Suzhou Quirky Potpourris, China(蘇州—姑蘇奇葩)-兒歌薈萃-萬維博客-萬維讀者網（電腦版）

網絡日誌正文

		Suzhou Quirky Potpourris, China(蘇州—姑蘇奇葩)	2020-07-29 07:22:35

2019-07-23

Quirks of Suzhou0001.JPG

【Aiden in English】

Suzhou is full of quirks. What are quirks? Well, it's a characteristic that makes one tilt the head a bit. Suzhou is quite full of mentioned quirks. I am going to elaborate.

I'd never in a hundred years think that Pennsylvania summertime would be 'cool'; but in the face of hell's kitchen, I feel like even my high school's fans would be of great appreciation. Walking around Southern China in the summertime is like putting an ice cream bar on a campfire -- the ice cream melts off and the stick ignites. I had a fan -- past tense because I lost it or it was stolen. While the slight breeze felt bliss, every time I stopped fanning, my face would scream for mercy. Much like an addict, my body would enter a sudden withdrawal phase. I would start itching my face and legs, doubling over in agony.

Sounds like an overstatement, but for much of the trip, I was followed by a horde of tiny mosquitos. I felt just like a celebrity, except instead of fans, it's a swarm of blood-sucking, annoying, noisy bugs that try to touch you -- so essentially fans. The tiny vampires feasted on my foreign blood specifically. I can only imagine the first customer running around to all his friends, whispering "Hey, did you get a taste of that new Philadelphian diner that came to town?"

As of writing this, the bite count totals around seventeen. I've got red spots on my legs, hands, elbows, neck, and even in covered areas like my upper arm and thigh. According to my mother, tiny mosquitos can penetrate clothing. I find that hard to believe, and also very unfair. How is one supposed to swat away a mosquito without them even touching your body? A true annoyance.

Speaking of annoyances, Chinese culture does not traditionally drink cold water. Now, this would be justified if the hot drinks arrived when needed, say in cold weather. But as previously mentioned, China is a raging fire. Once the ice cream bar begins burning, you don't toss boiling water on the ice cream in the hope to save the ice cream. Of course, China serves boiling water or tea for practical purposes too. Due to certain unsanitary aspects of water filtration, boiling water becomes an efficient method of processing. Yet Chinese folk find tons of other reasons to advertise hot water. For example, a slightly older Chinese person with an average education will say hot water helps metabolism, the skin, and relaxation. Then you ask for evidence, and they end up listing their favorite TV station. I suppose having hot water as the filtration method is better than alternatives. In Ancient Rome, kids would chug alcohol when thirsty because wine purified water.

These aspects pushed my buttons a bit, but after a while and getting bitten twenty times, I got used to them. Even still, there is no better feeling than returning to a cool room with air conditioning and grabbing ice water from the fridge.

【紅霞譯文】

蘇州奇葩朵朵。何謂奇葩？其實就是一種讓人刮目相看的氣質，蘇州確實逸麗雋秀，且聽我娓娓道來。

我死都不會相信賓州夏季竟然很“酷”，但即使身陷“地獄廚房”，我的那些高中粉絲依舊羨慕得要死。夏天跑到江南一帶耍酷猶如把冰棍扔進篝火──冰碴化了，木棍着了。我曾有把扇子──過去式，已經弄丟或被偷了。清風拂面，扇得心裡美滋滋的，而只要扇子停了，臉上便掩飾不住可憐兮兮的表情，如同一個癮君子，渾身上下立馬變慫了，我開始抓耳撓腿，折騰得苦不堪言。

乍聽起來有點誇大其詞，但在大部分行程中，一大群小蚊子總圍着我打轉，好像我是什麼名流要人似的，它們哪裡是粉絲，分明是極盡吸血、騷擾、吵鬧之能事且盯住你不放的壞蛋──本質上堪稱粉絲，這些小不點吸血鬼專門飲用外地人身上的血液，我不難想象第一個嘗到甜頭的傢伙跑去朋友圈得瑟：“瞧嘞，你們嘗過新進口的費城鮮味嗎？”

寫到這裡為止，我渾身上下總共被蚊子咬起17個大包，腿、手、胳膊肘、脖子、甚至像上臂和大腿這樣被遮掩的部位全部出現紅腫。據母親說，小蚊子能透過衣服叮人，令我難以相信，簡直無法無天，那麼在蚊子尚未貼近你身體之前如何扇走它呢？真夠傷腦筋的。

說到煩惱，文化傳統上咱國人不喝冷水；如今，假若熱飲隨時享用，比如天冷的時候，那麼實無煩惱可言。但如前所述，舉高上下國熱浪翻騰，一旦冰棍着火，你不能為救冰棍而用開水去澆。當然，中國確實提供開水或熱茶，由於過濾的水難免夾雜種種不衛生的東西，燒開水便成為一種行之有效的解決手段。國人有各種各樣的理由推銷開水，例如：稍微上點年紀並受過普通教育的老百姓認為熱水對代謝、皮膚和放鬆有百利而無一害，之後你問有什麼憑證，他們最終把自己喜歡的電視台搬了出來。依我看，用熱水作為過濾手段比別的方法都強。古羅馬年代，小孩渴了就飲酒，因為葡萄酒可以淨化水。

蚊子的所作所為沒少給我添堵，但稍過片刻，又咬上20口，我已經習以為常。即便如此，沒有比回到帶空調的涼快房間再從冰箱裡拎出一瓶冰水更教我痛快。

Today in History(歷史上的今天):

2019: Suzhou—Lion Grove Garden, China(蘇州獅子林)

2019: Suzhou—Humble Administrator's Garden, China(蘇州拙政園)

2015: PSC B-Ball Camp─Layup(費城運動俱樂部籃球營─上籃)

2014: Pokémon-II(《神奇寶貝》之二)

2010: 學以致用(Learn towards Practice)

2009: 下棋(Board Games)