LG在一個會計師事務所工作，他的頂頭上司，公司合伙人之一，Bobby，是一個四十
歲出頭精明強幹的猶太人。他和妻子Heidi育有四個孩子，年齡在7-14歲之間。兩年
前，一場噩運降臨到這個美滿的家庭 - Heidi不幸被診斷得了乳腺癌！在化療一段
時間後，癌症似乎得到了控制，可是去年11月，癌細胞突然向她的全身迅速擴散。
為了控制癌細胞的擴散，他們和醫生決定採取aggressive的治療方案，在癌並未入
侵輸卵管和子宮時將二者都摘除了，希望以此爭取時間，控制病魔。聖誕期間，Heidi
病情惡化，住進了醫院。在住院之前，生性樂觀快樂的Heidi為了讓眾多的朋友們及
時了解她的治療進展，通過Caringbridge 設立了一個網上community。以後的幾個
星期里，她隔幾天就在上面貼一些帖子，報告她在醫院接受的各種treatment，回復
朋友們的comment。由於她和丈夫都來自大家族，本身又交遊廣泛，短短幾個星期里
就有上千的visit。他們的親戚，朋友，朋友的朋友，甚至很久沒有聯繫的昔日同窗，
父母的鄰居，都時常到這個網站上關注他們的消息，並在網上貼了數不清的帖子。
有的讚揚他們的頑強和樂觀，有的回憶與他們夫婦過往的快樂時光，更多的是祝福
他們早日度過此劫，重享健康和快樂。她的熱心的朋友們在他們最需要的時候伸出
了援助的手，有人每天幫忙送孩子上學，有的包下了grocery shopping，有的為孩
子的課外活動提供carpool，他們甚至利用這個網站協調這些志願者的活動。。。

漸漸的，Heidi的post 越來越稀疏，更多的是由Bobby貼的，而Heidi偶爾的帖子漸
漸由以前的描述自己的治療進展，變成了非常sentimental的對往事的回憶和對自己
身後事的安排。在這些令人心碎的帖子裡，她回憶自己和Bobby相識，相愛，共同生
活的二十年，回憶每個孩子的出生給他們帶來的快樂，感謝他們各自的家庭對他們
的愛和支持。字裡行間，可以看到她對生的眷戀，但面對漸漸臨近的死亡，她又是
那麼的坦然，她唯一放心不下的是她死後Bobby是否能夠照管好四個孩子。他們的大
兒子還有幾個月就要滿十四歲了，這對猶太家庭是一個很重要的日子，Heidi很早就
開始為兒子的成年禮(Bar Mitzvah)作準備了，在她生命的最後日子裡，她還不忘給
丈夫留下她能想到的一切細節安排，還讓兒子在她的病房裡練習儀式上的程序。。。
今年二月，Heidi終於在深愛她的丈夫懷裡離開了人世。。。

Heidi的葬禮有一兩千人參加。她的大兒子代表父親和三個弟妹在葬禮上發言回憶母
親。可以說，那一刻，“There are no dry eyes in the room"。葬禮後，按照猶太
教的傳統，Bobby和孩子們及Heidi的父母家人在家host 為期一周的Shivah，也就是
讓親戚朋友們來家裡訪問。那一個星期，他家門口每到晚上擠滿了車，甚至需要專
人負責valet parking才能安排川流不息的來訪者。人們到他們家裡短暫地坐一坐，
對逝者的家人表示哀悼，也和他們一起回憶Heidi短暫而美麗的一生。另外，以Heidi命
名的基金會也成立了，收到的捐款全部轉給Susan G. Koman Foundation用於癌症研
究。

此後，Bobby在家休息了兩個月，他主要的精力投入在陪伴四個孩子，幫助他們早日
從喪母的悲痛中解脫出來。二月份正是CPA公司最忙最緊張的時候，但公司上上下下
和有關的客戶，都對Bobby的absence 非常理解和支持。我LG因為是他的主要干將，
這時義不容辭地一人干兩個人的活，還常常獨當一面和大大小小的客戶打交道，回
答問題，提供諮詢，等等。Bobby對此深為感激。開始我們以為，Heidi去世也意味
着她的網站的終結，可是不然，在最初最艱難的日子熬過之後(我們無法想象那些日
子他們是怎樣過來的)，Bobby開始在網上enter post，向關心他的朋友家人講述他
和孩子們在Heidi離開後的生活。他的post讀來讓人心酸，但也讓人深切地感受到他
們愛的力量，他們對彼此的承諾的力量。他在盡最大的力量保持Heidi在過去十幾年
為他和孩子們創造的環境和傳統，如成人禮(在Heidi去世兩個月後，他們慶祝了大
兒子的成人禮)，孩子們的生日， 母親節的pancake 早餐，孩子們的夏令營，等等。
而親朋們也從這些post里記載的一個個“里程碑”看到他和孩子們頑強的腳印。從
去年12月開始到現在，網站總共有63000次訪問。我相信，人們在訪問他們的網站後，
都會得到一種淨化，一種力量，會想讓自己更寬容，會想象他們一樣，enjoy everyday
and love the people in their lives as much as they can！

Bobby和Heidi建立網站的初衷是為了便於朋友和家人隨時了解她的情況。後來網站
成為了他們和所有關心他們的人們互動的平台，很多相識不相識的人都到這個網站
來訪問。在此我摘幾段最打動我的post，希望各位能從中受到同樣的感動：

Posted by Heidi on 1/24/07:

I believe there are no coincidences in life. Every situation teaches me
a lesson which I internalize and move on.

And so I feel each of you is in my life now for a reason. A special role
that only you can fill. I especially noticed it these last few days.

While I am a very spiritual person and believe in Angels, I have found more
Angels on earth helping me on my journey than I can count. From my Kentucky
friends, college friends, Deerfield friends (friends formally of Deerfield!)
and family each of you offers a special piece of you. And what really blows
me away are the complete strangers who could only be sent to me by divine
intervention.

For example, back in December when I first had to run all of the tests,
I was in the waiting room for a CT scan, A grandmother began speaking with
me and told me her breast cancer was in her bones, lungs, liver, brain,
etc. but she had been going strong for 8 years and they were not going to
stop her now. At that point, I had no idea what my results would be, however,
 her strength gave me hope and courage.

You are all so kind to give me such credit for being so courageous. But
it is the contact with so many of my earthly Angels which keeps me forging
ahead. I love reading your entries. Some make me laugh, some make me feel
so blessed. Some warm my heart, some soothe my soul. Some make me cry (but
in a good way) and some make me shake my head and be thankful we are friends!

Thank you for all of your offers to help with Gregs Bar Mitzvah. I do have
a few friends who are helping me, but mainly I want to do it myself. I need
happy things to keep my spirits up and it is something Greg and I are doing
together. I PROMISE you that if I should need additional help I will call
you. For instance, I see no reason to leave a dressing room when my personal
shopper, Stacy, can conserve my energy AND be full of great taste.

Sweet Dreams to all of my Angels!

Post by Bobby on 3/17/07:
Friends,

First, I need to publicly thank all of you who have sent my family and me
cards and donations in Heidi＊s honor these past several weeks. I have received
cards from people I haven＊t seen in 20 years and some from people I’ve
never met (similar to the guest book). In fact, I received a card from a
PTO from a school that none of my children even attend! We could never have
imagined how many people Heidi touched and how profoundly she impacted them.
Even writing this brings tears streaming down my face.

Several people have asked the question why did she have to do die now, at
age 40? My response is the same as it was from the first day of Shiva; maybe
G-ds original intention was that she was going to die at age 20, but instead
He gave her 20 more years with us, not 20 fewer. This allowed her to touch
all of the lives I read about in the guestbook each and very night. We should
never assume that the alternatives are better outcomes than the one we received.
 The question of "Why her", or " Why now" are questions I dont even ask,
yet alone attempt to answer.

My focus must remain solely on the task of raising my 4 young children in
the same manner as I would have if Heidi were healthy and by my side. Even
tonight at the Shabbat table, we gave money to tzadaka (charity) and sang
all of the blessings. Diana insisted she sing the blessing over the candles
herself (both of her grandmothers were not allowed to sing with her). I
am trying to keep as much consistency in their lives as humanly possibly.

願天下有愛的人都終生相守，無論在人間，在天堂！