(修改了末段) 这是我来美国后过的最快乐的一个母亲节。 其实母亲节之前的那些日子,我并不快乐。各种各样的事让我不快乐,其中也包括儿子的事!总觉得大儿对我太冷淡,另外,学习不够用功努力,等等。 三件事猛然提醒了我。 一是朋友的话。朋友从中国来,跟我说:自然瘦了,也没有以前阳光快乐了,是不是你们给他过多压力了? 二是我自己的文章,在《母亲手记:我的儿子自然》里我写道: 自然的性格里,就象他阳光般的笑容和清亮的嗓音那样,没有丝毫阴影昏暗,没有丝毫忧郁。作为母亲,自然的那份欢乐和单纯,是我心底的珍藏,是我想竭尽全力去保守和保护的美好。…… 尽管我也抓住机会勉励督促孩子要刻苦努力,但是常常半途放弃,因为我不想把孩子逼得太紧,不想让他有压力;我喜欢看他无忧无虑开怀笑的样子。自然的笑,从来都是甜蜜的;那笑本身,就是母亲的欢乐、安慰和骄傲。 三是圣经的话:爱永不止息;爱永不失败。 所以这个母亲节周末我回家,短短有限的几个小时里,我抓紧时间和孩子们接近,和他们聊天,为他们做事,给他们笑和关爱,还和他们分享了一个母亲靠为人洗衣服支持孩子念书的故事…… 周日上教会前我照例去超市购物。超市照例给每位母亲一朵康乃馨。虽然只是一朵花,我心里却感到满足和欢喜。我小心翼翼把花插在了购物车前端。不料,由于时间紧杂事多,把东西放车里时,竟然忘了带上那朵花! 我相当懊恼。可是很快,云开雾散,喜再上眉梢,因为,我读到了小儿这封信。原信是手写的哦,这个信息时代里能读到手写的信,几乎是个奇迹。 Dear Mom, For the thirteen years I have been in this world I have always seen you as a loving parent who has cared for me since the moment I opened my eyes. So now on Mother’s Day, I would like to give you this note as a sign of my gratitude and appreciation. To begin, I would just like to clarify that all the things you have done for me in my life are just too much to fit on this small, crude piece of paper. However, I do want to touch base on something that you have been supporting me for. Now as far as I can remember, I rarely see you on the weekdays. But seeing you during the weekends is enough for me to know that you are there loving and supporting me. And while you are not here on the weekdays to give me full support on my school works, you do whatever you can for me when it comes to one thing: church. Since I was young, you would always think of the best for me and take me to church. And while I stopped going for a period of time --- you know the story --- these past months, under my requests, you have been consistently taking me to church; every opportunity I get, you do your best to ensure that I get to church. Also you have been supporting me in the church’s youth group program. Now it is apparent that there is just so much you support me for --- and this is not even half of it. Overall, I just want you to know that I am thankful and appreciative towards how you love and support me. Even though we have our occasional quarrels, we always manage to pull through. I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day. Sincerely Alex 小儿是非常有心的孩子,也是一个深情的孩子。即便在他最脾气失控的时刻,我也能感受到他心底的善念和温情。我计划在《母亲手记:我的儿子而然》里好好记录一下小儿的点点滴滴。在这封母亲节信里,小儿告诉了我:我们的母子感情没有因为我的常不在家而受影响;他深深感受到我的关爱,他明白我的心和意,他很感激!这是小儿一颗心在白字黑字上的表述;这是小儿第一次如此认真、真诚的表述! 午饭上,我把信和孩子他爸及大儿分享。大儿不作声色。傍晚七点钟我即将离家时,我过去和大儿道别,大儿递给了我这首用中文手写在绘画纸上的诗: 妈妈你很美 没有女生跟你比 儿子也很帅 妈妈饭很好 吃得大家都很饱 你饭不会老 妈妈别担心 我永远不离开你 我一定回来 我亲了亲那张写着诗的绘画纸,又亲了亲大儿,连道数谢,便匆匆上路。到了佳思地我的住处,我拿出了大儿的诗,看着那一笔一画小心认真写出来的汉字,我欣喜幸福,百感交汇。再仔细看,大儿先是用铅笔描写,确定无误后再用圆珠笔描。我打电话去感谢他这份无比珍贵和特别的礼物,问他怎么知道这些汉字(我是教过他读和写,但是已经是很久以前的事了)。他说:查字典啊。 我贪婪地读着那短短的九行诗句,不时会心的笑。可是当读到最后那三句时,我落泪了。我想他知道,孩子他爸知道,知心好友们也知道,我为什么落泪。我感动,我也不舍。 仿佛再次回到大儿的童年岁月;我沉浸在绵绵的回忆里。 我不是很确定“你饭不会老”的意思,只能模糊意会。儿子很忙,我不想为这事再去电话打扰他。 母亲节之际,我的散文《母亲手记:我的儿子自然》为中国女性文化机构采纳并推荐,登上了中国网China.com; 稍后再为中国艺术批评站文学首页刊载。这篇文章引发了许多的共鸣和评论,底下是一位来自世界日报博客网的读者的评论: This is very touching!! All the parents can identify themselves through your wonderful writing. Right now, I have to focus on my grandkids - I am very grateful for all the roles given to me: daughter, wife, mom and grandma. Happy Mothers day!!!
By the way, I enjoyed your novel which was just completed through WJ blog by you. Its an excellent one.
我心头感恩再起,温情澎湃。如果说我那篇文章倾注了我作为一个母亲的深情厚爱,那么,小儿的手写英文信,大儿的手写中文诗,则是儿子给妈妈的傻傻的、赤子的童真纯情。 写到这里,举头远眺,一弯新月,脉脉含情…… 这是一个母亲最快乐的母亲节;这是大儿奔赴大学前的最后一个母亲节。小树参天,岁月老去 ------ 然而就像他们永远是我的乖男孩一样,我也将永远是他们的妈妈;他们广阔天地后面的温馨的门,宁静的港和遮荫的树,那一串喋喋不休的祈福和爱语......
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