导言：本博主借助于AI，推出一系列中英对照的中式【脱口秀】帖子，旨在通过新颖有趣的方式，激发年轻一代华人对时政的关注与思考。每段【脱口秀】后都附有原文，方便ABC对照阅读。
英美主流媒体提供了丰富的优质时政内容，既有时效性，又有深度。为了让更多年轻华人参与到政治讨论中，我们可以尝试多种方式，各显神通。如果你对这些内容产生共鸣，欢迎转发支持！

川普又开始对中国发飙了，这回是2025年2月27日，兄弟们，记好了，这一天估计得载入“中美互掐史册”。老唐这家伙，嘴上老嚷着关税关税，好像没这玩意儿他就活不下去了。但你仔细瞅瞅他上台后干的那些事，嘿，关税只是个开胃菜，他真正想玩的是把中美经济关系彻底掰扯开，弄得跟分手撕逼似的，谁也别想好过。

这不，川普政府已经放话要限制中美投资，连技术卖给中国都得掂量掂量，生怕国家安全被“偷了”。还加了个10%的关税，美其名曰“开篇第一炮”。我寻思这“第一炮”听着咋那么像过年放的二踢脚呢？噼里啪啦一顿响，最后啥也没炸着。耶鲁那个叫萨姆·萨克斯的专家说了，老唐上周五搞的那份投资备忘录，简直就是“中美商业离婚”的作战计划书。听着挺唬人，但萨克斯也说了，这可能是老唐跟习近平讨价还价的筹码——谈崩了就真脱钩，谈成了就继续做生意，反正老唐这人吧，脑子里永远是笔买卖。

说到买卖，老唐对习近平还挺有好感，毕竟2020年那份协议没兑现，他还惦记着跟习大爷做点交易。可他手下那帮鹰派顾问就不干了，一个个跟打了鸡血似的，非要把中国摁死。结果呢？一边是老唐喊着“欢迎中国车企来美国建厂，雇美国工人就行”，另一边是他的人忙着给日本收购美国钢企泼冷水，还顺手掐着TikTok的脖子。你说这帮人到底是要干啥？合着老唐是想左手拉投资，右手扇中国耳光，玩得跟川剧变脸似的。

上回当总统，他还放了中兴一马，咋回事呢？因为习近平帮他牵线搭桥见了金正恩。这回呢，他又开始加关税，说中国没管住毒品流入美国。我寻思，中国要是真能管住美国街头的毒贩，那得派多少居委会大妈过去啊？中国也不是吃素的，反手就对美国货加税，还掐了点关键矿产出口，顺便给谷歌整了个反垄断调查。这剧情，简直比国产剧还狗血。

老唐第一天上任就签了个贸易备忘录，要研究怎么收拾中国，连WTO之前的“永久正常贸易关系”都想给废了。上周五，美国贸易代表还说要搞个案子，保护美国造船业不被中国抢饭碗。芯片出口？漏洞还得再堵严实点。商务部那帮老员工也被他开了几个，换上新人盯着中国科技企业使劲捏。投资方面，他弄了个总统备忘录，搞得跟喊口号似的，说是要拦住中国买美国关键资产，还要把审查权限扩大到“从零开始”的项目。听着挺狠，但也就是吓唬吓唬，实际干起来还得看他心情。

这备忘录里还说，美国欢迎盟友投资，但对中国就得严防死守，怕技术被偷走，怕中国拿钱砸美国农业、矿产啥的。批评的人说，这投资流动不光养肥了中国政府，连军队都搭上了顺风车。支持老唐的“繁荣美国联盟”直接拍手叫好，说这是“历史性突破”，还指望国会把华尔街那帮“没良心”的投资给禁了。可专家说了，这玩意儿真要落地，影响未必有那么大，没准还得吃官司。约翰霍普金斯的陈玲教授就挺淡定，说中国对美投资早就不咋样了，这备忘录也就是个摆设。

总结一句，老唐这回是想玩大的，但能不能玩成，还得看他跟习近平的这场“交易牌”谁先眨眼。咱就搬个小板凳，嗑着瓜子等着看戏吧。

So, Trump’s back at it, kicking off a fresh round of China-bashing as of February 27, 2025—mark your calendars, folks, this might just go down in the "Sino-US Smackdown Chronicles." Old Donnie’s got a boner for tariffs, like he can’t live without slapping a few extra bucks on imports. But if you squint at what he’s been up to since taking office, tariffs are just the appetizer. The dude’s plotting a full-on economic breakup with China, like some messy divorce where both sides end up broke and bitter.

Check this out: the Trump crew’s already talking about tightening the screws on investment flows between the US and China, plus throwing more roadblocks on tech sales—all under the sacred banner of "national security." Oh, and he’s slapped a 10% tariff on Chinese imports, calling it “the opening salvo.” Opening salvo? Sounds more like those firecrackers you set off at New Year’s—lots of noise, but nothing really blows up. Yale’s Sam Sachs, some big-shot researcher, says that investment memo Trump dropped last Friday reads like a battle cry to “finish the unfinished business of cutting China loose commercially.” Sounds badass, but Sachs reckons it might just be a bargaining chip for Trump to haggle with Xi Jinping. If the talks tank (which, let’s be real, is the most likely outcome), this could be the blueprint for a full-on decoupling.

Thing is, how far this goes depends on Trump himself. The guy’s got a soft spot for striking deals with Xi, partly because China didn’t deliver on that 2020 agreement they signed. Some ex-advisors say Trump’s less hawkish than his war-drum-banging team—he’s more about the art of the deal than torching bridges. He might keep the economic ties alive if he thinks he can squeeze out something juicy for the US. Case in point: he’s all for foreign cash pouring into America, even saying during the campaign, “Hey, Chinese carmakers, come build plants in Michigan, Ohio, South Carolina—hire American workers, and we’re golden.” Meanwhile, his party’s freaking out about Japan snapping up US Steel or anyone trying to save TikTok. What’s the game plan here? One hand’s waving in investments, the other’s smacking China upside the head—dude’s playing whack-a-mole with a smirk.

Last time he was prez, he let ZTE off the hook after Xi played matchmaker for that Kim Jong Un meet-up. This time, he’s cranking up tariffs again, whining that China’s not doing enough to stop drugs flooding the US. Bro, if China could rein in American street dealers, they’d need to ship over a whole army of neighborhood aunties. China’s not taking it lying down either—slapped tariffs on US goods, choked off some key mineral exports, and even kicked off an antitrust probe into Google. This drama’s juicier than a soap opera.

Day one in office, Trump signs a trade memo telling his lackeys to dig into more ways to screw China—like maybe yanking that pre-WTO permanent normal trade status. Last Friday, the US Trade Rep’s office said they’re pushing a case to shield American shipbuilding from Chinese competition. Chips? Gotta patch up those export loopholes. The Commerce Department’s getting a facelift too—fired some old-timers, including export control guy Matthew Borman, and brought in new blood like Landon Hyde, who’s all about choking out Chinese tech firms. On the investment front, Trump’s memo is more bark than bite for now—lots of tough talk about blocking Chinese grabs at “critical” US assets, but it’s not law yet.

The memo’s got this grand vibe: welcoming allied cash with a fast pass while eyeballing Chinese moves like a hawk, scared they’ll snatch up tech, IP, or muscle into farming and shipping. Critics say this cash flow’s been juicing up China’s government and military, funding shady stuff that screws the US. The pro-protectionism gang at “Prosperous America” is cheering, calling it a “historic breakthrough” and begging Congress to kneecap Wall Street’s “reckless” bets on Chinese firms. But cooler heads, like Johns Hopkins prof Chen Ling, shrug it off—Chinese investment in the US has been tanking since 2017, so this memo’s more noise than knockout punch. Another ex-Treasury guy, Jim Circlet, says some of these ideas—like vetting greenfield projects—might get laughed out of court.

Bottom line? Trump’s swinging big, but whether he lands the punch depends on who blinks first in this Xi-Trump staredown. Grab some popcorn, folks—this show’s just heating up.