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美国人的感恩习惯可能很不同
感恩节到了,是一个让人们更新对感恩的记忆的节日。说来有趣,当初人类感谢火鸡的救命之恩,结果却是更多的火鸡被年复一年的宰杀。或许。人类的理论是:至少,我们给了这许多原本不应该出现、存在的火鸡,享受了一次生存的机会,虽然它们的生命最终只能是短暂。
感恩是对他人给予的感谢、感激、回报。这种回报不一定就是对等的物质性的回报,很多时候所需要的,只是一种心情的表示。
根据百度百科的定义:感恩多用作形容词,怀着感谢他人施予自己恩惠的心情对待他人或者去回馈社会。 感恩是一种处世哲学,也是生活中的大智慧。一个智慧的人,不应该为自己没有的斤斤计较,也不应该一味索取使自己的私欲膨胀。学会感恩,为自己已有的而感恩,感谢生活给予你的一切。这样你才会有一个积极的人生观,才会有一种健康的心态。
哈哈,中文仔细读起来,还是带有这个时代的中国特色。
中国人习惯于“记住人家的好”,也就是美国佬所说的“感恩”。不同的是,中国人很多时候习惯于将“记得住人家的好”这件事搞的太过度,所以,在美国,我们也时常因为这样的习惯,而误解美国佬的“感恩心”不如中国人。
实际上,很多时候,这只是一种误解。
中国人喜欢送大礼,觉得“小利”不足以给对方留下足够的,值得让自己在未来获得更好回报的“礼尚往来”的结果。
而美国人不同,一笔就是一笔,没有未来回报的问题,一次性搞掂!
也就是因为这样的原因,美国佬习惯于用小礼物,来表示自己当时的心情,并且是仅此而已,你对此不要,也不应该“想入非非”,寄予太不切美国实际的预期。而对于此,中国人很多时候,可能会觉得所给予的“礼物”的分量不够!
所以,在美国,当你与人打交道时,最好不要希望“留有余味”,否则,你会很失望,有时候可能还会受到伤害,而且还不知道是为什么。
这,就是文化差异造成的。
而我,更喜欢美国这样的文化——简单、不拖泥带水。
就是这样的细小差异,让美国人活的比咱们在中国的中国人,要轻松的很多。不像咱们那些生活在国内的同胞,真天被没完没了的人情世故折腾的暗无天日。最终,你不参与不行,参与了也不行。累死累活的结果,也只是累死累活,完全是一场没完没了的大家都输的游戏!
中国的人情世故习俗,如果有一天能够达到美国这样轻松、清廉的地步,中国人将会因此而节省出大量的时间和精力,来做些有创造性、建设性的事情。那样一来,中国人的创造性和创造力就会今非昔比了。
如果深入问下去,这么纠缠不清的人情世故的存在和被继续的强化,到底是什么原因造成的?恐怕不能仅仅用中国人的传统来描述和解释了。
政治的腐败,恐怕还是最重要的原因!
再者一点,虽然美国佬感恩心比普通中国人做的好,但是,同时,你也应该看到,美国人也不都是道德高尚的圣人。喜欢占小便宜,在美国也是很常见的事。占便宜是感恩行为的对立面。一方面是感恩行为的普遍性,另一方面又是占小便宜的常见。也是这个原因,经济学家将人们的“犯规”行为归为理性选择的结果,而不是本性坏的表现。也就是说,不“应该”被上升到道德败坏的层次去。
下面这篇文章非常有趣,告诉你美国大商场流行已久的小偷习俗:很多大商店的店员喜欢盗窃自己店里面的货物,而且,数量还非常大。小到避孕套,大到珠宝,应有尽有,当然都是藏起来比较容易之物了。
祝大家感恩节快乐。
UPDATE: 8 products shoplifters love to steal
10:16 AM ET 11/27/13 | Dow Jones
By Quentin Fottrell
Retailers call it shrinkage -- an umbrella term for
inventory lost via clerical error, damage and, yes, shoplifting.
On Wednesday, J.C. Penney (JCP) CEO Mike Ullman said on a
conference call that although the business has turned a corner, employee theft and
shoplifting are a problem. "This cannot continue," Ullman said.
"We are putting processes and disciplines back in place to control
inventory shortage in our stores." But J.C. Penney isn't the only retailer
with this problem: $13 billion worth of goods are stolen from U.S. stores
annually, the National Association for Shoplifting Prevention estimates, and
shoplifters are reportedly only caught every 48 times they shoplift; by then, a
regular shoplifter has already stolen $1,800 worth of goods.
So retailers are fighting back. Nearly two dozen major U.S. stores
apprehended 1.1 million shoplifters last year, an increase of 7% on the year
before, according to the 25th Annual Retail Theft Survey conducted by Jack L.
Hayes International, a loss-prevention consulting firm. Over $138 million was
recovered from apprehended shoplifters in 2012, an increase of almost 23% from
2011. And often, the culprit was right under the store's nose. Some $715 per
person was recovered from dishonest employees in 2012, over five times as much
as was recovered from other shoplifters ($129) on average, the Jack L. Hayes
survey found. (And there's another form of shoplifting -- "sweet
hearting" -- in which employees and outsiders work together.)
Which eight products shoplifters target most often -- and
why.
-- By Quentin Fottrell
Cosmetics
Beauty products may particularly appeal to those who are
nursing personal grievances. Theft can be a way of compensating for emotional
distress, says Rachel Shteir, author of "A Cultural History of
Shoplifting," who reviewed academic research and interviewed stores and
shoplifters for her book. "Whether they were amateurs or professionals, a
common thread among shoplifters is the idea of revenge." Hair growth
formula like Rogaine, teeth-whitening strips, makeup, and facial cream are some
of the preferred pilfered items. "Some people feel resentful that they
have to pay a high price for them," she says. "They feel like they
have already paid a high price for having genes that make them look the way
they do."
Pregnancy tests
Pregnancy tests are also among the items most commonly
targeted by thieves -- particularly organized-crime networks -- according to
the National Retail Federation's 2013 Organized Retail Crime Survey. The
reason: They're easy to resell online, says Kathy Grannis, a spokeswoman for
the NRF.
Younger shoppers might steal pregnancy test because
they're too embarrassed to take them to the register, but adults shoplifters
account for much of the problem. After all, some 75% of shoplifters are adults,
says Barbara Staib, a spokeswoman for the National Association for Shoplifting
Prevention. In fact, there are approximately 27 million shoplifters -- roughly
1 in 11 people -- in the U.S. who steal more than $35 million in goods from stores every day.
Baby formula
"Baby formula has a worldwide audience," says
Richard C. Hollinger, professor and chair at the department of sociology and
criminology & law at the University of Florida in Gainesville. "The powdered variety is
light, has a low shipping cost and can be sold online." Baby formula is a
another prime target of organized criminals who hit stores in groups, carrying
"booster bags." These are shopping bags that look like they're made
out of paper, Hollinger says, but they're lined with aluminum foil so products
with electronic surveillance tags can be quietly taken through the exit without
setting off the store's alarm system.
Men's razors
Men's razors are among the most popular stolen items
cited by both the National Retail Federation and research firm Euromonitor
International's Global Retail Theft Barometer. "People shoplift items they
really want, but also those that they believe are overpriced," Shteir
says. Gillette's Mach 3 is one brand that fits that sweet spot -- a packet of
12 Mach 3 cartridges costs around $30. There's also a healthy black market for
men's razors.
Jewelry
Necklaces and rings are easily slipped into a pocket, and
not so easily tagged, says Kathy Rodkey, author of "The Customer Isn't
Always Right." What's more, watches, bracelets and even earrings can be
worn out of the store in full view of security cameras and staff. At one chain
store Rodkey researched for her book -- which did not have an attendant
counting items at the fitting room -- $10 million worth of jewelry was stolen
in one year, she says. There is always a heavy demand for gold and silver, it's
easily resold or melted down, and it's often difficult to trace, Rodkey says.
Underwear
Designer underwear just walks out of department stores.
It's more difficult to keep track of than other types of garments, says Rodkey,
who is also a former sales associate at two major retailers. "Shoplifters
will put three or four bras on them, three bathing suits, four or five pairs of
underwear and then put their regular clothes on over them," she says.
Others shop for a whole new wardrobe and leave their old clothes behind.
"There is no security company in the world that can put a camera in a
fitting room, so it's almost impossible to catch underwear shoplifters,"
she says.
Condoms
After selling condoms on shelves for two decades, some
drug stores have begun locking them up in glass cabinets to prevent theft, but
Shteir says many stores still sell them openly. Some owners view it as a public
health and customer service issue -- as well as a security one -- as younger
consumers may feel embarrassed to ask for condoms. "It's a dilemma for
retailers," Hollinger says. "If they're in a cabinet, they won't sell
as many." And yet their small size and relatively high price tempts some
people to pop them into their pocket.
iPhone accessories
There's a new high-tech target in town. Smartphone
chargers, cases and headphones -- particularly if they're made by Apple or for
Apple products -- have a cache for thieves, according to the latest Global
Retail Theft Barometer, which surveys 160,000 stores around the world. Most
electronic accessories are not wired or nailed to the counter like smartphones,
tablets or computers, Shteir says. Indeed, her research shows that people also
shoplift for friends and family. "Wages are flat and many middle class
people can no longer afford the luxury items they like," she says,
"especially around the holidays."
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