Gotta Dance 献身舞蹈 by Jackson Jodie Daviss 作者: 杰克逊 乔廸 戴维斯
1. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it to anyone, Before I knew it, it was all through the family, and they’d all made it their business to challenge me. I wouldn’t tell them my plans, other than to say I was leaving, but that was enough to set them off. Uncle Mike called from Oregon to say, “Katie, don’t do it,” and I wouldn’t have hung up on him except that he added, “Haven’t you caused enough disappoint- -ment?” That did it. Nine people had already told me no, and Uncle Mike lit the fire under me when he made it ten. Nine-eight-seven-six- five-four-three-two-one. Kaboom. 也许我不应该对任何人提起我的跳舞，我知道，这些家人他们一直都用 自己的方式挑战我。我不会告诉他们我的计划，更别说我要离开, 当然 这足已让他们生气了。舅舅麦克从俄勒冈州打来电话说, “凯蒂，不要 做这个”，我没有挂断电话，他却增加了一句说： “你有足够的理由失 望吗?” 这还真让他说着了。九个家人已经都否定过了, 而舅舅麦克成为 第十个人，他点着了我的火，九-八-七-六-五-四-三-二-一, 砰！ 2. On my way to the bus station, I stopped by the old house. I still had my key and I knew no one was home. After ducking my head into each room, including my old one, just to be sure I was alone, I went into my brother’s room and set my duffel bag and myself on his bed. 在去公共汽车站的路上，我在一所旧房子前停了下来。我还有这里的钥匙， 我知道没有人在家。就急速的低下头，进入了每一个房间，包括我的旧房 间，我只是想确定一下，只有我一人而没有别的人在家。我到哥哥的房间 里，放好了我的行李袋，躺在了哥哥的床上。 3. The blinds were shut so the room was dim, but I looked around at all the things I knew by heart and welcomed the softening effect of the low light. I sat there a very long time in the silence until I began to think I might never rise from that bed or come out of that gray light, so I pushed myself to my feet. I ease off my sneakers and pushed the rug aside so I could have some polished floor, then I pulled the door shut. 百叶窗关闭遮掩着外面的光线，所以屋里是暗淡的。但是我四下观望所有 的东西，我用心记下我所熟悉的东西。我喜欢微弱光线所造成的一种温 柔的效果。我在寂静中悄悄地坐了很久，直到我开始想，也许我再也不 会从床上起来或从昏暗的光线中走出去，所以我强迫自己站了起来。我 脱掉我的运动鞋，把小垫子推到一边, 所以擦亮了一些地板，然后关上了 门。 4. Anyone passing in the hall outside might’ve heard a soft sound, a gentle sweeping sound, maybe a creak of the floor but not much more as I danced a very soft shoe* in my stocking feet. Arms outstretched but loose and swaying, head laid back and to one side, like falling asleep, eyes very nearly closed in that room like twilight, I danced to the beat of my heart. (*a soft shoe: tap dance steps but without taps (metal caps) on the shoes; a silent dance) 所有经过大厅外面的人，都会听到一个柔软的声音，扫地的轻轻的声 音, 可能是地板的嘎吱声，但不是很大。当我跳舞时是穿着长袜和没有 金属头的软底鞋，胳膊舒展开，但却是自由散漫摇晃着的，头向后仰 起，然后向一侧歪倒，就如同在打磕睡似的，眼睛轻轻的合盖着几乎 都闭上了，屋子里就像黄昏一样，我跟着心中的节拍翩翩起舞。 5. After a while, I straightened the rug, opened the blinds to the bright day and walked out of what was now just another room without him in it. He was the only one I said good-bye to, and the only one I asked to come with me, if he could. 过了一会儿，我停下来站立在小块儿地毯上，打开百叶窗看到明亮的天， 我走到另一个房间，没有别人在里面。他是唯一的我对他说再见的人， 他是我唯一询问跟不跟我一起来的人, 如果他愿意。 6. At the bus station, I asked the guy for a ticket to the nearest city of some size. Most of them are far apart in the Midwest and I liked the idea of those log rides with time to think. I like buses—the long-haul (*gotta dance: slang expression for “I have got to dance,” “I must dance”) kind, anyway-because they’re so public that they’re private. I also like the pace, easing you out of one pace before easing you into the next, no big jolts to your system. 在车站，我问售票员买一张票，是到最近的有一定规模的一个城市。大多 数中西部城市都比较远，我喜欢这种在长时间客运乘坐中思考自己的问题。 我喜欢那种长挂车厢。不管怎么说，虽然公共汽车是公共的场所，但还是 有私人空间的。我也喜欢这种步伐，缓解之后回落到一个步伐, 接下来又进入 到下一个，你的系统没有什么大的颠簸。 7. My bus had very few people in it and the long ride was uneventful, except when the little boy threw his hat out the window. The mother got upset, but the kid was happy. He clearly hated that hat; I’d seen him come close to launching it twice before he finally let fly. The thing sailed in a beautiful arc, then settled on a fence post, a ringer, just the may you never can do it when you try. The woman asked the driver if he’d mind going back for the hat. He said he’d mind. So the woman stayed upset and the kid stayed happy. I liked her well enough, but the boy was maybe the most annoying kid I’ve come a cross, so I didn’t offer him the money to buy a hat he and his mother could agree on. Money would have been no problem. Money has never been my problem. 我乘坐的车厢里只有很少的人，在长途运行中没有什么特殊的事情，除 了当一个小男孩把自己的帽子扔到了窗外，他的妈妈不安，而小男孩却 是愉快的。他显然恨那个帽子。在他最后让帽子飞走之前，我离他很近 的看到他两次扔抛帽子。最后一次，竟划出了一个漂亮的弧形抛线，然 后套在了一个栅栏柱上，这种事当你试图去套住的时候是不会成功的。 这位妈妈请求司机，如果他不介意可否把车开回去，让她拣回帽子。司 机说不可能。所以这个女人一直不安，她的孩子却快乐着。我很喜欢这 个女人， 但很讨厌那个男孩，使我产生了一种痛苦，所以我不会给他钱 去买一个帽子，他的妈妈应该会同意的。钱本来没有问题的。 钱从来不 成为我的问题。 8. There are some who say money is precisely my problem, in that I give it so little thought. I don’t own much. I lose things all the time. I’m told I dress lousy. I’m told, too, that I have no appreciation of money because I’ve never had to do without it. That may be true. But even if it is, it’s not all there is to say about a person. 有一些人说，钱正是我的问题，给钱是个不太可能的想法。我挣的钱不多， 只有这么小的想法, 没有其他的了。我失去了许多和所有的时间。我被告知我穿 着极不合适，我还被告知，我没有升值钱，因为我从来没有。这可能是真的。 但即使是真的，说这话的人是不是了解一个人。 9. There is one thing I do well, and money didn’t buy it, couldn’t have bought it for me. I am one fine dancer. I can dance like nobody you’ve ever seen. Heck, I can dance like everybody you’ve ever seen. I didn’t take lessons, not the usual kind, because I’m a natural, but I’ve worn out a few sets of tapes and a VCR. I’d watch Gene Kelly and practice until I had his steps. Watch Fred Astaire, practice, get his steps. I prac- tice all the time. Bill Robinson. Eleanor Powell. Donald O’Connor. Ginger Rogers. You know, movie dancers. I’m a movie dancer. I don’t dance in the movies though. Never have. Who does, anymore? I dance where and when I can. 有一件事我做得好，不是花钱买的，我也没有买过什么。我是一名好的舞 蹈家。我跳的舞蹈是从没人见过的那种。真见鬼！我可以跳人们所见过的 所有舞蹈。我没有选课，这不符合常规，但我是自然而然的，我用坏了一 些磁带和一个录像机。我观看吉恩 凯利，然后反复练习直到跳得和 他一样完美。我观看佛瑞德 阿斯泰尔，也是反复练习，也学会了他的精华。 我用所有的时间练习跳舞：彼尔 罗伯逊、埃莉诺 鲍威尔、 唐纳德 欧卡诺、 金泽 罗杰斯他们的经典舞蹈我都学会了。你知道电影舞蹈者，我就是一名 电影舞蹈演员。虽然我从来没有在电影中跳过舞，现在谁在跳？无论在什么 地方或什么时间, 我跳舞时，我可以。 10. My many and vocal relatives don’t think much, have never thought much, of my dancing-largely, I believe, because they are not dancers themselves. To be honest, they don’t think much of anything I do, not since I left the path they’d see for me, and that’s been most of my twenty-three years. These people, critical of achievement they don’t understand, without praise for talents and dreams or the elegant risk, are terrified of being left behind but haven’t the grace to come along in spirit. 我的家庭成员和为我的舞蹈唱歌的人没什么想法，他们从来没有想到过 我的舞 蹈的重要，我相信这是因为他们不是跳舞的。说实话，在我23 岁的时光里，任何关于我的跳舞他们都不在乎。自从他们看我一直没有 离开舞蹈，竟从来没有关心过。对于我重要的成就他们不知道，没有对 天才和梦想或者是优雅的冒险有什么称赞，他们只是害怕自己落后而被 遗弃，但并非在精神上面有什么善意。 11. Mutts and I talked a lot about that. He was a family exception, as I am, and he thought whatever I did was more than fine. He was my brother, and I backed everything he did, too. He played blues harmonica He told bad jokes. We did have plans. His name was Ronald, but everyone’s called him Mutts since he was a baby. No one remembers why. He never got his chance to fly, and I figure if I don’t do this now, I maybe never will. I need to do it for both of us. 马梯斯和我交谈了许多关于这个。他是这个家庭中的例外，象我一样， 我做过的任何事情他都是往好处想。他是我的哥哥，我也支持他所做的 每件事情。他用口琴演奏布鲁斯乐曲。他说坏的笑话。我们有一个计划。 他的名字叫罗纳德，但每个人都叫他马梯斯，在他还是个婴儿的时候就 这么叫他，没有人记得为什么?他从来没有机会去飞，我估计如果现在我 不跳舞，将来也永远不会跳了。我要为我们两个人而奋斗。 12. The bus depot was crowded and crummy, like most city depots seem to be. I stored my bag in a locker, bought a paper and headed for where the bright lights would be. I carried my tap shoes and tape player. 公共汽车站被挤得满满的，如同大多数城市那样。我在一个寄物柜里存 放好我的包，买了一张报纸，应该朝有亮光的地方走去。我带着我的踢踏 舞鞋和磁带播放器. 13. When I reached the area I wanted it was still early, so I looked for a place to wait. I found a clean diner, with a big front window where I could read the paper and watch for the lines to form. I told the wait- ress I wanted a large cup of coffee before ordering. After half an hour or so, she brought another refill and asked if I was ready. She was kind and patient and I wondered what she was doing in the job. It seems like nothing takes it out of you like waitress work. She was young; maybe that was it. I asked her what was good and she recom- mended the baked chicken special, and said it was what she had on her break. That’s what I had, and she was right, but I only picked at it, I wanted something for energy, but I didn’t want to court a side- ache, so the only thing I really ate was the salad. She brought an extra dinner roll and stayed as pleasant the whole time I was there, which was the better part of two hours, so I put down a good tip when I left. 当我到达了想来的地方，时间还早，所以我在原地等待。我发现了一个干净 的小餐馆，有一个大的前窗，我在那里读我的报纸，思索和构思舞蹈的台词。 我告诉女服务生，我想要一个大杯的咖啡，在我点菜之前。大约半小时 之后，她拿着咖啡壶，问我准备好了吗?要给我添加咖啡。她是位好心和 有耐心的人，我想知道, 她在工作中做些什么? 好象没有象女服务生的工 作这么辛苦劳累。她年轻，也许是这样的。我问她什么好吃? 她推荐说 烤鸡是特色菜。当在她休息的时候，吃的就是烤鸡。我也点了这菜, 但 我只吃了一点点, 因为我想得到东西的能量, 但是我又不想让我的侧面 疼痛。所以，实际上我只吃了沙拉。她拿来一个额外的午餐面包放在这 里，我是愉快的，我渡过了最好的两个小时，所以当我离开时给了不少 小费。 14. While I was in the diner, a truly gaunt* young man came in. He When he left he was full of baked chicken special with an extra dinner roll. He wouldn’t take a loan. Pride, maybe, or maybe he didn’t believe I could spare it, and I didn’t want to be sitting in a public place pushing the idea that I had plenty of money. Maybe I don’t know the value of money but I do know what discretion is worth. The guy was reluctant even to take the chicken dinner, but I convinced him that if he didn’t eat it, nobody would, He reminded me of Mutts, except that Mutts had never been hungry like that. (*gaunt: very thin) 当我用餐时，一个很瘦的年轻人进来了。他只点了汤，但他吃饭时如同 饿了很长时间。他有礼貌的要了一些饼干，女服务生拿来一些给他。当 他离开的时候，他吃了特殊的烤鸡和一块儿额外的面包。他没有签借款， 所以很得意，或者也许他不相信，我能分让给他，而我不想在一个公共场 所这样做，我有大量的钱。也许我不知道货币的价值，但是我知道不做无 畏的冒险这才是值得的。这家伙甚至是勉强去吃这顿鸡，但我确信，他如 果不吃这顿饭，也没人请他吃。他使我想起了马梯斯, 除了这个年轻人，马 梯斯从来没有像他这样饿过。 15. When the lines were forming, I started on over. While I waited, I watched the people. There were some kids on the street, dressed a lot like me in my worn jeans, faded turtleneck, and jersey warm-up jacket. They were working the crowd like their hopes amounted to spare change. The theater patrons waiting in line were dressed to the nines,* as they say. There is something that makes the well-dressed not look at the shabby. Maybe it’s guilt. Maybe it’s embarrassment because, relatively, they’re overdressed. I don’t know. I do know it makes it easy to study them in detail. Probably makes them easy marks* for pickpockets, too. The smell of them was rich: warm wool, sweet spice and alcohol, peppermint and shoe polish. I thought I saw Mutts at the other edge of the crowd, just for a moment, but I remem- bered he couldn’t be. (*dressed to the nines: dressed in expensive clothes) (*easy mark: an easy victim) 当台词被编好，我重新开始。我观察着人们。街上有一些孩子们，穿着 打扮很像我，穿着磨旧的牛仔裤，已经褪色的高领绒衣，紧身运动衫，保 暖的夹克。他们好像希望人们对他们有所施舍, 给点零钱, 散点银子。这场 表演的观众在排队等候着，穿戴比较名贵讲究,看上去不是衣衫褴缕.可能会 被责备的,这可能是富人的烦恼,因为,相比之下他们穿得太讲究,我不知道,我 只知道模仿他们很容易了.也许他们容易成为扒手的受害者。他们的嗅觉很 灵敏，温暖的羊毛，甜味的调味品和酒精，薄荷和鞋的光泽。我想到马梯 斯在一群人的边上，只是一会儿功夫，但他已经不在那儿了。 16. I was wearing my sneakers, carrying my taps. They’re slicker* black shoes that answer me back. They’re among the few things I’ve bought for myself and I keep them shiny. I sat on the curb and changed my shoes. I tied the sncakers together and draped them over my shoulder. (*slicker: patent leather shiny and smooth) 我穿上我的运动鞋，带着我的踢踏舞鞋，它们是黑漆皮磨光的和光滑的 黑鞋。它们仿佛在召唤我回来，它们是我为数不多为我自己买的物品， 我保持它们始终发亮。我坐在街头换我的鞋子。我把运动鞋捆在一起, 然后挂在肩上。 17. I turned on my tape player and the first of my favorite show tunes began as I got to my feet. I waited a few beats but no one paid atten- tion until I started to dance. My first taps rang off the concrete clear and clean, measured, a telegraphed message: Takka-takka-takka-tak! Takka-takka- takka -tak! Takka-takka-takka-tak-tak-tak! I paused; Everyone turned. 我打开我的录音机，第一次播放我喜爱的曲子，开始接触我的工作， 我等着几个拍子，但没人注意我,，直到我开始跳舞，我第一个踢踏 舞响动流出的是明确,清楚,利索的,缓慢而又有节奏，流露出一个信 息: 踏克-踏克-踏克-踏克-踏克!暂停；此时每个人都转过身来看我. 18. I taped an oh-so-easy, wait-a-minute time-step while I lifted the sneakers from around my neck. I gripped the laces in my right hand and gave the shoes a couple of overhead, bola-style swings, tossing them to land beside the tape player, neat as you please. I didn’t miss a beat. The audience liked it. I knew they would. Then I let the rhythm take me and I started to fly. Everything came together. I had no weight, no worries, just the sweet, solid beat. feets, do you stuff.* (*feets, do your stuff”: “Feet, start dancing”) 我放的录音的是一个很容易的舞蹈，停顿了一分钟，录的音开始播 放，这时，我举起我的两只运动鞋绕在我的脖子上，然后我抓紧鞋 带，用我的右手把两双鞋高举在我的头顶上，做流星锤旋转，我摇 晃着它们来到了录音机旁边，随着人们所喜欢的，我没有丢掉一个 节拍，观众喜爱这样，我知道他们会这样。然后我让节奏带着我， 开始飞，我感觉每个东西都来聚在一起, 我没有了重量，没有烦恼， 只有悦耳的，纯粹的节拍，开始跳舞。 19. Didn’t I dance. And wasn’t I smooth. Quick taps and slow-rolling, jazz it, swing it, on the beat, off the beat, out of one tune right into the next and the next and I never took one break. It was a chill of a night, but didn’t I sweat, didn’t that jacket just have to come off. Didn’t I feel the solid jar to the backbone from the heavy heel steps, and the pump of my heart on the beat on the beat. 我不跳舞,那我是不能平静的.快速的踢踏舞,和慢速滚动,在爵士乐中， 在旋转中，在节拍上，又停止在节拍上，然后结束了一个曲调，进 入下一个，再下一个，我从来没有休息过。这是一个寒冷的夜晚， 我没有出汗，也没穿夹克，只有表演。我没有觉得结实的罐子从沉 重的脚跟行走到背后, 舞蹈的节拍与心脏的跳动合上了节拍。 20. Time passed. I danced. A sandy-haired man came out of the theater. He looked confused. He said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, curtain in five minutes.” I’m sure that’s what he said. Didn’t I dance and didn’t they all stay. The sandy-haired man, he was tall and slim and he looked like a dancer. Didn’t he stay, too. 时间过去了，我仍在跳舞。一个沙色头发的男人从剧场出来，他显得 有点糊涂，他说, “女士们, 先生们，闭幕5分钟。”我确信他所说的， 我不跳了，他们全都没留下。这个沙色头发的男人，是个身材苗条的 高个子。他像一个跳舞者，也没有留下。 21. Every move I knew, I made, every step I learned, I took, until the tape had run out, until they set my rhythm with the clap of their hands, until the sweet sound of the overture drifted out, until I knew for certain they had held the curtain for want of an audience. Then I did my knock-down, drag-out, could-you-just-die, great big Broadway-baby finish. (*baby finish = theatrical finish) 我知道每一个电影，我跳每一个舞，直到录音全部放完，直到他们为我 的舞蹈鼓掌，直到序曲甜美的声音飘了出来，直到我确切的知道他们为观众 保持着幕布等着我。我尽情地表演，推出双拳，展开双臂，仰望上空， 啊！我陶醉在绝妙的灵感之中,在无与伦比的戏剧性的热烈表演中结束了。 22. Didn’t they applaud, oh honey, didn’t they yell, and didn’t they throw money. I dug coins from my own pockets and dropped them, too, leaving it all for the street kids. Wasn’t the slender man with the sandy hair saying, “See me after the show”? I ‘m almost sure that’s what he said as I gripped my tape recorder, grabbed my sneakers, my jacket, and ran away, ran with a plan and a purpose, father with each step from my beginnings and into the world, truly heading home. 他们没有鼓掌吗?奥！亲爱的，他们没有叫喊，他们没有扔钱。我从口 袋里挖出一些硬币来。然后扔抛出去,为这些流落接头的孩子们。不是那 个苗条的和有沙色头发的男人说过,“表演之后来看我?”我几乎肯定, 那 是他说的，我紧握我的录音机，抓起我的运动鞋，我的牛仔裤，然后带 着一个计划和目的跑步离开。父亲从我一开始表演的每一个舞蹈，就在 这个世界上真诚的带领着全家。 23. The blood that drummed in my ears set the rhythm as I ran, ran easy, taps ringing off the pavement, on the beat, on the beat, on the beat. Everything was pounding, but I had to make the next bus, that I knew, catch that bus and get on to the next town, and the next, and the next, and the next. Funeral tomorrow, but Mutts will not be there, no, and neither will I. I’m on tour. 当我跑步的时候, 我听到热血沸腾的节奏，轻松地跑，节拍鸣响在人行 道上。合拍，合拍，拍拍合拍，一切都在节拍的敲击中。而我不得不赶 下一班公共汽车，然后奔向下一个城镇, 下一个，再下一个，然后下一个。 明天虽然有马梯斯的葬礼，但马梯斯将不参加，我也不会去，我正在旅行 之中。
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