“就住在八舍，趕快寫論文畢業，別在學校浪費時間了，工作才是人生的主題。” 我回答：“我不知道，誰說的？”

Immediately after that sleepless night, I lost my memory for a period. However, I was not surprised by the change of environment, which means that I was still in real life during that period. Or maybe my personality changed. I am a person with multiple personalities, and the affairs that happened before were diluted. When I regained my memory, I suddenly saw the sun shining on the windowsill of the dormitory, and it felt warm. I walked over, stretched my hand into the sun, felt the temperature of the sun. Spring is coming, I look out the window.

My roommate came back and said happily, "I heard that the person who occupies your bed is coming back, and you will move to the first floor. In the future, in September, you will move to the third dormitory with the new students."

My cousin Wang Gang told me, "Just live in the eighth dormitory, write your thesis and graduate quickly, don't waste time in school, work is the theme of life." I replied, "I don't know, who said that?"

室友說：“這不是明擺着的事麼！在祝老師那屋，我們討論你半天了；終於有了結論。你說什麼是好人？”

我想了又想，答不上來（注8.6-1）。

注8.6-1，什麼是好人？2006年我在Davroc 測試實驗室有限公司工作。老闆桫欏（Sal Fasullo，參見9.5 《桫欏給我改性格》 ）對人說，“我研究盧岩兩年了，發現他是 ‘好人’。這種人才少見呢，全世界也許能有60個，我不知道。我公司里能有一個，我感到榮幸。”

My roommate said, “Isn't it obvious! In Teacher Zhu's room, we've been discussing you for half a day; we've finally concluded. What do you call a good man?”

I thought and thought but couldn't answer (Note 8.6-1).

Note 8.6-1, “What is a Goodman?” In 2006, I was working at Davroc Test Labs Ltd. My boss, Sal Fasullo, (cf. v. 9.5 Sal Changes my Personality), said to us, “I've been studying Adam Luyan for two years, and I've found he is a Goodman. This kind of person is rare, there may be 60 of them in the whole world, I don't know. I'm honored to have one in my company.”

他感嘆地說：“這世界上好人可不多，也許能有五個。我感到榮幸，能和好人住一個屋住了一年多，就是你！”

我想了想，自己什麼壞事都想干，就是沒膽量干，回答：“我沒感覺到自己是好人；我認為自己和其他人一樣。什麼是你說的好人？”

他沒回答我的問題，卻說：“我這種人，要是不親自告訴你，你一輩子也不會知道我能幹什麼！看在你曾經是好人的份上，我給你一塊免死金牌（義為死刑赦免令，如圖8.6），一輩子有效！但願你用不上喔！”

He exclaimed, “There aren't many Goodman in this world, maybe five. I feel honored to have lived in a house with a Goodman for over a year, and it's you!”

I thought about all the bad things I wanted to do, but just didn't have the guts to do them, and replied, “I don't feel like a good man; I think I'm just like everyone else. What is it you call a good man?”

He didn't answer my question, but said, “A man like me, if I don't tell you myself, you'll never know what I can do for the rest of your life! Since you were once a Goodman, I give you a Death-Free Golden Amulet (i.e., a pardon for the death penalty, see figs. 8.6), valid for the rest of your life! I hope you won't use it!”

我訝異地問：“你給我一塊免死金牌？”

他說：“人都隨着環境的改變而改變，很難說五年十年後，你會成為什麼樣的人。你自己琢磨着，快被判死刑了，就打電話找我。當你的電話打進了國務院，無論我接不接電話，你應該知道，你的命保住了。這麼跟你說，我的大學和研究生同學都是干我們這一行的。即便我將來不在國務院了，這事我也能辦成。”

我懷疑地問：“你會這麼幫我？”

他說：“我們這行的人朋友少，因為怕被人求。我父母親戚都是農民，都沒什麼事。你的電話打進了我們的公司，接電話的人馬上就查你是什麼人，和我是什麼關係？事後，領導還會問我，盧岩那個事兒你是怎麼辦的？你給誰打電話了？怎麼說的？國務院可不允許隨隨便便向外打電話，都有記錄。如果我不幫忙，同事們會怎麼看我？研究生時的室友，他都不幫，是不是太沒人味兒了！”

I asked in surprise: "You're giving me a Death-Free Amulet?"

He said: "People change as the environment changes. It's hard to say what kind of person you will become in five or ten years. Think about it yourself. If you are about to be sentenced to death, call me. When your call reaches the State Council, whether I answer the call or not, you should know that your life is saved. Let me tell you, my college and graduate school classmates are all in our industry. Even if I am not in the State Council in the future, I can still do this."

I asked doubtfully, "Will you help me like this?"

He said: "People in our industry have few friends because we are afraid of being asked for help. My parents and relatives are all farmers and have no incident. When your phone call came into our company, the person who answered the phone immediately checked who you were and what your relationship was with me. Afterwards, the leader would also ask me, what did you do about Luyan? Who did you call? What did you say? The State Council does not allow casual calls to be made, and all records are kept. If I don't help, how will my colleagues look at me? He didn't even help his roommate when he was a graduate student. Isn't he too inhumane!"

我相信了。他說：“將來，不論什麼時候，你要找我，就到東大校友錄里去找我的聯繫方式。”

室友還說，若我犯了死罪，他會用自己的判斷來判決我，給我一次重新做人的機會，只要別忘了給他打電話就行。他還說，只要我不做虧心事，這輩子就沒事（注8.6-2）。

注8.6-2，由此說法可以看出，他清楚地知道這件事的後果。隨後，現實生活中，我常作虧心事，就在2010年墮入了地獄（即患上了精神病）。劉團長留給我的活路是做個 “好人”，100%不做任何虧心事。

I believed him. He said, "In the future, whenever you want to find me, just look for my contact information in the Northeastern University alumni directory."

My roommate also said that if I committed a capital crime, he would use his own judgment to sentence me and give me a chance to start a new life, if I didn't forget to call him. He also said that if I didn't do anything guilty, I would be fine in this life (Note 8.6-2).

Note 8.6-2, from this statement, we can see that he clearly knew the consequences of this affair. Later, in real life, I often do affairs that are against my conscience, and in 2010 I fell into hell (i.e. suffered from mental illness). The way out that Troupe Leader Liu left for me is to be a GOODMAN, 100% not do anything that is against my conscience.

祝老師也高興地過來了，看見我有些尷尬。他是個老實人，什麼事都寫在臉上。他說如果將來我要找他，就找他們那個期刊的編委，他一輩子都會在那個編委里。

我迷惑地叨咕：“怎麼你們都像是跟我告別似的呢！我只是換個屋住。即便是三舍，那樓也就在旁邊！”

隨後，王剛表姐來了，幫我搬家到了一樓，我剛來這樓時，住過的那個朝北的房間。我奇怪地問表姐：“出什麼事了嗎？你告訴我房間號不就行了！”

王剛回答：“沒事兒，我就是閒着沒事，來看看你的房間。下次我要找你，不就已經知道你在這兒了。”

Teacher Zhu also came over happily and was a little embarrassed to see me. He is an honest man; everything is written on his face. He said that if I wanted to look for him in the future, I should look for the editorial board of their journal, and that he would be on that board for the rest of his life.

I chattered in confusion, “Why do you all look like you're saying goodbye to me! I'm just changing a room. Even if it's the Third Dormitory, that building is right next to here!”

Later, my cousin Wang Gang came and helped me move to the first floor, the north-facing room I had lived in when I first came to this building. I asked my cousin curiously, "What happened? Can't you just tell me the room number?"

Wang Gang replied, "Nothing, I just had nothing to do and came to see your room. Next time I want to look for you, I'll already know you're here."

8.6-2

大約一個月後的一天，我在一樓的走廊里遇見了祝老師，他表情嚴肅，若有所查，眼睛放着兇惡的光。我笑着向他打招呼。他沒笑，也沒像往常一樣，站正了才說話，說：“沒事，就是過來看看。” 我回屋後，感覺奇怪，“是他覺着對不起我才對，怎麼反過來了，他那麼恨我，像是我做錯事了！”

注8.6-3，現在想來，那時祝老師眼神的凶光是心理疾病的症狀。劉團長為此事病重了；祝老師像對父親一樣愛戴他，所以也病了，恨我。那我呢？也病得不輕，下一節就出現了多種精神病爆發的跡象。

About a month later, I met Teacher Zhu in the corridor on the first floor. He had a serious expression, as if he was investigating something, and his eyes were gleaming with ferocity. I smiled and greeted him. He didn't smile, nor did he stand straight before speaking as usual. He said, "Nothing, I just came to see you." After I went back to my room, I felt strange, "He should feel sorry for me, how could it be the other way around? He hates me so much, as if I did something wrong!"

Note 8.6-3, now I think about it, the fierce look in Teacher Zhu's eyes was a symptom of mental illness. Troupe Leader Liu became seriously ill because of this incident; Teacher Zhu loved him like a father, so he also became ill and hated me. What about me? I was also seriously ill; in the next section, there were signs of multiple mental illness outbreaks.

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