Most west people wonder why Japanese stay married lacking of love. In traditional oriental culture, male chauvinism was very popular, especially in Japan. Men were in the center of their families. They controlled all the family resources, including women. Women had no equal right with men, for they were not only dependent but also as the part of men’s possession. Mostly, men married women not for loving them but for needs. Divorce was not acceptable to the society, even to the women’s families. Women had to bear with neglect and abuse. On the other hand, men had to work under stress. In their culture, a man, who came back early, should be considered as a loser; a man, who showed carefulness to his wife, should be laughed at. In this marriage culture, although Japanese families looked like more stable than those west ones by statistics, it didn’t mean they were happier. But recently, the oriental culture encounters the shock by occidental one; furthermore, more and more Japanese women are educated and independent in financial status. All these make them to look for spouse by love, so the divorce rates are rising; however, the rates are not very high because some women have to think about the economic stress after divorce. Lacking love is still a problem in Japanese marriage.
第二段是选一个topic写一个paragraph.
In my opinion, television commercials for cosmetics lie to women. First of all, famous stars are invited to be the cosmetic models. This may make women believe that using certain cosmetics can change their appearance to the same as stars’. The fact is that stars are born beautiful no matter what kind of cosmetics they use. Furthermore, television commercials exaggerate the cosmetic effects and neglect the side-effects. For example, cream or lotion should have some functions to prevent the evaporation and keep the skin moisture temporally, but they could not change the gene or healthy condition; and moreover, they could not prevent the paces of age. In contrast, they sometimes could cause sensitivity. Therefore, the cosmetic effects are very limited. In addition, television commercials emphasize that appearances are very important to women. They ignore the spiritual aspect of their lives. Most of all, producers, merchants, television stations and models gain from the lies. Women pay higher money, but get lower value.
I was an ESL (English as Second Language) student in college. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my English skill (well, I felt like struggling more than improving). Here are some suggestions:
1) Topic sentence is important for each paragraph, and you need a conclusion for your essay. Therefore, before you write your essay, please spend 5-10 minutes to write a draft (topic sentence, points, examples, conclusion, etc) 2) Write your essay and proofread it. Make sure you have topic sentence for your paragraph. Write simple sentences (subject+verb[+object]) and use simple vocabularies. 3) Then, read your essay out loud. If you don't want to, you can read it to yourself. 4) Give yourself 5 minutes break, then go back and re-read your essay. Again, if you can please read it out loud.
I totally agree with Beijing ren's comment. If you try to translate your sentences from Chinese to English, they become Chin-glish. I know it's very common to Chinese (I used to do that too). Give yourself some times, don't rush. Learning new language is not easy. Comparing Chinese to English, I always believe learning English should be much easier than Chinese. Don't you agree?
Finally, there are some other ways to learn and improve English. 1) Read English newspaper (at least pick some interesting articles everyday) or magazine articles (doesn't have to be academic, that will be too boring!) 2) Watch TV and listen 3) Speak up everyday. It helps you to get your points come across everyday
It is my personal opinion, the cosmetic advertising are designed to fool their female consumers into over spending.
Popular media stars are often invited to represent certain products. This action is clearly misleading, which fools women into believing that by using certain products, it can help change their appearances to the better, could even be as polished as some of the stars today. The fact is only 5% of the female population are naturally born beautiful, and to look normal is somehow being morphed into being ugly by today’s Hollywood standards.
Furthermore, television commercials often exaggerate the effects of its products and neglect the side-effects it may cause.
For example, the cream or lotion could have functions to prevent the evaporation of moisture, and keep the skin conditioned temporally, but they could not change the genetic make up of the skin or its health conditions;
and moreover, they could not prevent the nature of aging.
In contrast, they often cause sensitivity due to over protection from aging.
In other words, the cosmetic products’ effects are very limited.
In addition, the advertisement industry heavily emphasizes that appearances are very important to women. They eliminate the spiritual aspects of their lives, and forcing the social structure of today’s female society into a stage of self-awareness and unhealthy competition. And the cosmetic industry’s market value relies heavily on how lowly the women will think of themselves. In other words, they will keep raising the impossible beauty standards to keep their life line, in order to gain its profit, and it will be the society and their consumers are who will pay for its ultimate price.
you are right, however, i dont want to write it for connie, therefore, it should rest your case of lack of originality. i can only show her how it can be reworded to get it better. but i do admit it is not the best, i didnt major in english or creative writing after all. and yes we can all improve graduatly, but it will take time. and most of us who has a full time job with full time school such as myself, find it even harder to make time to read anything. after all, there are only 24 hrs per day, and 7 days a week.
so, i hope you can bare with us and our lack of originality.
hi connie sorry i didnt get to finish yesterday, so here is the rest
But recently, the eastern culture encounters the shock by occidental one; ( I dont really understand the last sentence of what you are trying to say )
furthermore, more and more Japanese women are now educated and has achieved independency in the financial status. all of the new development has changed their opinions on how to choose a spouse, in result, the divorce rates had gone up; however, the rates are not high due to some women have to think about the economic consequences after divorce.
in conclusion, the lacking of love is still a problem among Japanese marriages.
The article does not have any life. The sentences are very dry. They do not sound English. Rather they seems are translation from another language. Usagi did a better job but still not original. I think we all need to spend a lot of time to read, think, and write English if we want to improve in this area. The vacabulary is the key but usage is also very important.
Women had no equal right with men then, for they were not only a dependent but were also treated as a part of men’s possessions.
The men mostly married women for need purposes but not loving.
Divorce was not acceptable to the society, even to the women’s families. Women had to bear with neglects and abusive treatments. On the other hand, men had to work under a lot of stress.
In their culture, a man, who came back early, would be considered as a loser; a man, who showed kindness and caring gestures to his wife, would be laughed at.
In this social structure, although Japanese families looked more stable than western families by statistics, it doesn't mean they were happier.
But recently, the eastern culture encounters the shock by occidental one; furthermore, more and more Japanese women are educated and independent in the financial status. All these make them to look for spouse by love, so the divorce rates are rising; however, the rates are not very high because some women have to think about the economic stress after divorce. Lacking love is still a problem in Japanese marriage.
Connie, Congrats! You have great topics and deep thoughts.
All you need is to build up your vocabulary to articulate your fine thoughts more accurately. It takes time. Do NOT translate your thoughts from Chinese to English, try to read/speak English LOUDLY to get the sense of the language, gradually you will feel more comfortable thinking thus writing in English.
Always enjoy your writing. Wish you and your loved one a great Chinese New Year!
Ps. 8 sounds great, you will make a great progress this year: 大大地发啊! :)
Most western people wonder why the Japanese will stay married even when their marriages have no soul. In the traditional eastern (oriental is usually used for food and culture, but since we used western earlier)culture, the male chauvinism was (is) very popular, even in modern Japan.
Men were the center of their families. They controll all the family resources, including women.(women are considered resources at the time, but you need to explain that here)
Women had no equal right with men, for they were not only dependent but also as the part of men’s possession. Mostly, men married women not for loving them but for needs. Divorce was not acceptable to the society, even to the women’s families. Women had to bear with neglect and abuse. On the other hand, men had to work under stress. In their culture, a man, who came back early, should be considered as a loser; a man, who showed carefulness to his wife, should be laughed at. In this marriage culture, although Japanese families looked like more stable than those west ones by statistics, it didn’t mean they were happier. But recently, the oriental culture encounters the shock by occidental one; furthermore, more and more Japanese women are educated and independent in financial status. All these make them to look for spouse by love, so the divorce rates are rising; however, the rates are not very high because some women have to think about the economic stress after divorce. Lacking love is still a problem in Japanese marriage.
