LG在一个会计师事务所工作，他的顶头上司，公司合伙人之一，Bobby，是一个四十
岁出头精明强干的犹太人。他和妻子Heidi育有四个孩子，年龄在7-14岁之间。两年
前，一场噩运降临到这个美满的家庭 - Heidi不幸被诊断得了乳腺癌！在化疗一段
时间后，癌症似乎得到了控制，可是去年11月，癌细胞突然向她的全身迅速扩散。
为了控制癌细胞的扩散，他们和医生决定采取aggressive的治疗方案，在癌并未入
侵输卵管和子宫时将二者都摘除了，希望以此争取时间，控制病魔。圣诞期间，Heidi
病情恶化，住进了医院。在住院之前，生性乐观快乐的Heidi为了让众多的朋友们及
时了解她的治疗进展，通过Caringbridge 设立了一个网上community。以后的几个
星期里，她隔几天就在上面贴一些帖子，报告她在医院接受的各种treatment，回复
朋友们的comment。由於她和丈夫都来自大家族，本身又交游广泛，短短几个星期里
就有上千的visit。他们的亲戚，朋友，朋友的朋友，甚至很久没有联系的昔日同窗，
父母的邻居，都时常到这个网站上关注他们的消息，并在网上贴了数不清的帖子。
有的赞扬他们的顽强和乐观，有的回忆与他们夫妇过往的快乐时光，更多的是祝福
他们早日度过此劫，重享健康和快乐。她的热心的朋友们在他们最需要的时候伸出
了援助的手，有人每天帮忙送孩子上学，有的包下了grocery shopping，有的为孩
子的课外活动提供carpool，他们甚至利用这个网站协调这些志愿者的活动。。。 渐渐的，Heidi的post 越来越稀疏，更多的是由Bobby贴的，而Heidi偶尔的帖子渐
渐由以前的描述自己的治疗进展，变成了非常sentimental的对往事的回忆和对自己
身后事的安排。在这些令人心碎的帖子里，她回忆自己和Bobby相识，相爱，共同生
活的二十年，回忆每个孩子的出生给他们带来的快乐，感谢他们各自的家庭对他们
的爱和支持。字里行间，可以看到她对生的眷恋，但面对渐渐临近的死亡，她又是
那么的坦然，她唯一放心不下的是她死后Bobby是否能够照管好四个孩子。他们的大
儿子还有几个月就要满十四岁了，这对犹太家庭是一个很重要的日子，Heidi很早就
开始为儿子的成年礼(Bar Mitzvah)作准备了，在她生命的最后日子里，她还不忘给
丈夫留下她能想到的一切细节安排，还让儿子在她的病房里练习仪式上的程序。。。
今年二月，Heidi终於在深爱她的丈夫怀里离开了人世。。。 Heidi的葬礼有一两千人参加。她的大儿子代表父亲和三个弟妹在葬礼上发言回忆母
亲。可以说，那一刻，“There are no dry eyes in the room"。葬礼后，按照犹太
教的传统，Bobby和孩子们及Heidi的父母家人在家host 为期一周的Shivah，也就是
让亲戚朋友们来家里访问。那一个星期，他家门口每到晚上挤满了车，甚至需要专
人负责valet parking才能安排川流不息的来访者。人们到他们家里短暂地坐一坐，
对逝者的家人表示哀悼，也和他们一起回忆Heidi短暂而美丽的一生。另外，以Heidi命
名的基金会也成立了，收到的捐款全部转给Susan G. Koman Foundation用于癌症研
究。 此后，Bobby在家休息了两个月，他主要的精力投入在陪伴四个孩子，帮助他们早日
从丧母的悲痛中解脱出来。二月份正是CPA公司最忙最紧张的时候，但公司上上下下
和有关的客户，都对Bobby的absence 非常理解和支持。我LG因为是他的主要干将，
这时义不容辞地一人干两个人的活，还常常独当一面和大大小小的客户打交道，回
答问题，提供咨询，等等。Bobby对此深为感激。开始我们以为，Heidi去世也意味
着她的网站的终结，可是不然，在最初最艰难的日子熬过之后(我们无法想象那些日
子他们是怎样过来的)，Bobby开始在网上enter post，向关心他的朋友家人讲述他
和孩子们在Heidi离开后的生活。他的post读来让人心酸，但也让人深切地感受到他
们爱的力量，他们对彼此的承诺的力量。他在尽最大的力量保持Heidi在过去十几年
为他和孩子们创造的环境和传统，如成人礼(在Heidi去世两个月后，他们庆祝了大
儿子的成人礼)，孩子们的生日， 母亲节的pancake 早餐，孩子们的夏令营，等等。
而亲朋们也从这些post里记载的一个个“里程碑”看到他和孩子们顽强的脚印。从
去年12月开始到现在，网站总共有63000次访问。我相信，人们在访问他们的网站后，
都会得到一种净化，一种力量，会想让自己更宽容，会想象他们一样，enjoy everyday
and love the people in their lives as much as they can！ Bobby和Heidi建立网站的初衷是为了便於朋友和家人随时了解她的情况。后来网站
成为了他们和所有关心他们的人们互动的平台，很多相识不相识的人都到这个网站
来访问。在此我摘几段最打动我的post，希望各位能从中受到同样的感动： Posted by Heidi on 1/24/07: I believe there are no coincidences in life. Every situation teaches me
a lesson which I internalize and move on. And so I feel each of you is in my life now for a reason. A special role
that only you can fill. I especially noticed it these last few days. While I am a very spiritual person and believe in Angels, I have found more
Angels on earth helping me on my journey than I can count. From my Kentucky
friends, college friends, Deerfield friends (friends formally of Deerfield!)
and family each of you offers a special piece of you. And what really blows
me away are the complete strangers who could only be sent to me by divine
intervention. For example, back in December when I first had to run all of the tests,
I was in the waiting room for a CT scan, A grandmother began speaking with
me and told me her breast cancer was in her bones, lungs, liver, brain,
etc. but she had been going strong for 8 years and they were not going to
stop her now. At that point, I had no idea what my results would be, however,
her strength gave me hope and courage. You are all so kind to give me such credit for being so courageous. But
it is the contact with so many of my earthly Angels which keeps me forging
ahead. I love reading your entries. Some make me laugh, some make me feel
so blessed. Some warm my heart, some soothe my soul. Some make me cry (but
in a good way) and some make me shake my head and be thankful we are friends!
Thank you for all of your offers to help with Gregs Bar Mitzvah. I do have
a few friends who are helping me, but mainly I want to do it myself. I need
happy things to keep my spirits up and it is something Greg and I are doing
together. I PROMISE you that if I should need additional help I will call
you. For instance, I see no reason to leave a dressing room when my personal
shopper, Stacy, can conserve my energy AND be full of great taste.
Sweet Dreams to all of my Angels!
Post by Bobby on 3/17/07:
Friends,
First, I need to publicly thank all of you who have sent my family and me
cards and donations in Heidi＊s honor these past several weeks. I have received
cards from people I haven＊t seen in 20 years and some from people I’ve
never met (similar to the guest book). In fact, I received a card from a
PTO from a school that none of my children even attend! We could never have
imagined how many people Heidi touched and how profoundly she impacted them.
Even writing this brings tears streaming down my face. Several people have asked the question why did she have to do die now, at
age 40? My response is the same as it was from the first day of Shiva; maybe
G-ds original intention was that she was going to die at age 20, but instead
He gave her 20 more years with us, not 20 fewer. This allowed her to touch
all of the lives I read about in the guestbook each and very night. We should
never assume that the alternatives are better outcomes than the one we received.
The question of "Why her", or " Why now" are questions I dont even ask,
yet alone attempt to answer. My focus must remain solely on the task of raising my 4 young children in
the same manner as I would have if Heidi were healthy and by my side. Even
tonight at the Shabbat table, we gave money to tzadaka (charity) and sang
all of the blessings. Diana insisted she sing the blessing over the candles
herself (both of her grandmothers were not allowed to sing with her). I
am trying to keep as much consistency in their lives as humanly possibly.
愿天下有爱的人都终生相守，无论在人间，在天堂！
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