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 · 丑出多了,自然有人看 (微博)
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【嘘,千万不要到外面乱说话】
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【在互联网寻找外公的足迹】
 · 祭拜外公--平江行(附外公碑文)
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 · 母亲记忆里的风云外公 (一)
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 · 《Qinny》 及曹雪葵博友的中译诗
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 · 重返游戏后竟意外治好了肩颈痛(配
 · 玩游戏有益健康还能救命?是真的!
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01/01/2015 - 01/31/2015
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12/01/2013 - 12/31/2013
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10/01/2013 - 10/31/2013
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我的网络日志
尹儿的故事(英文版) 2015-01-28 12:29:49

     早就想把去年这个时候写那篇 《春雪无痕》短篇修改一下,自认为题材结构和内容都不错 只是粗燥了点,也想到了用英语,八月份的时候没有了网络后尝试了一下开头 不满意便搁了下来 但心里始终放不下。今年过元旦那天 突然来了精神再试,感觉很顺手 是我自己想要的风格。一路写下来添加了不少细节和故事,但保留了原文的故事构架和风格。说真的对我来说写英语小说是不知天高地厚,但得到了先生的鼓励,兴致还蛮高的,上万维三年被自己有意打破的完美主义倾向又在写这篇文章时复活了。中文原文是六千多字,这个英文版的第一部分就将近6千单词了,完成后大概会是一个中篇吧。就好像我的中文博文里也是语法用法错误百出一样,英文也同样如此。只是我们对待它们的态度不一样,对于中文里的错误我们往往听之任之,而对英文里错误则是战战兢兢小心翼翼。

  民主和自由在中国已死,从68年前他们大肆屠杀民主精英的那天开始。留给我们的只是先辈们为之浴血奋斗的模糊身影。谨以此文表达我对民国时期民主先辈们的崇高敬意。



                                                           YINER


 

                                                                   1.


    "Clang--, clang-- .…"
    "Alas! Damn clock, don't  frighten  my daddy away." Staring  at the pitch-black emptiness, Yiner sighted and cursed in a faint mumble, tears were tracing paths down on her  pale cheeks. It was midnight. She  had just  awakened to the chimes of the wall clock from the family hall  penetrating through the wooden-panel wall to her room and echoing. 
    She lay on her side in bed beneath a quilt of blue coarse-cloth  patterned with white lotus, old and thick. The rice-straw mattress under her had worn out, no longer soft and flurry after many years of use. She hugged her bare knees tight against her chest trying to hold her own heat; and this  way she curled up seemed to give a bit warmth against the early spring chill.  In the region of mid-south of China, beyond the south shore of the Yangtze River  it was wet-cold in winter and early spring, the Siberian winter storms from far north swept down south across the vast land of Mongolia and northern China,   still strong and furious.  Many of young girls in this region had hard time for sleep at long night; their feet were freezing  like snakes that never could be warmed up. So was Yiner who also had chilblains that would cause itch and sore at the  instant they met heat; so she  scarcely slept well enough and was always  awakened by cold  a few times. 
    Yet this time it was neither  the cold nor the wall clock that roused her.  It was a dream.
    Yiner had dreamed of her mother almost every night from the day her mother left home to somewhere she did not know when she was little, no more than 7. 8 years drew on,  Yiner had been pining for her fiercely all the same, as if there were a rank sprawling ivy  in her heart. Although mother's face had thinly gone a blur in her memory after so long time, yet Yiner could still remember her scent of distinctive wild-rose once made  her deeply drunk with;   her sweet breath gently stroked on  her face as soft as a summer breeze; her arms warm,  smiles delightful, she  laid her down in the cradle, and swayed it  singing a lullaby to her quick sleep...
    Of course Yiner would not mention of her mother in front of anyone, not when Big Mom was around, lest she be angry.  She asked her father about where her mother was and when she would come to see her. He frowned and sighed stroking on her hair and answered that your mother had gone to a remote place and wound not come back anytime soon. That made Yiner wonder if she was dead already; but she knew she was not, just would not come back home and abandoned her. So sometimes the more she thought about her mother the more hated she became. 
    She called her mother  when she was alone washing clothes in river or collecting firewoods on hills or in woods. Yearned to see her  so eagerly, Yiner often stood on the river shore   peering at the dock on the other side of the river to see if mother would appear suddenly and take boat to her; or in a gathering dusk she sat in her own room gazing out of  the window, daydreaming of   her mother dressed in a white silk robe flying toward her from the golden mountain peak lit by the setting sun, a seven-coloured cloud under  her feet, flowers on head, sleeves  flapping wide and long in wind like wings, as beautiful as a celestial woman in those ancient myths... Yet it only went to disappoint her the worse after woke up. At the end she would begin sobbing, for it could never be real.   
    She had indeed  seen her mother. By night, in dreams though. Her mother was  being washed away in flooding water, or flamed in fire.  She screamed aloud, but the sounds were caught in throat. Screaming and screaming she went  with all strength, then awakened up with cold sweat trickling down on back, throat tight and mouth as dry as a bone. Even  so frightened,  after a while she still could  slowly fall asleep again and slid into next dream; good or bad, she knew they were only dreams anyway. 
    Yet tonight was different. She had dreamed of her father instead when she was half asleep.  He appeared  before her bed in darkness. Yet she still could see him clearly as if there were a finger of dim light from above enveloping him. His gaunt pale face was bleeding, and blue-grey long robe bloodstained. He looked at her mournfully, lips moving as if to speak to her yet made no sounds. She reached out for him, a thunder hammered  and he had thinly melted away into the black. She wept to awaken with a feeling of  heartbreak and heard the wall clock stroking twelve o'clock. It seemed to her that every stroke went louder than the one before and its tickings rapidly more than ever, even the flat reeded-pillow beneath her neck following vibrated slightly. She wondered if it did on purposes, particularly to frighten father away. 
    She had to have believed that what she saw in the dream bod ill: something her father was going to speak of; his sorrowful eyes had apparently indicated of something bad soon come upon them. Yet what would that be? She dared not  imagine but a scene had sprung to her mind: a little boat was sailing atop  the waves in a perilous ocean; the winds were howling, massive lead-grey clouds gathering,  lightning striking in the sky and thunder drumming with fury. Soon her little boat would have been buried in the stormy sea. 
    "Where are you, father?" She cried out in a desperate voice, sobbing. There was no echoing, the whole world just listening and silent. Yiner found herself shivering in the early spring night like an autumn leaf trembling in frost wind, lonely and helplessly ...
    Somewhere in a far distance a dog began  barking, a moment later more  joining in.


                                                

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作者:老冬儿 留言时间:2015-01-28 15:20:29
还没有来得及读,先来赞一声!

沐岚没有会中国? 新年好!
作者:老冬儿 留言时间:2015-01-28 15:20:57
唉呀打错了,回中国。
作者:思羽 留言时间:2015-01-28 16:33:06
通读了一遍,实在佩服岚姐功底深厚,文采斐然的英文。也很喜欢文中丰富的细节和层层渲染的气氛。一句话,岚姐是会家子,再接再厉!
作者:海天 留言时间:2015-01-28 21:38:55
大赞!给自己订立这样高的目标,而且执行有力的,也就是沐岚你这样的奇女子!

这篇小说的中文原作我从前拜读过的,文笔之细腻,意象之幽深,结构之复杂,即使是用中文完成也是很需要水平的,何况用非母语的英文。一字一句读下来,感觉原有的细腻、意象和情绪都反映得十分充分,英语行文也很有自己的风格,佩服!
作者:远方的孤独 留言时间:2015-01-28 23:12:28
我觉得这篇写的有点像剧本一样,让人可以想象女孩在那样的情境下的无助,可能是英语的作用,fluid。 赞一个!
作者:山泉水 留言时间:2015-01-29 00:42:30
沐岚的这篇小说我看过中文版,现在又看英文版,过瘾!特别喜欢这句,Yiner found herself shivering in the early spring night like an autumn leaf trembling in frost wind, lonely and helplessly ... 描绘的比买火柴的小姑娘还可怜。画面感很强。我会跟读完你的英文版。期待!
作者:马黑 留言时间:2015-01-29 01:07:09
好久不见,问候沐岚好!哇,可以用英语写作还是写小说。佩服!
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 14:28:01
谢谢冬儿。今年没有回去呢。最近来图书馆都少了 错过了你很多好文章,以后再补读。我这里不急,还有后续的出来。谢谢你的鼓励呵。
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 14:37:29
谢谢思羽妹妹的赞扬,你的英语功底比我强多了,只是你没有时间。原本不打算在万维发,昨天读你的博文时也顺便看了看新闻什么的,发现某党居然有脸指责别人不该赞美民国,民国是个什么年代?外忧内患,都还能实行民主自由,某党在和平年代做了什么?屠杀人民制造大饥荒大动乱。他们怎就不觉得这种怀念民国是给他们扇耳光。不知羞耻任神仙难救。谢谢妹妹鼓励。
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 14:48:49
大谢海天MM的美评, 你总能看到别人文章里最有特点的东西和想表达的东西。读你的评论真是享受,不但受到鼓励还能有提高,真的很荣幸能在万维结识你这样的学贯中西的大才女。你这么高的评价真使我不敢当哪,但是确实非常高兴,你看到了我那篇文章的结构特点,也是我自己很喜欢的地方。
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 14:52:45
谢谢远方博美评,可能中文版的本身就是用西方小说的构架的缘故吧,变成英语比较容易统一风格。谢谢你说它流畅。祝新年好。
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 14:58:40
山泉水MM好。感觉很近没见了,还在忙于画画吧。等下我去Flyingbird 看看你的 新作。记得去年我们 相约学画, 我先生都帮我 布置好了一个绘画角,但我就是坐不下来。谢谢谢你喜欢和花时间跟读。多多交流哦。
作者:沐岚 留言时间:2015-01-29 15:09:49
马黑大哥好。很久没来给你捧场了 对不起。我其实是对英语情有独钟的,我不是很喜欢读书的人 但是我可以捧一本英语字典看大半天,在游戏里我可以整天坐在那里听大段演讲,那种莎士比亚风格的演讲很让我着迷,现在想来确实使我的英语大有提高,真是无心插柳之举。呵呵 不好意思又是游戏,我已经很久没玩了, 非常怀念的。
作者:芹泥 留言时间:2015-01-30 10:21:32
沐岚MM真的很有天分,第一次写英文小说就写得有模有样,赞!
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