比老虎更可怕的,是一個人對規則的蔑視 http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA5MTgxOTE5MA==&mid=2649378864&idx=1&sn=8a195866c60ffdc7990d6e3a854125dc&scene=5&srcid=0725j2uloveQzdrSRXZn05XZ#rd
爺爺退休了,報名上了老人大學, 正讀一年級的孫子好奇地問:“爺爺,你還讀書啊?” 爺爺說:“我讀書有什麼不好嗎?” 孫子說:“好是好,就是萬一你學校通知開家長會,那你怎麼辦呢?”
豬被殺後向佛祖哭訴:佛祖,我太冤了,吃了一輩子剩飯、泔水,最後還要被殺,供人享用。
佛祖說:你上輩子不聽民間疾苦,今生讓你長個大耳朵; 你看不起老百姓,今生讓你長個眯縫眼; 你總愛說大話,今生讓你嘴巴前突; 你老坐辦公室,今生讓你四肢短小; 你搞二奶多,今生讓你長一排奶頭; 你平時吃的剩飯,喝的泔水是你上輩子浪費掉的。
豬疑惑的說:難道我上輩子是個國家幹部?
三字經翻譯
人之初:At the beginning of life。 性本善:Sex is good。 性相近:Basically, all the sex are same。 習相遠:But it depends on how you do it。 苟不教:If you do not practice all the time。 性乃遷:Sex will leave you。 教之道:The way of learning it。 貴以專:It is very important to make love with only one person。 昔孟母:Once a great mother, Mrs Meng。 擇鄰處:Choose her neighbor to avoid bad sex influence。 子不學:If you don't study hard。 斷機杼:Your Dick will become useless。 竇燕山:Dou, the Famous。 有義方:Owned a very effective exciting medicine。 教五子:All his five son took it。 名俱揚:And their sexual ability were well-known。 養不教:If your children don't know how to do it。 父之過:It is all your fault。 教不嚴:If they had lots of problems with it。 師之惰:Their teacher must be too lazy to tell them details on sex。 子不學:You may refuse to study this。 非所宜:But that is a real mistake。 幼不學:If you don't learn it in childhood。 老何為:You will lose your ability when aged。 玉不琢:If you don't exercise your dick。 不成器:It won't become hard and strong。 人不學:If you don't learn sex。 不知義:You can by no means enjoy its sweetness。
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