Suzhou Quirky Potpourris, China(苏州—姑苏奇葩)-儿歌荟萃-万维博客-万维读者网（电脑版）

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		Suzhou Quirky Potpourris, China(苏州—姑苏奇葩)	2020-07-29 07:22:35

2019-07-23

Quirks of Suzhou0001.JPG

【Aiden in English】

Suzhou is full of quirks. What are quirks? Well, it's a characteristic that makes one tilt the head a bit. Suzhou is quite full of mentioned quirks. I am going to elaborate.

I'd never in a hundred years think that Pennsylvania summertime would be 'cool'; but in the face of hell's kitchen, I feel like even my high school's fans would be of great appreciation. Walking around Southern China in the summertime is like putting an ice cream bar on a campfire -- the ice cream melts off and the stick ignites. I had a fan -- past tense because I lost it or it was stolen. While the slight breeze felt bliss, every time I stopped fanning, my face would scream for mercy. Much like an addict, my body would enter a sudden withdrawal phase. I would start itching my face and legs, doubling over in agony.

Sounds like an overstatement, but for much of the trip, I was followed by a horde of tiny mosquitos. I felt just like a celebrity, except instead of fans, it's a swarm of blood-sucking, annoying, noisy bugs that try to touch you -- so essentially fans. The tiny vampires feasted on my foreign blood specifically. I can only imagine the first customer running around to all his friends, whispering "Hey, did you get a taste of that new Philadelphian diner that came to town?"

As of writing this, the bite count totals around seventeen. I've got red spots on my legs, hands, elbows, neck, and even in covered areas like my upper arm and thigh. According to my mother, tiny mosquitos can penetrate clothing. I find that hard to believe, and also very unfair. How is one supposed to swat away a mosquito without them even touching your body? A true annoyance.

Speaking of annoyances, Chinese culture does not traditionally drink cold water. Now, this would be justified if the hot drinks arrived when needed, say in cold weather. But as previously mentioned, China is a raging fire. Once the ice cream bar begins burning, you don't toss boiling water on the ice cream in the hope to save the ice cream. Of course, China serves boiling water or tea for practical purposes too. Due to certain unsanitary aspects of water filtration, boiling water becomes an efficient method of processing. Yet Chinese folk find tons of other reasons to advertise hot water. For example, a slightly older Chinese person with an average education will say hot water helps metabolism, the skin, and relaxation. Then you ask for evidence, and they end up listing their favorite TV station. I suppose having hot water as the filtration method is better than alternatives. In Ancient Rome, kids would chug alcohol when thirsty because wine purified water.

These aspects pushed my buttons a bit, but after a while and getting bitten twenty times, I got used to them. Even still, there is no better feeling than returning to a cool room with air conditioning and grabbing ice water from the fridge.

【红霞译文】

苏州奇葩朵朵。何谓奇葩？其实就是一种让人刮目相看的气质，苏州确实逸丽隽秀，且听我娓娓道来。

我死都不会相信宾州夏季竟然很“酷”，但即使身陷“地狱厨房”，我的那些高中粉丝依旧羡慕得要死。夏天跑到江南一带耍酷犹如把冰棍扔进篝火──冰碴化了，木棍着了。我曾有把扇子──过去式，已经弄丢或被偷了。清风拂面，扇得心里美滋滋的，而只要扇子停了，脸上便掩饰不住可怜兮兮的表情，如同一个瘾君子，浑身上下立马变怂了，我开始抓耳挠腿，折腾得苦不堪言。

乍听起来有点夸大其词，但在大部分行程中，一大群小蚊子总围着我打转，好像我是什么名流要人似的，它们哪里是粉丝，分明是极尽吸血、骚扰、吵闹之能事且盯住你不放的坏蛋──本质上堪称粉丝，这些小不点吸血鬼专门饮用外地人身上的血液，我不难想象第一个尝到甜头的家伙跑去朋友圈得瑟：“瞧嘞，你们尝过新进口的费城鲜味吗？”

写到这里为止，我浑身上下总共被蚊子咬起17个大包，腿、手、胳膊肘、脖子、甚至像上臂和大腿这样被遮掩的部位全部出现红肿。据母亲说，小蚊子能透过衣服叮人，令我难以相信，简直无法无天，那么在蚊子尚未贴近你身体之前如何扇走它呢？真够伤脑筋的。

说到烦恼，文化传统上咱国人不喝冷水；如今，假若热饮随时享用，比如天冷的时候，那么实无烦恼可言。但如前所述，举高上下国热浪翻腾，一旦冰棍着火，你不能为救冰棍而用开水去浇。当然，中国确实提供开水或热茶，由于过滤的水难免夹杂种种不卫生的东西，烧开水便成为一种行之有效的解决手段。国人有各种各样的理由推销开水，例如：稍微上点年纪并受过普通教育的老百姓认为热水对代谢、皮肤和放松有百利而无一害，之后你问有什么凭证，他们最终把自己喜欢的电视台搬了出来。依我看，用热水作为过滤手段比别的方法都强。古罗马年代，小孩渴了就饮酒，因为葡萄酒可以净化水。

蚊子的所作所为没少给我添堵，但稍过片刻，又咬上20口，我已经习以为常。即便如此，没有比回到带空调的凉快房间再从冰箱里拎出一瓶冰水更教我痛快。

Today in History(历史上的今天):

2019: Suzhou—Lion Grove Garden, China(苏州狮子林)

2019: Suzhou—Humble Administrator's Garden, China(苏州拙政园)

2015: PSC B-Ball Camp─Layup(费城运动俱乐部篮球营─上篮)

2014: Pokémon-II(《神奇宝贝》之二)

2010: 学以致用(Learn towards Practice)

2009: 下棋(Board Games)