《别董大》唐 高适 千里黄云白日曛,北风吹雁雪纷纷。莫愁前路无知己,天下谁人不识君。
诸诗友英文译作集锦如下,排名不分前后,序列号纯为统计之用。“---”后文字为雪葵赏析:
译作一(豌博) Masterpiece Poetry by Tang Dynasty Poet Gao Shi: "Farewell to the Elder Dong Brother" Yellowish clouds smear over thousands of miles as whitish sun turning dusky, north winds are blasting flying geese while snow fall is unrelenting and flaky. Don't worry no one can see eye to eye with you through your future endeavors, anyone would recognize you under the sky wherever you head for your journey. --- 读豌博这首译作,觉得在“信达雅”三个方面都很留意。全篇精彩!每句字数大致相同,句尾押韵为AABA,吟诵起来上口,是翻译【七绝】的 有趣尝试。好!唯 recognize you under the sky 颇为具体,即“每个人都能‘认’出你来”,而“天下谁人不“识”君”似应理解为“天底下哪个人没听说过你的名声”,“听说过名声”不见得认识其人,这样解似更合情。 译作二 和火兄再译《别董大》简洁版(边砦) The sun is shrouded with miles of cloud mass North wind blows flying geese when snows pass Don’t worry that you won’t have a bosom fan Whoever on earth doesn’t know such a nice man
--- 边砦兄这首真得和简洁!大赞!每句10个音节左右,AABB韵,句炼而达意,遣词造句通俗风趣。好! 译作三 【和楼下小火,并试翻别董大第一】(职老) when dusty clouds shining by light sun north wind blowing snow as geese wing don't worry if you are driving without gasoline everyone would know you like Jesus in the heaven
最后一句意思是:天下谁人不识君 --- 职老这首“坚守”7字原则,好!剑走偏锋,力争新颖是译者的特点。最后两行之 半路缺油无须躁,人皆知君若耶稣。 非常逗趣!不过俺替董大担忧,若路人敬他为耶稣借给他油还好,若以为他既为耶稣必能自己变出油来而绕道离去,董大可就困在半路上了。呵呵 译作四 中诗英译《别董大二首》第一(火风鼎) Bidding farewell to Dong the Elder (I) of (II) Tang Dynasty Gao Shi Translated by Huofengding
Dusk cloud of thousand miles is to shroud a dim sun its rims dyeing, North wind is blowing while wild geese are in swirling snowflakes flying. Don’t worry not having close friends on your way, near or far, Who under heaven does not know what a big name you really are! --- 火兄这首“信达”固佳,但最精彩处却在“雅”!对“白日曛”的渲染比原诗刻画得更细致,颇合卦象之“晕”。末行“最中俺意”: 用“under heaven”之抽象含义来译“天下”似更传神; 而“know what a big name you really are”更体现“识君”内涵,名满天下是也。 译作五 英译《别董大》(vrchip) 别董大 Farewell Dong the Elder
Dimming sun shines on lingering clouds The snowy wind blows the geese south No worries about a destiny without friends Surely known you are wherever on earth --- 再赞chip兄佳译!颇多传神之笔: 别董大 Farewell Dong the Elder --- 唐人喜欢用数字来称呼人,如董大,崔九啥的,觉得 Dong the Elder 译得非常传神! The snowy wind blows the geese south --- 这句妙!不说“北”,却blows the geese south。
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