话说上个世纪三十年代,共党在中国的江西一带筑巢无数,给蒋中正为首的民国政府带来无尽烦恼。蒋中正立场坚定,一口“攘外必先安内”,定下了围剿共党的大略。 无奈,共党狡猾。国军几次三番出兵,共党军队溜个贼快,名曰:船小掉头快。“攘外必先安内”大略的实现总是未见端倪。蒋委员长看在眼里,急在心里。 于是乎,蒋公亲上江西战区督阵,虽然如是,战事也是进展有限。这可把蒋公急了个乡音不绝、“良西皮”缭绕。时任江西大员熊希龄十分害怕,为了安抚蒋公的情绪,连哄带骗,把蒋委员长挪到了庐山的“美庐公馆”。 到了庐山,蒋公也无暇观赏景色,倒是整天在自己二楼的办公室里持着文明棍急躁地来回踱步,一有不利的消息传来,文明棍大有把地板敲穿的势态,“良西皮”更是家常便饭。 住在楼下的宋美龄急夫君之所急。一日,她跑上二楼,对蒋公说:“Darling 啊,你也别老生闷气,口不离‘良西皮’,如是这般对身体不好。这样吧,我来给你讲个 ‘洋-SSIPPI' 的故事。” 于是乎,宋美龄就把她青年时代在美国时听来的一则笑话讲了一遍: A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following; "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi." 蒋公不愧是在十里洋场上海滩混过的,他的洋泾浜英语还行,宋美龄的笑话他也消化了八九不离十。蒋公怒言道:“洋-SSIPPI的,我早就知道墨索里尼治下不出好人,那两个意大利人不仅玩多P、还玩断背,我等信主的岂能容忍。这两小子要是落到我的手中,一定送重庆歌乐山渣滓洞,和薄熙来一同唱《我的太阳》打发日子。”
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