Societas Iesu/Society of Jesus/Jesuits/ㄧㄝㄙㄨ会团/耶稣会神父Fr. James N. Chevedden/谢为霖在华人社会传教的事迹：原文汉语https://www.bishop-accountability.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/documents-In-Memoriam-Fr-James-N-Chevedden-SJ-2004-06-01.pdf，英文翻译随后。希望读者反馈、提供信息。

Bp10謝為霖神父追思彌撒證道詞

王楚華神父

諸位親愛的姐妹兄弟們:

你們今晚在一天緊張的工作後，特地趕來參加我們敬愛的謝為霖神父的追思彌撒，我本人內心非常感謝。我和謝神父幾年來吃住在同一棟大樓中，比一般人對他可能有較深刻的瞭解。我認為謝神父是我接觸過的美國神職人員中最溫良謙和的一位。對謝神父的突然去世，我內心是非常的悲痛惋惜。謝神父的祖先是歐洲北部波蘭天主教的教友，我想大家都知道，我們當今受到全世界天主教教友敬愛和尊重的教宗也是波蘭人。謝神父的父親是一位美國空軍機械工程師，在第二次世界大戰時，他在美國空軍基地曾經盡心竭力把美國作戰受損的空軍飛機即時修理好，使之能再起飛作戰。對第二次世界大戰做出了卓越的貢獻。他父親退休後，定居在洛杉磯。謝神父是一對雙胞胎兄弟中的哥哥，他的弟弟現在仍是單身漢，很孝順地侍奉著年過九十四歲的老父親。

我們敬愛的謝神父，從年幼就立志修道做耶穌會士。他在美國進耶穌會，經過初學、文學和哲學的培訓後，他克服各種困難。到臺灣去先修中文，讀完神學後，就盡心竭力犧牲為臺灣教友做牧靈工作。他在晉升神父不久，便自告奮勇地到臺灣南部一個新開關的小堂口，獨自一人做本堂神父。除了每天做彌撒，平時行和好與敷油聖事及牧靈工作外，下午更開辦一間幼兒院。謝神父很神貧，自己做飯吃。我們大家都知道，幼兒園的工作是件非常繁忙且吃力不討好的工作。最後謝神父因為勞累過度，精神上紛亂不能自主。於是被長上調回美國來休養。他就被家人邀請到老父親家裡去調理。在洛杉磯休養一年後，被調到我們灣區來為華人教友服務。我們的謝神父為人忠厚老實，他真誠為教友無私地服務，到處受到教友的歡迎。

謝神父的主要工作，是自己開車去費利蒙為華人教會服務。他在主日下午，給費利蒙教友兒童先講要理，下午四點鐘就和家長一起参加國語彌撒的聖祭部份。除了主日外，謝神父更在星期一晚上去費利蒙主持青年聖母軍與成人聖母軍開週會。除了主日外，謝神父更為我們南區教友主持讀經分享，每月兩次。此外，更抽空不辭辛苦地到Berkeley參加讀經分享。我們勤奮的謝神父，又去主持天主教東方禮的主日彌撒。謝神父是赤膽忠誠，對教友來請求他做的牧靈工作，他從來不會拒絕。以致他勞累過度，經醫生開藥方，給他每日安靜神經的藥吃，為他保持心靈平靜。不料在五月十九日下午，謝神父被聖荷西法院指定去参加做法庭陪審團員。由於謝神父做事一向認真負責全神貫注參與，一個下午的法庭訴訟，幾個小時後，直到法庭結束時，謝神父已頭昏眼花迷失了方向，在四層樓高的停車場內找不到自己的車。我猜想他要找一個出口，由於眼花昏眩，而把高樓的窗又口誤認為是一樓出口，就匆匆忙忙向外衝，他從高樓上直接跌落到下面水泥地上而離別了人間。這很有可能是仁慈的天主，要把工作超過人限度的謝神父接回天國享福去了。

由此可見謝神父根本不是跳樓自殺的。大家都知道自殺者大多數是自己生活行為放蕩不羈;因墮落失望而以自殺來結束自己的生命，是自己製造罪孽的懦夫。而我們敬愛的謝神父卻是鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已的一位好司鐸。

Bp11基督的善牧--謝为霖神父

萬致第

謝為霖神父是美國南加州洛杉磯人，是樂生兄弟中的弟弟，一九六六年在美國入耶穌會初學院，深受一位神父的影響，嚮往到外方傳教，當讀完哲學時，即前往台灣耶穌會神學院就讀。以無比的毅力，用中文唸完神學課程，於一九七八年七月卅一日在台灣晉鐸;神父先後在台南聖心堂的百達宿舍任舍監，在高雄六龜任本堂神父，在輔仁大學做神學研究，在靜山任靈修輔導，返美後專攻靈修輔導，並對拜占庭教會的歷史與禮儀也有深入的研究。

謝神父是我們中國人所謂的謙謙君子，有書生般的氣質，彈得一手好鋼琴，當他彈奏AlleyCat時就像沙龍裹的琴手，給人一種輕鬆又愉快的感覺，但是他也有不改本色的時候，如大洛杉磯區的開車架勢，你若不會祈禱，請他載你一程，你一定就會祈禱了。

神父是一位學者，也是一位好牧者，那顆單純愛主的心，不用言傳，我們都會感受到善牧愛了祂的羊群。我們感謝天主給了我們這麼一位好神父。

Bp11有限的生命無盡的愛

賴照郁

謝為霖祌父殯葬彌撒的當天早晨，天色灰暗又飄著毛毛細雨，前晚夜裡更下了一場莫名的大雨。夜裡被雨聲打醒，再也難以入眠。走進聖堂前，看著外頭凄風苦雨，心裡真是無盡的酸楚。知道今天要在彌撒中講幾句懷念謝神父的話，心裡著實不知自己是否會哽咽難言，甚是泣不成聲。

有緣認識謝神父，是在五年前搬往南區，開始參加南區查經班時。記得第一次見面時，神父看出我們是新面孔，便很親切地問候我和孩子們。在閒談之中，才知道神父曾在台灣傳教二十幾年，也學了一又流利的中文。在往後的查經聚會中，謝神父總是準時出席。無論當晩參與的人数有多少，查經的進度有多緩慢，他始終耐心地陪件著我們。在他的口中，沒有嚴厲的訓誨，更沒有個人的判斷。他總是默默地付出，照顧我們靈修上的需要。

記得有一年夏天，神父接下了在台灣短期的事奉工作。雖然無法參加我們的查經分享，但他仍時時心念著我們。他從台灣為我們寄來了許多中文的解經書籍，希望能對我們查經有所幫助。神父對我們查經班，真的是用心良苦。在二零零三年底時，神父對我說，他以後可能無法再參加我們的聚會，因為Fremont團體的需要已日漸加重。我乍聽之下，非常失望，但同時也瞭解Fremont團體更需要他。我只是告訴他，我們會非常想念他，希望他有空便回來看我們。沒想到過了兩天，神父來了一封e-mail，告訴我他還是會盡量抽空。每個月來參加一次我們的聚會。讀著他的e-mail，我心裡好感動。我知道這麼多年來，神父與南區已建立了深厚的感情，他實在捨不得我們。

謝神父遽逝的消息傳來之時，我正與南區的朋友商量該如何為神父慶生。没想到預定在星期五晚上的慶生會，竟成了追思祈禱會。我知道當晚那麼多的淚水與不捨，懷念與感謝，都隨著我們聲聲的祈禱，化為縷縷輕煙，傅給了在天上的謝神父。看著謝神父的棺木要被移出聖堂之時，我淚水再度決堤。撫摸著他的棺木，與他作最後的道別。在這離別傷痛的背後，我深深的體驗到，我們與謝神父在世上的相聚雖然短暫有限，但他走進我們每一個家庭及每個人的內心深處，改變了我們。因著他，我們體驗到天主無限的慈愛。

Bp12謝謝謝神父

喻麗清

每次想起謝神父就先想到他的聲音。他說話慢條斯理，可能像我們說英文一樣先得在腦子裡把中英文轉換一遍，因為慢顯得很gentle但也不會讓人覺得遲鈍。我記得的他，最可貴的是他的歌聲:他在每一次的彌撒中所唱出的那種聲音，真像天使一樣。每一次的彌撒他都是那樣的恭敬，gentle而又恭敬，是只有謙单的人才能達到的境地。每一次他要講的道理，都是認認真真的用中文寫下來的，有時他的認真比他要講的道理更叫我們感動。其實他不用傳教，他就用他的德性就能傳染給我們一份神聖的愛了。

每次他給我們做完彌撒後，我總是忍不住由衷的說道:謝謝天主，謝謝謝神父。

如今他帶著我們大家由衷的感謝走了，真的離開了我們。但我還是常常想到他天使般的歌聲，只有他那樣純真、那樣不世故的神父才能唱得出那種歌聲。直到他的葬禮，在大家的追憶中提及，我才知道原來他還會作曲也熱愛音樂，是個多才多藝的神父。可惜，我們平日看到的他都只是一小部份的他，直到他走了我們才看清了他的全部。謝謝你，謝神父，就是你的死也帶給了我們某種覺悟:我們平日所尋找的天主，難道不也是片面的、局部的嗎?

我第一次見到謝神父是七、八年前在柏克荣莱的每月一次的查經會中，一見他立刻使我想起以前我在台北耕莘文教院為他工作的那位張志宏神父來。謝神父說話的態度和笑起來的姿勢簡直跟張神父一個模子印出來的，張神父也是愛爾蘭的美國人，也是把一生都奉獻給了台灣，這樣的巧合因此使我對謝神父特有好感。後來思靈告訴我:謝神父八十年代在柏克萊唸碩士學位時就常到查經會來，跟我們柏克萊的教友可算是最老的朋友。唸完碩士他就去了台灣，七八年在台升神父後就留在當地服務，直到九五年患病後才由台灣回來。謝神父是個念舊的人，雖然回美後住在Los Altos，可是每個月的第二個星期六他一定會來與我們相聚。最後的一聚是在我的家中，那天是母親節，我們吃得很愉快談得很愉快，謝神父還分給我們每人一張評論《達芬奇密碼》一書的複印文章，他說那本解讀達芬奇的書對天主教是不公平的，有許多扭曲之處，他很不以為然。我們都沒有看過原著，即使看了，相信也不會像謝神父一樣要去爭什麼公道。可是謝神父他對待天主教的道理古板而認真，回想起來真對不住他，相形之下我們的不認真帶給他多少的失望與難過啊!

誰也不會想到那天在我家的一聚就是最後的晚餐了。他坐在沙發裡對我們的言不及義沈默不語，臨走只說:「下次什麼時候我們再來好嗎?」我說:「好啊，感恩節、聖誕節都可以。」就這樣子送他出了門，遠遠地我看到思靈和小華送他上的車。進車時他揮了揮手，我揮了揮手，還以為感恩節不久就會到來。

生有時死有時，誰不明白它的道理呢?也許我們悲傷的是我們沒有預知的能力。倘若我們能知道謝神父是會不告而別的，我們又能為他做些什麼呢?

謝神父，為您與我們在一起的日子我們感謝您，為您的不告而別我們想念您，願您在天上的家裡也一樣能與我們的心靈同在。謝謝，謝神父。

Bp13在聖神肉得勝

孟慶榮

五月二十日的早上，我在保祿宗徒致羅馬人書第八章第一節至第十一節內，領悟到基督徒在聖神內得勝的真諦，我想保祿宗徒常自誇他的軟弱，他是最真實地體認我們人的有限，相對地也彰顯出天主無限的仁慈與美善。當晚，驚聞謝神父去世的消息，心裹好難過，我反覆思想天主在這件事，對於我及團體的意義。

我雖然不敢自誇自己的軟弱與有限，但卻在聖神的指引下，讓我一次又一次經驗到天主對我的教導和寬仁。天主讓我認識到唯有透過聖神及自我的意識和不斷地與天主和好，才能在軟弱中跌倒後再次站立在天主的台前。

謝神父和我們團體非常的親密，早在多年前我還在聖荷西華人天主教會之時，就已經認識他。我知道他有身體上的軟弱，便開始為謝神父祈禱。我從來不曾與任何人談起謝神父的病，甚至連我太太也不清楚。我常想天主真是安排特殊，因為今天這個社會，有太多太多的壓力，尤其在矽谷，華人在此地生活倍感艱難，以我自己為例，就經驗到四次被裁員的經驗。神父雖然因為生病提早退休，住在Los Gatos的耶穌會士退休住所。然而他卻艱辛地克服自己的病苦，繼續為教會服務。我想我們團體中真正了解神父身體情況的並不多。這些年來，他除了出國或出城，幾乎每個星期天的主日彌撒，都會提早至少半個鐘頭到教堂來，我們一塊參與感恩祭。

神父喜歡音樂，也會作曲。有一次神父把他的作品「天主經」及「真福八端」拿給我看，並且謙虛地說:「你看看這两首歌可不可以在彌撒中使用。」後來，我告訴神父，我想建議修改一部份，不知道神父同不同意。謝神父笑笑地回答:「没有關係!」於是，我把我改的部份唱給神父聽，謝神父說:「很好!很好!」，並且當場就把他的作品給修改過。他就是那麼的謙遜的一位神父。

團體中，除了聖母軍、青年組的星期五晚上查經班、成年們的神操靈修、青少年的主日學，以及彌撒中為孩子們用英語的講道，謝神父都是風雨無阻，而且必定是準時或及時参與。看到神父經常開那麼遠的車來幫助我們團體，我決定以團體的名義每月補助神父一點點汽油錢，於是請曼玲去買了油卡，當我把油卡私底下交給神父時，神父還問我:「團體的經費夠用嗎?」我說:「沒問題，只是太讓神父操勞了。」我知道神父是位謹守神貧的耶穌會士，每次他來和我申請費用，都是買書或材料給教友或青少年們。有一次，神父在傳協會議之後，私下問我說:「我想捐一筆錢給你們華人團體。」他說他的父親給了他一筆錢，他因為聽到我們在會議中討論到最近的收入和支出的事，認為他應該幫助我們。我告訴神父不必操心我們團體的經費，我們的錢足夠用。

謝神父是個凡事追求盡善盡美的人，當他答應為我們做的事，從不失言，可是很少人知道，他因為身體健康的因素，必須長期服藥，才能克服身體上的困難和軟弱。有幾次我看到神父的精神不太好，可是卻依舊和我們在一起，我知道他是在忍受病苦，堅強地面對自己的軟弱。看著神父斜著頭，無神地看著我，我心裹好感動，我知道他又失眠了，他累了。

天主揀選了謝神父，並且召叫了他成為我們的神長，雖然神父在肉體上，經常地要與自己的病奋戰，可是在精神上，他那不屈不撓，鞠躬盡瘁、愛教友、愛團體、愛天主的典型模範，必將在教會中每一位弟兄姐妹的心裹，留下天主為我們團體所準備的一份珍貴的禮物。保祿宗徒說:「如果那使耶穌從死者中復活者的聖神住在你們內，那麼，那使基督從死者中復活的，也必要籍那住在你們內的聖神，使你們有死的身體復活。」為了愛的緣故，謝神父勇敢地不斷面對自己的身體上的軟弱，他雖然離開這世界，離我們而去，但是我確信，他已在聖神內得勝，並且將來必與主基督一樣，獲得復活和永生。

Bp14折翼的天使星潔

在羅耀拉高中，耶穌對年青的Chevedden說:「你愛我嗎?」「你牧放我的羊。」他順服地進入了耶穌會，用十二年的青春為陶成做準備;進鐸後，耶穌對熱情的司鐸Chevedden說:「你愛我嗎?」「餵養我遙遠的子民。」他謙卑聽命地飄洋到台灣，竭盡心力地去學習中文，重新開始另一種截然不同的生活和適應陌生國度的文化;耶穌會院中，耶穌對正在休養的謝神父說:「你愛我嗎?」「帶領我華人的子女。」忠信的答覆將他带進了我們這個人数不多的小團體。

初見神父留下溫文儒雅，有些靦腆內向的印象，在日後的相處中才感受到溫和謙遜的態度背後是深沈內斂的祈禱生活和豐富精深的神學涵養。在團體的成長中，他無怨尤地回應我們各式的需求:主日學的老師沒有人要做;帶青年組可不是好玩的差事;幼聖母軍成立需要神長;聖寵之母的聖母軍支團和教理促進會都少不了司鐸的指導;彌撒時的孩童英文宣講，青少年領洗、領聖事前的慕道、講道....深厚的神學、中英俱精、加上不會拒絕，謝神父總是我們的不二首選，我們視為理所當然。聚會的遲到、缺席，我們漸漸習以為常，而他迢迢遠至總是準時出席，含忍等待，永不抱怨。並且在如此繁重的工作外，大概實在不忍見教友們對靈修的輕忽而主動提出願幫助大家做依納爵的神操，幫助我們度一個更有深度的信仰生活。

藉此我得以有機會和神父個別深度的交談，有時我提及某人的痛苦和抑鬱，他不管是否認識，總表示極度的關切和同情，更願伸出援手，予以幫忙。常常我們容易迷失在「愛」這個信仰「名詞」的研究上，而謝神父在他含蓄沈默的外表下不用言語而以身力行來詮釋「動詞」的「愛」。

這些年來，神父深受心理精神方面的困擾，在他美麗的心中默默承受著別人無法想像的爭戰和沈重的十字架，對此我們竟一無所悉。相較於他的付出和受苦，我們的關懷和珍惜顯得如此微不足道。就如同折翼的天使，我們無法體會他的痛，卻享受著聖神的果實如春風般和煦，感受到他聖德的馨香和捨己奉獻的光芒。

五十六年前天主為華人子女們備下了一顆無私犧牲的種子，用一生來答覆天主的召叫，愛主愛人更敬禮聖母的神父在生日的同一天，仁慈的天父終止了他的病苦折磨，在聖母月中回歸天家，在那兒有親愛的聖母和他在天上的母親展臂歡迎他，留下虧欠、不捨的我們，來不及對神父說聲:「對不起!」您默默承受著痛苦，我們卻漠然享受著您的付出和關愛，總以為日久天長，愕然間，汗顏的我們卻來不及還愛。

「謝謝您!」用您的一切來餵養天主的子民，緘默而深刻的反映著基督的臨在，以愛燃燒至生命的最後一滴蠟淚，願您這一粒麥子的入土，讓我們在深切的反省中敲醒那無視旁人、遲鈍的心。

「今生已盡，苦已受完，但我還要愛...」願您在天上的祝福，在我們的心中結出愛的麥穗，藉著同一的信仰，憑著望德的心，謝神父，我們的牧者，今日暫別，來日天主台前，我們「再見!」

寫於五月二十七日告別式的深夜

Bp15黃烏翩翩楊柳垂，春風送客使人悲

-送別謝爲霖神父

小華

〝黃鳥翩翩楊柳垂，春風送客使人悲，

怨別自驚千里外，論交卻憶十年時。”

去年聖誕佳節的歡悦之後，慈母教會引領我們進入內斂、靜默、反省、克苦、祈禱、做補贖期。當這靈修的旅程終止於十字架下的傷痛，天國的兒女，在世上兵戎相見，國內選舉不清明之際，仍嚐到了復活節不凡的喜悅，天國的預見。

柏城查經班蒙主深深的眷顧，有一位溫良恭儉的牧人--謝為霖神父一路相隨相伴，他的臨在，他的病苦，他的奉獻，他的代禱，為我們求得了豐沛的恩寵，向耶穌聖愛再靠近一些。五月查經是在麗清滿室書香菜香的新家舉行。飯後神父路遠先告辭。思靈、麗清和我送神父上車。我們欣賞園中美麗的春花，在路邊向神父鞠躬致謝。思靈般勤的為他開車門，再請他一路小心開車。這就是我們和他最後的道別。乍聞神父離世，外子和我多日失魂落魄，真是教人如何不想他!

二十五年前，神父在柏城攻讀學位時就非常謙遜的以成員身份參加了我們的查經班。論文再緊鑼密鼓，他都不曾缺席。並且非常用心的準備以餵養他的羊群。當時有位教友，新來乍到，語言，工作，經濟，婚姻皆有難處。神父只有從他可憐的睡眠裡抽時間給他打氣、加油、想辦法。如有教友請神父小吃打牙祭，神父也都帶著他同去。在神父週四的遺容瞻仰及週五的追恩彌撤裡這位飽經憂患，如今己入順境的堅強教友，男兒淚灑，無法自已。

二十三年前，樸兒誕生後兩週，外子獨自一人去查經。傍晚時分，神父蒞臨寒舍，給予降福，賜以主保聖人的掛像。神父有時看到教友家庭初為人父母的張惶失措，他會想起自己的母親當年是如何抱大他們這對雙生兒。念母孝思，溢於言表。

與神父再度重逢，他已因憂鬱症由臺回美。我們曾得到過許可，每週和思靈、瑞驄及澤蒼一同赴醫院探望，然後陪神父在舊金山街頭的暮色中散步，進入餐館享受可又小菜和親情。最後送神父回醫院，一週後再見。

神父病情日漸起色，終於可以出院回到修院靜養。有一天，他引領我們参觀拜占庭的教堂。他詳細的解說。看到我們欣賞聖像富麗的色彩，著迷於壁畫中的聖經故事以及教堂中濃濃的東方氣氛，神父開心極了。那是記憶中一段何等甜美的時光。後來方知，神父餘生必須服藥，而服藥的副作用，讓我們看了心痛不已。斯人也，而有斯疾也!

神父實在是個好善牧。病成這樣，他仍然風雨無阻，每月來查經。在獻彌撒時，他一定端肅儀容，揖讓以昇。讓人油然而升虔敬之心。他講的道理是用中文一字一字事先預寫下來的。查經的內容，他更是旁徵博引，用很短的時間提供給大家。我為此不止一次私下及公開的向他致謝。他路途最遠，卻永不遲到。我多懷念每次進屋前就知道會見到他的心中篤定。我雖心存感謝，但心裡以為神父在養病，來柏城對他也許也不錯。結果在瞻仰遺容及追思彌撤中我驚覺神父的工作量之大。聖荷西、費利蒙的中國教會的教友加上柏城的小小羊群，將聖堂擠滿。地主神父們，揮汗添塞座椅。連在祭臺上方，唱經樓，教友們都排排坐。在各團體的簡短追憶中我們聽到修女們對他守時守信獻祭的感謝。同一聖堂不同的團體感謝他不同的帶領。聖母軍，兒童道理班，青年組，詩歌組，國語、粤語加上英語。他的和善、仁慈、慷慨、信守承諾、守時，以及從不抱怨，更不批評論斷，是大家共同的甘美記憶。

瞻仰遺容後回到家已快深夜。夜不成眠。中夜坐超，思潮如水而來。靜聽淅瀝雨聲，心裡實在痛。

第二天，早到一個多小時。靜坐神父棺前，外子和我恭唸玫瑰經。天上慈親，覺得神父的努力實在很夠了，將他接引抱持於懷。我如此感動，我就如此相信。

不久，門開了，進來兩位身材修長的麗人。她們在棺前默禱、鞠躬，最後在棺頂放一朵長枝的玫魂。兩人走到琴前開始照譜練曲。不久費利蒙的詩班到達。我非常高興應邀加入，為音樂造諧極深的神父獻詩，尤其有兩首是他譜曲及作詞的。院長神父在與司琴核對禮儀時向大家致謝。彌撒中他再度向這些肯面對塞車、放下工作的詩班致謝。聖荷西團體除了大批前來的教友外，另有安排追思禮。加上費利蒙中國堂區各團體致贈的花圈，在向我訴說我這位神父朋友生前從不曾向我提過的他的工作，他的努力，他的重要，他的聖德，他得到的尊敬與愛情。

那單枝的玫瑰，在為棺材覆會旗時被拿開，覆旗禮後又被放回。它伴隨神父在禮成之後，走過長廊，消失於視野之外。我感謝這位惠質蘭心的女士，因為她為我們全體放上了深摯的友愛與不捨。天鄉不遠，它將陪件神父走畢全程。 

Bp16刹那的永恆

馮舂萍

來美近十寒暑，在一個尚有餘暉的傍晚，第一次造訪Los Gatos，是為在印象中高大帶有淺淺微笑、溫文儒雅、不輕易發怒、不曾熟悉卻即道珍重的您誦唸玫瑰經。初抵這詳和且優雅的小城鎮，即為之心動而泫然欲泣。

次日清晨，怕塞車趕不上您的追思彌撒，起了個大早，沒想到八點半就又來到這有些濛濛水意摻雜些許涼意的小城。在街上貪婪的欣賞了一個鐘頭，被這具有古典、莊嚴、且現代感的美而深深吸引。心中模糊不具體的感受到這剔透的美是易碎，是隨時使人動心而唏噓，它美得讓人有著說不出的沉重，是因為一位深受大家敬愛的神父的告別?或是因為清晨斷續飄灑著細雨的寧靜?為什麼會有這股讓人窒息而難捨的美?

回到會場，仔細瀏覽您的生活點滴，只想從照片中重新認識你，妤將您珍藏在記𢣁的一角。看到您一筆一劃用心的去譜寫“信經”、“天主經”，記起第一次去柏克萊讀經時，我坐在您旁邊，聽您熟練的誦讀聖經章節，很好奇您為什麼不會吞吐、不會結巴、也沒唸錯，以為您的聖經一定有拼音或記號，結果我錯了，您對中文的透徹著實讓我驚欺不已且自覺羞愧萬分。

再次和您說話是在二零零二年八月，去望St. Joseph Church彌撒，特邀您是否可参加位於Danville的St. Isidore Church在十月的國際語言玫瑰經祈禱，並請您用中文唸天主經及聖母經，您說要回去查Schedule，第二天聽到您溫暖的電話留言:「Joanna我可以去Danville參International Rosary Prayer。」而且宇正腔圓的完成了。像我這樣微小的無名小羊，您都不忍拒絕，更何況是您所眷顧、所喜愛的其他羊群。

您筋疲力盡的走完了您的道路，等著您帶領的羊群留不住您，那美得盪人魂魄的小城留不住您，那麼就請在天主慈愛的懷抱裡安息吧，我們敬愛的謝神父! 

Bp17 懷念終生盼望耶穌的謝神父

陳淑如

天主的忠僕謝神父於五月十九日離開了人世間，在主光中奔向天主慈愛的懷抱中，與主相偕相行，因他配當在天國的家中，享有永恆的喜樂和平安。

五月二十一日夜晩，耶穌會修院為謝神父舉行了家祭追思祈禱會，在教堂裏見了謝神父最後一面。那躺在棺中的他，平安中帶著微笑，我輕言的告訴他:「你是最好、最棒的神父，我們愛你，想念你。」望著你的面龐，聖樂流動著整個教堂，你是如此的幸福。我曲膝跪在離你最近的座前，一串串的玫瑰經文，請求耶穌的母親，踩著片片玫瑰花道，把我們敬愛的謝神父，引領到天主光榮的聖善國中。淚水不停，不是傷心的眼淚，是聖神內感恩的眼淚。

來自聖荷西、費利蒙的查經班、青少年聖母軍、成人聖母軍、聖依納爵神操小組、外國教會的修女們，及耶穌會的神長、神父們，坐滿教堂，猶如一家人，陪伴著他，疼愛他，在祈禱中訴說我們心中未曾對他表示的愛及無限的謝恩。回首看看在座的人們，有的是德高望重的神父;有的是身懷高科技博士頭街的人;有的是擁有許多財富的人;有的是初露銀芽仰望人世間的莘莘學子...;大家迢迢而來到此山中，想來看看謝神父，想來問候他。不因為他有世俗名利錢財，不因他擁有高等地位或頭街，也不因為他幽默風趣善得人緣。我們懷念他慈愛的眼神，仔細聆聽你的說話;我們懷念他，仔細耐心的找尋聖經的聖言，用來幫助你生活中的疑難，因為他知道，只有耶穌聖言才能救你;我們懷念你，你缓於發怒，無論我們疏失、懶惰爽約，你會用無盡的愛，化為祈禱的樂曲，寬恕一切;我們懷念你，耶穌般的憐憫和謙卑，當我們向你辦告解聖事時，你柔和的眼神，唤醒我們內心深處的悔改，你的謙卑慈祥，給我們的補贖永遠是輕的，輕輕呼喚:天主愛你如珍貴寶貝，不要再犯錯了。

我們尊敬你主持彌撒聖祭時，詠唱愛主的祭獻文，慷慨而宏亮，呼唤著我們內心深鎖的愛情，回應天主的召叫。因我們深深感動謝神父對天主的順服及全心全靈的讚美。回憶你輔導聖依納爵神操小組，在十五分鐘的休息或晚餐後的休息時間，你總手不釋卷，把神修的書或聖經端在雙手，踱步凝神，分分秒秒與天主在一起，在聖神內得休息。謝神父熱愛生命，總叮囑我們不必準備肉食的晚餐，一點魚肉，青菜豆腐就可以了。在他身上，我們清楚的知道，神父的生命有著節制的聖神的果實。

今日提筆懷念謝神父，屡次淚盈面而下，感念他在人世間身心軟弱時所受的痛苦及辛勞;更感念他在世時勇敢的愛天主的子民，在陌生的環境中(台灣)仍艱鉅的𡚒鬥，為了宣講天主的福音，黑夜白日不停操作。他以聖善及正義對待了他認識的每一個人，如同一位父親對待孩子一樣，給予、勸勉、鼓勵、忠告，好叫我們相似那召選他進入祂的國和光榮的天主。

願謝神父在主愛中，仍為我們祈禱，使我們華人團體在聖神裏，學習永遠的盼望，永遠的相信以愛還愛。

Bp18斯人不遠 典型猶存

—懷念謝爲霖神父一

主羊

思念謝神父，原來也不只是想他及與他有關的一切，而是緬懷過去的一段歲月，有他在我們團體中，有他在我們過往的生命中。

謝神父是個博學多才，謙遜內向的神父，所有的知識學問經其沉澱而生活出來卻是沉潛有力。他的話不多，卻是溫柔至致帶給人平安及穩定。在為費利蒙團體服務期間與其有較多的接觸，常看到天主的愛在他心中活出，也藉著他不斷分施給需要的人和團體。

多年來除了每主日與潘神父共祭彌撒外，他還教主日學，聖母軍，青年組查經班，教理促進會及聖依納爵個人神操。光看這些散佈在一、三、五、日的教會活動，就算一個身體健康的人也不勝負荷，更何況他是位長年服藥的病人。據了解，其他日子他還参與成人查經班及主祭的服事。在他的宇典裡没有一個「不」字，將自己身心靈全為主擺上。猶記得那天上山去他的修院參輿他的追思彌撒，我在車上唸完了歡喜、光明、痛苦及榮福四串玫瑰經仍未到達，遙想他多年來，山上、山下來回奔波，悔不當初未體貼他的辛勞。作為一個耶穌會士，他徹底地效法耶穌為其牧養的羊群鞠躬盡瘁，深信慈愛的天父，不忍其病體之苦，早早接他回天鄉享永福。

兩年前的春天，謝神父邀請我們與他一起上舊金山赴汪主教晚宴。他開車又快又穩，在下班擁擠的車潮中，我們依然準時抵達主教官邸。猶記得我沒大沒小說謝神父開起車來像十八歲的年輕人。謝神父不以為忤，歸程中還為我們分享他十八歲時，因心儀學校中一位耶穌會神父為中國服務而吸引了他走入修道生活。

他指導的聖依納爵個人神操，必須與他晤談，我多半約在主日彌撒後，邀他共進晚餐。我在熱菜時，他會彈琴或讀他的書，也讓我學會了如何將等待變成一種喜悅而非焦躁不安。在主日學等孩子們來上課，他手上總是捧著一本書，耐心地在教室內等候。猶記有一次與他聊起修道生活，他告訴我他很高興自己做了神父，修會給他這麼好的環境追求知識學問，牧養他所愛的羊群。

今年的耶穌苦難日，我臨危授命帶團體作基督臨終七言的默想，趕緊求教於謝神父，他即複印一些文章及書供我參考，也親自參與了我們的活動。他真是位活的知識寶庫且又充滿聖德的好牧人，站在背後支持而從不邀功。走筆至此，不禁懷念無数他與潘神父共祭的主日，他在為孩子們宣講主日讀經後，安靜地走上祭台。他陪祭時的謙沖態度與專注神情，無一表達出忠信虔敬的司祭情懷，相信主必眷顧我們，也真是如此!

最後願與主內弟兄姊妹分享謝神父帶我們的最後一堂聖依納爵神操的講義:

有時我們感到天主並未俯允我們的祈禱，我們能理解為什麼嗎?答𡩣在若望福音第九章三十一節:「我們都曉得天主不俯聽罪人，只俯聽那恭敬天主並承行祂旨意的人。」那恭敬天主並承行祂旨意的意思是期麽呢?若望一書第三章二十二節到二十三節教導了我們:「那麼我們無論求什麼，必由祂獲得，因為我們遵守了他的命令，行了祂所喜悦的事。他的命令就是叫我們信他的子耶穌基督的名字，並按照祂給我們所出的命令，彼此相愛。」

我們必須要有信德和愛德，天主才會俯聽我們的祈禱。聖若望將信德與愛德並列，因為信德必須建立在愛德之上，並在愛德中使其滋長。因此我們必須彼此相愛，天主才會俯聽我們的祈求。假如我們看到某人行為有偏差，我們應負起規勸的責任，也要為他(她)祈禱。因為所有的恩寵均來自天主，我們也必須要有行動，為別人伸出援手，光是祈禱不見得有成效，因為天主需要籍我們的行動來答覆眾人的祈禱。

謝神父所遺留下來的這最後一堂課的教導正是他一生的詮釋，也是我們終其一生應努力去操練的功課與活出的信仰。

親愛的謝神父，您匆匆的離去，有太多的話來不及告訴您，但是末能體恤您的愧疚卻常禁繞在心頭。您的痼疾折磨了您数十年，也剝奪了您無数年輕健康生命可享受的一切，但卻未奪走您為主奉獻的自由及決心，您真正活出了主的生命。不再相見不是分離，更不是忘記，因為信仰告訴我們死亡不是生命的結束，只是存在的改變，我們相信來日在天上的新耶路撇冷必能再見到您! 

Bp19 懷念謝神父感言

李琛

謝神父是這麼的安靜不多話，平常對他並無太多的接觸，以致關係總是停在彌撒後的問侯。也曾經因小女璇璇的可愛活潑，與謝神父有多一點點的交談，他會帶著會心的微笑告訴我，小璇璇跟他說了什麼。

去年九月開始，謝神父為了我們靈修上的需要，開始為期一年的依納爵神操，用“日常生活中的神操〞三冊書籍來幫助我們做靈修的工夫。並不辭辛勞及繁忙，一星期一次的來給我們做個別輔導。當時我在想，我從未好好地將一件事從頭至尾，恆心地把它做好完成。這次我要藉這給自己一個靈修、訓練恆心、毅力的機會來做到。便持續地照著書中的進度去做，也很固定地與謝神父見面接受輔導。也因此與謝神父有較多的認識。他還是一如往常，並不多話，總是靜靜地在一旁聽我說，不管是靈修上的、生活上的，我統統都傾吐於他。我知他是可信賴的，亦會幫我們祈禱，而他所給我的話就是「有神枯時，多多的祈禱;有神慰時，多多的感謝」。我也才知道，神枯是怎樣的感覺，神慰是怎樣的感覺。天主也在我身上做了很多工。如今謝神父走了，我的神操功課未做完，又將它停滞在那兒了。心中的難過，是無法將之述說出來的。只有問蒼天，為何天主要將他這麼早地接走而不是讓他的身體健康好轉起來呢?我們失去了一位這麽有聖德的神父，天主儞的旨意是為何呀?真的是“無語問蒼天”!!

在此有一小小的回憶，就是有一次輿謝神父個別談話中，提到當時耶穌山園祈禱、被審判及揹負十字架走苦路，到底是怎樣的情形，與電影“耶穌的苦難”中所描述的是不是一樣?離開後，我便將此事忘了，等到下一次見面時，沒想到謝神父很認真地帶了一本書。翻到他已先找好的一幅圖，很清楚地為我解說，使我對整個耶穌的最後行徑，有一清楚的概念。我心想，自己真是慚愧，並沒有把自己說的話當一回事，而神父卻聽進去了，並很認真地為我找出資料來告訴我。

失去了謝神父，才知他對我們的重要。是我們需要他，而天主卻早早地接他回歸天鄉。我相信謝神父已歡樂地與主在一起。我亦想像著我們的每一台彌撒中都有他與潘神父及我們一同共祭。謝神父，謝謝你為我們所做的一切，任何言語都無法表達我對你的敬意於萬一。只求您在天上，也為我們所有的人轉禱，求天主賜予每個人恩寵，效法您走成聖的路，阿們! 

Bp20永遠的愛

沈麗貞

五月二十一日那天驟然聽到謝神父逝世的惡耗，我簡直無法相信那是事實，直覺得一定有人搞錯了。是誰開了這麼大的一個玩笑?連續打了幾通電話求證....只覺得一顆心往下沈，往下沈...。為什麼會是這樣呢?十九日那天才與竹平通過電話，知道五月二十三日，謝神父要為領堅振的孩子們辦告解。為什麼他走得如此匆匆，連句道別的話也沒有，整整有好幾天的時間，我無法分辨自己震驚、悲傷、懷疑、失望的情緒。

在他逝世之前的那個主日(五月十六日)，我本想請問他一些有關堅振的事情，但見他一個人在教室裡，“默默地”耐心地等待前來上課的大孩子們，我不忍心打擾他。没想到那竟是最後一次見他，我後悔自己為什麼不大大方方的上前向他問好，向他請教問題，如今一切都太遲了。

這次的堅振課程是謝神父親自為孩子們安排的，女兒已連續上了一個多月的課了，二十二日那天我跟她說:「謝神父已離開我們了，這個主日不能再為你們上課了。」她說:「這是不可能的，上個星期天神父還好好的，沒有咳嗽，沒有感冒啊!」孩子啊!單純如妳，怎知人世間的悲苦，我們又怎能理解謝神父的內心世界呢?

幾年前的一次團體聚餐裡，有幸與謝神父同座一席，驚訝於他那一口字正腔圓的國語，他說是在台灣新竹學的。以前學生時代，也常去新竹，於是與神父聊了些有關新竹的事情。神父講話的語調，不急不缓，是位很有耐心，很有修養的人。他總是用那雙溫柔、慈愛的眼神默默的望著你，靜靜的聽你把話講完，每次彌撒結束後，他總是站在教堂門口，禮貌的、愉快的與每位教友打招呼、道再見。

小兒子從七歲開始上CCD課程，已將近三年了，記得開始上課時，神父跟我說，他親自為小朋友買講義夾，選教材，我猶記得三年前小兒子對那本謝神父送的精装本聖經故事愛不釋手。二零零一年的聖誕節時，他特別給每位家長寫了一封長長的信，信末簽了他的中文名宇。這封信我一直保存著。謝神父是這麼的細心，這麼週到的關心著他身邊所有的人，這次大孩子堅振課程的講義，也都是神父親自打宇、親自編輯的，謝神父您為孩子們的信仰教育付出了這麼多的心血，您叫我們這些做父母的何以回報呢?

每次先生從合灣出差回來，都會帶一些台灣的名產，事實上，我並不知道謝神父喜歡吃些什麼?每次他都禮貌的收下。有一年聖誕節為他準備的聖誕禮物，遲遲不能送出，原來他回洛杉磯陪父親過節去了。我與神父開玩笑說:「還好這不是吃的東西，要不然會過期的。」那次，他笑得跟孩子一樣的天真，在他溫文儒雅的外表下，更有一顆赤子之心。

五月二十八日那天與星潔一行人參加謝神父的追思彌撒，那是我第一次去謝神父居住的退休院，汽車沿著山腰蜿蜒而行，眼前所見盡是如詩如畫的景象，那矇矓含笑的遠山，那片片嫣紅，那點點翠綠，在這樣的雲霧中，我已全然忘了自己身在何處了。感謝天主，謝神父生前何其有幸，居住在如此的世外桃源裡，難怪他看似不食人間煙火。

整個彌撒過程肅穆莊嚴，看到那麼多位神父在為謝神父主持彌撒，不禁又想起謝神父生前做彌撒的景象。那高挑飄逸的身影，那专注、溫和的眼神，還有他那獨特的拉丁文詩歌......不聽話的淚水又潸然而下.......。他那年邁的父親怎禁得起喪子之痛?那是種連根拔起的痛，是種永遠失落的痛楚，但他卻抑制住心中的傷痛，把一切交託給天主，這是多麼無私的大愛啊!彌撒後，我們参觀了謝神父生前的事蹟和照片，自謙姐的一句「想不到謝神父年輕時也是位帥哥」，暫時沖淡了些哀傷的氣氛，回程中我一直在想著如果謝神父沒有立志當神父，如果他只跟我們一樣當個普通人，那又會是怎樣的一個人生? 

Bp21想念謝神父

吴建時

記得第一次見到謝神父時，從他的外貌我以為他是一個年紀相當大的神父，所以對他總是保持著對長輩，又是神父的距離。直到後來知道他比我還年輕時，才開始與他有私下的交往，把關係拉近。不知道為什麼，我突然在神父發生意外前二、三個月左右，我主動的與他接近，開始與他像朋友一樣的交談。我問神父有沒有看過電影“Passion of Christ”，又問了他有是否看過一個有關聖人Cupertino的老電影“Reluctant Saint”。我當時想起了這個電影，雖然主要的原因是這是一個很有趣的真人真實的故事，但是也因為電影中的主角有一個高大個子，又是個心地純樸的人。謝神父就像他一樣，我還說了等到別人還我這個電影時，我要借給神父看，雖然神父沒有看到這個電影，我想神父現在已在天堂與這位聖人相聚了。

與神父相處，有幾件事我記得很清楚:有一次我被安排到兒童道理班去幫神父。我在門外待了一些時間，心想一個大人(神父)對著一些小孩子應當沒問題吧。稍後進去，看見有些孩子在談話，有的在摺紙，有的在畫畫或做別的，而神父卻穩如泰山專心在講道理，不知道神父是不知道或者不介意，我想是神父純真的心不會想到孩子在作怪吧。

我是華人教會聖母軍與上級的聯絡員，每一次我需要謝神父在英文上的幫助，他從不拒絕我需要的任何幫助，是個樂於助人的神父。

有一次神父與我們共三人在餐館，叫菜時他沒有任何意見，菜來後吃飯時才知道他不吃辣的，他任我們點我們喜歡的。他真是一倜對任何事情默默接受的神父。

另一次是在青少年慕道班，那天只有一個學生來，謝神父與我共三人，他倆對坐著，我在旁邊，下面是一段對話:

神父:「上週發的講義，你看了没有?」學生:「没有。」

神父:「噢!，太忙了?」學生:「是，有Project要做。」

神父沒有任何的不高興，他隨即以差不多三十多分鐘的時間很有秩序的把舊約從頭到尾解說了一遍。他講得實在是太精彩了，我聽得非常入神，沒想到他能把舊約史在很短的時間講得如此簡單又清楚。在神父走後的那段時間，我每早醒後的第一件事就是想到他，因為神父的離開實在是太突然了，我非常的懊惱、嘆息和自責。天主把這位神父給了我及這個團體，而至少我個人卻未能像兄弟一樣的關懷及照顧他，尤其是在Los Gatos修院為神父舉辦追思儀式那天看到了他以前在念書時的一些相片，才知道他曾是越野賽跑的運動員。他喜歡音樂和電影，這也都是我也喜歡的事情，我與他能談的事還真多呢!記得一位姐妹說過，神父是常在我們身邊的人，他生時我們不覺得他的存在有什麼特別，他走後我們才發現他的重要。

神父僅對我們團體就做了很多事情:彌撒、神操課、兩個聖母軍團及教理促進會的教導神師、CCD主日學的老師、另外他也在舊金山參與東正教會。在Los Gatos追思儀式那天看到一位從Richmond來的朋友，オ知道謝神父在Berkeley帶查經班。我相信他還做了一些其它我們不知道的事情。

神父一生辛勞為教會工作，大家對他有無限的懷念，我想對神父最好的紀念就是追隨他特有的純樸、沉默、溫和及愛人助人的精神。 

Bp22谢神父

周湘曉

謝神父的沈靜讓我

感受到天主的愛。

在査經聚會裏，

他微笑，他聆聽，

他平心靜氣地分享他

對天主的了解，

與謝神父相處的時光，

我得到那與世無爭的平安。

懷念你，謝神父!

Bp22懷念謝神父

單曉雯

八歲的女兒今天對我說:“I miss Fr. Chevedden so much!”想起昨天的査經聚會，在六、七月署假後第一次再聚。我們大人們再度談起謝神父、懷念著他，卻忽略了孩子們的感受。他們在經歷了臺灣的假期、暑期的各項活動後，再回到查經班，難道也有少了一位分享對象的失落感?我問她:“發生了什麼事嗎?什麼讓妳miss Fr.Chevedden?”她沉默著，我知道她在整理內心的情感，試著將它們用言語表達出來。我靜静地等著，就像神父一貫的聆聽態度:他總是專心注視、耐心仔細地聽完你想要講的話。終於她開口了，紅著眼睛說:"I feel there's an empty spot."我很清楚昨晚的查經，大家圍滿了餐桌，並沒有空位;只是想到神父將從此缺席而感到悵然若失。“神父在天上保佑我們，我們要好好的生活，有一天，就到天主那兒去找他。“There won't be an empty spot!”小女兒很認真地點頭允諾。

謝神父除了陪同我們查經外，最關心我們的下一代。特別對幼兒非得等到七歲才能領聖體而惋惜，可憐小小孩子們在彌撒聖祭中被拒絕與耶穌聖體結合的機會。神父重視人的靈性更甚於人的理性!此外，他每一進門，總要先找孩子們寒暄一番。有一回，孩子們用積木蓋了個馬場，玩她們的模型馬兒們。神父也興味盎然地加入。我在旁看到，覺得神父真有赤子之心，又如此珍視孩子們。他的愛，就在這點點滴滴的關懷與陪伴中，澆灌入孩子們的心中。

親愛的謝神父，我們多麼榮幸有您在我們中間!您的臨在、帶給我們天主的平安和愛。為此，我們銘謝於心!我們永遠懷念您!

Bp23回憶谢祌父

楊麗玲

因著天主的恩寵，使我能有這個機緣在南區查經班裏認識了謝為霖神父。在我的印象中神父很安靜平和，待人親切有禮，而且多才多藝。尤其是他在中文的聽、說、讀、寫上都造詣深厚，有時他興緻來了還可以用閩南語和你攀談幾句。

謝神父是一位你既可以和他嚴肅的請教在聖經及信仰方面的問題，又能和他無傷大雅的開玩笑及話家常的神長。每當和我們一起查經時，他總是很起勁的大聲和我們一塊兒唱聖歌。更時常和我們一起分享他近日在有關靈修信仰方面書籍的研究心得。有很多時候我們在一起時，因為太投入彼此的討論話題，一時間竟忽略了神父的存在;他總能在一旁耐心地聆聽，並適時的從旁給予我們指導。每當我們有了疑難不解之處，他更是傾囊相授並提供多方面的佐證資料。

除了在這些較為嚴肅的宗教學識上的涵養外，謝神父還有一個很有趣的個人特點;就是當他不知該如何來應對我們給他的玩笑時就「嘿、嘿」的笑著。他那種既會意又不置可否的笑聲，至今我仍記憶猶新。

記得他最後一次到南區來參與我們的查經是在我的家中。那天謝神父特別早到，當時我兒子正好練完了他的每日鋼琴練習曲，或許是興趣使然，神父便在客廳中彈起鋼琴來，又邀我兒子也彈一首他當時正在練習的曲子“Venetianisches Gondelled”，神父很喜歡這首「威尼斯人船歌」。那一天查經結束，臨走前還和我說他妤希望有機會能再到我家來彈鋼琴。我當時還覺得神父像小孩一般可愛，這有什麼難的?只要他有空。我歡迎他能常來。怎奈一語成籤，他的遽然離世對我個人而言是一件相當沈痛與惋惜的事。

那天在謝神父的殯葬彌撒後回到家中，看到兒子一臉淒然的獨坐在他的鋼琴前，一時间我竟不知該如何來撫慰一個十歲孩子的心靈。突然間兒子對我說他好希望謝神父能再聽到他彈的「威尼斯人船歌」。刹那問，我像福至心靈一般，便建議他先向天主祈禱。再將所彈奏的曲子寄到天主那兒，已在天堂上的謝神父收到了這首曲子一定會覺得很安慰。

望著兒子一臉釋然的表情，在「威尼斯人船歌」的旋律中，我彷彿見到了謝神父在夕陽餘暉裏，撐著船篙和我們微笑著揮手道別。小船隨著跳動的音符漸行漸遠，逐漸的消逝在地平線的另一端。 

Bp24良善心謙

林鳳珍

謝為霖神父給人的印象總是溫文有禮，沈默寡言。他指導我們南區查經時，多半時間都是我們這些教友們口沫橫飛，分享生活上與主相遇的經驗，或是發表個人對聖經的解說。謝神父有時坐在一旁開目養神。我們以為他太累了，但是每當我們的言論有所偏差時，他立刻張開眼睛，平心靜氣的引經據典，解釋重點。他就像一本取之不盡的神學書，任何問題，他都有完美的答案。讓我們嘆為觀止。

當電影『耶穌傳』轟轟烈烈的演出時，教友們莫不仔細研究討論電影的情節及當時背景。在公司裹，我的一位同事，他是墨裔天主教友，他問我:「米開蘭基羅畫的『耶穌最後晚餐』，那個留長髮、長得像女人般漂亮，坐在耶穌旁的門徒是誰?」我眨眨眼告訴他，我們有個謝神父，他一定有答案。果真不錯，謝神父立刻告訴我，這個門徒就是若望(John)。若望是門徒裏最年輕的一位，在『耶穌傳』電影裹，那個年輕人一路陪伴著聖母瑪利亞的就是他。

去年，當謝神父得我婆婆病重在舊金山醫院時，他立刻開車去醫院，為我婆婆祈禱，並給她臨終傅油。讓我們感動至極。謝神父總是把他自己完全奉獻給教會。他對我們的付出，多於我們給他的。在謝神父遽逝後，我們一直後悔，没有多關心神父的起居，而讓他孤獨的背著他的十宇架。

感謝天主，謝神父的良善心謙，讓我們時時感受到耶穌的愛與臨在。同時也藉著他的榜樣，潛移默化了我們日常的言行。 

Bp24天使在人間

陳國賢

身為傳統的天主教友，一般對於學習聖經，總認為是一種事業工作。當初在第八街教堂，我們成立了查經班，開啟了我研讀聖經的興趣。記得有一次，馬愛德神父帶領著我們去Los Gatos耶穌會的初學院做避靜。當我看到那書架上堆滿著宗教書籍時，我才感覺到，研究聖經不是只靠個人的冥想。十五年後，我才深刻地體會到，為什麼聖經學是一門科學。

在研習聖經的過程當中，謝為霖神父來到南區的查經班。他那木訥的外表與他那浩瀚聖經學背景，極不協調。非常多的次數裏，我問到很微小的聖經學知識，謝神父都能夠在瞬間之內，直接了當的回答我的問題。他的表情仍舊那麼謙虛平淡，沒有一點誇大炫耀。每一次都讓我五體投地的欣賞他的表情。更有甚至於，在下次見面之時，他就遞給我一、两本參考書籍。那種感動過程，讓我進一步瞭解，或許人神之間的交談也會是如此。

他的過世，讓我們震驚不已。或許他的過世背後，有我們不能了解的意義。像他這樣的一個典範，我想還有成千上萬的神父們，承擔著耶穌基督的使命，散佈在每個堂口。但願我們都能以「天使在人間」的心情，去看待這些神師們。

Bp25追憶謝神父

黃靜芳

印象中，謝神父高大的個子，留著個大鬍子。一見面先街著人一個微笑，才慢條斯理的，從濃密的鬍渣叢裹，傳出他親切的招呼。

往常都是在聖堂祭台前遠遠的看他，第一次面對面照面，是在搬到南區後，在南區的教友家中。謝神父把我當成“新人”，故而以地主或主人似的特別詢問及關切。而第二次再見到，他立即以中文唤出我的名宇，而我仍愣在一旁，想該以何種稱呼較恰當...。

不愠不火是他常給我的感覺，多半在教友們的口舌戰中，他不會立即加入，有時大夥以為他在打盹，可是他聽得很仔細，待教友們稍息時，他才悠悠的說出他的看法及給予中肯的指點。

溫文如雅是對他的另一個形容，可是在他的追悼會上，從他兄弟口中，聽到他調皮、淘氣的另一面，那是他可愛及感性的一面。

一點一滴了解他的為人，在查經或聚餐餐會上。他不愛說教，每每有疑問詢問他，他回答時總是有禮而肯定，讓旁人體會他對天主的心，這使我想到第一條誠命。而他對人的尊重及幫助，是如何的以身作則，教導我們第二條誠命!

恩及過往，終究還是二字--惋惜。

Bp25东方教會

程巾哲

二零零一年六月十八日羅高雄、白黛華、馬福意和我一起去Los Altos耶穌會會院，拜訪謝為霖神父。謝神父的中文說得很妤，言談之間始知，神父在台灣住了二十幾年，剛好與我在美國待的時間一樣久，不過他的中文比我的英文好太多了。我真不敢相信自己第一次見到神父就向他辦了“告解”(大概快十年沒有辦告解了)。也許是神父的慈愛，讓我安心的與天主做修合聖事。

我們邀請謝神父到我們團體做专題演講“東方教會的歷史”。他準備了很豐富的教材，還有地圖前來，不厭其煩的解說，使我們了解“東方教會”的地理位置和他們的影響。說到東方教會我只想到佛教、道教，而不知也有信“天主”的教會，可見要學的實在太多了。我曾參加過兩年的Scripture Study，原本英文就不好，聽得總是一知半解，但聽了神父的兩次講課，就有“開竅〞的感覺。謝神父很樂意開車從Los Altos來San Mateo，給我們講兩小時道理，再驅車去Fremont為青年團契講道，這種不辭辛勞的愛心深深地感動我們。感謝天主賜給我們這麼一位好神父，真希望謝神父能多來幾次。

p10 Fr. Chevedden’s memorial mass sermon

Fr. Wang Chuhua

Dear sisters and brothers:

Tonight, after a stressful day of work, you came all the way to attend the memorial mass of our beloved Fr. Chevedden. I am very grateful from my heart.  Fr. Chevedden and I have lived in the same building for several years, and I may have a deeper understanding of him than the other people. I think Fr. Chevedden is the most gentle and kind person among the American clergy I have ever come into contact with. I am very sad and sorry for the sudden death of Fr. Chevedden. The ancestors of Fr. Chevedden are Polish Catholics in northern Europe. I think everyone knows that our Pope, who is loved and respected by Catholics all over the world, is also a Polish. Fr. Chevedden’s father was a U.S. Air Force mechanical engineer. During World War II, he worked hard at the U.S. Air Force base to immediately repair Air Force aircrafts that were damaged in the U.S. battle so that they could fly again.  He made outstanding contributions to victory of the the Second World War.  After retirement, his father settled in Los Angeles. Fr. Chevedden is the elder brother of a pair of twin brothers. His younger brother is still a single man and takes care of his ninety-four-year-old father very filially.

Our beloved Fr. Chevedden has determined to become a Jesuit since he was young. He entered the Jesuits in the United States. After receiving training in novice studies, literature and philosophy, he overcame various difficulties. When he went to Taiwan, he first studied Chinese. After studying theology, he devoted himself to doing pastoral work for the Catholics in Taiwan. Not long after he was promoted to priest, he volunteered to go to a newly opened small church in southern Taiwan and became the parish priest himself alone. In addition to the daily Mass, the sacraments of reconciliation and anointing, and pastoral work, he also opened a kindergarten is in the afternoons.  Fr. Chevedden is very poor and cooked his own meals.  We all know that the work of kindergarten is a very busy and thankless job.  Finally, Fr. Chevedden was mentally confused and unable to act independently duo to overloaded work. So he was transferred back to the United States by his superiors to recuperate.  He was invited by his family to his old father's house for treatment. After recuperating in Los Angeles for a year, he was transferred to our Bay Area to serve the Chinese believers. Our Fr. Chevedden is a loyal and honest man. He sincerely serves the Lord’s followers selflessly and is welcomed by the Lord’s followers everywhere.

Fr. Chevedden’s main job is to drive to Fremont to serve the Chinese church. On Sunday afternoons, he gave catechism to the children of Fremont parishioners, and at four o'clock in the afternoon he and the children’s parents participated in the holy part of the Mandarin Mass. In addition to Sundays, Fr. Chevedden also went to Fremont on Monday evenings to preside over the weekly meetings of the St. Mary’s Youth Army and the St. Mary’s Adult Army. In addition to Sundays, Fr. Chevedden also hosted Bible reading and sharing sessions for our Southern District parishioners twice a month. In addition, he even took the time to go to Berkeley to participate in Bible readings and sharings. Fr. Chevedden further more diligently went to host the Eastern Catholic Sunday Mass. Fr. Chevedden is fiercely loyal and would never refuse the pastoral work that the faithful followers asked him to do. As a result, he was overworked, so the doctor prescribed medication to calm his nerves and he took the medicine every day to keep his mind calm. Unexpectedly, on the afternoon of May 19, Fr. Chevedden was appointed by the San Jose Court to serve as a court jury member. Since Fr. Chevedden has always been serious, responsible and devoted to his work, he was dizzy and disoriented after hours until the end of the court proceedings that afternoon. Fr. Chevedden could not find his own car in the four-story parking lot.  I guess he was looking for an exit. Because he was dazzled, he mistakenly thought the window of the high-rise building was the exit on the first floor, so he rushed out in a hurry. He fell directly from the high-rise building to the concrete ground below and passed away. This is most likely because the merciful God wanted to take Fr. Chevedden, whose work exceeds human limits, back to heaven to enjoy blessings.

So it can be seen that Fr. Chevedden did not commit suicide by jumping off the building at all.  Everyone knows that most of the people who commit suicide are unruly in their life behaviors; they end their lives by suicide out of depravity and despair, and they are cowards of their own sin/crimes. But our beloved Fr. Chevedden was a good priest who dedicated his life to our Lord.

p11 Fr. Chevedden: Good Shepherd of Christ

Wan Zhidi

Fr. Chevedden from Los Angeles, Southern California, is the younger brother of a twin brothers. In 1966, he entered a Jesuit junior college in the United States. He was deeply influenced by a priest and longed to preach in foreign countries. When he finished studying philosophy, he went to Taiwan Jesuit Theological Seminary to study. With incomparable perseverance, he completed the theology courses in Chinese and was ordained a priest in Taiwan on July 31, 1978. Fr. Chevedden successively served as the dormitory master of the Baida dormitory of the Holy Heart Church in Tainan and the priest of the parish in Liugui, Kaohsiung. He did theological research at Fu Jen Catholic University, worked as a spiritual counselor in Jingshan, and specialized in spiritual counseling after returning to the United States. He also conducted in-depth research on the history and liturgy of the Byzantine Church.

Fr. Chevedden is what we Chinese regard a humble gentleman. He has a scholarly temperament and played piano well. When he played Alley Cat, he was like a piano player in a salon, giving people a relaxed and happy feeling. But there are also times when he didn’t change his true nature, such as when driving in the greater Los Angeles area. If you don’t know how to pray, ask him to give you a ride, and you will definitely know how to pray.

Fr. Chevedden is a scholar and a good shepherd. He has a pure heart that simply loves the Lord. Needless to say, we all feel that the good shepherd loved his flock.  We thank God for giving us such a good priest.

p12 Limited life, endless love

Lai Zhaoyu

On the morning of the funeral mass for Fr. Chevedden, the sky was gray and drizzling, and there was an inexplicable heavy rain the night before. I was woken up by the sound of rain at night and couldn't fall asleep any more. Before entering the church, looking at the miserable wind and bitter rain outside, I felt endless sadness in my heart. Knowing that today I would say a few words in memory of Fr. Chevedden during Mass, I really didn’t know if I would be choked up, unable to speak, or even burst into tears.

I met Fr. Chevedden by chance five years ago when I moved to the Southern District and started attending the Southern District Bible study class. I remember that when we first met, Fr. Chevedden noticed that we were new faces and greeted me and the children cordially. During the chat, I learned that he had served as a missionary in Taiwan for more than 20 years and had learned Chinese fluently. In the following Bible study meetings, Fr. Chevedden always attended on time. No matter how many people participated that night or how slow the Bible study progressed, he always patiently accompanied us. There were no harsh instructions from his mouth, let alone personal judgment. He always paid silently and took care of our spiritual needs.

I remember that in one summer, the priest took over a short-term ministry in Taiwan. Although he could not participate in our Bible study and sharing, he was still thinking of us all the time. He sent us many Chinese Bible exegesis books from Taiwan, hoping to be helpful to our Bible study. Fr. Chevedden really had good intentions for our Bible study class. At the end of 2003, Fr. Chevedden told me that he might no longer be able to attend our meetings because the needs of the Fremont community had increased. At first glance, I was very disappointed, but at the same time I understood that the Fremont community needed him more. I just told him that we would miss him very much and hoped that he would come back to see us when he was free. Unexpectedly, two days later, Fr. Chevedden sent me an e-mail, telling me that he would try his best to make time to come to our gathering once a month. Reading his e-mail, I was much moved. I know that over the years, Fr. Chevedden and Southern District had established a deep relationship, and he really couldn't bear to leave us.

When the news of Fr. Chevedden’s sudden death came, I was discussing with friends in the Southern District how to celebrate his birthday. Unexpectedly, the birthday celebration scheduled for Friday night turned into a memorial and prayer meeting. I know that so many tears and reluctance, longing and gratitude that night turned into wisps of smoke along with our prayers and were given to Fr. Chevedden in heaven. When I saw Fr. Chevedden 's coffin being moved out of the church, my tears burst into tears again. Touching his coffin and saying his final goodbyes. Behind the pain of separation, I deeply experienced that although our reunion with Fr. Chevedden in this world was short and limited, he entered each of our families and the deepest hearts of each of us and changed us. Because of him, we experience God’s infinite love.

p12 Thank you, Fr. Chevedden

Yu Liqing

Every time I think of Fr. Chevedden, I think of his voice first. He spoke slowly and slowly, probably like us speaking English, we must first convert Chinese and English in our minds. Because of slowness it seems gentle but it does not make people feel obtuse. The most valuable thing I remember about him is his singing voice: the voice he sang during every Mass was really like an angel. He was so respectful and respectful at every Mass. This is a state that only a humble person can achieve. Every time the teaching he wanted to say was written down in Chinese seriously, sometimes his seriousness moved us more than the teaching he wanted to say. In fact, he did not need to preach, he could infect us with a divine love through his virtue.

Every time after he finished Mass for us, I could not help but say sincerely: Thank you God, thank you, Fr. Chevedden.

Now he has left with all of our sincere gratitude, and he has truly left us. But I still often think of his angelic singing voice. Only a priest as innocent and unsophisticated as he can sing that kind of singing voice. Until his funeral mentioned in everyone's remembrances that I learned that he could also compose and loved music, and that he was a versatile priest. Unfortunately, what we saw of him on weekdays was only a small part of him. It wasn't until he left that we saw all of him clearly. Thank you, thank you, Fr. Chevedden, even your death has brought us some kind of awareness: Isn’t the God we are looking for in daily life also one-sided and partial?

The first time I met Fr. Chevedden was seven or eight years ago at a monthly Bible study meeting in Berkeley. When I saw him, he immediately reminded me of the Fr. Zhang Zhihong I used to work for at the Gengshin Cultural and Educational Institute in Taipei. The manner in which Fr. Chevedden spoke and the way he smiled are exactly the same as those of Fr. Zhang. Fr. Zhang is also an American from Ireland and has devoted his whole life to Taiwan. This coincidence makes me particularly fond of Fr. Chevedden. Later, Siling told me that Fr. Chevedden often came to Bible study meetings when he was studying for a master's degree in Berkeley in the 1980s, and he could be regarded as the oldest friend with us church members in Berkeley. After completing his master's degree, he went to Taiwan. After being ordained a priest in 1978, he stayed to serve there. He did not return from Taiwan until he fell ill in 1995. Fr. Chevedden is a nostalgic person. Although he lived in Los Altos after returning to the United States, he would definitely come to meet us on the second Saturday of every month. The last gathering was at my home. It was Mother's Day. We had a good meal and talked happily. Fr. Chevedden also gave each of us a copy of an article reviewing the book "The da Vinci Code". He said the book that interpreted Leonardo da Vinci was unfair to Catholicism and contained many distortions, which he disapproved of. None of us have read the original work, and even if we had, I believe we would not fight for justice like Fr. Chevedden. But Fr. Chevedden was rigid and serious about Catholic doctrines. Looking back, I really feel sorry for him. In comparison, our lack of seriousness brought him so much disappointment and sadness!

No one would have thought that the gathering at my house that day would be the last supper. He sat on the sofa and remained silent at our unreasonable remarks. Before leaving, he just said: "Can we come back next time?" I said, "Sure. Thanksgiving or Christmas is fine." I sent him off like this. After going out, I saw from a distance that Siling and Xiaohua sent him to the car. When he got into the car, he waved and I waved, thinking that Thanksgiving would come soon.

There is time for life and a time to die. Who doesn’t understand its truth? Perhaps what we are sad about is that we do not have the ability to predict. If we knew that Fr. Chevedden would leave us without saying goodbye, what could we do for him?

Thank you, Fr. Chevedden. We thank you for the days when you were with us, and we miss you for leaving us without saying goodbye. We hope that you can also be with our hearts in your home in heaven. Thank you, Fr. Chevedden.

p13 Victory within the Holy Spirit

Meng Qingrong

On the morning of May 20, I understood the true meaning of Christians’ victory within the Holy Spirit from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans Chapter 8 verses 1 to 11. I think the Apostle Paul often boasted in his weakness, because he most truly realized our human limitations, and in turn demonstrated the infinite mercy and goodness of God. That night, I was shocked to hear the news of Fr. Chevedden's death. I felt very sad. I thought repeatedly about what God's presence in this matter meant to me and the community.

Although I dare not boast about my weakness and limitations, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I have experienced God’s teachings and mercy towards me again and again. God made me realize that only through the Holy Spirit and self-awareness and continuous reconciliation with God can I stand in front of God again after falling in weakness.

Fr. Chevedden is very close to our community. I have known him many years ago when I was still at the Chinese Catholic Church in San Jose. I knew that he was physically weak, so I began to pray for Fr. Chevedden. I never talked about Fr. Chevedden's illness with anyone, not even my wife knew about it. I often think that God has a special arrangement, because in today's society, there are too many pressures, especially in Silicon Valley, where Chinese people find it very difficult to live. Taking myself as an example, I have experienced being laid off four times. Although the priest retired early due to illness, he lived in the Jesuit retirement residence in Los Gatos. However, he struggled to overcome his illness and continued to serve the church. I think not many in our community really understand the physical condition of the priest. Over the years, except when he went abroad or out of town, he would come to the church at least half an hour earlier for the Mass almost every Sunday, and we would participate in the Eucharist together.

Fr. Chevedden liked music and could compose music. Once, the priest showed me his works "Our Father" and "The Beatitudes" and said humbly: "See if these two songs can be used in the Mass." Later, I told the priest, I would like to suggest some modifications, but I don’t know if the priest agrees with it. Fr. Chevedden replied with a smile: "It doesn't matter!" So, I sang the part I had changed to the priest. Fr. Chevedden said: "Very good! Very good!" and corrected his work on the spot. He is such a humble priest.

In our community, in addition to St. Mary’s Army and Youth Group’s Friday night Bible study class, the spiritual exercises of the adults, the Sunday school of the teenagers, and the homilies in English for the children during the mass, Fr. Chevedden is always available, rain or shine, and be sure to be on time or participate. Seeing that the priest often drove such a long distance to help our group, I decided to subsidize the priest with a little gas money every month in the name of the group, so I asked Manling to buy a gas card. When I gave the gas card to the priest privately , the priest asked me: "Are the group's funds sufficient?" I said: "No problem. We are concerned of you being too busy." I know that the priest is a Jesuit who observes spiritual poverty, and every time he come to apply with me the expenses, they are all spent on buying books or materials for church members or young people. Once, after the mission association meeting, the priest asked me privately: "I want to donate a sum of money to your Chinese community." He said that his father gave him a sum of money and he heard us discussing at the meeting regarding the recent income and expenses, so he thought he should help us. I told the priest not to worry about the funding of our group, and we have enough money.

Fr. Chevedden is a man who pursues perfection in everything. He never fails to do what he promised to do for us. However, few people know that because of his physical health issue, he must take medicine for a long time to overcome his physical difficulties and weaknesses. Several times I saw that the priest was not in good spirits, but he was still with us. I knew that he was enduring the pain and facing his weakness with strength. Seeing the priest tilting his head and looking at me blankly, I felt very moved. I knew that he had suffered from insomnia again and was tired.

God chose Fr. Chevedden and called him to be our priest. Although the priest often had to fight against his illness physically, spiritually, he was unyielding, dedicated, loved his fellow believers, and loved the community. The typical example of loving God will surely be wrapped in the hearts of every brother and sister in the church, leaving behind a precious gift that God has prepared for our community. The Apostle Paul said: “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give you hope through his Spirit who dwells in you. The dead body is resurrected.” For the sake of love, Fr. Chevedden bravely faced his physical weakness. Although he left this world and left us, I am convinced that he has won in the Holy Spirit and will in the future, like our Lord Christ, receive resurrection and eternal life.

p14 Ｔｈｅ　Angel with Broken Wings

Xingjie

At Loyola High School, Jesus said to the young Chevedden: "Do you love me?" "You tend my sheep." He obediently entered the Society of Jesus and spent twelve years of youth preparing for formation． After becoming a priest, Jesus said to the enthusiastic priest Chevedden: "Do you love me?" "Feed my distant people." He humbly and obediently moved across the ocean to Taiwan, tried his best to learn Chinese, and started a completely different life and adapted to the culture of a strange country. In the Jesuit monastery, Jesus said to Fr. Chevedden who was recuperating: "Do you love me?" "Lead my Chinese children." The faithful answer brought him into the world of our small group.

When I first met the priest, I had the impression that he was gentle and elegant, but somewhat shy and introverted. After getting along with him later, I realized that behind his gentle and humble attitude was a deep and restrained prayer life, and rich and profound theological cultivation. As the group grew, he responded to our various needs without complaint: to be a Sunday school teacher when no one wants to do; leading the youth group was not a fun job; the formation of the Infant Legion required a priest; both the Legion of Mary and the Catechetical Promotion Association are indispensable for the guidance of the priest; the English preaching for children during the Mass, the catechumens and sermons before the baptism of young people and receiving the sacraments... profound theology, proficiency in both Chinese and English, and never say No, Fr. Chevedden is always our first choice and we take it for granted. We gradually became accustomed to being late and absent from gatherings, but even though he was so far away, he always showed up on time, waited patiently, and never complained. And in addition to such heavy work, he probably couldn’t bear to see the church members’ neglect of spiritual practice, so he offered to help everyone do Ignatius’ spiritual exercises and help us live a deeper faithful life.

This gave me the opportunity to have in-depth conversations with the priest individually. Sometimes I mentioned someone's pain and depression, and whether he knew him/her or not, he always expressed extreme concern and sympathy, and was more willing to lend a helping hand. It is often easy for us to get lost in the study of the "noun" faith of "love", but Fr. Chevedden, under his reserved and silent appearance, interprets the "verb" of "love" with his own actions without using words.

Over the years, the priest has been deeply troubled by psychological and spiritual problems. In his beautiful heart, he has silently endured battles and heavy crosses that others cannot imagine. We knew nothing about this. Compared with his efforts and sufferings, our care and cherishment seemed so insignificant. Just like an angel with broken wings, we could not feel his pain, but we enjoyed the fruits of the Holy Spirit as warm as the spring breeze, and felt the fragrance of his holiness and the light of self-sacrifice.

Fifty-six years ago, God prepared a seed of selfless sacrifice for the children of the Chinese people, who spent his whole life answering God’s call. On the same day as his birthday, the merciful Heavenly Father terminated the priest who loved the Lord, loved others, and even more respected the Blessed Mother. Tormented by illness, he returned to heaven during the Marian month, where his dear Virgin Mother and his mother in heaven welcomed him with open arms. We were left with a debt of gratitude and reluctance. We had no time to say to the priest: "I'm sorry!" While you silently suffering the pain, we indifferently enjoyed your dedication and care, always thinking that time will last forever. We are stunned and ashamed, but we have no time to love you back.

"Thank you!" for you to use all you have to feed God's people, silently and profoundly to reflect the presence of Christ, to burn with love to the last drop of wax tear in life. May you, as a grain of wheat being buried in the ground, let us in deep introspection awaken the ignorant and sluggish hearts.

"This life is over, the suffering has been endured, but I still want to love..." May your blessing in heaven produce wheat ears of love in our hearts. With the same faith and a heart of hope, Fr. Chevedden, our pastor, we say goodbye today, but tomorrow we will say “see you again!” in front of the Lord.

Written on May 27th, late at night during the farewell ceremony

p15 Yellow birds flutter and willows droop, the spring breeze sees off guests and makes people sad

-Farewell to Fr. Chevedden

Xiaohua

"Yellow birds flutter and willows droop, the spring breeze sees off guests and makes people sad,

I blame myself for saying goodbye thousands of miles away, but I recall the friendship ten years ago. "

After the joy of last Christmas, the Holy Mother led us into a period of introversion, silence, reflection, mortification, prayer, and penance. When this spiritual journey ends at the pain of the cross, the children of the kingdom of heaven still taste the extraordinary joy of Easter and the foreknowledge of the kingdom of heaven, even when wars in the world and domestic elections are unclear.

The Berkeley Bible Study Class has been deeply favored by the Lord. There was a gentle and thrifty shepherd, Fr. Chevedden, who has been with us all the way. His presence, his illness, his dedication, and his intercession have helped us to obtain blessings for us of the abundant grace, moving closer to the love of Jesus. The May Bible study was held in the new home of Liqing where the room was full of books and fragrant vegetables. After the meal, the priest took his leave first because of remote distance. Siling, Liqing and I sent the priest to the car. We admired the beautiful spring flowers in the garden and bowed to the priest on the roadside. Siling opened the door for him diligently and asked him to drive carefully along the way. This was our final farewell to him. When we first heard that the priest had passed away, my husband and I were devastated for many days. It was really hard to miss him!

Twenty-five years ago, the priest very humbly joined our Bible study class as a member when he was studying for a degree in Berkeley city. No matter how intense the thesis was, he was never absent, and prepared very carefully to feed his flock. At that time, there was a church member who was new to the church and had difficulties with language, work, finances, and marriage. The priest took time out of his poor sleep to encourage him, cheer him up, and to think of solutions. If a believer invited the priest to offer snacks and toothpaste, the priest would take the newcomer with him. During the viewing of the priest's body on Thursday and the funeral service on Friday, the newcomer, a strong Catholic who had suffered much and was now in good times, burst into tears and couldn't control himself.

Twenty-three years ago, two weeks after my son Pu was born, my husband went to study the Bible alone. In the evening, the priest came to the humble abode, blessed the house and gave it a hanging image of the patron saint. The priest sometimes sees panic-stricken new parents in the church members' families, and he would think of how his own mother held their twins. A mother's filial piety is beyond words.

I reunited with the priest again. He had returned to the United States from Taiwan due to depression. We had received permission to visit the hospital with Siling, Ruicong and Zecang every week, and then walked with the priest in the twilight streets of San Francisco, and entered restaurants to enjoy delicious dishes and family affection. Finally, we sent the priest back to the hospital and saw him again in a week.

The priest's condition gradually improved, and he was finally discharged from the hospital and returned to the monastery to rest. One day he took us to visit a Byzantine church. He explained in detail. The priest was very happy to see us admiring the rich colors of the icons, being fascinated by the biblical stories in the murals, and the strong oriental atmosphere in the church. It was such a sweet time in my memory. Later we found out that the priest would have to take medication for the rest of his life, and the side effects of taking the medication made us heartbroken. This is such a good man but with such a illness!

The priest is really a good shepherd. Despite his illness, he still came to study the Bible every month regardless of rain or shine. During offering the Mass, he must be dignified and bow down. It made people feel pious. The principles he preached were pre-written word for word in Chinese. He also quoted extensively on the Bible study content and provided it to everyone in a very short time. I have thanked him privately and publicly more than once for this. He was from the longest distance, but he was never late. I miss knowing that I will see him every time before I enter the house. Although I was grateful, I thought that the priest was recuperating and it might be good for him to come to Berkeley. As a result, while visiting the body and paying homage to the deceased, I was shocked to realize the heavy workload of the priest. Church members from the Chinese churches in San Jose and Fremont, as well as the small flock from Berkeley, filled the church. Landlord priests filled the seats with sweat. Even above the altar and in the choir building, the faithful were sitting in rows. In the brief remembrances of the various groups we heard the sisters thanking him for his punctuality and faithfulness in offering sacrifices. Different groups in the same church thanked him for his different leadership. St. Mary’s Army, Children's Doctrine Class, Youth Group, Poetry Group, in Mandarin, Cantonese and English. His goodness, kindness, generosity, keeping his promises, punctuality, and never complaining let alone criticizing, are the sweet memories shared by everyone.

It was almost late at night when I returned home after paying homage to the remains. A sleepless night. Sitting in the middle of the night, my thoughts came like water. Listening to the patter of rain, my heart really was broken.

The next day, I arrived more than an hour earlier. Sitting quietly in front of the priest's coffin, my husband and I recited the rosary canon. The loving relatives in heaven felt that the priest's efforts were enough and took him into their arms. I was so moved and I believed it so much.

Soon, the door opened and two slender beauties came in. They prayed silently in front of the coffin, bowed, and finally placed a long-branched rose on the top of the coffin. The two walked to the piano and started practicing the music according to the score. Soon Fremont's choir arrived. I was very happy to be invited to join in and present poems to the priest who is a profound composer of music, especially two songs composed and written by himself. Father Dean thanked everyone while checking the liturgy with Siqin. During the Mass, he once again thanked these choirs who were willing to face traffic jams and put down their work. In addition to the large number of churchgoers who came, the San Jose community also arranged a memorial service. Together with the wreaths presented by various groups in Fremont China Parish, they told me about my priest friend’s work, his efforts, his importance, his holiness, the respect and love he received.

The single rose was taken away when the coffin was covered with the flag, and then put back after the flag-draping ceremony. It accompanied the priest through the corridor after the ceremony and disappeared from sight. I am grateful to this kind-hearted woman because she has shown her deep love and reluctance for all of us. Heaven is not far away, and it will accompany the priest throughout his journey.

p16 The eternity of a moment

Feng Chunping

I have been in the United States for nearly ten years, and on an evening with lingering light, I visited Los Gatos for the first time. I remember you as a tall person with a slight smile, gentle and elegant, not easily angry. Although I was not familiar with you but felt cherished. You read the Rosary canon. When I first arrived at this peaceful and elegant small town, I was so moved that I felt like crying.

The next morning, I woke up early because I was afraid of being stuck in traffic and would not be able to catch up with your memorial mass. Unexpectedly, at 8:30, I arrived in this small town with a bit of mist and a bit of coolness. I spent an hour admiring it greedily on the street, and was deeply attracted by this classical, solemn, and modern beauty. I have a vague and unspecific feeling in my heart that this clear beauty was fragile and could make people sigh at any time. It is so beautiful that it makes people feel unspeakably heavy. Is it because of the farewell of a priest who is deeply loved by everyone?   Or because the tranquility of drizzle falls intermittently in the early morning? Why is there such a breathtaking and difficult-to-leave beauty?

Returning to the venue, I carefully browsed through every detail of your life. I just wanted to get to know you again from the photos. I treasured you in a corner of my memory. I saw you carefully composing the "Creed" and "Our Lord's Prayer" stroke by stroke. I remember the first time I went to Berkeley to read the Bible, I sat next to you and listened to your skillful recitation of Bible passages. I was very curious about you. Why can't you hesitate, stutter, or read wrongly? I thought your Bible must have pinyin or symbols. It turned out that I was wrong. Your thorough knowledge of Chinese really shocked me and made me feel ashamed.

I spoke to you again in August 2002. I went to the Mass at St. Joseph Church. I would like to invite you to attend the International Language Rosary prayer in October at St. Isidore Church in Danville and pray in Chinese reciting the Our Father and St. Mary.  You said you wanted to go back and check the schedule. The next day, I heard your warm message on the phone: "Joanna, I can go to Danville to attend the International Rosary Prayer." And you finished it in a perfect manner. You can't bear to reject a tiny nameless lamb like me, let alone the other sheep group that you cared for and loved so much.

You have walked your way exhausted, and the flock waiting for you to lead cannot keep you, and the soul-stirring little town cannot keep you, then please rest in the loving arms of God, our beloved Fr. Chevedden!

p17 In memory of Fr. Chevedden who looked forward to Jesus all his life

Chen Shuru

Fr. Chevedden, a loyal servant of God, passed away from this world on May 19. He ran into the loving arms of God in the light of the Lord and walked with the Lord because he deserved to enjoy eternal joy and peace in his home in heaven. .

On the night of May 21, the Jesuit seminary held a family memorial prayer service for Fr. Chevedden, and I met Fr. Chevedden for the last time in the church. He was lying in the coffin, smiling in peace. I told him softly: "You are the best, the wonderful priest. We love you and miss you." Looking at your face, sacred music flows. All over the church, you are so blessed. I knelt on my knees in front of the seat closest to you, prayed for the Mother of Jesus to lead our beloved Fr. Chevedden to the glorious and holy kingdom of God. Tears kept coming, not tears of sadness, but tears of thanksgiving in the Holy Spirit.

Bible study classes from San Jose and Fremont, the Youth Legion of St. Mary, the Adult Legion of St. Mary, the St. Ignatius Spiritual Exercises Group, nuns from foreign churches, and Jesuit fathers and priests filled the church, as if as one family. We accompany him, love him, and express in our prayers the unexpressed love and infinite gratitude in our hearts for him. Looking back at the people here, some are highly respected priests; some are people with high-tech doctorates; some are people with a lot of wealth; some are students who are just beginning to look up to the world...; everyone has come a long way. When I came to this mountain, I wanted to see Fr. Chevedden and greet him. Not because he has worldly fame and wealth, not because he has a high status or is a prominent person, nor because he is humorous and popular. We miss his loving eyes and he always listened carefully to your words; we miss him carefully and patiently searching for the holy words of the Bible to help you with the problems in your life, because he knows that only the words of Jesus can save you.  We miss you.  You are slow to get angry, no matter our negligence, laziness and broken promises, you always used your endless love to turn into the music of prayer and forgive everything. We miss you, Jesus-like mercy and humility.  When we offer the sacrament of confession to you, your gentle eyes awaken repentance deep in our hearts.  Your humility and kindness, and the atonement you give us are always gentle. You called softly: God loves you like a precious treasure, don’t make any more mistakes.

We honor you when you preside over the Holy Mass, you sing the sacrificial text of love for the Lord, which is generous and loud, calling out the deep love in our hearts and responding to the call of God.  We are deeply moved by Fr. Chevedden’s obedience to God and praise with all his heart and soul. I recall that when you were tutoring the St. Ignatius spiritual exercise group, during the fifteen-minute break or the break after dinner, you would always keep your hands on the book, hold the spiritual book or Bible in your hands, pacing and concentrating, and be with God every second, together resting in the Holy Spirit. Fr. Chevedden loved life and always told us that we don’t need to prepare meat for dinner, just a little fish, vegetables and tofu. In him, we clearly know that the life of a priest has the fruit of the Holy Spirit of temperance.

Today I wrote in memory of Fr. Chevedden with tears streaming down my face many times. I am grateful for the pain and hard work he endured when he was physically and mentally weak in this world. I am even more grateful for his brave love for God’s people when he was alive in a strange environment (Taiwan) arduously struggling to preach the gospel of God working day and night. He treated everyone he knew with holiness and justice, as a father treats his children, giving, exhorting, encouraging, advising, so that we might become like God who called him into his kingdom and glory.

May Fr. Chevedden continue to pray for us in the Lord's love, so that in the Holy Spirit, our Chinese community can learn eternal hope and always believe in repaying love with love.

p18 You are not far away, but your example still exists

—In memory of Fr. Chevedden

Zhu Yang (Lord’s sheep)

Missing Fr. Chevedden turns out not only to be missing him and everything related to him, but also to remember the past period when he was in our group and in our past lives.

Fr. Chevedden is an erudite, humble and introverted priest. All the knowledge and knowledge he has accumulated and come out in life are very latent and powerful. He doesn't talk much, but he is so gentle that he brings peace and stability to people. While serving the Fremont community, I had more contact with him. I often saw God’s love living out in his heart, and saw God continued to give to people and groups in need through him.

In addition to celebrating Mass with Fr. Pan every Sunday for many years, he also taught Sunday school, the St. Mary’s Army, youth group Bible study, Catechism Promotion Association and the Personal Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Just looking at these church activities spread out on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays can be overwhelming even for a healthy person, let alone a patient who has been taking medication for many years. It is known that he also participated in adult Bible study classes and served on other days. There is not a word "no" in his life, and he put his body, mind, and soul fully on the Lord's behalf. I still remember that day I went up the mountain to his monastery to attend his memorial mass. I finished reciting the four Rosary canons of Joy, Light, Pain and Blessing in the car but still didn’t arrive. I thought about how he traveled up and down the mountain for many years, and I regretted not be considerate of his hard work. As a Jesuit, he completely imitated Jesus in devoting himself to the sheep he shepherded. He believed deeply in the loving Heavenly Father who could not bear the pain of his illness and took him back to heaven early to enjoy eternal happiness.

Two years ago in the spring, Fr. Chevedden invited us to go to San Francisco with him for Bishop Wang’s dinner. He drove quickly and steadily, and despite the heavy traffic when people get off work, we arrived at the bishop's residence on time.  I was still young so I said Fr. Chevedden drove like an eighteen-year-old young man.  Fr. Chevedden did not feel offended, and shared with us on the way back that when he was eighteen years old, he was attracted to the monastic life by a Jesuit priest who served China in his favorite school.

The personal spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius that he taught required a meeting with him, and I usually invited him to dinner after Mass on Sunday. While I was warming up the food, he would play the piano or read his book, and I learned how to turn waiting into a joy rather than becoming restless. When waiting for the children to come to Sunday school, he always held a book in his hands and waited patiently in the classroom. I still remember chatting with him about monastic life once. He told me that he was very happy that he became a priest. The monasticism gave him such a good environment to pursue knowledge and learn and shepherd the flock he loved.

On Passion Day this year, I was asked to lead a group to meditate on the Seven Last Words of Christ. I immediately sought advice from Fr. Chevedden. He copied some articles and books for my reference, and also personally participated in our activities. He was truly a living treasure house of knowledge and a good shepherd full of holiness, standing behind and never asking for credit. As I write this, I can’t help but miss the countless Sundays he and Fr. Pan celebrated together. After preaching Sunday Bible readings to the children, he quietly walked up to the altar. His humble attitude and attentive expression when accompanying the priest expressed thoroughly the feelings of a faithful and pious priest. He believed that the Lord will take care of us, and this is true!

Finally, I would like to share with our brothers and sisters in Christ the lecture notes of the last lesson on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius that Fr. Chevedden tought us:

Sometimes we feel that God does not answer our prayers. Can we understand why? The answer is at John  9: 31: “We all know that God does not listen to sinners, but to those who reverence Him and do good deeds according to His will." What does it mean to honor God and do His will? 1 John 3:22-23 teaches us: "Whatever we ask, it will be from Him. Because we keep His commandments and do those things that please Him. His commandments are that we believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another as He commanded us.”

We must have faith and charity before God will listen to our prayers. St. John juxtaposes faith with charity, for faith must be founded on charity and must grow in charity. Therefore we must love one another so that God will listen to our prayers. If we see someone misbehaving, we should take the responsibility of admonishing him or her and pray for him or her. Because all grace comes from God, we must also take action and lend a helping hand to others. Praying alone may not be effective, because God needs our actions to answer everyone’s prayers.

The teachings of this last lesson left by Fr. Chevedden are the interpretation of his life. They are also the lessons we should strive to practice and the faith we live out throughout our lives.

Dear Fr. Chevedden, you left in a hurry and there are too many things to say to you, but the guilt of not being able to sympathize with you always lingers in my heart. Your chronic illness has tortured you for decades and deprived you of everything you could enjoy in countless young and healthy lives, but it has not taken away your freedom and determination to devote yourself to the Lord. You have truly lived the life of the Lord. Not seeing each other again is not separation, let alone forgetfulness, because faith tells us that death is not the end of life, but just a change of being. We believe that we will be able to see you again in New Jerusalem in heaven in the future!

p19 Remarks in memory of Fr. Chevedden

Li Chen

Fr. Chevedden was so quiet and he didn't talk much. We didn't have much contact with him, so our relationship always ended with greetings after Mass. I also had a little of conversations with Fr. Chevedden because of the cuteness and liveliness of my little daughter Xuanxuan. He would tell me with a knowing smile what little Xuanxuan said to him.

Starting from September last year, Fr. Chevedden started a year-long St. Ignatian spiritual exercise to meet our spiritual needs. He used three books of "Spiritual Exercises in Daily Life" to help us with our spiritual exercises. He worked tirelessly and was busy and came to give us individual tutoring once a week. I was thinking at the time that I had never done anything well from beginning to end and done it well and with perseverance. This time I wanted to take this opportunity to give myself an opportunity to practice spirituality, practice perseverance and perseverance. I continued to follow the progress in the book, and met with Fr. Chevedden regularly to receive counseling. Because of this, I got to know Fr. Chevedden better. As usual, he didn't talk much and always listened to me quietly. Whether it was spiritual practice or ordinary life, I poured out everything to him. I knew that he was trustworthy and would help us pray, and the words he gave me were, "When you are in need of God, pray more; when you are comforted by God, give more thanks." I also knew what it feels like to be exhausted and what it feels like to be comforted. God has also done a lot of work in me. Now that Fr. Chevedden is gone, my spiritual work has not been completed yet and has been stagnated there again. The sadness in my heart cannot be described. We can only ask God, why did God take him away so early instead of allowing his health to improve? We have lost such a holy priest, what is God's will? I am really "speechless to ask Heaven”!!

I have a small memory here.  In a private conversation with Fr. Chevedden, I mentioned what it was like when Jesus prayed in the mountain garden, when he was judged, and carried the cross on the stage of the Cross. Was it similar to what was shown in the movie "The Passion of Jesus"? After leaving, I forgot about it. When we met next time, I didn’t expect Fr. Chevedden bringing a book seriously. He turned to a picture that he had found in advance and explained it to me very clearly, giving me a clear idea of the entire final act of Jesus. I thought to myself that I was really ashamed and did not take what I said seriously, but the priest listened to it and carefully found out information for me and explained to me.

Only after losing Fr. Chevedden did we realize how important he was to us. It was we who needed him, but God took him back to heaven early. I believe Fr. Chevedden is happily with the Lord. I also imagine him celebrating with Fr. Pan and us at every Mass we have. Thank you, Fr. Chevedden, for everything you have done for us. No words can express my respect for you. I just ask you in heaven to intercede for all of us, and ask God to grant everyone the grace to follow your example in the path of holiness, Amen!

p20 Eternal Love

Shen Lizhen

On May 21st, I heard the bad news of Fr. Chevedden's death. I simply couldn't believe it was true. I felt that someone must have made a mistake. Who played such a big joke? I made several phone calls to verify it... I just felt my heart sinking, sinking... Why is it like this? I didn't talk to ZhuPing until the 19th, and I learned that Fr. Chevedden would confess for the children who received confirmation on May 23rd. Why did he leave so quickly without even saying goodbye? For several days, I couldn't distinguish my emotions of shock, sadness, doubt, and disappointment.

On the Sunday May 16before he passed away, I wanted to ask him some questions about confirmation, but I saw him alone in the classroom, "silently" waiting patiently for the older children to come to class, and I didn't have the heart to disturb him. I didn't expect that it would be the last time I saw him. I regretted why I didn't go up to him and say hello and ask him questions. Now it's too late.

Fr. Chevedden arranged the Confirmation class for the children. My daughter has been attending the class for more than a month. On the 22nd, I told her, "Fr. Chevedden has left us. He can no longer teach you this Sunday." She said, "That's impossible. He was fine last Sunday. He didn't have a cough or a cold!" My child! How can you, who are so simple, understand the sorrows of the world? How can we understand Fr. Chevedden's inner world?

A few years ago, at a group dinner, I had the honor of sitting at the same table with Fr. Chevedden. I was amazed at his fluent Mandarin. He said he learned it in Hsinchu, Taiwan. When I was a student I went to Hsinchu often, so I talked to the priest about Hsinchu. The priest spoke in a tone that was neither hurried nor slow. He was a very patient and well-educated person. He always looked at you silently with his gentle and loving eyes, and listened to you quietly until you finish speaking. After every Mass, he always stood at the door of the church, politely and happily greeted and said goodbye to every parishioner.

My son has been taking CCD courses since he was seven years old, and it has been nearly three years. I remember when the class started, the priest told me that he personally bought the handouts and selected the teaching materials for the children. I still remember that three years ago, my son couldn't put down the hardcover Bible story that the priest gave him. At Christmas in 2001, he specially wrote a long letter to each parent, and signed his Chinese name at the end of the letter. I have kept this letter. Fr. Chevedden was so considerate and thoughtful to everyone around him. The handouts for the older children's confirmation class were all written and edited by the priest himself. Fr. Chevedden had put so much effort into the children's faith education. How can we, as parents, repay you?

Every time my husband comes back from a business trip to Taiwan, he brought some Taiwanese specialties. In fact, I didn't know what Fr. Chevedden liked to eat. He always accepted them politely. One Christmas, the Christmas gift prepared for him was delayed because he went back to Los Angeles to spend the holiday with his father. I joked with the priest, "Fortunately this is not edible, otherwise it will expire." That time, he smiled as innocently as a child. Under his gentle and elegant appearance, he had a pure heart.

On May 28, Xingjie and others and I attended the memorial mass for Fr. Chevedden. It was my first time to go to the retirement home where Fr. Chevedden lived. The car meandered along the mountainside. What I saw was a poetic and picturesque scene, the hazy and smiling distant mountains, the patches of bright red, and the dots of emerald green. In such a mist, I had completely forgotten where I was. Thank God, Fr. Chevedden was so lucky to live in such a paradise during his lifetime. No wonder he seemed to be detached  from the worldly things.

The whole mass was solemn and dignified. Seeing so many priests celebrating Mass for Fr. Chevedden reminded me of the scene when Fr. Chevedden celebrated Mass during his lifetime. His tall and graceful figure, his focused and gentle eyes, and his unique Latin poetry... My unruly tears started to flow again... How could his elderly father bear the pain of losing his son? It was a pain of being uprooted, a pain of eternal loss, but he suppressed the pain in his heart and entrusted everything to God. What a selfless love! After the mass, we visited the deeds and photos of Fr. Chevedden during his lifetime. Sister Ziqian’s words, “I didn’t expect Fr. Chevedden to be a handsome man when he was young”, temporarily diluted the atmosphere of sadness. On the way back, I kept thinking about what kind of life Fr. Chevedden would have if he had not aspired to be a priest, if he had just been an ordinary person like us?

p21 Missing Fr. Chevedden

Wu Jianshi

I remember the first time I met Fr. Chevedden, I thought he was a very old priest from his appearance, so I always kept a distance from him as an elder and a priest. It was not until I found out that he was younger than me that I started to have private interactions with him and got closer to him. I don’t know why, but about two or three months before the priest’s accident, I took the initiative to get close to him and started talking to him like a friend. I asked the priest if he had seen the movie “Passion of Christ” and asked him if he had seen an old movie about a saint Cupertino called “Reluctant Saint”. I thought of this movie at the time, although the main reason was that it was a very interesting true story, but also because the protagonist in the movie was a tall man with a simple heart like him. I also said that I would lend the movie to the priest when someone returned it to me. Although the priest has not seen the movie, I think he is now in heaven with the saint.

There are a few things I remember clearly about being with the priest: Once I was assigned to help the priest in the children's sermon class. I stayed outside for some time, thinking that it would be okay for an adult (priest) to be with some children. Later, I went in and saw some children talking, some were folding paper, some were drawing or doing other things, while the priest was as steady as a mountain and concentrating on preaching. I don't know if the priest didn't know or didn't mind. I think the priest's innocent heart would not think that the children were playing tricks.

I am the liaison between the Legion of Mary and the superiors of the Chinese Church. Every time when I needed help from Fr. Chevedden in English, he never refused any help I need. He was glad to help others.

Once, the priest and three of us were in a restaurant. He didn't have any opinions when we ordered the dishes. After the dishes came, we found out that he didn't eat spicy food when we were eating. He let us order what we liked. He is really a priest who accepts everything silently.

Another time was in the Youth Catechumenate Class. There was only one student that day. There were three of us, Fr. Chevedden and me. The two of us sat opposite each other, and I sat next to him. Here is the conversation:

Fr. Chevedden: "Have you read the handouts sent last week?" Student: "No."

Fr. Chevedden: "Oh! Too busy?" Student: "Yes, I have a project to do."

The priest was not unhappy at all. He immediately explained the Old Testament from beginning to end in an orderly manner in about 30 minutes. His explanation was really wonderful. I was very fascinated by his explanation. I didn't expect that he could explain the history of the Old Testament so simply and clearly in such a short time. During the period after the priest left, the first thing I thought of every morning after waking up was him, because the priest's departure was so sudden. I was very upset, sighed and blamed myself. God gave this priest to me and this group, but at least I personally was not able to care for him as much as a brother, especially when I saw some photos of him when he was in school during the memorial service for him at Los Gatos Seminary, and I learned that he was a cross-country runner. He liked music and movies, which are also things I like. I have so many things to talk about with him! I remember a sister said that the priest was always around us. When he was alive, we didn’t think there was anything special about his existence. Only after he left did we realize his importance. The priest did a lot for our group: Mass, spiritual exercises, two Legionaries of the Virgin Mary and the Catechism, the teacher in the CCD Sunday School, and he also participated in the Orthodox Church in San Francisco. On the day of the memorial service in Los Gatos, I saw a friend from Richmond. He knew that Fr. Chevedden was leading a Bible study class in Berkeley. I believe he also did some other things that we don’t know.

The priest worked hard for the church all his life. Everyone has infinite memories of him. I think the best way to commemorate the priest is to follow his unique simplicity, silence, gentleness and spirit of loving and helping others.

p22 Fr. Chevedden

Zhou Xiangxiao

Fr. Chevedden’s silence made me

feel God’s love.

In the Bible study,

he smiled, he listened,

he calmly shared his understanding of God,

when I was with Fr. Chevedden,

I got the peace that was free from the world.

I miss you, Fr. Chevedden!

p22 Missing Fr. Chevedden

Shan Xiaowen

My eight-year-old daughter said to me today, "I miss Fr. Chevedden so much!" I remembered yesterday's Bible study meeting, the first time we met again after the summer vacation in June and July. We adults talked about Fr. Chevedden again and missed him, but ignored the feelings of the children. After experiencing the vacation in Taiwan and various activities in the summer, they returned to the Bible study class. Did they also feel a sense of loss because there was one less person to share with? I asked her, "What happened? What made you miss Fr. Chevedden?" She was silent, and I knew she was sorting out her inner feelings and trying to express them in words. I waited quietly, just like the priest's usual listening attitude: he always paid close attention and listened patiently and carefully to what you want to say. Finally, she spoke, her eyes red, "I feel there's an empty spot." I knew very well that there was no empty seat at the Bible study last night, as everyone gathered around the table. I just felt disappointed when I thought that the priest would be absent from now on. "May the priest bless us in the heaven. We must live a good life, and one day, we will go to God to find him. There won't be an empty spot!" The little girl nodded and promised very seriously.

In addition to accompanying us in Bible study, Fr. Chevedden is most concerned about our next generation. He especially felt sorry that young children have to wait until they are seven years old to receive the Eucharist. Poor little children are denied the opportunity to unite with the Eucharist of Jesus during the Holy Mass. The priest valued people's spirituality more than their rationality! In addition, every time he entered the door, he always greeted the children first. Once, the children used building blocks to build a horse farm. The children went to the horse farm and played with their model horses. The priest also joined in with great interest. I saw from the side and felt that the priest had a pure heart and cherished the children so much. His love was poured into the hearts of the children through his care and companionship.

Dear Fr. Chevedden, we are so honored to have you among us! Your presence brings us the peace and love of God. For this, we are grateful in our hearts! We will always miss you!

p23 Reminiscence of Fr. Chevedden

Yang Liling

Thanks to God’s grace, I had the opportunity to meet Fr. Chevedden in the Southern District Bible Study Class. In my impression, the priest is very calm and peaceful, friendly and polite, and versatile. In particular, he has a deep understanding of Chinese listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Sometimes when he was in his mood, he could even chat with you in Minnan dialect.

Fr. Chevedden is a priest with whom you can seriously ask questions about the Bible and faith, and you can also joke and chat with him in a harmless way. Whenever we studied the Bible together, he always song hymns with us loudly and enthusiastically. He also often shared with us his recent research experience on books on spirituality and faith. There were many times when we were together, we were so absorbed in our discussions that we neglected the presence of the priest. He always listened patiently and gave us guidance when necessary. Whenever we had questions, he would share his knowledge and provide us with supporting information from many aspects.

In addition to his cultivation in these more serious religious knowledge, Fr. Chevedden also had a very interesting personal characteristic; when he didn't know how to respond to our jokes, he would just laugh "hey, hey". I still remember his laughter that was both knowing and noncommittal.

I remember the last time he came to the Southern District to participate in our Bible study was at my home. Fr. Chevedden arrived early that day. My son had just finished his daily piano practice. Perhaps out of interest, the priest played the piano in the living room and invited my son to play a song he was practicing at the time, "Venetianisches Gondelled". The priest liked this song very much. After the Bible study ended that day, before leaving, he told me that he hoped to come to my house to play the piano again. At that time, I thought the priest was as cute as a child. What's so difficult about this? As long as he has time, I welcome him to come often. However, his sudden death is a very sad and regrettable thing for me personally.

After Fr. Chevedden's funeral mass, I returned home and saw my son sitting alone in front of his piano with a sad face. For a moment, I didn't know how to comfort a ten-year-old child. Suddenly, my son told me that he really hoped that Fr. Chevedden could hear him play "Venetian Barcarolle" again. Instantly, I suggested that he pray to God first. Then send the song he played to God. Fr. Chevedden, who is in heaven, will definitely feel very comforted when he receives this song.

Looking at my son's relieved expression, in the melody of "Venetian Barcarolle", I seemed to see Fr. Chevedden in the sunset, holding the oar and waving goodbye to us with a smile. The boat gradually drifted away along with the beating notes and gradually disappeared on the other side of the horizon.

p24 Kind and humble

Lin Fengzhen

Fr. Chevedden always gives people the impression of being gentle, polite and taciturn. When he guided us in the Southern District Bible study, most of the time we, the church members, were talking freely, sharing our experiences of encountering the Lord in life, or expressing our personal interpretation of the Bible. Fr. Chevedden sometimes sat aside with his eyes closed to rest. We thought he was too tired, but whenever our words deviated, he immediately opened his eyes and calmly quoted scriptures to explain the key points. He was like an inexhaustible theological book. He had perfect answers to any question. It amazed us.

When the movie "The Life of Jesus" was a hit, the church members carefully studied and discussed the plot and background of the movie. At the company, one of my colleagues, who was a Mexican Catholic, asked me, "Who is the disciple with long hair and a beautiful woman looking sitting next to Jesus in Michelangelo's ‘The Last Supper’?" I blinked and told him that we had Fr. Chevedden, who must have the answer. Sure enough, Fr. Chevedden immediately told me that the disciple was John. John is the youngest of the disciples. In the movie "The Life of Jesus", the young man who accompanied the Virgin Mary all the way was him.

Last year, when Fr. Chevedden learned that my mother-in-law was seriously ill in a San Francisco hospital, he immediately drove to the hospital, prayed for my mother-in-law, and gave her the Anointing of the Dead. We were deeply moved. Fr. Chevedden always devoted himself completely to the church. He gave us more than we gave him. After Fr. Chevedden's sudden death, we have always regretted that we did not pay more attention to his daily life and let him carry his cross alone.

Thank God, Fr. Chevedden's kindness and humility let us feel the love and presence of Jesus at all times. At the same time, through his example, it subtly influenced our daily words and deeds.

p24 An Angel in the World

Chen Guoxian

As a traditional Catholic, I generally think that studying the Bible is a kind of career. When we first started a Bible study class at the Eighth Street Church, I became interested in studying the Bible. I remember one time, Fr. Ma Aide took us to the Los Gatos Jesuit novice to do a retreat. When I saw the bookshelves full of religious books, I realized that studying the Bible is not just about personal meditation. Fifteen years later, I deeply realized why biblical studies are a science.

During the process of studying the Bible, Fr. Chevedden came to the Bible study class in the Southern District. His dull appearance was very inconsistent with his vast biblical background. Many times, I asked about very minor biblical knowledge, and Fr. Chevedden was able to answer my questions directly in an instant. His expression was still so humble and calm, without any exaggeration or show-off. Every time, I admired his expression with all my heart. What's more, when we met next time, he handed me one or two reference books. That touching process made me further understand that perhaps the conversation between man and God would be like this.

His death shocked us. Perhaps there is a meaning behind his death that we cannot understand. Like him, I think there are thousands of priests who shoulder the mission of Jesus Christ and are scattered in every church. I hope we can all look at these spiritual leaders with the feeling of "angels on earth".

p25 Remembering Fr. Chevedden

Huang Jingfang

In my memory, Fr. Chevedden was tall and had a big beard. He smiled at us when we met, and then slowly, through his thick stubble, he gave us a warm greeting.

I used to see him from a distance in front of the church altar. The first time I met him face to face was after I moved to the Southern District, at a church member's home in the Southern District. Fr. Chevedden treated me as a "newcomer", so he asked and showed concern like a landlord or host. The second time I saw him, he immediately called out my name in Chinese, and I was still stunned, wondering what kind of address would be more appropriate...

He often gave me the impression of being neither angry nor angry. Most of the time, he would not immediately join in the verbal battles among the church members. Sometimes everyone thought he was dozing off, but he listened very carefully. When the church members took a break, he would slowly express his views and give pertinent advice.

Gentle and elegant is another way to describe him, but at his memorial service, I heard from his brother that he had another side, which was his lovable and emotional side.

I gradually got to know him as a person during Bible study or dinner parties. He didn't like to preach. Whenever he was asked a question, he would always answer politely and affirmatively, allowing others to understand his heart for God. This reminded me of the first commandment. And his respect and help for others, how he set an example and taught us reminded me of the second commandment!

Grace has past.  In the end, only left one word - regret.

p25 Eastern Church

Cheng Jinzhe

On June 18, 2001, Luo Gaoxiong, Bai Daihua, Ma Fuyi and I went to the Los Altos Jesuit Church to visit Fr. Chevedden. Fr. Chevedden spoke a very good Chinese. During the conversation, I learned that the priest had lived in Taiwan for more than 20 years, which was exactly the same time I had been in the United States. However, his Chinese was much better than my English. I couldn't believe that I "confessed" to the priest the first time I met him (I hadn't confessed for almost ten years). Perhaps it was the priest's kindness that allowed me to feel at ease to do the sacrament of reconciliation with God.

We invited Fr. Chevedden to give a special speech to our group on "The History of the Eastern Church". He prepared a lot of teaching materials, as well as maps, and explained tirelessly to us, so that we could understand the geographical location and influence of the "Eastern Church". Speaking of Eastern Churches, I only thought of Buddhism and Taoism, but I didn't know that there are also churches that believe in "Catholicism". It can be seen that there is so much to learn. I once participated in the Scripture Study for two years. My English was not good at first, and I always understood only a little. But after listening to the priest's two lectures, I felt like I had "opened my mind". Fr. Chevedden was happy to drive from Los Altos to San Mateo to preach to us for two hours, and then drove to Fremont to preach for the youth fellowship. This kind of love that does not refuse to work hard deeply touched us. Thank God for giving us such a good priest. I really hope that Fr. Chevedden could come more often.