前幾日記載小兒對美國人的一番童言引出不少認真的跟帖評論。見萬維網站博文:
兒子對美國人的鄙視讓我啞口無言
http://blog.creaders.net/logcabin/user_blog_diary.php?did=85136
此文被有些網站轉載,在那些被ZT的論壇里也同樣有各種評說。
綜述大家的意見如下:有視小兒為反美小將的;有贊他分析力強的;有說他無知無趣的;有罵他小五毛的;有將他歸為童言無忌的;更有擔心他已被洗腦的。當然,也有些讀者將小兒的思想歸罪於我的不教之過,庸俗膚淺,和極端觀念。也有人說:孩子的思維必然是父母思想的鏡子反映。
其實,在我家裡,孩子們一直被教育的是要學會用他們自己的眼睛去觀察周圍的世界。學會用他們自己有限的認知來評估他們看到的一切。他們被我引導的只是獨立思考的原則。他們被教的是不人云亦云,不隨大流。他們被灌輸的是想錯了,想歪了不可怕。怕的是不知道該如何去獨立思想。
兒子們從小就知道大人們說的做的不一定就是對的。老師在課堂上講的也不是不可被挑戰的。他們二位,特別是小兒,在這種環境下自然而然地會對他們周圍的一些事 情發表他們的見解。對於孩子們的童言,無論是多麼荒謬, 我從來不加以訓斥。讓他們自己漸漸明白他們的錯誤所在。讓他們慢慢去體會錯誤的言論與思維是如何形成的;如何糾正的。這並不等於說在行為上,兄弟倆沒有被 規範。但是在思想上,我還真是從來不預設框架,反而總是獎勵他們獨特的見解–既便是天方夜談。
當然,孩子們的看法總有偏差之處。與其告訴他誤在何處,倒還不如讓他去自我發現,自我校正。誠然,每個父母的parenting skills和styles都不可能相同,也不可能都被互相認可。我的放養術肯定是不可能被所有父母接受的。
孩子的世界觀難免受到環境的影響。拿小兒的那幾段"反美"言論來說,他是很明顯地受了加拿大相對於美國的自卑情結Canadian inferiority complex的影響。這種情結是心理上的一種糾結,大概只有在對美加兩國的文化和歷史差異有一定程度了解的讀者才能真正體會得到。
美加兩地的強弱在國際政治和經濟上相差極大。國民心態也全然不同。美國人民對世界的認識是以美國為中心,而加拿大人則常常把世界視為自己的中心。通常美國人在海外旅行以自己是美國人而自豪;而加拿大人則時常對被誤認為美國人而悶悶不樂。不少加拿大人在海外,常常會自報家門:“I am Canadian”以別於美國人。因為在說話口音上,根本很難對這兩地的國民有所區別。
基於這種強弱之別,加拿大人就像任何弱勢者一樣,對美國會盡心盡力去了解,去分析。但是作為強者的美國人,卻時常以傲慢示人,對加拿大很少去動腦筋思想。舉 例來說:百分百的加拿大人知道美國在位總統是誰,首都在何處;而百之九十以上的美國人不知加拿大總理是何人,更不曉得加拿大建都在那裡。有關美加之間的區別,有興趣可以參考An American’s view of Canada一文。這種區別,在對國民擁有槍械的認識上;在對同性戀婚姻法案的認可上;在對公費醫療服務的接受等等問題上則更是經渭分明。
我想,正是由於兒子的加拿大國民屬性,和他從小就被鼓勵去獨立思考的家教,才會在那天發出要鄙視美國人的聲音。他有他的道理。他還在成長,他的world view一定會改變。思想的正確與否,並非一定是只有黑白兩種選擇。
為父的我,依然堅信孩子們獨立思想,和自由意志的表述不該被父母強制規範。我可以不認同兒子的思想,但我必須提供他一個安全的時空來表達他的想法。我會一直告訴他:你的獨立思想不容侵犯,雖然你還是個孩子。
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加拿大相對於美國的自卑情結Canadian inferiority complex:
Many cultural commentators in Canada have also suggested that a similar process operates in that country as well. The specific phrase "cultural cringe" is not widely used to label the phenomenon in Canada, although it has been used in isolated instances; more typically, Canadian cultural commentators speak of a "Canadian inferiority complex", or label specific instances of the phenomenon with satirical terms such as beaver hour.
Prior to the 1970s, Canadian radio stations gave almost no airtime to Canadian music, and apart from CBC Television, Canadian television stations spent very little money on Canadian-produced programming. The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) adopted Canadian content regulations to resolve this, although even today such regulation is still criticized by some Canadians as representing inappropriate government interference in the right of Canadians to choose US entertainment.
Similarly, English-language Canadian film has an extremely difficult time garnering an audience in Canada.
It has also been claimed that some segments of Quebec society experience cultural cringe in relation both to the rest of Canada and to France. In addition, some western Canadians, mainly from the province of Alberta also have an extended cultural cringe from the rest of Canada. The feeling of isolation from mainstream Canada, and envy of the more populated provinces of Ontario and Quebec contribute to this inferiority complex.
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有關美加之間的區別,有興趣可以參考An American’s view of Canada:
It’s not just the weather that’s cooler in Canada: You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn’t gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn’t always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he’s there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you’ve seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult – more secure. They aren’t afraid of foreigners. They aren’t afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they’re not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.